So, in exploring the implications of the recent Transgender Activism here in Portland, Oregon, I met some very nice people. Somewhere I heard something about the high incidence of Transgender among Aspergers folk and I am trying to explore whether that assertion has any veracity at all.

One of the things I do to make up for a relatively low IQ is that I read and research intensely, thus giving the illusion of intelligence, or as my shrink said, "It's how you use what you have".

Life seems to be overwhelming me at the moment. I seem to be perpetually tired so I'm not writing as much as usual and when I do, I have problems posting because my broadband connection is very intermittent. I've tried contacting my ISP but they either don't get the emails or ignore them.

On Tuesday, it will be the 29th anniversary of my transitioning - well going to work in skirts, then the following one is the first anniversary of my son's suicide. His timing was impeccable.

I am not one of those people who thinks that "big boys/girls dont cry".

In fact, I think there some times when crying is exactly what you should be doing, and that crying can be good for you.

That said, I prefer to have a reason to cry, so what happened on my way to work last night was frustrating.

Out of the blue, for no reason I could figure, I was suddenly enveloped by grief, and it was all I could do to keep my car on the road until the feeling passed.

Ah, well.

On this day in history ...

Lyndon Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act

the first Zeppelin flew

And ...

I was born!

Those in Salt Lake City are under a lot of heat right now.

Someone from "Mormon Newsroom" openly admitted that the church has not treated trans and intersex folk well, and I intend to keep the heat on. I'm not vitally interested in how they handle gays and lesbians because they threw us under the bus a few years ago.

In another decade there will be a changing of the guard, and I see T and I folk getting full rights. There are just lots of parents and partners keeping their heads down but in private they are dissatisfied.

This is for those who can appreciate my devious nature.

So for a long time I have been juggling two theological balls and none of you have realized what my intentions were. I practice as a Muslim and a Mormon and am fairly sincere in my beliefs in both faiths. If you don't understand this, don't worry about it.

Someone told me that 80% of us who transition regret it, and many return to their old gender. I think this is a lie and am only asking this because of their professed religiosity. I am actually quite happy living as me, the only issue being that I do not look as much of a babe as I would like. And, of course, as usual, the family are consummate asses, but they can bugger off.

I have never seen or spoken to anyone who has done this, though I have read about a couple and their suicide rate was very high.

Coming to PBS this coming Tuesday a Transgendered Story from New England Area, Check story at following address: http://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/stuck-boys-body-10...

Richard

I'm half way through writing the next episode of Bike when I suddenly realise I hadn't heard the central heating/hot water boiler light up. It's old and noisy. On checking I find it isn't working. Up in the attic to make sure the header tank hasn't run dry - it hadn't. Looks like the boiler may have died of old age. After swearing at the cats because they wanted to see what was going on but know even less about boilers than I do - which is minuscule - I try the immersion heater, which I kept despite the assurances of the plumber I wouldn't need it.

I got to spend Father's day with my daughter for a few hours today, and as a gift she gave me a little figurine. Its an elephant dressed as an angel, with a pink robe, pink trimmed wings, a halo, and a pink heart as a shield.

Does my daughter get me, or what?

Ok, since its been a rough week, lets start the weekend with a smile, as I present ...

Dorothy's 5 star blanket fort!

Yes, this blanket fort has everything for those occasiions when you need a break from the world. Its got soft blankets (in your choice of colors), several stuffed animals to cuddle , a pillow to rest on, and a compartment full of your favorite comfort foods/treats.

So next time, you need to get away, chose Dorothy's 5 star blanket fort!

And now back to your regular program ...

Okay, this is gonna be a bit tough, but I think I need to share this.

I figured out why I've been struggling so much with the PTSD the last while.

As always happens, there were a bunch of factors that contributed to it.

First, I was fighting a bit of a cold, and there's nothing like being under the weather to weaken the defences psychologically.

2nd, I had a depressive episode, which also weakened my defences.

3rd, I happened to read about a sexual assault in the news that really hit me hard.

I read Persephone's poem 'Pegasus has Landed' and began to think about the imagery and subsequent self-imagery it represents.
The arrival of the winged horse well conveys Persephone's path of transition and her feelings about it. The freedom and beauty that equine flight has brought to Persephone's life is well described therein.

Naturally I fell to wondering how my life has panned out and how it will progress from now to the end.

Not exactly. I'm tired of being defeated. It's not my personality. I don't expect life to give me anything I don't earn and I don't expect things to come easy. A few years ago I tried to start blogging to hold me accountable for weight loss, no one cared, things happened. and I quit posting. In three years I've gained a hundred pounds and am about fed up with the way I'm living, but accountability is crucial for a person like me. Just ask people, I live to toot my own horn and get a pat on the back (which is pretty much everyone else in the world to some degree).

I suck.

Just wanted to thank Brianna Eketta for her silly little blog. It brought out the giggles in me, and I needed it.

Huggles, Brianna!

This morning my wife slipped in the kitchen and fell, bruising her right shoulder. She doesn't deal with pain well. It took a bit to get her off the floor and onto the couch so I could check her over for serious injuries. Thankfully, there were none,but she didn't feel like moving around, so I let her rest while I cleaned the kitchen of the cereal and broken dishes she had been carrying. An hour later she informed me that she thought she should stay home from church because it hurt to much to lift her arm to put on her make-up. As I said she doesn't deal with pain to well.

http://www.dallasnews.com/news/local-news/20150604-what-cait...

An interesting surprise waiting for me at the Resource Center when I arrived for my volunteer work. Since I had decided I'm not stealth it was no problem letting them use my picture.

I've heard some rumbling about the use of the drug Trazodone causing Dementia or even Alzheimer's disease and am exploring that issue now. I've tried to get off the drug and have only managed a reduced dosage. I do not wish to spend my last days in a stupor. So, if you take that sleep aid, perhaps you'd wish to speak to your GP?

Someone mentioned to me that I used to write prolifically. I've not written large stories since around 2011 and despite starting several, have not managed to finish any, except for short stories that were written in a day or two.

you know, when I first went for help about my abuse, I really didn't expect much. I hoped I would figure out if there was a connection between my abuse and my gender issues, and maybe I'd learn how to cope a little better, but that was all. Same thing was true when I first started thinking about transition - I fully expected that I'd hit a brick wall, and have to settle for being Dorothy online only.

I've been on Estrogen for 12 years now. I might stop taking it for personal reasons. I know that Osteoporosis is one of the risks, but are there others? After this long, I will not lose my breasts. I doubt that my disposition will change much, though I plan to continue living as a woman.

Gwen

I had an experiance at work last night that I want to share, but I'm struggling to find the right words.

So bear with me ...

It started with me struggling with my PTSD before work. I was already shaky and not doing well by the time I had to go to work, and the awful feeling continued to build as my shift went on. Finally, frustrated, I asked myself "Just what am I feeling?"

The answer came back "Grief. Grief for what was lost."

Finally, in desperation, I decided to simply let myself grieve for a bit for what was taken from me.

I have a story to tell, and an encouragement to make to all those who read this little blog.

First, the story.

Well, its been an interesting week for trans people here in Edmonton, as the news has been full of stories about a young trans girl who was being denied the right to use the girl's washrooms at school. Since the school is run by the Catholic church, who aren't big fans of us, it seemed that they were going to force the girl's parents to take them to the Human Rights court, a process that would take years. But one of the trustees for the school district spoke out against the policy, and now the school has backed down, meaning the girl will be allowed to use the girl's washrooms.