OK, no drama here, no one gets excited. OK?
Probably like many of you, the events of the last couple weeks have made sadness seem ... common? With my Middle Eastern background, it feels impossible to hate. It is painful to be unable to resolve this. Yes, I know, life's a bitch and then you die, right?
Like most of us, there will be no partner to share the remainder of my life, and the doctor recently told me that I am likely to live another 32 years. What the hell? I so wanted to be a wife.
I know the idea of any sort of religion or belief is repulsive to some of you, and I understand perfectly. So I am just asking for your kind thoughts. Being a very stubborn idealist and an INFP to boot, most of the pain I feel and the tears I shed may simply be more due to my own intransigence than anything.
I know this is a lot of big talk from a girl that can't bear to be seen in a bikini. Yeah, I know, grow up, right? I tried to do overseas relief work and missionary outreach, but miserably crashed. Not because I was a sanctimonious zealot, but that I just wanted to ease some of the pain in the world. Don't try to redefine or negate what I feel please? I love others and hate that they suffer.
Promise, no drama or suicide. Just your good thoughts please?
Gwen
Comments
Maybe sadness is the most enlightened response
I hope that this won't just make you feel worse, but:
I also feel pretty sad when I look at what's going on in the worldl (I think that's what your first paragraph alludes to.) The events in Paris are just the latest round of people "resolving" their hurts by hurting somebody else ten times as much. You know, "an eye for an eye and we are all blind." I won't look at the news any more, because it all feels like drums beating for hate and violence and bloody, bloody revenge. "How many deaths will it take til we know that too many people have died?" Evidently even more.
The older I get, the less hope I have that I can do anything to influence this. It's not that religion (per se) is repulsive to me, though there are plenty of "religious" folk who are. I wish I could believe that there's some omnipotent power that is gently guiding us to good. But it feels like our world is more like the train in Dürrenmatt's "The Tunnel."
All I have left, all the religion I have left, is this: what matters is how we treat one another. Or, in other words: be kind.
I'd pray for you, if I still (or is it ever?) knew how. So instead I'll send what I can: kind thoughts. And a kitten gif:
In times of trouble…
… it is best to turn off the media directed by those who thrive on the fear and hatred of others. Look to the people around you Gwen and take comfort that they like I wish nothing but the best to you and those you love.
Rhona McCloud
my best thoughts and prayers and hugs for you, hon
warmest huggles.
A little help
You have my best thoughts. That may be as close to true prayer as I can honestly come these days.
Here is a thought that may help you. I try to live by the adage of performing at least one act of random kindness each day preferably to a total stranger. I feel it does me as much good as it does them. Hopefully, they will pass it on.
Waterdog