X-Why-Me… Chapter 17

Chapter 17

*Before…

Emily grinned back. “My mom does want to get to know you more we could have supper and an in house date.”

“In house date?”

“I found out we can watch that Buffy show on Net flicks together.”

“It’s a date then.”

……………………The bell rang to get back to classes, and they all got up and left together as a loose sort of group but one that was trying to be there for each other.

Emily smiled a little and took Kira’s hand once they were clear of the crowd. “Walk you to class?”

Kira smiled at her. “Please that’d be really nice actually.”

*And Now…

Masks Chapter 20

*Before…

Okay, I feel better now…I feel more grounded and more like myself than I ever had. We do facials and mani-pedi’s and I’m surprising them in just how much I know.

Hey when you’re a girl, you’re a girl and if you’re like me and actually like hair and make-up and the girly stuff the stealth or not odds are you’re going to know it even if it’s your first times. I’ve lived a hundred thousand little girl snippet lifetimes already.

I want the whole thing, I need it.

I’m going to…

M.J. comes in with popcorn and Aunt Els is putting on Season one of Gilmore Girls and we sip all together in this pile on the bed in the bag on the floor and pillows and comforters.

This…so much this…

*After…

Masks Chapter 16

*Before…

She kisses my cheek before heading off at a quick pace with Rachel in tow and I’m like…huh…she kissed my cheek.

No girl’s ever done that outside of Mom.

Yay?

I’m feeling something, I just don’t know what.

M.J. Hip bumps me and mouths. “Lez?”

……………..!

I turn beet red.

Ohmigod my face is hot.

*And Now…

Masks Chapter 11

*Before…

My inner bitch is bigger than hers?

I’m so biting my tongue to keep from saying that.

“I didn’t cow-tow to her Mom and that’s never happened before so she thinks I’m nuts.”

“Well you get that from me.”

I smile. “That’s actually kind of cool Mom.”

She gives me a funny look when we pull in home and I try to give her a smile and then I head inside and upstairs.

Yick…my shirt is literally stuck to me with sugary coffee and caramel and whipped cream.

I go to the bathroom and I turn the shower on really high and I climb in and that’s about as far as my adrenaline takes me before I sit down in the tub and start to hyperventilate.

* And Now…

Masks Chapter 8

*Before…

“You’re welcome honey…You’re my niece I love you.”

I squeeze her really hard and she does back. One of those hugs that gets right there inside of you right where you usually don’t get hugged but need it the most in.

I head home and it does really suck going back to being Steven but this time…this time it’s different.

The real me that girl sealed away in that drum curled up in the dark.

She got hugged, told she was loved.

And inside my dark place that’s like me suddenly having someone give me this emergency candle and I have a little bit of light there in this dark place.

Candles can be amazing right?

*And Now…

Images 51

Chapter 51

I’m driving with Daddy for awhile and he’s not going right home/back to the diner instead he takes us first to Tim Horton’s and I look ay him. “Daddy?”

“You need a break honey, just some time to relax.”

I look at him and he knows, he’s worried and he knows.

(Sniffle.) “I.. I guess. My plate’s piled a little high huh?”

“Yeah, come on let’s take some father daughter time.”

(Sniffle.) “’Kay…I…I could use that.”

Bridges 38

Chapter 38

It’s a little like PTSD and it’s not.

I’m in the chopper and we’re flying over woods and highways and town after town heading into Vancouver and we’re keeping James stable and yet it’s so slow to me almost on that edge of dreaming while awake.

I can remember feeling like this coming home from Germany after Afghanistan. That being home and on friendly soil but at the same time you’re in a military craft so there’s that echo just by being there of all the stuff I’d been through.

Previously…

“Rudy, you shouldn’t have come over and woke him up and everything…I’d be…”

I’m stopped by him kissing me…he just walked up and tilted my chin up and kissed me with the most romantic, longest best kiss of my entire life.

“I wasn’t leaving you like the way you were, I’m a single dad Morgan... He’s used to it…see he’s already back to dreaming. Got anything to drink?”

The little guy’s conked out already and he’s snuggled into one of my sweatshirts that was left on the couch and my heart does this thing…and I feel this feeling in my insides that makes me want to smiley-cry.

“Sure I’ve some red in the fridge.”

It’s the first time I’ve had Chicken Treat…better than KFC, I like the pineapple fritters that came with the food and good fries. I’m not sure that red wine goes with take away chicken but…it’s all I had in the house.

I get some plates and he lit some of my scented candles and we sit on the floor in front of the coffee table.

I’ve never really had this before…I’m not sure what to do next.

And Now… Chapter 7.

Can Dreams Come True?… Part 1

I flick my smoke out the window my first since graduating high school three years ago and I drain what’s left of my Pepsi before getting out of my car.

Yes my car it’s one of the things that I made sure of before coming here and doing this. I got my own car. It’s a piece of crap older Saturn but it’s mine. Mine being the Very key word here. I likely could’ve had dad’s old car but with my folks there were always strings. A prime example is my brother and sister. Jordan my sister got the car and its title and the insurance are still in dad’s name.

My brother Jack, dad’s on with him in almost everything from his bank accounts to his lease.

And that’s why my apartment is mine, everything I have including all my student loan debt it‘s all mine. I knew long before I graduated that this was where I’d be going in life, who I had to be because not being me. It was killing me inside so I knew as soon as I was going to be legal I was going to be Josie.

Sweet Dreams-48...Tears of My Childhood

Chapter 48

It’s amazing how you can go from fighting off a two hundred pound plus football player and screaming and stuff to being a cold weak wreck. I know it’s the dropping off of the adrenaline and some actual shock.

Alex looks at me when we get to the cars. “You going to be alright?”

“Y..yeah just sort of coming down or up from all of that’s just hitting me.” I’m really glad for his jacket because I’m shivering a little.

“Okay…let’s get you cleaned up and take a breather before going…”

I reach over and take his hand and step up and kiss him. “’Kay…I think I need it.”

Sunshine…Part Five.

*** Joel……….

I stop eating and look over at the stunning young lady that’s looking at me and she’s crying. I get up and wipe off my mouth and grab my tray and I walk over to where she’s at and I set my tray down at the table that’s just beside theirs.

“Hey…are you okay?”

She’s still staring at me and it takes a second to have her register that I actually said something to her.

She wipes her eyes with the backs of her hands and nods then looks at me. “Yes sir…they just told me who you were.”

“I…Oh…you’re her?”

Sweet Dreams-44

Chapter 44

There are things that I’m discovering out of life that I never thought that I’d discover or that would even matter to me and they’re little things but they’re so huge too. Oh this is going to sound so girly but they feel like they’re huge things inside for me. Like in my heart.

This dance, being with Alex. Him saying stuff like that to me. All these little PDA’s between us and being out on something date like with my boyfriend. Yeah boy friend…I’m not even sure that we should even use that. He’s my partner, my significant other he’s the guy that I love.

Lead Shoes-15

Chapter 15

I think honestly it was the adrenaline and the lift that I’m riding on from the sunrise and all the cuddling and kissing that gives me the strength to get back into the house with just my arm canes after I see Will off in the cab that he called.

I get inside and I make a bee line to my room and see Mom is up and she’s doing some laundry and she smiles at me. “Good night?”

“Best night mom, it’s one of those nights that really, really makes up for everything up to this point.”

Charlie-16

Chapter 16

I looked it up and there’s not a lot on the internet that I can find about transgendered surfers. Okay well there is and the thing that I’m finding the most is about MTF trans-surfers.

Mind you I mostly tried just the normal web searches and stuff but professionally or even semi-pro I haven’t really seem anyone pop up in my searches.

So I talk it over a bit with Sable and the guys on the basketball team and the coach. It’s the coach that made me make the decision.

Sweet Dreams-43

Chapter 43

It’s the first time that I’ve been to a home game and I’ll have to say that it’s exciting. I’d never had pegged myself for a football fan but here I am sitting in the seats set aside for the players family and the players girlfriends.

Despite how I’ll be going to the dance after this well its two hours after this I’m dressed like a fan or my version of a fan.

My new do is messy manageable so it’s under a turned backwards team ball cap and I’m wearing my inserts and a push up bra that gives me some girl bounce for when I’m up and yelling my head off.

Jem…Chapter 56

Chapter 56

I get everything that I want to report typed up and I include some of the thoughts that I came up with as observations that I have made with the information I had and I put it all into a brown envelope and head downstairs.

It’s late, or really early in the morning just after three. Rayne’s up and doing stuff with out sites. Talking with our fans and she smiles at me. I go over and kiss her in front of the web camera and then look into it. “Sorry guys love you but I’m cooking a big supper today.”

Jem…Chapter 54

Chapter 54

I can hear the sirens getting closer and closer and Brooklyn in still sobbing into my chest and I’m crying a bit too as just how close we came to losing her just now.

Kim plop falls down beside us and she drapes herself over Brooklyn and starts to cry and to slap brook on the back saying sobby cusses I think in Japanese over and over.

I hear Rayne. “Mike…here sit down before you fall down.”

“I’m okay…”

“Yeah, yeah you’re a tough guy stiff dick and all that you’re bleeding so sit down and just shut up.”

“Rayne…”

Jem…Chapter 52

Chapter 52

It’s a pure moment.

Sunshine and love and me just really able to be myself and still loved by my father who’s holding me in my arms. Like I said I swear that I could feel my Mom’s presence with us in this whole moment.

Our first real father daughter talk and one that left me feeling loved and treasured. What girl big or little can say that that’s not something that I’ll treasure forever?

Bridges 31

Chapter 31

“Samantha…Samaritan Chase…do you take this woman…”

“To Have and to Hold…
To Love, Honor and Cherish…
In Sickness and Health…
Through Good times and Bad…
Forever and Always…
Always and Forever…
For as long as you both shall live…”

…………………..

Jem…Chapter 44

Chapter 44

I like this as sort of tired as I am I really like this. Rayne’s kissing me and I’m kissing her and she’s on top straddling me. I mean it’s damn sexy as anything but it’s sort of not guy and girl sexual. She’s straddling my waist and her bottom is sort of resting on the top part of my pubic bone and she’s almost got that seal that girl get like that…the way she just sort of dovetailed to me.

Her hands are running over me and touching me…I like that, I like the intimacy of being touched and I go with it.

Charlie…14

Chapter 14

I wake up really slowly like that climb our of a fog but a good fog. I feel so good, sore but good…actually even the slight swelling on…on Henry feels good because it makes him feel more there as Henry.

My hips are sore, and It from.

The smile creeps across my face even now. I’m sore from giving to too my girlfriend…the right way…and I’m laying face down the strap on pressed up against my stomach it’s gel silicone whatever feeling just hard and spongy enough…and my arm and hand is resting over the smooth sweet dip where her hip meets her waist.