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Sunshine…Part Five.
*** Joel……….
I stop eating and look over at the stunning young lady that’s looking at me and she’s crying. I get up and wipe off my mouth and grab my tray and I walk over to where she’s at and I set my tray down at the table that’s just beside theirs.
“Hey…are you okay?”
She’s still staring at me and it takes a second to have her register that I actually said something to her.
She wipes her eyes with the backs of her hands and nods then looks at me. “Yes sir…they just told me who you were.”
“I…Oh…you’re her?”
She nods tearing up again and smiling. “Yeah…I’m…I’m Sonya…” she offers her hand openly not as shy as you’d expect and she’s smiling at me.
Oh goddamn she has this amazing sweet smile that to me feels like she lit up the room and made all the stuff with my kids and all just suck not as bad right now.
“You really should just call me Joel.”
“Okay.”
Damned me that smile again. Shit this girl is a serious heartbreaker. Okay I heard porn star and bad relationship magnet but the girl that she might have been and the girl that she actually is now sitting here is different now…a fresh slate.
“You were upset?”
She nods. “Sort of…I…I remembered you singing to me that song…”
I nod. “I sort of remember that too, it’s fuzzy but it’s still just like one of my last memories I guess.”
“I don’t really remember much either…” She’s frowning at her food tray. “Honestly I’m kind of happy about that a little.”
I sit and nod grabbing my burger again. “Oh I so get that…I don’t remember stuff and I had my family show up with the whole deal and I don’t really know them, or remember them and then there’s the stuff about being married.”
She looks at me. “Married?”
“Widower, but yeah…I had a wife that I can’t remember so…I should be like in mourning but it’s just not there and I’m not sure if that’s a blessing or not.”
She nods along but it the in sympathy kind of nod while she’s taking a drink. “My one blessing I guess…I don’t have anybody to come and see me or stress me out and stuff.”
I look at Sonya. “But it also means you don’t have anyone that misses you either.”
She wipes at her eyes again. “That could be a blessing too Joel seeing how great I turned out the first time around.”
I really, really can’t help myself and I reach over to her and rub her back and lean over to look her in the face.
*Sonya……….
I almost jump when he touches me. It’s not scary but its unexpected human contact and once he’s there though it feels good. Actually it feels soothing like he’s winding me down from me losing it even more.
Sometimes honestly I can get why I was a basket case.
Just thinking about the person I used to be and how messed up I used to be and what I used to do for a living…everything that I’ve read about me.
Yeah there’s nothing like getting to know yourself than second or third hand information.
It just seems to hit me though in this way that makes me hurt…makes me scared and wondering…can memory loss actually change who you are or am I just a time
bomb waiting to go off of all the stuff that made me the person I used to be?
Joel leans over and he looks at me. Like person to person right in the eyes looking at you the way you’d expect from a hero like him to do…still do.
“Hey…Sunshine…it’s a fresh start now.”
“Really Joel? Really or is it just us not being able to remember shit that’s still us?”
He smiles. And honestly I knew he was like retirement age when he was hurt saving me but he’s a young man right now with that old soul and he’s…I have no way in my brain to put the way that his eyes and his smile and him trying to make me feel better is making me feel.
Warm…?
Warm inside like emotionally warm and safe…god safe is feeling good. Is this what a normal female to male non-professional reaction’s like?
His smile is making me cry.
He moves the table in front of him making it squeal on the tiles and he pulls me over to him just like that and into his lap now that there’s room.
“Yes, really Sonya…it’s a fresh start, a clean slate if we let it be okay.”
“Really…just like that…it’s okay?”
He hugs me tighter and rests his head beside mine. “Sunshine…even if it’s not I still got you.”
I…
I can’t control my feelings, if it’s just being me or being screwed up from before I just can’t and Joel doing that has me bawling.
(Snuffling-whine.) “Promise…fuck Joel I don’t…I don’t have no one else…”
He moves on of his arms so one of his hands is free and he hooks my pinky with his…
“I promise.”
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Comments
It's a difficult one.
It's a difficult one. Is it better to have people who care about you who you don't remember or have a completely clean slate of no one around who cares about you? I guess it would be better is some ways just to have someone who cares about you - some physical connection to the world even if there is also the tangled family stuff and stress that goes with it. Luckily for Sonya, Joel is both a connection to her past and an innately good guy, memories or no memories. :-)
A gently paced but engaging story Bailey.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Sometimes memories can burn you:)
Sonya has this deep bad scared and hurt feeling inside that if she ever remembered the stuff she did that it'd break her. She looks at the stuff they have of her online and in her file and she just can't help but feel sick by reading between the lines.
And Joel...is he better off not remembering and mourning or not?
*Great Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Old soul
His gentleness and strength really comes though here, Bailey. I also like how you had him not remembering his family while she had none as a contrast to the not remembering thing: the good and the bad of it.
Hugs
Grover
Thanks Grover:)
I really wanted that to be sort of a hinge for them in the story. I like Joel and Sasha they're both great writes as characters go:)
*Big Hugs*
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
“I promise.â€
sniffle sob.
You owe me for tissues, writing something like this.
Yeah...it was just that kind of a that guy kinda thing:)
And there was a tissue alert:) But I'm really glad that you liked it.
*Great Big Angel Hugs*
Bailey...A Proud Big Brother.
Bailey Summers
At least they have each other...
be it as friends, a brother sister relationship or even lovers.
Still wonder about that fact the military is funding all this.
Are they obligated to work for the military or are there aspects of their *rebuilds* that are military oriented? IE will they upon full recovery find they have military skills, superior speed and strength, rapid healing, built in weapons, chameleon prosperities? What what what?
Or are they at risk from others attempting to kidnap them to duplicate/steal the process?
And for that matter what about justice for them?
Both, and in particular him were sold as living organ donors by a criminal conspiracy. Deprived of their families, assets et.
Can they get back at least financially what was lost? IE since his kids are being asses and only a couple grand kids shoe any compassion can he sue to get ALL of his assets back WITH interest?
IE if they live in his old home he can kick them out. If they made investments, built companies with his money is whatever portion was originally from him now HIS? IE he owns their asses?
Cute, loving chapter. But I wonder if and when the darker side of all this will raise its foul head again?
And for that matter what of their future? What will they do to live? With the partial or near complete in his case loss of memories are all or much of their former life skills, ability to read, career/professional skills lost?
Plus things have changed greatly since he was a newly retired firefighter. Porn wouldn't have changed much -- sex is sex and it's been just a few years for her --- but clearly she hates/regrets that path her life took and how it in essence ended hers. So what skills do they have/retain, can they learn? What help can they get?
I doubt even for follow-ups -- checking on the long term effectiveness/failures of the process used to rebuild them -- the military would keep them *on the dole* so to speak indefinitely.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
God John I love it when you comment!
Literally a whole plethora of ideas and angles all the time and there's ALWAYS:) Stuff that you say or come up with that I would have absolutely never thought of.
Thank You Sooooo Much:)
*Really Big Hugs*
Bailey Summers
Me Too! Bailey!
John leaves the best comments and is often a pointed to the 'good' stuff! However, in this case he really made me wonder about the military angle. The thought of memory wiped brainwashed super-soldiers doesn't make me sleep easy at night. Why worry about conscientious objectors when you can just start with a clean slate. Morals? Go out there and kill the enemy!
Okay that might be an over reaction, however just what the military is planning on getting out this is a real good point.
hugs
Grover
Sunshine...
starting to see the title now. there are a lot of lost people here.
nice to see that maybe two of them found each other.
good job, thanks
are we going to see some of that american werewolf in london soon... I hope
Yeah I'm going at that with the song and as....
a pet name for Sonya because of the song and the way it connects them. I've got Evanescence and the related stories on the back burner until I have a few other things done. I'm actually close to being done with a few storylines.
*Hugs and Howls*
Bailey Summers
Hmmm....
A story about a Firefighter, how did I miss the beginning of this one?(LOL) I just got caught up on this one, interesting futuristic tale Bailey! It was nice to see that Joel actually was successful in rescuing the little girl and now here she is all growed up and in the same boat as he. Being a Firefighter myself for 33 years, I keenly understood the feeling Joel has had when the fire pager goes off. So now there's yet another of your stories i'm so looking forward to more of Ms' Summers. (Hugs) Taarpa
I love firefighters:)
Well Then, police, and EMT's. I work with these people all the time and I get to see stuff that others don't. I needed the future thing to get them together. I just had the whole idea just form around the scene of this fire fighter shielding her while buried in burning debris and gently singing that song.
I had to write it then.
As you being a FF for that long I'm very glad this meets your approval Ms Taarpa:)
*Big Hugs*
And thank you for what you did for so many hon:)
Bailey Summers