There was an interesting article in a local paper yesterday about a woman who had lost her hair due to an autoimmune disease, and for the last 3 years refused to be seen in public without a wig, until she finally decided to "come out of the hair closet" by letting herself be photographed without it.

In some ways, my transition has been like her story - years of hiding and self-hate, then coming out and discovering just a big a relief it is to be honest, and then finding out that most people ignore me, some accept me, and some love me regardless.

A large number of huggles have escaped their containment units, and may be headed this way! Remember, if a huggle approaches you, the best response is to just let it give you a huggle. This will cause it to dissipate. If you resist, well, who knows what will happen ...

Well, I found out the source of my panic attack before going into a shower.

We had an interesting sermon in church today.

This has been a painful year so far

Questions at the end, but have fun reading through this.

My weeks been a rollercoaster of thrills and feels.

So, we had a few nasty thunderstorms recently. Well 3 days ago me and my dad where sitting on the couch debating politics when our house is struc by lightening. The lights went crazy and it was really loud when it struck. I nearly peed my pants and jumped up from the couch and ran out onto the front porch :3. Well everything is on surge protectors except for one thing.... the magical internet box( the router) so it got fried and I was without internet for like 3 days, it was terrible!

I last wrote two years ago about my quest for my ex partner to pay maintenance for our daughter, who lives solely with me. In the past two years several calls have been made to the Child Support Agency but the situation remains the same. Today's call confirmed that there are no employment/tax records nor current benefits claims, so she has no liability to pay until one of these conditions is met.

A few days ago I posted a blog. It is probably similar to several blogs that I have posted over the past few years where I struggle to see where I fit in with everything.

It's 28 years ago today that I officially started my transition and went into work in a grey two piece. In some ways it feels much less than that and in others, it seems centuries ago. During that time I've lost some good friends and also my mother and my aunt, who were both supportive of my decision.

The few people who follow me and care no that for the longest time I have struggled with where my body of work falls in the large scope of things. I have often felt on an island, alone (or with few others around doing the same thing). For some reason, I thrive on being defined in a group because I think that gives me direction and parameters to work under. It could also give me sources where I could see what worked for others and what hasn't.

Woah! It's been just over a year since I made my last entry. I'm back to writing TG fiction (kind of). I posted the final episode of Charlie Volume One a couple weeks back. It was waaaaaay over due, a year in fact, so I sincerely apologise to those who were waiting for the conclusion. Thank you for the emails and such. It's nice to know some still care about my writing. I'd be lying if I said I was currently writing Volume 2 but I've literally only written a couple sentences. There's a wall in the way.

I would like all my friends to know that 41 years ago today I married my bride TRISSA at the age of 19 . We have 2 boys that we are very proud of and 41 years married only 9 more for the GOLD

Well, just found out why I have been feeling so awful for a couple years. I have a type of Diabetes that does not respond to Insulin.

So yeah, since my last blog about how much things suck right now things haven't gotten much better. Since then things have been crap-tastic. We're still barely scraping by and being off my meds is bad enough without the extra stress of our living situation right now. I also had a bit of a medical scare. It turned out to be nothing, but it scared the living crap out of me So my mind and moods have been all over the place and not conductive to writing at all.

The other morning, the 5th of July, I was driving on my paper route and all of a sudden I heard scraping from under my car. At first I thought I ran over a garbage can lid. I got out of my car and some drunk guy starts yelling at me that I ran over his dog. I didn't see the dog then, I didn't even see the dog when I ran over it. I couldn't tell you if it was laying in the middle of the road when I ran over it or if it darted under my car.

I am really struggling with inexplicable anger right now. Honestly, I feel like breaking something, throwing something across the room and then stomping on it.

The answer is of course obvious. Great people.

Well, as my birthday wound down yesterday, my mother surprised me with a beautiful card for a daughter's birthday.

Hi everyone, I'm sorry for not writing or blogging. I thought yalls could do with out my constant (insert desired adjective). Well its been almost two years and I still have failed to secure a job, move out of the area I am in and worst of all I failed to live as myself full time. I still feel I am to weak to survive on my own and I have no family or friends that could help me out on this manner. Anyways I was wondering if my last job was blackballing me somehow. I mean I have had a few interviews and after that I hear nothing from the companies I have applied too.

Today, I saw a huge cotton plaid shirt lying on my bed, and it was obvious that it was a garment that belonged to a huge man. Was he the one in my dreams that pinned me to my bed and made me scream with delight?

It is quite nice having a make believe husband, because I can sneakily take his shirt and go out, letting other women believe that I have stolen my husband's garment.

And, when he comes to me in my dreams again, I shall conceal the fact from him that I have his shirt hidden under one of my dresses in the closet.

So, I'm at the doctors office again for another round of tests. My insurance won't even copay unless I have like a million referrals from every kind of doctor imaginable. I even had to see a neuroligist,I've alreqdy seen 5 therapists and specialists., -_-... actualy I hate insurance companies they are really annoying. And theyr only gonna co pay like 5%.

Well, I am moved beyond words.

At church yesterday, one of the ladies gave me a beautiful jewelry box with a set of earrings in each drawer.

I actually cried ...

My wife died last night in the Wesley Hospital in Brisbane, Australia. Her passing was as peaceful as could be expected after nearly two years of suffering with cancers of the liver, breast and adrenal gland. She had three sessions of chemo and two of radiation treatment, which undoubtedly prolonged her life but at considerable physical and mental cost. These are cruel diseases and it is a terrible thing to see someone gradually decline before your eyes.