(aka Bike) Part 1035 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
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I have never had this sort of trouble with dormice, I thought as I made lunch. At least I didn’t have to make any formal announcement–Billie had sort of done that, albeit without much subtlety.
I was putting the lamb into the oven after lunch when I had a horrible thought; if Billie goes girly, then I can hardly let him sleep with Danny. Oh shit, that means I lose the spare room. I won’t say anything for the moment, but if there is a problem, I’ll have to split them up.
The dinner was cooking nicely, although Julie, and the girls had worked well to help me get the place looking inhabited before Stephanie arrived. I spotted her driving her Mazda sports car into the drive and parking it next to the Mondeo. She had a little look at Simon’s Jaguar, then came up to the house.
Trish had also spotted her, because she flung open the door and dashed out to meet her. I don’t think I ever did that to any psychiatrist I knew. Obviously the innocence of youth–or Trish is scheming again–little monster.
I met Stephanie as soon as she came into the house and she presented me with a bottle of wine, “My contribution to the repast,” she smiled. I thanked her and asked her if she wanted to eat or see Billie first.
“Can the food wait for half an hour?” she asked.
“Certainly.”
“I’ll see our newest patient first then, if that’s okay–then I can relax.”
“Fine, Tom is still playing with his vegetable patch, so you can use his study. I’ll stick a notice on the door for you not to be disturbed.”
“Sounds good.”
“Want a drink of anything first? Tea, coffee, soft drink, water, booze?”
“Water sounds fine, it’s warm in the car.”
“Yes, but this may be all the summer we get, so enjoy it.”
“Oh, I will.”
“Here’s the study, organise it as you wish–oh, Billie decided this morning that he wants to dress in girly mode–so I got him a dress. Unsurprisingly, Trish was an enthusiastic supporter of his transformation.”
Stephanie rolled her eyes, “There’s a surprise.”
“Exactly, anyway, here’s your water, I shall go and find my newest daughter.”
“Cathy?”
“Yes?”
“He doesn’t know about you, does he?”
“I don’t think so, but I can’t be certain.”
“Okay, I’ll maintain the status quo then.”
Billie was sitting with Livvie and Trish, who were calming her down. I’m still not at all sure about this latest convert to the cause, but I suppose I should do the courtesy of employing the appropriate pronoun depending upon how he/she is dressed.
I’m beginning to appreciate why some employers say they’ll accept one change, but not a flitting to and fro. I beckoned Billie to accompany me to Tom’s study and I knocked on the door. On entering, I introduced, Billie as my newest daughter and then left them to it. I went back to the kitchen for a very long half hour wait.
I washed and chopped the mint leaves with a knife and began making the mint sauce. I suppose I was unconsciously monitoring my actions because I would otherwise have cut some of my fingers off.
I heard the study door open and Billie shot past me and upstairs. I wondered if something went wrong and was deciding whether I demanded to know what had happened when Stephanie called me from the study.
“Why did she rush upstairs?”
“I asked her to stay by herself until I’d spoken to you.”
“Oh, that sounds ominous.”
“Not really, I didn’t want her gossiping with Trish and co until I’d spoken with you.”
“Okay–do we have a diagnosis?”
Stephanie looked past me and at the door which to my thinking meant she was going to be evasive to try and hurry her way through the door.
“Yes and no.”
“Surely you either have or haven’t?”
“Cathy, you of all people should understand the imprecisions of the art of psychiatry.”
“Whatever happened to science?”
“Playing with disturbed or damaged minds is a far from perfect science.”
“Can I have that in writing?” I cheeked back.
“If you’re looking for a reduction in fee–tough.”
“I had a feeling that might be your response.”
“I’m pleased I didn’t disappoint–people these days can’t seem to cope with rejection.”
“So, let’s have it then–your imperfect diagnosis.”
She glared at me. “Billie is transgendered, I have no doubt of that. Whether she’s a full on transsexual such as Julie or Trish–I have some doubts.”
“Is there any way of removing those doubts?”
“In a longer term study, yes.”
“How long?”
“...Is a piece of string?”
“Oh great,” I sighed–just what I needed, “dinner’s practically ready, so if you are?”
“Yes, we’ll talk of this again–oh did you know he was sexually abused?”
“Before he came here I hope?”
“Natch–when he was about three years old.”
“God–that makes my blood boil.”
“Well, before you have a stroke, how about you serve my dinner.” She smiled sweetly at me and I glowered at her before returning to the kitchen to dish up. As I turned to leave, she fired off a salvo, “I’m glad you’re not one of my patients–bottling up resentment isn’t good for you, you know.”
“Yeah–tell me about it.”
At dinner, Tom carved the meat and I ladled vegetables on everyone’s plate. The meat was delicious, even if it was New Zealand lamb, which is okay, but not quite as good as Welsh. Never mind, everyone ate far too much and a few imbibed too many as well.
I kept looking at Billie, wondering exactly what was going on in her little head. She looked quite feminine at the moment, but puberty can’t be too far away–then all sorts of strange things might happen. I wish I knew how best to help her–but if a professional like Stephanie was unsure how to proceed, what chance did I have? Tomorrow, I was going to have a visit to the university and do some dormouse correlations–I’m losing touch with my roots and my other needs, which I ignore at my peril.
After dinner had officially finished–we’d got to the stage where everyone was picking bits of meat out of their fillings and drinking wine or coffee. The kids had been dismissed except Julie, and Stephanie addressed us.
“I told Cathy that I wasn’t sure what pigeon hole applied to Billie. However, for the moment we go with the transgender path and I think allow her to dress in female garb whenever the mood takes her.”
“So–is she like, transsexual then?” asked Julie.
“I don’t know yet, but there are a number of issues which need resolving and she’ll need support for from all of you. If they are resolved, her original boy identity might resurface and dominate–but it’s not certain–these things tend to make themselves up as they go along.”
I sighed to myself–that’s all I bloody well need.
Comments
Bike pt 1035.
The news about Billie was a shocker! Now, will she tell Mummy Cathy about it? And does Billie feel safe around Tom, Simon, Leon and Danny?
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
She trusted someone enough already to reveal her abuse;
she'll tell Cathy. Let's hope she can identify who did this. And they can go to jail for a very long time. And why wouldn't she feel safe around the boys. Stephanie never said who had abused the child. There's no indication whatsoever that she doesn't trust them.
Sometimes you don't get recourse.
There were 4 who got me. I never saw them again.
K
You never know
Although it is rare, I'm told, female pedophiles can abuse little boys, I'm far too much well acquainted with that. Billie might, in dealing with that past, come to have more troubles with women if it comes to that. I know I had a lot of trouble with that, which actually delayed my transitioning.
Duh
Yeah, in out, in, out, shake it all about.
Well this is sure going to shake up the status quo. (And that's not the pop group either.)
There's going to be a right load of clucking an cackling amongst the old righteous busy-body groups and boy can they just get up your nose and under your skin.
Good luck Cathy! You're going to need it.
Still lovin it,
Curiousor and curiousor.
OXOXOX.
Beverly.
Childhood
Childhood abuse, eh? As always when I hear that in relation to gender variant behavior, I have to wonder which came first, the chicken or the egg. I know for me that by the time I was three, I was questioning my gender identity, and concluded, happily, that I would grow up to be a girl despite people calling me a boy, he, etc. In a case like Billie's, were there unconscious cues to her abuser that she was particularly vulnerable, or was it that the abuse triggered some kind of self esteem crisis that has caused him to respond as he has in school as he continues to be perceived as a victim to abusers, and at home to a strong female figure? Since I think gender identity forms early and probably pre-natally as part of the development of the amygdala, I sorta suspect that it is that which can make a child more vulnerable to abuse. I was lucky, and my exposure to abusive behavior by adults was limited to parents and a doctor doing the best they could for me at the time, but I know others who were victims at a young age, and there have been people on this site that have discussed their past as well. Still, in grade school I was seen as "different", not helped by my ineptness at boy sports of all kinds, and isolated to a considerable degree. I did have friends that were almost as inept as I was, but they were mainly those very smart, artistic kids we would call geeks now, but I knew I was even different to them. Ah well.
CaroL
CaroL
This looks like the first comment, but I'll bet it isn't...
Still loving the series, Angharad. Nothing else to say except _please_ leave some time for yourself! 1035 episodes at a rate of very close to one a day must be putting a lot of pressure on you!
Stephanie said:
"original boy identity might resurface and dominate—but it’s not certain"
Is that the current theory of TS-ism then? I think many m2f's and f2m's gain a lot of comfort from the thought that 'It's not my fault, I was born like this...' We're all complicated animals though. Maybe the dormouse research can be extrapolated?
Val
(currently listening to Gorrilaz@Glasto.........
The only bit of good news...
...I can see from these revelations is that at least the abuse has come to light now, rather than being something which is going to remain hidden through Billie's adolescence and adulthood.
Hopefully, with treatment from Dr Stephanie, helped and supported by Cathy and the Cameron clan, any long-term effects will be minimised, and Billy will learn to cope with this situation.
Shooting or hanging would be too good for the perpetrator(s).
Thanks A&B, sometimes your writing has a gritty realism.
Poor Sod
Bike Archive
Bike Resources
Billie Obviously Associated Being A Boy As Bad
Billie obviously associated being a boy with the sexual abuse he suffered, thus in his mind, being a boy is bad. He/she figures that maybe if he was a girl that it wouldn't happen to them. He/ she will learn eventually that girls are sexually abused too. At least Billie won't have to worry about that with Cathy and family. I think Cathy should demand to see all of the records they have for Billie and ask why the poor thing hadn't been in counseling all along. I can just see Cathy going hunting with her bow and arrow if she finds out who it was. If I was a parent, there is no way anyone would get away with hurting my child like that. The perp would wish they were dead by the time I got through with them. I suppose Stephanie may be the first one He/She has told. One thing is for certain, Cathy and the rest of the family will provide the love and support Billie will need. There is no excuse for abuse!
The Freudian boy/girly
At a very early age I was dressing as a girl, and loved it. Then the evil stepfather came on the scene, and he was an angry, mean, abusive, and pretty soon I came to the conclusion that girls were much nicer than boys and I wanted to be one. Add to the fact that big brothers are shits, and Mummy gave me a girl's name and was constantly bemoaning the fact that I had not been a girl, well you can get the logical outcome of that.
Not that I am complaining, or blaming anyone, mind you.
Much peace
Khadijah Gwen
This sounds like it will not resolve overnight
Why Billie is TG may not even come down to merely one factor but a composite of a number. The abuse is one, obviously, he seems also to desperately want to be more in Cathy's 'inner circle' as he sees it, the bullying he is receiving, his small size and finally I think his gentle nature. All these may blend in the psychic slot machine yielding 'girl' in Billie's mind.
Maybe not TS, but possibly TG/non-op.
Kim
It is too bad that Cathy and
It is too bad that Cathy and her "little tribe" can't meet the Skipper and her very much larger and happy group. They all have so much in common and could learn much from each other. We might also just find out that the Skipper, Maureen, Tamsin know each other from their sailing days. Anghard, you are too be commended for your wonderous tale of Cathy and the Cameron family, including 'Daddy'/'Granddad' Tom, and of course KiKi, the dog. Jan
I have to say I'm a little
I have to say I'm a little sad at seeing Cathy's attitude, she seems to constantly be thinking how it inconvenience's her and how others may see the situation, she has just had an initial basic diagnosis which means she has the backing of a professional.
That alone helps protect her showing she has at least sought specialist advice, Billie needs support from Cathy which I'm sure Cathy will provide but can she please get over herself and just help the poor child rather than keep questioning her own role in the situation. Or if Billie should be allowed to be female, no-ones even asked if Billie want's to be refered to as Billie or if she prefers another name.
This issue has been looming since Billie and Danny first came to stay with Cathy, even back then there were signs if one care to look, so it should not have come as such a surprise. But the way Cathy thought she could try to get Simon to help influence Billie in the hope he could bring out a male personality is just wrong.
Letting Billie decide herself I agree with but trying to tempt Billie one way or the other is again unfair, girls like video games too or has Cathy forgot that society has changed since the dark ages and girls and women are not redtricted to old fashioned stereotypes anymore.
I had loads more written but the main problem I feel is Cathy seems to transfer the issues onto herself, by that I mean this issue arrises and she immediately feels it's to do with her or her influence, why does she think every transgender issue revolves around her or is her fault. All it seems to do is cause Cathy to distance herself and put her on guard and self flagellate.
And her thought "that’s all I bloody well need." is a little unfair, Cathy went through self discovery herself she needs to remember that and show the compashion we know she is capaable of.
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
I think Stephanie has to have a talk
with Danny too to make sure he understands that Cathy IS NOT turning them in to girls. She's letting them be what they need to be.
Already done...
Cathy reassured them on two occasions in the week before the latest Mafia incident:
995 - The boys get worked up and need private reassurance from Cathy because Danny mistakenly thought she turned boys into girls.
999 - Cathy wakes to find Billy in her bed, who came because he couldn't sleep and was worried Cathy would like him and Danny better if they were girls. Cathy explains she loves them as boys, but if they want to experiment, she'd be fine.
Of course, it doesn't help that they're getting a conflicting message - Cathy's telling them she loves them whatever gender identity they prefer to adopt, whereas while Trish and Livvie also do, they've had too many Gaby stories read to them and have undoubtedly hinted that they'd love the boys more if they 'switched sides'.
Another possible incident I missed from last night's list: 923 - the boys hint they get teased because they like girls.
As for Billy's past abuse, perhaps she could try her own brand of psychotherapy, as demonstrated on Danny in 852.
EAFOAB Episode Summaries
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Cathy & attitude
I believe you took Cathy's stmt out of context. She's thinking of the bigger picture when she made that stmt. She's got alot on her plate with all the other stuff going on. & she's made it clear even to billy whom I still think is a boy that running away from his problems, not necessarily he's a girl. and this one line still shows proof of it
--------------------------------------------------------
“Good for you and your daughter, sorry I’ve forgotten your name um—“
“It’s Billy, and I’m a boy.â€
“Whoops, sorry about that, I forgot your mother had boys as well. You haven’t reconsidered about the UN job, have you, Cathy?â€
---------------------------------------------------------------
I say once again, """HE""" didnt hesitate for one second setting a stranger straight about what and whom "HE" was
COMPASSION??????????
ALISON
Our esteemed author has shown the compassion that Cathy has in more ways than one.
Cathy was the one to recognize that Billy had a problem and has encouraged her to
find herself,even taking her and Trish in to buy frocks to wear.Then she brought
Stephanie in to help the child further and is quite happy to let the status quo
remain until Billy sorts herself out one way or the other.
The exclamation "That's all I bloody well need" is a term used by women of all
ages in the Anglo Saxon world and in my 77 years I have heard it on numerous
occasions.With six children to look after,two of them already TG,it is a recognition
of another problem for Cathy to solve,as Simon would be as useful as the back boobs
on a male Bulldog in matters such as this.When it comes to compassion,Cathy is
the Queen !!!Thanks Angharad.
ALISON
Looks like
Cathy may be losing the use of her spare bedroom then!!!
Kirri (glad to be back)
Chez Dourmouse
Perhaps it's time to add another wing on Chez Dourmouse. And Cathy should include a proper office for Stephanie as I think she could easily stay busy handling the mental health needs of the inhabitants. Perhaps it could be in the new office wing next to the security office (and weapons locker). But Cathy need to keep her trusty bow and arrows in her own room.
Michelle B
Spare bedroom
How about sharing Julie's room, other than the inevitable moaning and griping. Julie may be starting to blossom from the hormones, but I suspect not quite yet.
Didn't Cathy do a blue light special for Billie about the abuse. Something about putting it into a box and dropping it into lava.
Confusing turn of events in Bike 1035
I'd got used to thinking of 'the boys' as a unit and find it difficult to believe that a psychiatrist would, after one short session, describe a child as transgendered.
The question of abuse has come up before but which child was it? Cathy doesn't remember it as being Billy/ie even though a new addition to the family.
Maybe the whole thing is a storyline hiccough after over a million words?
Rhona McCloud
My favorite kind of people, Infant/child abusers
Our Author is pushing my buttons, I want to grab my buggy whip and hunt someone down. I'm kinda a BSG anyway, with a whip I'm a FBSG.
That abuse shouldn't contribute to GID should it? (BSG- Big, Scary, Guy, F figure it out)
Whenever you want a definite answer from a shrink, you get, often yes, but sometimes no. thanks a lot !
Cefin