From Julia's Story...

“But I need to know I still have a husband…inside?" She placed her hand on Julia's heart. "...that he'll always be a part of you…I can’t do this unless I have all of you, Jim…Julia?”

“Merry Christmas, Julia.”

The woman sat on the piano bench as the boy concluded his practice.

“…oh, Petey, that was just wonderful,” the woman practically gushed. The boy looked up into his teacher’s eyes and saw a bit of relief. She was worried about his vow to quit; eight year olds will do that, but he marshaled on every practice and finally had gotten the exercise down. She smiled, which made him very, very happy.

“I think you’re going to be just fine, Petey…Just fine indeed. She leaned back and brushed a stray lock of hair from her forehead and breathed out a long sigh as things began to fade, as if in a nice but all-too short....dream.

“Hon…honey?” Cheryl grabbed her husband’s arm…what else to call it, she thought.

“The store called. Lois can’t come in today; she’s got a huge test to finish for her license, and nobody else can fill in. I’m so sorry.”

Cheryl was sorry. Only months before her days had been filled with confusion and fear over the future. Her spouse had lost employment due to an odd and annoying mixture of budgetary concerns and outright ignorance and prejudice. In the midst of that struggle, Cheryl had rediscovered her love for her husband, and that love had translated quite unexpectedly into deep appreciation and love for the other half… make that maybe three-fourths woman her spouse was ‘becoming.’

“I know it’s not fair, but we’ll make it.” It really wasn’t a question of making it so much as getting to a place where things actually went their way in how they wanted to live. Cheryl hadn’t gotten to that place where she ‘wanted’ to live in a monogamous relationship with another woman, but she loved Jim enough to find a way to love Julia. And thankfully, it wasn’t all her give and Julia take.

“I’m the one that should be sorry. If I hadn’t come out to the church board, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.” Julia shook her head. Of course she had to come out to the board; anything less would have been nearly fraudulent in her eyes since her own heart and mind and eventual body were at complete odds with church doctrine.

The nice and sad thing both at the same time about it was that many of the folks in church supported her. Even some of the board supported her. The really sad thing is that the folks who revoked her ordination still loved her in their own way. No ill will but just an insistence that things are just so and she was just not so.

“No, honey. Don’t say that.” Cheryl may have been a bit reserved in her support of Julia’s transition, but it wasn’t for the lack of wanting. She just still struggled with how she felt about the husband of her youth becoming the wife of her middle age. How did she fit into this new equation if the other half was a wife? Was she still a wife? A spouse? A partner? A….lesbian. Still, she found herself oddly and quite uncomfortably attracted to the woman the man in her life was now presenting to the world, if ever so tentatively and not at all as frequent as he/she had hoped. And Cheryl's love and determined stubborn devotion to Julia became even more devoted and protective; not quite like a mother hen, but more like a lioness coming to the aid of a sister within the pride? Do they even do that?

“You’ve got your Masters and this is the twenty-first century, after all.” She almost laughed at the irony. Life changed slowly even in places with progressive thought behind their big ideas, and a transsexual piano instructor was hard enough to accept. Julia would probably never ‘minister’ in song again unless it was on a street corner in New York singing gospel songs. Her days as a music minister were over.

“From your mouth to the goddess’ ears,” Julia muttered in frustration. She still held to an all loving God that more closely followed exactly what scripture said about male and female aspects of His image; another thing that would have likely gotten her into a bit of trouble had she still been a part of the ministry team.

“Oh, God hears me alright; I’m too loud and pissed off to keep quiet!” The more people pushed Julia…pushed them both, the more she pushed back; part of that unwritten rule in every family says that you can be angry and maybe even very upset with a spouse or a sibling or a child, but God forbid someone else goes against them. Which was a good thing; if anyone wanted to love forever, it was Cheryl, and she could use all the inspiration she could get.

“It barely gives me time for the interview,” Julia said with a sigh. She brushed her long hair back into a unisex-like ponytail and pulled on her nondescript over sized denim shirt. Late-in-life transition bore very few perks, but being somewhat if not completely nondescript gender-wise was nevertheless a help.

“I just hope they give me a fair chance.” She said as she hurried out the door; her male countenance beaming ever-so-slightly in anticipation of a very long day at the music store.

New Windsor, New York…that afternoon….

“I’m very sorry.” Julia-as-Jim said, sitting down at the woman’s desk.

“I had expected you to be dressed.” The woman said. Her tone seemed just a bit disappointed, but that was belied by the growing grin on her face.

“I was called into work and didn’t get a chance to change.”

“Well, we can’t have that. You’ll have to present to our clientele in away that engenders trust and security.” She grinned again; almost laughing at the turn of her phrase.

“I promise to do whatever you want me to. I really need this job.” Julia didn’t just need the job; she desperately needed to be able to work once again in her gifting, and she was prepared to be whomever they wanted, even if it meant being Jim for them. Was she being fair to herself? She would never get the chance to find out.

“It says here on your application, ‘Jay Companiello, but I understand you go by your given name.” Julia cringed even as the woman began to laugh softly. Whatever was going on, the woman at least was cordial, even if it meant a cordial turndown.

“I’ll expect you’ll want to come to work…to start as soon as possible.” The woman tossed the application into an open folder on her desk.

“Start?” The word came out of her mouth and she gasped as she realized all of her practice had paid off; perhaps to the detriment of the position she was just offered.

“Of course, it being Christmas week, you’ll probably want to come in before New Years to get yourself acclimated.” She pointed to the calendar behind her desk.

“Now we don’t have a strict dress code, per se, but we do expect you to look professional, okay? Slacks are perfectly alright, but no jeans. Now if you want, you can wear a dress, though I wouldn’t recommend it until Spring. And you might consider wearing some makeup, Ms. Campaniello.” By then the woman had quite lost it and was giggling.

“I don’t understand.”

“I do…” She pointed to her name plaque:

“Agnes O’Dwyer, Principal”

“Dr. Rumer…Class of 2003? Used to be Alex way back when.” She laughed and Julia’s eyes widened in recognition; she’d been to the website hundreds of times, perhaps, and had met several folks who had been blessed with Dr. Rumer’s expertise. Julia’s face began to redden.

“Oh gosh, no, dear. Please. A Little Bird called me to say you were going to be late because of your job. We got to talking, but I knew about you already because I was turned down for the very position you lost at the church when they found out how…similar we are. And yes, they had no business telling me anything about your dismissal. A breach of ethics as well as a very mean-spirited decision on their part to flex their theological muscles, I suppose.” She paused.

“I am sorry. Very sorry. But I took the liberty of asking some folks in town. They said you were as kind and as caring a person and your music brought many of them closer to God, I expect.” By now Julia was completely unprofessional in that she was crying enough to drip tears on the desk before her. She forgot where she was and used the sleeve of her work shirt to wipe her nose.

“I’m so glad we have found someone with your talent and dedication. Welcome aboard!”

Little Britain Elementary School, New Windsor, New York…the Friday before Christmas…

“Was that okay, Miss C?” The little girl turned from the keyboard and faced Julia, who was standing to her left just off stage. The remark gained a lot of attention since it was at the end of her first recital in an auditorium filled with adoring parents.

“That was just fine, Sandy…just fine!” She said loud enough for the whole audience to hear it. And she looked out over the group, scanning the seats until she saw a familiar if still-shy half-smile. All doubts left for good, however, when Cheryl stood up and began to applaud. Funny how that goes; a person who wasn’t even in Sandy’s family applauding like that. But the tears streaming down her cheeks spoke very clearly as well; that everything from now on would be just fine. Just fine indeed!

Next: Betsy's Legacy

Christmas Time Is Here
Words by Lee Mendelson
Music by Vince Guaraldi
as performed by the Peanuts Gang
from A Charlie Brown Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hajwg6kxpQ4