The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1026 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The next morning, I could see that Danny’s eye was a little better and he was walking less stiffly. “How’s the um–you know?” I asked, and he blushed as much as I did.

“It hurts a bit, Mummy, but I’ll live.”

“I hope it’ll teach you not to get involved in fights unless you can’t avoid them, and that is pretty rare.”

“I’m told you’re quite a good fighter, Mummy.”

“You were misinformed, I try to avoid violence at every opportunity.”

“Auntie Stella says you’ve kicked ass a few times.”

“Auntie Stella is prone to exaggerate, and I don’t care for vulgarity, Danny, especially as I have never knowingly kicked anyone’s donkey.”

“Eh?” he looked perplexed.

“Ass, is a donkey stoopid,” Billy chided the older boy.

“An ass is also another name for a fool.” I informed our growing breakfast party.

“But the Americans say ass all the time for bum.”

“They might, they live far enough away for me not to worry about their differences with the mother tongue, but you don’t.”

“It’s arse,” Billy sniggered.

“That’s the English form, but it’s still vulgar, and I don’t want to hear it. Everyone got that?” I looked around the room at the sleepy faces who were still trying to understand what I was preaching about this time. I knew they used words like that all the time in school, because they did in my day, and sometimes a lot worse. However, in trying to set some standards of home life for them, I had the job of policing them, which I knew Tom would support, Stella might on a good day, and Simon would in theory–but would forget most of the time.

We had breakfast and I collected together some cleaning things and put them in the car. “Why you doin’ that?” asked Meems.

“Doing what, sweetheart?”

“Those wags.” She pointed at the cloths I was loading in a bucket with a few cleaning sprays and polishes.

“I’m going to meet Maureen’s friend Tamsin and we’re going to give her flat a quick clean up for when she comes out of hospital.”

“I’d wike to hewp, Mummy.”

“I’d like to, too,” said Trish.

“I’ll tell Maureen that I had a whole load of volunteers, but I’m sure that we’ll manage for now, maybe next time.”

They seemed to accept that, perhaps because I’d left the door ajar rather than closing it completely. Having said that, I thought it unlikely we’d need to do it again, but on the proviso that I’d never been there before. It might be a little palace or it could be a pigsty.

After I dropped Julie off at the salon–interestingly, she said nothing about the flat–I took the girls on to school. We spoke to the headmistress and discovered there was a girl’s football team, and any of them could opt to do footie for their sports lessons. Livvie put her name down immediately for next term, and so did Meems. Trish was a bit more circumspect, but under pressure from her sisters, she agreed to put her name down for now, but she could change her mind if necessary later. I thought I would get them kicking a ball about in the garden with Leon or Simon and possibly Trish could have a chance to explore bits of boyhood she could take with her, rather than dismissing it all as unwanted rubbish.

If my love of cycling hadn’t been so great, I could quite easily have stopped doing it because it wasn’t a girly thing–but hell, there are loads of women who ride bikes at all levels, the same with football–I hadn’t pursued that one because I was useless at it, but could ride a bike a bit. Maybe, I’ll improve my football skills if the others give me some help and encouragement.

So, I could have gone overboard on girly hobbies, sewing and knitting and collecting dolls–I did some of those, I can sew a bit and enjoy cooking, but I don’t think I have too many other interests that are usually associated with women unless you include taking bikes to bits and rebuilding them. It’s a joke, so relax.

I arrived at the address Tamsin had given me, it’s not in the most salubrious part of the city, but I was reassured to see it was quite a nice old house with Maureen’s car parked outside. Tamsin, I hoped would be there and pressed the bell listed as belonging to flat 2.

I heard footsteps approaching and my mind began to create pictures of how Tamsin would appear. The voice sounded younger than Maureen’s, and I wondered how old she was along with every other possible question that could form in the seconds before the door opened.

The door drew open and behind it stood a man who was about thirty something. He had longish hair, which was tied back but was also receding at the temples–typical male pattern baldness.

“I hope I have the right place, I was expecting to meet Tamsin?” I said guardedly.

“That’s me,” said mine host, and you must be Lady Catherine?”

“It’s just Cathy.” I held out my hand, which was accepted, and then I entered the hall.

“I can’t believe that Maureen knows someone as beautiful as you, Lady C.”

“Sorry?”

“I said, I can’t believe...”

“I heard that, but I don’t understand why you said it.” Oops; how to make friends and influence people, this ain’t.

“Sorry, but people like us don’t usually move in such high circles or get to know such beautiful women as yourself.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and on a physical level is very superficial, seeing as most of it is as much a matter of luck as anything else, it’s hardly a priority in anything other than a sexist society.”

“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that–I’m sorry, I’m making it worse aren’t I?”

“They do say when in a hole, stop digging.”

“What I meant to say, is, you’re a very beautiful woman, and I’m jealous that Maureen has you as her friend.”

“I still don’t know what you mean, unless you’re saying you fancy me–in which case, I’d better go now. I’m happily married with six children.”

“Six kids, blimey–you don’t look old enough.”

“Appearances can be deceptive,” but not in the way you’re thinking, buster.

“Can we start again? I’m Tamsin, I’m pleased to meet you, and yes I do think you are very beautiful but I don’t have any ulterior motives–I mean my intentions are honourable.”

“I thought we were here to give Maureen’s place a lick and a polish?”

“Yes, follow me.” I followed the tee shirt and jeans clad individual up a flight of stairs. As I watched his bum wiggling a bit too exaggeratedly for a man, I noticed he was wearing girl’s jeans with embroidered back pockets. I also couldn’t decide whether he was gay, or transgendered–not that it really mattered.

“How about a nice cuppa before we start?” He led me into a small but very cosy flat which was immaculate. Of course, Maureen was ex Royal Navy, they are taught to be tidy because there isn’t much room on a ship.

I seated myself at the small dining table and waited for the tea.