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From Alicia’s Chance

Alicia could hardly contain her glee, even if she was crying at the same time. She pulled Dana closer and hugged her. Their lips touched and they kissed. A moment later, the two pulled back and stared, tears in their eyes as they shook their heads no. Dana touched Alicia’s cheek softly and smiled.

“Sisters?”

Alicia nodded as she pulled her best friend ever into a warm sisterly embrace.

"Sisters!"

---

Sometime later, Newton, New Jersey…

“What the fuck, Narcise? What’s going on in that head of yours?” Jack actually rapped him on the top of his head with his knuckles. He hit him hard enough for him to wince, but Kenny remained silent as he had closed his eyes in a state of dreamy distraction. He didn’t really take care for where he was going and he felt strong, desperate hands yank him back suddenly as he just missed stepping in front of a town dump truck that barreled down the road.

“Fuck, Narcise, what the fuck is the matter with you?”

Kenny would have told him if he thought Jack would keep a secret, but Jack talked more than an annoying passenger on a three-hour bus trip. He did allow himself the luxury of speaking the name that had enamored him in his mind. And for that he got distracted one more time as he walked directly into the tall post for the Stop sign on the corner of the intersection. The last thing he remembered before hitting his head on the curb was that Jack had his hand out in a vain attempt to keep him from falling. And in his mind’s eye, he gazed longingly and frightfully ashamedly at the face that launched a thousand distracting accidents; Alicia Capulano.

---

Meanwhile at the Martino home...

Alicia stared at the image in the mirror. She shook her head; freckles that most might think endearing embarrassed her, and she was shaky in the confidence department before she even looked at herself.

“Oh, come on. You’re cute!”

Dana grinned. A bond between them made almost everything they said to each other about each other undeniable. Nevertheless, Alicia struggled with the complement. It was true that she’d received a whole lot of confused acceptance from her mother of late, but she’d been back and forth between being confident and insecure. As much as she loved her mother, she’d never known her Dad; a reasonable functional if entirely selfish bastard who left her and her mother alone when she was a baby. She found herself feeling almost jealous of Dana in that regard. Once Dave had realized he actually had a daughter instead of a son he’d embraced his child wholeheartedly.

“Dad told me the other day that I’m very cute, and you know how hard that had to be.” She half-smiled at the thought before continuing.

“And he’s said we’re almost like twins, so that means if I’m cute, then you’re cute, too! So there!” She stuck out her tongue and laughed. Alicia tried to stifle a laugh but failed and began to giggle.

“I think the freckles do a great deal to bring out that Northern Italian complexion. You’re a classic.”

“Classic cry baby…”

“You’re Mom loves you…she’s just not quite there yet.”

“Easy for you to say.” Alicia snapped, but she softened her tone.

“I know. Mom …. I think she sees that old part of me as something….”

“Something that ties you to your Dad?”

“Yeah… Like maybe somehow if he ever came back…. He wouldn’t be scared away if I was still Alan? I don’t know.” Dana rubbed her back.

“I know she wants to love you and that she does want to understand. Dad was like that, but I think he understood quickly because I’m so much like Mom. You know? Not just resemble, but really a lot like her. You’re nothing….nothing at all like your Dad. You’re brave and strong and caring…. He was…” Dana paused; it’s hard to speak ill against a friend’s parent, even it is the truth.

“I know. I guess I’m like what he should have been…or was? I remind her of him, and that hurts a lot. And she’s...” Alicia turned her head in thought.

“Lonely… she’s just like anybody who’s lost someone. It was hard for Dad to accept…. I mean Mommy was never going to get better and he hoped and I hoped.” She blinked back a few tears.

“But he …we both got over it…. We leaned on each other, I guess.”

“And Mom’s leaned on me since I can remember. “

“So maybe she needs to find someone else to lean on. You know….” Dana’s eyes gleamed; an almost conspiratorial grin crossed her face, leaving no doubt where she was headed. What should have been a “Parent Trap” moment filled with giggles and smiles went a tad south as Alicia began to cry.

“Now what did I say?” Dana put her arms up in frustration.

“You and me…If they got together? Then we’d really be sisters.”

“I’d have a new Mom.” Dana smiled; she was glad but her enthusiasm was tempered with a realistic understanding that things don’t often work out as nicely as they do in the movies. And any enthusiasm Alicia might have had was dampened by the fact that she and her mother had serious man issues. As much as most of her was grounded and secure, she found herself pulling back.

“Dad isn’t anything like your Dad, Ali….” Dana half-frowned defensively.

“I know. But my Mom is exactly like she’s been all along, and if I’m afraid to hope…. I don’t think she’ll ever be ready.” She put her head down and sighed before crying again. Dana redoubled her efforts to comfort her and spoke softly.

“Well, alrighty, then!” Dana patted her best friend on the back; a gesture of encouragement as much as consolation.

“I guess Mr. Martino has to show Ms. Capulano just how trustworthy men can be, right?” Alicia looked at her sideways, almost unconvinced. Dana tilted her head and grinned; her right eyebrow arching slightly.

“Right?” Dana elbowed her playfully and Alicia smiled, blinking back her remaining tears before saying,

“Right.” Alicia forced a smile that widened a bit.

“Wait a second…. Your Dad called you cute?” Dana shrugged and answered.

“Well…. Not exactly. He did say I looked okay. That’s about as ‘cute’ as that’s gonna get.”

“Right,” Alicia said. She seemed lost in thought for a moment before finishing.

“Okay works for me.”

---

The Narcise home...

“Are you fucking serious?” Jackie Pietrowski shook his head as Kenny sat on his front porch; a freezer pack wrapped in a dishtowel placed against his still-aching head. He glared at Jackie but put his head down; an almost-shameful look crossed his face. His anger flattened out and he spoke in a hoarse whisper,

“Yes…”

“She’s a fucking guy….Are you fucking crazy?”

“Listen, Jackie….” Kenny raised his voice but it lapsed quickly back into the hoarse whisper as he pled,

“I don’t know…. You can’t ….Don’t”

“Oh fuck yeah…. I’m not about to tell anyone that my best friend is queer.”

He was about to add ‘not that there’s anything wrong with that’ but thought better of it. As hostile and ignorant as it sounded, there was at least a confused sincerity in his tone. He shook his head and Kenny frowned before continuing.

“She’s not like a guy…oh fuck…”

Kenny wasn’t one for sentimentality by any stretch of the imagination, but who can figure out what attracts any boy to any girl anyway, or even to any boy for that matter? He did something Jackie had only witnessed once in all the years he’d known Kenny. When they were ten, Kenny had gotten a beating from his Dad. Not a spanking in the truest sense, but a real beating by a soon-to-be incarcerated father that evoked reluctant but unavoidable if understandably shameful weeping that only came out after his father was put in the back of a Sussex County Sheriff’s car.

“I don’t ….” Kenny pulled his hood over his eyes and began to shake as he began to cry. Jackie didn’t know what to do at that point other than put his hand on Kenny’s shoulder.

“Girls…. Fuck em!” Jackie completely missed the irony of his statement even as Kenny started to laugh. He pulled his hood back and stared at his best friend before crying once again.

“Oh fuck!” Jackie said before half-smiling; a signal that no matter how uncomfortable and embarrassing his continued allegiance to his friend was, he would support Kenny as best as an equally awkward sixteen-year-old friend can. But he added,

“You’ve had my back since Bobby Spitalny beat the crap outta me in sixth grade.” Jackie nudged Kenny with his forearm.

“I think he’s still got a sore jaw from where you popped him. Anyway, I’m not about to walk away from you.”

“But ….” Kenny put his head down and shook it side to side slowly.

“Yeah…I know…I know! There’s gonna be a whole bunch of shit flying your way if this ever gets out.” He grinned.

“It will get out….”

“You’re gonna talk to her, aren’t you?” Jackie leaned forward and turned slightly as if he was struggling to hear Kenny.

“Yeah….I think I am.”

“Fuck!”

“Yeah….fuck…..”

---

Later that evening…

“Dad?” Dana sat on the love seat across from her father. Dave looked up from the novel he was reading.

“Yes?” Still a military-minded man, his words were usually as economical as possible. He had tried very hard to used endearments like ‘honey,’ and ‘sweetie;’ words much more suited coming from his late wife. But he and Dana both realized that just the smile in front of his intended effort to understand was enough.

“What do you think of Alicia’s mom?”

“Well, you don’t waste time with small talk, I’ll give you that.” He laughed softly; what once might have been considered a sarcastic rebuke instead showed a side of him that was emerging slowly after a combination of grief and misunderstanding was finally fading away.

“She’s a very nice woman.” Still economical, but very revealing.

“Yeah, Dad. She’d make a very nice addition to the household, don’t you think?” Dave lowered his reading glasses slightly and peered at Dana before shaking his head; a smile crossing his face.

“Yes, she would make a nice addition to the household.” Dana squinted and tilted her head in surprise.

“You’ve thought about this?”

“Why, yes I have…” He paused; almost as surprised at his words as his daughter.

“I’ve been meaning to ask her to dinner.”

“Well, there’s dinner and then there’s dinner.” Dana grinned. She had always been a bit playful even before Dave had realized Dana could be a girl’s name instead of a boy’s, so to speak.

“Dinner like in ‘Ms. Capulano, would you like to join us for dinner?” He said it with such a deadpan face that anyone but Dana would have believed him. She just laughed and held her arms out a bit and shrugged as if to say, ‘come on!’

“Why don’t you and Alicia plan on spending tomorrow night out at the movies and pizza… on me.” He reached into his wallet and pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to her. She stared at the money in her hand and grinned.

“No…” He said with a smile. She tilted her head in question and he continued.

“I never ask anyone to marry me on the first date.” Deadpan once more, but Dana bit her lower lip and looked off and down in thought. There were times when even she didn’t know when he was kidding. He laughed softly and went to walk away.

“Dad?”

“Yes?” He turned toward her and nodded for her to continue.

“You …. You really do like her? Like really like her a lot?” Dave smiled without speaking and stepped closer to her. Dana looked into his eyes and saw that peace that she hadn’t seen in quite some time; that ease that went missing for so long as both of them struggled. First with her mother’s death and then as they both came to grips with who she really was. It was comforting of course, but what he did next surprised her; perhaps even surprised him.

“Yes… “ He pulled her into an awkward hug; embraces of any kind had become out-of-place in the Martino house since her mother died. She looked into his eyes once more and saw tears. He shook his head and turned it to the side.

“Dad….it’s okay. I think Mom would want this for you.”

She touched his arm and he turned his face to her once again. His eyes widened in hopeful question; weren’t new beginnings confined to his child’s discovery and acceptance. She smile and began to weep, burying her face in his chest. He wrapped his strong arms around her and patted her back. The Martinos had just taken another step in their journey toward wholeness; a wholeness that would go beyond their home.

---

Saturday night, Dominick’s Pizza, Newton, New Jersey…

Dana and Alicia sat across from each other in a booth near the front window. The waitress had just placed their drinks on the table when two familiar figures entered the restaurant. Dana shrugged nervously as the bane of her brief existence sidled over.

“Go away…please?” Dana pled as Kenny stood next to the booth.

“I… I need to talk to you.”At the words, Dana shuddered. Alicia reached across the table and held Dana’s hand. Kenny glanced at both girls nervously before continuing.

“I mean it. Can I please talk to you?” His voice was subdued and he used one of those magic words that gain almost immediate attention when spoken by boys like him.

“What?” Dana shook her head. It was probably the first civil word he’d spoken to her.

“I…I wanted…” Jackie grew impatient and rudely nudged Kenny in the ribs with his elbow.

“I wanted to apologize.” He blurted the words out and was going to turn when Jackie steered him back to face the girls. Dana shook her head but Alicia glanced at her with a smile while patting her hand. She rose and stepped out of the booth; barely missing Kenny as she sat down next to Alicia while pointing to the empty bench. Kenny sat down. Jackie went to walk away but Kenny grabbed him and glared as if to say, ‘oh no you don’t.’

“What did you want?” Dana asked nervously. She’d been fooled way too many times over the past year by Kenny’s feigned repentance; only to be disappointed by yet one more cruel comment or joke. Kenny matched her nervous posture.

“I’m sorry.” He paused. After a few awkward seconds of silence he continued.

“I was wrong.” Perhaps the first time in his life, the words escaped his lips quickly; the thankful task completed, he went to rise, but Jackie was blocking his exit.

“Tell her.” Jackie uttered two words that seemed to cut through the tension as his sincerity validated Kenny’s attempt at being human. Dana turned her focus to Jackie and she peered at him. He looked back, realizing it was the first time either he or Kenny had acknowledged Dana’s ‘existence,’ in a way. He grinned sheepishly and nudged Kenny to continue.

“You…. I’ve decided you’re a girl.” It wasn’t how he meant to say it, but it came out in the worst possible way.

“Oh…Thank you so much, Kenny Narcise. I’m so glad you decided I’m a girl,” Dana said with an attempt at sarcasm that was tempered by the sad if brief history she shared with him.

“Oh….that’s not what I meant,” Kenny pled, demonstrating a heretofore unknown sensitivity. She looked at him and stared impatiently before turning away; red faced and embarrassed. He shook his head and turned to face Alicia. She smiled at him. A smile he could simultaneously do without and welcome wholeheartedly at the same time. She patted Dana’s arm.

“I meant I realized I was wrong about you. I… You’re a girl, okay?” The words were hurried but for the last few, which almost sounded tender; at least as tender as she was going to hear from an awkward teenage boy.

“You…You’re serious?”

“Yes.”

“Tell her why,” Jackie interjected impatiently. The exchange was interrupted as the waitress returned with a large pizza. As she placed the pizza on the table, Jackie looked longingly. Alicia noticed and nodded, prompting Jackie to grab a slice. He went to take a bite, but paused long enough to repeat,

“Tell her why….”

“I…” Kenny looked at the door nervously, anticipating the entrance of a horde of classmates eager to listen in to his confession. Steeling himself against his own embarrassment, he spoke, but not to Dana.

“I realized I… I liked you,” he said to Alicia. His face grew red and he turned his face to the wall.

“Like me?” Alicia’s complexion mirrored Kenny’s as her face got hot and very red. Dana’s face grew hot, but not from embarrassment. Never one to get angry, she nevertheless was upset and said so.

“You mean to tell me that the reason you’re sorry is because you like her?” She looked at Alicia and frowned. She grabbed Alicia’s hand and stood.

“Not funny at all, Kenny. I don’t care what you do to me, but you’re not going to hurt her too.” Kenny reached up and went to grab her hand but thought better of it. He held it out instead and spoke.

“I’m….I’m not trying to be funny, Dana. Really.” It would have seemed to Dana to be yet another ploy of his, but look Kenny’s eyes spoke otherwise. She went to step away but Alicia grabbed her hand and held fast. She sat down and faced Kenny. Jackie had finished his second slice and was reaching for a third when Kenny shook his head. Jackie grabbed Dana’s Diet Coke instead and downed it quickly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make such a big deal of it.” Dana glared once again at his words but he shook his head emphatically.

“I mean I didn’t want to make it all about me…oh fuck.” He lowered his head slightly and practically talked into his chest.

“I mean… I realized I like her….” He paused and lifted his head and looked at Alicia.

“I like you. I ….”

“So you like her.” Dana snapped defensively.

“I mean…. When I…I figured that I liked her and it….” He paused; the words seemed to be stuck. Jackie did something totally uncharacteristic for him, but Kenny’s epiphany seemed to drag him kicking and screaming in a sense into his own humanity as well.

“He figured that he liked you first…”

“Of course he liked her first! That’s what he just said.”

“Oh fuck….” Jackie’s look seemed to plead, leading Dana to nod as if to say, ‘go ahead.’

“He liked her…. not knowing …. It’s like it didn’t…oh fuck.” Jackie stammered; perhaps embarrassed for the first time in his life since Kindergarten when all the kids in class had money for a special lunch and he had none. Kenny tapped him on the shoulder, relieving him of his agonizing if entirely sincere attempt at being kind.

“You… I like you. You say you’re a girl…” He paused at Dana’s continued glare. She wasn’t trying to be mean, but his tendency to disappoint held her hostage to the past, so to speak. He smiled; earnestly enough that Dana’s expression softened and Alicia’s nervousness seemed to abate.

“You’re a girl and that’s what I have to remember.”

He paused, searching for words that would convey exactly how he felt. Feelings, while ever-present in his life, usually expressed themselves nearly all the time in sullen moods and angry outbursts; courtesy of his father’s example. The anger was being dealt with in therapy, but being emotional in any manner other than anger meant being vulnerable. Nevertheless, he was determined to be kind and nice and even….

“I liked you before I realized you really are a girl. I don’t know what that means.” Honesty on top of everything else? It was almost too much for him and it was entirely too much and just enough for Alicia as she began to cry. Kenny looked at Dana in plea as he went to speak.

“I didn’t…” She placed her hand on his; an uncharacteristic and altogether uncomfortable gesture for both of them, but entirely necessary as she spoke.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” She smiled awkwardly; getting to know the real Kenny Narcise was an adventure none of them expected to take. She patted Alicia’s wrist and the girl raised her head.

“Thank you.” Was all she could manage before she buried her face in Dana’s sleeve, sobbing. A boy in the next booth started laughing and Kenny began to stand. Jackie took a quick swig of Alicia’s drink before placing his hand on Kenny’s shoulder.

“I got this.” He laughed softly as he stood and walked around to the next booth. Placing his hands on the table, he leaned close to the boy and stared; his eyes widening in anger just enough to cause the boy to nod in tacit agreement that he risked his health and safety if he continued. Jackie smiled at him and walked back around and sat down. Somewhere between the glare at the boy and his return to the table, Jackie Pietrowski had just joined his best friend in renouncing his own status as a bully. Dana looked back and forth between the two of them before she did something entirely familiar but for a completely different reason.

“Th….thank you,” she stammered before she turned to Alicia and began to cry as well. Kenny reached across the table and patted each girl’s hand.

“I’m so sorry.” His nostrils flared just a bit and he wiped his face with his sleeve, ignoring the paper napkins on the table. In one moment his apology had given voice to all the unsaid words that each girl had longed to hear. He wasn’t sorry merely for his own insensitive and hateful ignorance, but also for the fact that the girls had and might even continue to endure that same hate from others. No longer a part of the problem, Kenny had just made a decision to be a part of the solution as well. He turned to Jackie and tilted his head a bit.

“Go ahead…” He began to whisper, but Jackie had already begun to speak.

“I’m so…sorry, too.” He seemed almost a bit overcome by the moment. The waitress came by and noticed both girls crying.

“I’m sorry, I’ll come back.” She went to turn, but Jackie got her attention with a wave, saying,

“Can I get a Chicken Parm to go?”

---

Meanwhile, at the Blue Ribbon at Culver Lake…

“You just shuddered. Are you cold?” Dave stood up and draped his jacket over Julia’s shoulders. It had grown cooler, but she spoke.

“Yes…a bit. I’m… I guess I’m not used to this much attention.” She sighed and grabbed the water glass; quickly interrupting her own words as she sipped. He nodded.

“Me, too. I’m feeling a bit….out of place.” He was about to make his old ‘I’m a military man’ excuse, but took a deep breath for courage.

“I can remember how much I cared about Greta, but I can hardly remember what it was like when we did things like this…” He used his hand in a sweeping gesture. Julia nodded.

“When Alan and I went out, it was usually with a client; I don’t even remember if we ever went out on dates much.” She lowered her head slightly in embarrassment. Dave leaned closer and lifted her chin gently.

“I’m sorry he didn’t appreciate you.” He might as well have said ‘love you,’ or any other phrase of endearment. She began to tear up.

“You deserve to be …” His voice trailed off and he sighed heavily as he felt guilty for everything her ex-husband had given her or neglected to give her. She shook her head in protest. As she went to put her head down once again he touched her cheek softly.

“You deserve to be loved.” She raised her head slightly and bit her lip with a half-frown, as if to deny any and all of what was on her heart and his. He smiled.

“Yes. You, Julia Capulano. You deserve to be loved.” He really didn’t have to go on, since the smile on his face and the tears in his own eyes spoke for him, but he continued,

“By me.” Her countenance went from embarrassed to almost ashamed to relieved to joyful in an instant, and she smiled back. Dave reached into his jacket pocket and produced a ring.

“I know this is sudden; we’ve hardly known each other for…”

“Yes? Dave?” Julia put her head down slightly once again in familiar fear. A second later she felt his presence by her side; a presence that was quickly followed by the most romantic kiss she had ever received. He paused only long enough to say,

“Yes, Julia…If you’ll have me?”

“Oh yes…yes.” She spoke even as his lips met hers again. One of the waitresses standing by the bar started to clap and in a few seconds every patron was applauding. All Julia noticed was her own soft cooing and the sweet aroma of Dave’s cologne along with the occasional ‘yes’ they both spoke.

To be Concluded