---

 
They lay in bed, holding, hugging, kissing after a long day apart, as most couples usually have. Gina asked the question once again; true to form, her first question regarding the decision was always, “Are you sure?” This time, the question was asked and answered several times already, and the decision had already been made. It was her way of letting her spouse know that she supported the decision entirely, as if to say,

“You did this for me as much as for you; I agree, and I want you to know that I’m not only okay with it, I embrace it as well.”
So once again, “Are you sure?” was asked, but quickly followed by, “If you say,’ as ever was,’ please be sure to add, ‘darlin’ to it.”

“As ever was, no. Not at all, but as sure as anyone can be about something like this, my sweet darlin’ wife,” which produced a broad beaming grin from Gina.

This scene might have appeared somewhat odd, perhaps, to some; but the two of them were comfortable. Gina lay in bed, her hand propping up her head as she ran her finger’s through her husband’s blonde hair. She was clad only in the top satin sheet, draped over her more because of the cool but restful breeze that came through the bedroom window than by any sense of modesty. She was entirely modest in the proper context of course, but here, in the marriage bed next to her lover there was no need.

Her spouse’s attire, however, would likely appear odd to some, appearing quite attractive in a long black nightgown with a lace bodice and spaghetti straps. Perhaps needless to say, while some might feel uncomfortable seeing Gina’s husband clad in such a manner, Gina was entirely comfortable and even glad for the appearance her husband had recently assumed.

Their ongoing questions regarding Ben’s “sister” Katie, his alter-ego, were more and more a part of conversation, but less in regard to the decision and more in which manner the decision had been implemented. Katie was spending much more time in “their” bed with Gina, albeit with Ben’s “attributes” if I may be so bold.

Gina was understanding more and more of how much a product of her past Katie actually was, but in an entirely new way, appreciating that it was a blessing; a good thing that God had done in Ben through the pain of abuse and neglect. As someone once told me, which I believe to be true for myself as well as Katie and others, “she was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.”

Wanting to be as affirming as possible, Gina asked another question, which garnered the same answer she had heard the previous five times she asked, or rather stated, “It’s such a big step,” which was the understatement of the year.

Katie turned to her and kissed her suddenly and hard, quite amorously in light of the innocuous manner of the moment, but said quietly, softly with her endearing brogue,

“Since I was able to keep everything that my precious God gave me at my birth, I don’t mind that we’ve added anything, do you?”

Gina had struggled with her feelings until she realized that she never stopped loving her husband; she just realized that the man she married; the one person in the world she had trusted her life with; the one she had fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with was more woman than she had known, in a manner of speaking. Her conflict arose more from how she saw herself and what she felt about her own beliefs.

While she would never begrudge anyone their own choice, really understanding that more than some, she was committed to being married to her husband, and not a “wife” per se, and was entirely glad that Katie had decided to remain “intact.” And her conflict regarding every other manner of her husband’s transformation had dissipated when she recognized that apart from her obvious change in appearance, Katie was still her husband. In a manner of speaking, Ben hadn’t gone away at all, but the entire person Gina had loved from the very first meeting had become more integrated, and Ben and Katie were now whole, as it were, with Katie’s name and appearance being the persona both she and Gina had decided was best for them.

Ben’s compassion and caring and understanding was completely and wholly still a part of the person they were becoming. In a sense, there was much more gain than loss, as some might have seen it. The only significant difference that was irretrievable was that Ben would no longer be playing rugby with the boys on Sundays, although many of his teammates had already accepted the change and continued to be friends to them both. The ones who either didn’t understand or accept Katie had never been close to Ben anyway, so it was more to their detriment and loss than Ben’s.

“I remember you said one thing a long time ago that I’ve been thinking about recently, and I’ve come to the conclusion that you were wrong; entirely mistaken, my dear; I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel.” Katie said this while nibbling on her wife’s ear, almost in a brand new way, purring slightly.

Gina looked shocked. Ben had rarely disagreed with her, and Katie now as well, owing mostly to the fact that they were so attuned to each other, and they almost always were “on the same page,” as they say.

“And what could I possibly have been wrong about?” She wondered what she could have said or done in the past that was just now becoming important enough to bring up.

“You said, after finding out about and falling in love with me,” Katie put her hand on her chest, indicating “Katie” as opposed to Ben, “that one benefit of it was that we could share outfits.” She laughed softly, her voice becoming more feminine, not out of practice or effort, but rather just a natural change occurring in a rather pleasantly surprising way.

Gina was shocked again, and was about to say something almost rude when Katie looked her in the eye and abruptly kissed her again before adding,

“You are the most attractive gorgeous and sexy woman on the face of the earth, and I could never do justice to anything you wear, even with my change.”

Gina looked at Katie and smiled, almost in an impish manner before kissing Katie back and saying in her own, ersatz brogue,
“Tis true, tis true, darlin’. But you’re still beautiful in my book. Let’s just see how we match up, shall we?” She threw off her sheet and in an instant had leaned over and pulled the nightgown off of Katie.”

“I think we match up just fine,” she said and she leaned over and turned off the light.

“Yep…we match up just fine!”

---

Remember, Remember

If We Could Remember — Jerry Goldsmith and Paul Williams
From the Sum of All Fears sung by Yolanda Adams
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/node/15410/edit
Next: Exploring the past; building the future.