Autobiographical

Pain and agony

The infection is back and it's in full swing. My foot is swollen again all the way up to the calf muscle. I am in so much pain I cannot sleep. The doctor gave me pain pills. While they make my head all foggy and interfere with my ability to write, they do nothing for the actual pain. The doctor I have doesn't listen to a word I say, nor does she allow me to actually express everything that's on my mind as she hurriedly tries to shoo me out the door. I have obamacare, which let me go to one doctor which is a free clinic. Don't know what I'm paying monthly into.

Blog About: 

Author: 

I can breath, and I can sleep

Breathing is great. I can breath through my nose now that I've had my deviated septum fixed.

Being able to breath is wonderful.

Since the stents were removed last Thursday, each night I've gotten a full 8 hours or more sleep.

Sleep is wonderful.

I've already made progress on my writing. A few chapters have made it into rough draft. No more defaulting to sleep when I try to write.

So excited now.

Blog About: 

Author: 

If you're the praying type ...

If you're the praying type, I could use some good vibes right now

My mom had to get a rental car while her car is being repaired, which is putting a serous strain on our already tight budget. I'm starting to think I cant afford to get a passport, which means no consult, no SRS, its going to be over for me.

It feels like as soon as something positive happens, something comes along to take it away, and I feel like a rat who navigated the maze only to find out the cheese was plastic ...

I'm so tired .... so very, very tired ...

I need a miracle ...

Blog About: 

Author: 

Tutoring ESL Students

I am sat here thinking that I have gotten us in to a right mess Ollie. So, a few years ago, I helped a rather nice Saudi gentleman to improve his English to come to America to attend College. He is in Southern Oregon attending College now. Recently another Man contacted me about the same and we have been working on him for a while.

Blog About: 

Author: 

Been a tough couple of days here.

Had to take my daughter to a Medi-center today, and apparently she has the same low-iron issues her mother has.

They want her to start taking a proscription-strength iron supplement and add more iron-rich foods to her diet.

Sighs ...

Between this, my mom's accident (She got hit by a drunk driver last night. She's okay, but the car's badly damaged) and stressing over my lecture, my spoon supply is getting dangerously low ...

Blog About: 

Author: 

not better

I went through a round of antibiotics, but I think I still have the infection in me. Lately I have been very nauseous and been going to the bathroom often. I am extremely tired and achy and have little energy to do anything. I have a doctor's appointment on Wed. and hopefully we can figure it out. I don't have much faith since this is the doctor that missed the fact that I had an infection in the first place.

Blog About: 

Author: 

weird few days

I have had a lot of ups and downs the past few days. Unfortunately I've been suffering from major dehydration and had dance classes on Thursday and Friday. I also had to attend a dinner and dance last night so I've been resting and trying to keep myself hydrated when not doing those two things. It hasn't left any time to finish the chapter of Twice Removed, since I've been sleeping a lot.

Blog About: 

Author: 

huge, unbelievable news!

Well, I have some amazing news to share.

I got a call from Dr. Meltzer in Scotsdale, Arizona about me coming in for an evaluation about having SRS. Assuming I can get my act together and get a passport, I will be there March 25, 1100 A.M., and then we'll have to see what they have to say.

I am actually shaking and crying, I'm so happy ...

Blog About: 

Author: 

So here I am

It's 3 am and I'm at my friends house spending the night. My friends mother will take me in just under 4 hours to the hospital where I'm going to have surgery on my deviated septum. Normally this is outpatient, but I get to spend the night.

Why am I up this early and not sleeping?

Partly due to the anxiety I always get with these things, and partly because I couldn't breath and woke up some congestion an hour ago.

Blog About: 

Author: 

Pray for my family

Folks, if you're the praying kind, please include my family in your prayers.

Sharon's condition has gotten so bad she's been told she will be off work for at least 3 months, possibly longer if they cant get her surgery before that time.

To say that's going to make things stressful in a number of areas isn't putting too fine a point on it ...

Blog About: 

Author: 

Why?

Why?

I know I have it better than most.

I'm not starving. I'm not on the verge of being homeless, at least, not any mor so than any other poverty-level individual in our current economy. I'm not under any particularly large amount of stress at the moment.

So why do I still feel so worthless?

I've been trying, I really have. Trying to dedicate myself to self improvement, or to projects I've committed myself to, but... I just....

Blog About: 

Author: 

So...

I am truly sorry I haven't been around or contributing tales. You know all those people who say they have no life? Well...the miserable curs gave them all to me!!! With so many family obligations and my work, I barely and rarely have time to even write a sentence or two. Sometimes, when it's slow and I have two or three minutes to myself, or I'm having yet another sleepless night, I do manage to take a peek at some of the tales being posted.

Blog About: 

Author: 

Hurt so much!

I've seen others here write a blog like this but thought I would not any more after the murderous times of 2004-6.

So, in the last two weeks my oldest daughter, who I had not talked to in almost 10 years, said she could not get her mind around who I have become. My oldest son did that several months ago, and I never expect to hear from my youngest daughter.

It is so sad that we struggle as "manfully" as we can until our strength fails, and then those that we have poured our love into turn their backs on us, never realizing the sacrifices we made for them.

Blog About: 

Author: 

a big thank you

Just wanted to give a big thank you to the good people who were on the chat site yesterday, as well as all those who sent me good wishes on Facebook.

My depression has lifted, and I feel much better, and I believe its in part because I had people to talk to through it ...

So my thanks to Erica, Talia, Wendy, Jaci, Bailey, Diana, Debbie, Terry, Dallas, Lisa, and my brother Mike, who talked to me by phone.

Huggles to all!

Blog About: 

Author: 

an update

I'm sorry I haven't been giving any updates recently. It just feels like I'm pretty much stuck in a rut - I go to work, I sleep, I go to church, I sleep again ...

But here goes.

My grief over losing Kylie is slightly better, I guess. I almost feel guilty about that ...

I got the green light to do a talk on trans 101 for my church, and I'm super nervous about it. Honestly, I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew with this ...

Blog About: 

Author: 

Made it home

I made it home. That might not have been in my best interest but it was the only option I had left open to me. I had to work, even though I am in no shape to work. It was foolish and dangerous and I'm glad no one got killed.

The leg is still infected and swollen. It looks a little better but that's not saying a lot. It's not as red, but it still hurts like hell. Ever play dig dug? When he puts the pump into a monster. Picture that happening to my left foot. To think I was upset when I couldn't find shoes before.

Caution: 

Blog About: 

Author: 

Birthday Girl

Carla Bay, Namely (Roo) Turns Sixty nine today.
It really has been Carla's Journey in real life the last couple of years, I have been to busy to write any more chapters of Carla's Journey but will start writing again soon.
Hugs to all my friends on Big Closet :)

Blog About: 

Author: 

Insane Hysterical Rant

So, I finally got moved into my palace in the sky (4th floor) down by the river. Everything was going fairly smoothly until I started dealing with our Government. Social Security was actually not too bad if one can accept the hour and a half of divining their secrets of joining on line. Wow, talk about secret squirrel !

Blog About: 

Author: 

84 Months In Default

That's where my student loans are sitting right now, with a total value of 3,184 dollars and a handful of cents. On the plus side, this is down from the near 10k I owed previously. On the downside, after having spent the day calling the various offices and figuring out what, if any, help I could get, the general consensus is that after so long they have little in the way of leniency for my debt, so forgiveness and/or lowered values are pretty much off the table.

Blog About: 

Author: 

I'm Back -- Network help needed.

We spent a week without internet. My DSL went down Thursday the 12th. That happens now and then and they are usually pretty good about getting it back up. However, it was still out Friday after work. I suppose I should have called right then, but we had things to do and would be out 'til late, then Saturday there was this family outing. Long story short, I didn't make the call until Monday. I was told they could get a tech out Thursday morning. Thursday evening and no tech.

Blog About: 

Author: 

Gone to the Dark Side

Wish me luck please, Cathy, Bev, and Beth and anyone else who's listening. Tomorrow morning I am moving to a place that has nursing care available should I need it. AND, it will be $250/Mo cheaper than where I am now. Hopefully, this will enable me to resume writing and have a bit of peace.

Pulling the plug now on SKYPE and will perhaps be back on line by Friday?

Much peace

Gwen

Blog About: 

Author: 

Wonderful Authors

We have so of the must wonderful Author ever . I send P M's to the authors about the stories and always get a response and a big heart felt thank you from them . First that I take the time to thank them for the time and effort to write & post and second they our honored that I take the time to read the stories they work so hard writing.
I just sent Mary Beth Sanford a thank you for posting stories . I had sent her a email on her personal email account and was so excited that she read my email and listened to me about posting here at BCTS .

Blog About: 

Author: 

I got the green light for giving a lecture at my church

Well, I got the green light from my church to prepare a lecture on being trans. It was suggested that I make it a mix of facts and my own personal experience. So ... any suggestions, ideas, or resources you guys know about that will help me do this?

Blog About: 

Author: 

Hoaxes

Yesterday we found out that Joan rivers died and then someone put out on twitter that Betty White died with turned out to be a very poor hoax . I saw the headline on Facebook and then read further into the story and found out she is alive and well.
Just proves you can't believe all you read on F B .
I almost got caught with this lie

Blog About: 

Author: 

Good vibes/Prayers etc needed!

I've been trying to obtain a Mirena IUD since my son was born 10 months ago. It's a long complicated story, but I was told it is finally shipping to my doctors office today. I was also told once before that it was shipped by a different company. I have severe endometriosis which is why I desperately need it.

I'm in pain from it every day, but it's worse at that time of the month,it's so bad I sometimes can't walk, plus I'm normally exhausted for at least two days during that time

Blog About: 

Author: 

Alone again - naturally

It's been a long time coming, but I've decided to end the relationship with my FtM boyfriend Felix. It started out well, but it is going nowhere and I figure why waste the next couple of years being polite. He will always say what I want to hear and do whatever the hell he pleases anyway. I am constantly frustrated in my own house and I don't want to live that way. I am tired of being annoyed, tired of living in filth, and tired in general. I think this is for the best. I am also thinking of putting my house for sale and moving from the state.

Blog About: 

Author: 

Very Sad Day

VERY SAD DAY TODAY . I had to put my best buddy HERSHEY to rest today . He has had Cushing Disease for the last 2 years and the last 2 days he crashed we took him to the Vet and found out he lost 17 pounds in 6 weeks . He no longer had a good quality of life . I had him from 10 weeks old found him at the Humane Society fell in love at first site to a little black Lab/Pit Bull/plus a few other thing mixed in a heart of gold. Long live the Memory of HERSHEY . :-( BIG TEARS - BROKEN HEART .

Blog About: 

Author: 

Pages

Subscribe to Autobiographical