On the one hand (and the more important one at that,) it's GREAT to have a job again, and I'm making more per hour than I've ever made before, with semi-stable hours to boot.

On the other....

I'm completely, utterly thrashed at the moment. As mentally ready as I was to get back to work, my body is definitely feeling it, especially after two six-day-in-a-row sessions virtually back to back. I'm sore, and I'm exhausted to the point that writing has been the last thing on my mind: heck, some days I've barely gotten out of my bed until time to go to work.

I am not sure, but I think I may be losing my mind.

now before you get yourselves upset by that statement, let me explain, as best I can.

See, for the last couple of months, every once in a while I have had a sensation that either means I'm becoming delusional because I read too many comic books, or a sign that something very weird is happening to me.

A letter to a supervisor in the pharmacy at Walmart. I have to write a similar one about a Gulf gas station employee soon.

Dear Sir,

I had an unfortunate encounter with a pharmacist named *snip* at 5:15PM, Sunday, 5/31/2015. I left very distressed and upset.

I am a transgendered person. 31% of untreated transgender people successfully commit suicide before seeking help, and of those who try to address the issue 42% will attempt suicide at a later date. We are a very vulnerable population.

Thanks to my dear sister of the heart, Cathy most everyone knows I had open heart surgery last week. To make a long story short, I recognized the symtoms and got help. Everything went well, and now I'm recovering. To make that easier I now have a new recliner and bed. Unfortunately, the old stuff went into my office where I can't reach anything except for my old laptop. Even that is too heavy for me to move given my post surgery restrictions.

So I'm not going to online much until we can solve this particular problem.

I was trawling through my hard drive this evening (yes… I know… utterly boring… until I reread what I had written).

Just over four years ago I started my journey to acceptance and transition. Rereading what I wrote then made me think… it might be useful to someone on the path. So here it is.

An Epiphany on the Journey – 13th October 2011

Two pieces of good news from Canada!

First, Parlament passes a bill to protect trans people:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/commons-approves-transgender-r...

Second, the Canadian Football league now has its first openly gay player:

http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Michael+first+openly+draft...

So, I was listening to a podcast from the new NPR series, "Invisibilia" and on one episode they describe a condition which causes a the sufferer to mentally switch genders at whim. They even interview a Trans person who initially suffers from it and they are repulsed by the body in the mirror after a shower to the point of nausea, because it did not match who they are mentally at that time.

They actually start to transition to make themselves more androgynous, only to find their switch stops flipping and they seem 'Locked' into their new gender and finish the transition.

Crazy times have been had the last few weeks, but I am now employed again!

I'm back at Wal Mart, though this time in Mountain View rather than Heber Springs. The upshot is that it's less than 5 minutes' drive or 15 or so walking away from my aunt's, where I'm now staying, so gas costs are no longer an issue at all. I'll also be making more an hour than I ever have before, AND working a relatively stable schedule since I'm an "IMS Associate," from 10 PM to 7 AM.

So, yayness! Money! Progress! WOOO!

Melanie E.

Sweet flying spaghetti monster, I thought I'd never have to deal with this again. Especially not from one of our own.

As I was making my way home from my monthly transgender support group meeting, I ended up behind someone obviously transgender herself--someone vaguely familiar.

It turns out she lives in the same apartment complex I do. After years of being the only transgender tenant, apparently I have company.

I finally did it. I acquired pure capsaicin crystals. And I then tried them. Not straight mind you. You can actually put all the pure capsaicin crystals you want in your mouth. They're not water soluble and require a fat or oil to dissolve so saliva won't work. The stuff came with a tiny bottle of glycerine which I did mix them into and try.

Not as hot as I thought it would be. The previous highest scoville unit thing I had was this 4.4 million sauce. The 16 mil is hotter, but it doesn't seem by much.

As those of you who engage in the Great Waste Of Time known as Facebook may already be aware, today marks my completion of another lap around the sun - not that I feel any different to yesterday or appreciably older. Just an ordinary day at work attempting to make sense of a pile of social care data, hoping to massage it into shape by the end of the week ready for the annual government return.

I just got a phone call from my church. They would like to use my "Dear God" poem in a newspaper they hand out around downtown Edmonton, or possibly something original, if I can do it in the next couple of days.

Needless to say, I'm honored ...

So I recently got the chance to meet Maria Bellow during the book tour for her new book "WHATEVER... Love is Love" and thought I'd share my experience. I just recently posted it to my rarely-updated WordPress blog.

-Piper

Well, today I wanted to share a dream I had during my move.

In the dream, at first I found myself in a classroom, and a drill instructer of a teacher was making a boy parade in front of the class because he had come to school previously in ripped pants. We were to sacastically applaud the fact that today he had chosen to wear pants without a rip in them.

Then I looked down at myself, and at first I thought I was wearing red pajamas, so I thought I would be next to be humilated, but the instructor ignored me, and instead clapped his hands together.

I have a wretched head cold and feel like death warmed up. I'm therefore having an early night and will hopefully feel a bit better tomorrow.

Well, according to my account feature, I've been here for "5 years 12 months", so I guess its happy anniversary to me?

I am very grateful I found this place. Its given me a chance to read good stories by great authors, to try my hand at writing myself, and to make some wonderful friends who I cherish.

My thanks to Erin, Piper, and all those who work behind the scenes to keep this place going.

I haven't been very active on the site the last couple of weeks, but I promise, there's good reasons!

Well, once again my anxiety was far greater than a situation required.

My landlord not only didn't comment on the name on my lease, he came down and helped me set up my mom's computer for her.

I continue to be amazed at the forbarance, tolerance, and grace I have received in this journey ...

Is anyone here a "spoonie" or afflicted with things such as fibromyalgia or other conditions that cause chronic pain? I'm going to be seeing a pain management doctor soon, and I'm wondering what to expect.

Those of you who don't know what the "spoon theory" is, here is a link www.butyoudontlooksick.com/category/the-spoon-theory

Okay, enough doom and gloom, time for something fun!

Dorothy Bellion presents ... Why Hollywood should make a movie of my life!

1: Hollywood loves Bio-pics - It's true. Some of the biggest movies in the last few years have been true stories about real people. So why not me?

2: Hollywood also loves underdog stories - People cant seem to get enough tales of people overcoming handicaps or tragedy to succeed, and my life has had a few tough moments, so I'm perfect for the movies!

I will be the first to admit that I have a lot of pent up anger and hate. I have had a lifetime of resentment. Most people don't know the things that have happened to me, and I'm sure most, if not all, of you don't really care. Anger and hatred are quite valuable tools. They insulate you from a harsh and brutal world that seeks nothing more that to destroy you. It gives you the strength and resolve to soldier on through the quagmire that is everyday life.

Life can go on, I am back online

I know. It's been a VERY long time since I've logged in here. I've been reading stories as and when I can, but my internet hasn't and still isn't particularly reliable. For about a year there I couldn't get my laptop to go on the internet at all, and my phone screen is just way too small to view this site well.

just a quick note to say my internet is now disconnected until after the move. Be safe, everybody