A Grumpy Old Man’s Tale 62 Hello Dad

Dave laughed and said, “Simmering on the Hobb‽ That’s over the border in Northumberland isn’t it? Small spot no more that six hundred folk live there.”

Tommy Dowerson said, “Nah. You got that one mixed up, Dave. That’s Gravy on the Hobb you’re going on about over in Northumberland. The Hobb river over there is nay mere than a beck. Simmering on the Hobb is on the outskirts of Ross on Wye away down country, Herefordshire way. Ross has about eleven thousand folk and t’other spot has maybe four. Just on the other side of Ross from Simmering is Custard on the Hobb where the custard boreholes are which strictly puts it into Wales. The Hobb is a big tributary, mostly in Wales, of the Wye which eventually runs into the Severn Estuary. There’re some odd town names down that way like Builth Wells and Symonds Yat. I only know because I did a postmasters’ course in Hereford a few years back.” There was just enough truth in Dave’s and Tommy’s ridiculous remarks to cause some confusion in the newer outsiders, but considerable hilarity amongst the locals and regular attenders from outside. Inventing silly, often profanely coarse, place names and equally ridiculous personal names vaguely connected to the satirical comedies of Monty Python, The Goons and Much Binding on the Marsh was an ongoing game they played often at each others’ expense. Their recently invented favourites were the villages of Shaver on the Motte, Hard on the Rod and Whacking on the Edge, the last of which came about as a result of a discussion concerning killing flies with a fly swatter. For some reason he wouldn’t explain Fluff in the Hinge was considered to be particularly amusing by Alf.

Someone has been killing cats in the neighborhood. Kathy, who is 10, tries to protect her cat, but eventually, someone catches her cat outside and kills it.

When Kathy learns who has killed her cat and others in the neighborhood, she makes them pay by becoming two new girls.

Max never truly believed that his dream of becoming a magical girl could become a reality - but he never even imagined that becoming the villainess of the magical girls was a possibility! 

***

Ever since the first Magical Girls appeared, to fight against the Violet Ooze threat, Max has dreamed of joining their ranks. Not that he’s particularly interested in the girl part - no way! - but the magical bit? The being a hero bit? That’s everything he’s ever wanted in life! So when a Magical Crystal offers him an out from the mundanity of college life, he agrees without a second thought! 

Unfortunately, the Magical Crystal gets attacked by Violet Ooze during the formation of their contract! Instead of a purehearted magical girl, ready to face the forces of evil, Max ends up as the Violet Queen - the new leader of those very same monsters!

Of course, the problems don’t end there! She's got magical girls aiming for her head, powers that are fueled by people lusting after her, and - worst of all - a ‘corrupted’ crystal that insists the true threat to the world is actually the (unwitting) magical girls themselves!

Cover by my lovely friend Lulla.

We were late getting up the next morning. Lisa met Helen in her dressing gown and showed her to the lounge whilst I speed-dressed, no need for shaving any more. I slowed down to make a dignified entry into the lounge, Helen was sitting on her usual armchair and rose to greet me.

“Sorry I’m late, slept in…”

“Looks like you both did… all OK?”

“Yes, great… definitely, great…”

“I’ve something for you, things are a little more relaxed here than in the UK.”

Is Late Better than Never? Chapter 7
by Lily Rasputin

I got home about ten minutes before Devon’s bus arrived. I waved to him as it pulled to a stop and the doors opened. Bouncing off the steps, he ran over and gave me a hug. As I hugged him back, it dawned on me that his attitude since my return had been overtly friendly. Not that he was a shy kid to begin with. It just seemed like he was extraordinarily excited that I was here.

 
 
(This is my first published story, so please be gentle with your comments. I wish to thank Penny Lane for all her encouragement and her editing of this story. Any remaining errors or omissions are all mine. Thanks, Iona.)

The Last Sleepover

At a sleepover with his childhood best friends, Elliot hears them making fun of a transgender celebrity. Elliot has always felt different and an outsider. He works to discover his true identity and when he does it's hard to accept. Elliot struggles between staying silent and standing up for himself. Will he reveal his secret or pretend to be someone he’s not?

“Beautiful,” I involuntarily whisper as I watch the image on my screen, grateful that my microphone is on mute and that none of the other teenagers — the other girls — on the call can hear me. And in fairness, the images I’m seeing ARE beautiful.

The 15-year-old girl looks effortlessly elegant as she glides across the floor in her pink tutu. Even her pink face mask doesn’t detract from the illusion that she is the perfect image of a ballerina — although the badge stuck to the tutu that says ’15 today’ does a little.

Chapter 14

There was a car outside and waiting for me at seven the next morning. Mum had come into my room and pulled my duvet off at six thirty, so I was up and breakfasted and about to reach for my phone when the doorbell rang.

I recognised him from the demonstration David and I had given – pang of hurt at the thought of David – but I didn’t remember a name or even if one had been offered.

“No Finn?” I asked more breezily than I felt.

“Er, commissioned officers don’t tend to pull driver duty, er, ma’am, er, miss. Sorry.”