With just one week left to go before we move out of our house for good and across La Manche to France - also for good - it's hard to believe it's really happening.

for the moment.

There are five people who log on to Big Closet each using their own account who go through our business internet.

I am one of them.

For those that saw it, sorry about the cache glitch. We are constantly trying to tune, and improve performance of the site, and sometimes we break things as we go.... In this case, the cache layer, decided to break something.

-HuGgLeS-
-Piper

Well, thanks to Jaci being a big tattle-tale and telling you guys I was feeling grumpy, I got flooded with people ready to cheer me up.

Sniffle, I love you guys ....

Interesting that I can't access this site from AOL; however, it comes up instantly on IE. I am certainly glad that there are several options available.

Portia

She is feeling a little down because a cashier made an obvious error and called her Sir.

We hope you have noticed that things are slowly getting better as we tune the server for better performance but sometimes we blow a sour note like this morning. And the server is still a bit flakey which we are still working on figuring that out.

But we have ordered the new drives, they should be in tomorrow and so it's likely that later this week the site will be down for as much as a whole day while we install the new drives and then move the software over. And then there will be another round of tuning things to get optimum performance.

Just thought I'd drop in and let you know that health issues are still problematic. They are fading, but they are still there. And then there is the kidney stone I passed last night. So yeah... I have had a few distractions of late. I'm even running out of buffer in the Potter fic because of being unable to write for the last two weeks. Lots of fun going on here.

So, I'm still kicking, I am writing some, working on things never fear. And I hope you all are doing fine.

well, my cluster headaches have returned. See, just before I started transitioning, I started getting these mysterious pains in my face, centered on just below my right eye. Eventually they found out that they were "cluster headaches", sort of like migraines but different spot, and that they were stress-related.

They went away when I started my transition, probably because I took a serious part of my stress off my plate by living authentically, but I guess it was too much to hope for that they wouldn't ever come back.

Ah, well

I am in an interesting place. One where I have two separate and distinct groups constantly miffed at me.

As my life seems to be heading in a positive direction, I face a strange fear - a fear of success. I think its basically, that any situation you're in, if you're in it long enough, starts to feel like "home", and leaving "home" becomes scary, even if "home" is something horrible. So the idea of actually being a successful adult is kinda scary for me.

well, last night, I was being left in charge of "zoning", which basically means making sure the shelves are clean, neat, and that the product is as close to the lip as possible. While this was going on, my supervisor told me that the reason why she was pushing me hard on getting it perfect was because she believes I have the potential to move up into a supervisor's role, should I wish to make that a goal. So I told her my long term plan would include me doing a less physical job, and she said she would talk to people and see about getting the ball rolling for me toward that end.

I looked at my account and its past 12k kudos. I can only thank those who have been nice enough to read my stories and say that they like them. It means quite a bit to someone who just started to write a little over a year ago.

I do not consider myself either a writer or author. Many of you seem to want to argue that but, to me anyways, those titles are for those who have put much more time and effort into their stories than I have and do not consider myself to be at that level yet.

People such as Maggie Finson have been a big inspiration to myself.

Ever since writing my latest piece, I've really lost the desire to produce.

I've posted the first part, one of ten, of my latest novel, Soaring With Eagles. This is the last story of eight in the California Saga series. I find the title ironic, as the story seems to be going over like a lead balloon or a fart in a diving bell; there was not one kudo in the first 64 reads. Maybe the introduction could have been a bit more explanitory. As much as many want instant gratification, overnight transformations, misdiagnosed birth sex, etc., it ain't going to happen that way.

Here is the deal, I'm broken.

Been thinking about my brother a lot the last couple of days. Because I'm the kind of person I am, I can put myself in his shoes a bit, and I dont look good from that angle. I mean, he pretty much had to take over for my father and look after me at an impossibly young age, he did his best by me, and then after I got married and he probably hoped things were on their way up, I went and failed to pay my mortgage, leaving him hurt and having to clean up my mess.