Previously…

“Jenn? Are you okay? You’re awfully quiet!” Connie stood outside Jenn’s bedroom. A moment later Jenn opened the door; her face pale and wet with perspiration Connie shook her head; not out of correction or even out of fear. It was more like something her mother would say in times like this, but Connie only thought it,

Jesus, Mary and Joesph! This cannot be happening.

She gently took Jenn by the hand and led her back to her own bedroom.

“My sweet baby girl! This is not flu. It’s not a virus.” Connie walked Jenn into the bathroom and sat her down on the toilet. She started a checklist in her head before asking questions. Something told her…just how things were going.

“You love Raisin Bran but it doesn’t taste right?” Jenn nodded and Connie continued.

“You went for a nice walk on Saturday but just wasn’t into it yesterday? Right?” Another nod.

Connie put her palms together in from of her face; a mixture of prayer and deep thinking. She asked, or rather showed,” You…” Connie used her hand to indicate something coming up and out of her mouth. Jenn nodded again, but much slower. Somehow Connie had already known. She grabbed a Walgreens bag hanging on the bathroom door.

“You okay for some Rosehip tea?” Jenn nodded but added, “I think so.” Connie place the bag on the vanity and kissed Jenn on the forehead.

“I’ll put the kettle on. Call me if you need me.”

“What’s in the bag, Mom?”

“I think I’m in the mood for saltines. You?” Connie didn’t wait but walked out and down the hallway. She was just reaching the kitchen archway when Jenn called out,

“Not funny, Mom,” Jenn shouted. Connie hadn’t meant to be so abrupt, but everything in her being just felt that something wonderful was about to happen. She only just then noticed it had gotten awful quiet. She turned to walk back down the hallway when Jenn’s voice came through clear as a bell and awfully loud.

“Mom? MOM? MOMMY! MOMMY!”

As confusing and even more challenging as things were about to become, Connie stepped quickly to the bedroom and stopped only for a couple of seconds. She thought about her own mom and remembered another phrase from when she was a kid

“Grazie Dio per la mia dolce ragazza……Thank you god for my sweet girl.”

Connie smiled and stared at the doorway but just close enough to hear Jenn crying, She quickly added, “Spero che sia una bambina! Please take care of my baby,” beforer rushung to her daughter's side.

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Throwing light into a darkened cold
Hands that toil until the night grows old
Pure devotion of a faithful heart
and the patience of one that knows Your Spirit

And the river flows
Through eternity

Meanwhile at the O’Connors…

Angela had started to shake…only a bit, but anxious none the less,

“Caryn…You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry, Mommy…Daddy. You…You never deserved this.” Caryn began to sob. The new girl suddenly felt alone. She wrapped herself in a self hug; brand new to everyone except the new girl. The pretender that was destroying everyone;s happiness. Who knows? If she had the chance could she get Mr.Jordan to bring back the ‘real’ Caryn?

“But you are the real Caryn!” she heard Mrs. Jordan say from faraway.

“No I’m not. I’m a phony. I’m not a good girl!” Caryn shouted.” Jason shook his head no and Angela stood up.

“Caryn Elizabeth O’Commor! You stop it this instant. You’re my…You’re our daughter. You’re just … everything that’s happened. Jason? TALK to her! Talk to our Daughter!” Angela began to cry.

“But I’m not! I hurt you and Daddy because Caryn is gone. Oh…” The girl actually tried to curse but too much of the inevitable change would not allow it. But she still shouted,

“NO! Can’t you see? Are you blind?” She shook her head furiously.

Jason got up and grabbed Caryn by both shoulders.

“Stop it… Stop.” Jason O’Connor might be the most reasonable person you might meet and he was certainly calm. But the inevitable followed. How anyone could call any of this reasonable? Jason stared into Caryn’s eyes and noticed something peculiar..something off. The color drained from his face as the girl in his arms just kept repeating, “I’m sorry Mommy! I’m Sorry Daddy.”

“Why are you sorry,” Angela asked. “Why?”

Caryn fell to her knees; holding up her arms to plead for forgiveness. She swallowed hard and spoke as clear as her sobs would allow.

Down through the ages the Truth will survive
Turning the pages the Light cannot die
Down through the ages the Truth will survive

It was slowly dawning on them, however reluctantly, that everything went beyond the here and now. But Caryn had to argue anyway. None of it and every bit of it couldn’t be truem could it?

“The morning I got hurt…when Caryn was hurt?”

“Stop it, kitten!” Jason would never be able to understand why he used the endearment in anger. He took a deep breath as his fists balled up.

“NO! Caryn didn’t live. She died,” the girl wasn’t hysterical but still struggled to speak. By now, Angela was on the floor across from Caryn; as if she could bargain against the truth that was now overwhelming the family. Jason had fallen back into the chair, remembering what he thought he saw in Caryn’s eyes’ Eyes that smiled at Daddy on the day she was born. Eyes that doted on her twin. Eyes that loved her mother more than any other besides her Daddy and Lisa. Those same eyes that now begged desperately for release. Caryn stood up. She would never be angry but she was frustrated beyond all hope.

“Mommy! Daddy? Caryn died… And I died the night before. I don’t know why but the people took her… they left me in her place. I tried to be her. I wanted to be her. But I can’t! She needs to be here. Not me! I died. I was going to see my mom at the cemetery and I… They couldn’t save me…”

Angela was rocking back and forth. Jason starred at the girl and shook his head. Those eyes. A tiny fleck of blue in a sea of brown. When did Caryn ever tilt her head like that. This isn’t fair! It isn’t. They all knew it. But deep inside someone spoke. Angela didn’t actually hear any voice, but she felt both Caryn and Lisa.

Pages of eternal mystery
Where the Spirit knows what the eye cannot see
Images of Earth and Heaven
Mysteriously drawn together

None of it made sense but all of it made sense, And eternity was about to provide the truth of it all.

“We’re okay, Mommy…” Lisa said.

“Really, Daddy? Leesie and I are okay. We’ll be just fine.” Caryn said and Jason felt a gentle hand touch his arm.

Jason shook his head no. He pointed to the girl who sat on the floor; weeping.

“What about him?? Why him? This makes no sense.” Jason felt his advantage was ebbing away; he was losing an argument he could never have won to begin with It was so unreal.

Bu it wasn’t at all about real or unreal at that point. It just didn’t fit. But like many couples, viewpoints often were often exchanged. Angela walked up to the only daughter she would ever see happy. Caryn tried to push her mother away; overcome with shame for something that was actually a blessing. A first chance of sorts.

“No, Mommy! Please? I have to go. Please let me go. The transformation was now complete. The girl the boy never realized he was stood in her own home with her own parents, Angela pulled her even closer and showered her new daughter with kisses; leaving Caryn confused and overwhelmed,

“Mickey? Is that what I’m supposed to call you?” Jason stepped close and stared once again into those eyes. Caring eyes. Fiercely loyal eyes. The eyes of a daughter he was meeting for the very first time even as he recalled the Caryn who left to gain a blessing elsewhere that some wait forever to find.

But this Caryn still backed away, feeling once again like the little boy who lost his mommy and never really had a daddy.

“Caryn?” Jason said softy.

“It’s okay to call you that?” The girl remained quiet.

“I…have a confession of sorts…not really…just something only you and I know.” Caryn winced at Jasons words but he continued.

“At Caryn’s softball picnic last year…” He paused and shook his head at the craziness of the moment.

“ Caryn…you..oh god.” His tears fell freely but with the weeping finally came enlightenment.

“Caryn had just told us…” Angela interjected.

“We really already knew…that…that Jenn and you…she said, ‘just like you and Mommy..” Angela had forgotten all about it until just then. She stifled a sob; not a biiter sob but the kind that realizes just how precious life is. Jason was strggling for words.

“She had told us how she loved that you loved Jenn. A match made in heaven, she said. And you told Jason…oh god how did we ever forget this” I remembered it at your…Mickey’s Memorial… At the picnic you…Mickey...you told Jason that you…you felt the same way about Caryn…”

It was almost too much for Angela. Jason stepped over and grabbed Angela’s hand and spoke.

“You told me that if things were different, it would all be the same in the end because you and Caryn both loved…both love Jenn. But you said something that sounded odd at the time. ‘Mr.O’Connor? I have to say that if I ever could be as good as anyone, Well, Your daughter is about as nice as anyone. I just hope I can love Jenn the way Caryn does. I guess if I wasn’t around..’” Jason repeated Mickey’s words.

“You told me if you weren’t around you’d be okay because Caryn loved Jenn so much.” Jason shook his head and Caryn just sobbed over the sheer wonder of it all. The truth of it all.

And the river flows
Through eternity

Down through the ages the Truth will survive
Turning the pages the Light cannot die
Down through the ages the Truth will survive

And while most times, a happy family with a happy ending might be a good place to end this story? But…

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At the O’Connor home, several days later

Even as best as could be expected, there still was a cloud of awkwardness hovering over the house; small and growing smaller moment by moment. The character..the essence of Mickey Bisceglia remained, but as was vowed, Mickey had become the best Caryn she could be.

“I know you want to tell Jenn so bad. Maybe even need to?” Angela said as she sipped a mug of cocoa,

“I don’t know anything I could say that would make it easy…or even just easier. But you…but we have time. The one who started this all must have a plan?”

“I’m sorry, kitten,” Jason said. As odd as it has first sounded things started to fit. The girl at the breakfast table was their daughter. Caryn was a double blessing.

Everything of Mickey’s being was the same even as Caryn soon remembered how to sew and pitch underhand and console a sad little girl at summer day camp. All the particulars fit, but Caryn came to enjoy all those things she already loved. And she would always love hiking and even skydiving.

But what about Jenn? Caryn hadn’t spoken with or texted with her in days, and it felt like they would grow apart. As Angela was chopping some dill and onions for the Salmon she had in the dish she had on the counter, her cell phone rang. She figured it must be Jason at Wegmans reporting that they were out of asparagus or something.

“Caryn? Can you grab my phone? My hands are wet from the veggies.”

“Sure thing Mom!” Caryn was growing into the sheer joy of belonging now that the secret was put to rest. She grabbed the phone.

“O’Connors! Oh hi, Mrs. Picone. How is…she’s… Mom’s okay? That’s great. What? Oh sure. One Sec!” Caryn grabbed a dishtowel off the counter and handed it to Angela,

“Mrs, Picone says she has some great news but she has to tell you first,”

“Sure thing. Just a sec,” Angela said as she wiped her hands. A moment later Caryn handed her the phone.

“Hi Connie. What’s up. Yes, Caryn said you had some good news that you wanted to share. Uh huh… I’m so glad Jenn is doing better…Oh…okay.”

Angela hit the speaker icon on the phone and placed it on the counter. Just then Jason walked in with a few bags of groceries. Caryn noticed and pointed to the phone.

“I’ll get the rest in a minute, Dad. Mrs. Picone is on the phone and has great news about Jenn.”

“Okay,” Jason said and grabbed a can of seltzer from the fridge.

“Angela? Sweetie? Can you take it off speaker?” Angela stared at the phone almost as if Connie was right there. She tapped the icon and put the phone to her ear.

“Yes…uh huh?” Angela turned to Caryn and Jason.

“She says you have to sit down.” She put the phone to her ear again.

“Oh Connie? What’s wrong? What? Two happy secrets…That’s nice…Can I please put it on speaker..’kay?”

“She says she’s crying for happy…Here Connie. Tell us the good news.” Another tap to the icon.

“Hi Jason. Hi, Caryn.”

“Hi,” they both said. Caryn waved to the phone.

“Are you all sitting down?” At that, Angela grabbed a kitchen chair and sat down by the counter; her eyes fixed on the phone.

“Jenn was feeling well enough to go for a walk. Over by Quik Chek. A nice older lady waved her over. Jenn was a bit startled at first, but they were out in the open and the lady seemed nice.” Connie paused for just a few moments before conyinuing.

“She said she had two secrets we needed to hear. Three actually, since she knew a secret Jenn and I had. Are you still sitting down?”

“Yes!” they all said, quite accidentally in unison.

“Great. Last one first for everyone, but for you especially, Caryn.” The girl resisted the temptation to interrupt other than to say, ‘Okay.’

“The lady told Jenn to remind you. She said, ‘from your mouth to god’s ears.’ That’s something a lot of Nana’s say. She said…this is for you, Caryn. She said ‘Tell Miss O’Connor that Mrs. Jordan says Hello.’ She said something that she knew you’d understand. Jenn had her phone so she wrote it in the note section…”Connie paused. Jason and Angela looked at each other and Caryn just stared at the floor.

“’Tell Miss “O’Connor I told you it would be alright!’”

“What does she mean, honey?” Angela asked. Caryn just pointed to the counter as if Connie was right there.

“Next, secret number one. Actually the best one, I guess. Jenn is expecting!” It would have been difficult enough just with that alone. But Connie continued.

“Yep… I’m gonna be a Nana.” She said, choking back a sob.

“Don’t worry. Like I told Ang…Happy tears.! Okay third secret is a two parter. Part A? Jenn died a bit inside not too long ago, but the lady said the same thing to her…that everything would be alright. She said that she knew Jenn would be okay… forever okay.” Caryn started to shake.

“Part B? Well the baby will have three doting grandparents. I think the rest of this you really need to hear this in person.” The phone went silent but the speaker was on so Connie could listen. Caryn started to cry.

“Hey…none of that!” They all turned around to see Jennifer Grace Picone standing at the back kitchen door.

“Honey? I think I sorta knew when I looked into your eyes when you stood up at the field. But I sorta didn’t at the same time. I’m sorry but it didn’t really sink in until the lady told me …not about you so much as about.. well, about knowing about the little girl I’m carrying. My baby…our baby!”

Caryn wasn’t a crier for most of her life except when Lisa died. Mickey had all too many reasons to cry; as the little boy but then through the conflict and turmoil of her change. In that moment, however, every last bit of her transformation was completed when Jenn walk up to her and took her in her arms and said at last,

“I love you so very much.” From a dearth of attention to a wealth of love, Caryn Elizabeth O’Connor had come full circle. Just one last bit of business to take care of. Jenn kissed Caryn for the very first time and laughed softly; saying at last,

“I hope you don’t mind but I figured it was okay. I took the liberty of naming our little girl…. Michele Kathrine O’Connor.” Jenn grabbed Caryn’s right hand and placed it on her still small if growing tummy and said,

“Congratulations, Mrs. Picone. You’re gonna be a Mommy.”

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October 17th, 2079…somewhere else entirely…

While two very elegant women had boarded the bus, two vibrant young ladies got off the bus. Several figures were waiting at the depot. First, two girls almost sprinted to the new arrivals. Huge hugs all around promised an eternity of more of the same. Lisa stepped to the sister she never met but had known all along.

“Thanks for taking care of Mommy and Daddy. Oh… They went on a picnic with Jenn’s mom. Lisa pointed to a breathtaking view of the most beautiful meadow anyone could ever imagine.

“Nana Connie says hi! And of course Mommy and Daddy love you both. They’ll all be at the new arrival banquet later.” She stepped closer and kissed Jenn and Caryn.

A second later Caryn’s sister appeared… They would quickly figure out that it might be a very good idea to call the original twin Elizabeth…Liz for short… just to keep things easy. She kissed Jenn hello.

“I’m sorry I had to leave so abruptly. But the last fifty-five years went by awfully fast. Thank you for loving me.” While Liz understood that Jenn loved her counterpart all these years, she knew that Jenn always treasured her as well.

She turned to Caryn. Leaning close, she whispered in her successor’s ear.

“We are both Lisa’s sister, honey. You’re the real deal.” Caryn began to cry.

“Hey! None of that!” Liz hugged her and grabbed both of Caryn’s hands.

“I bless you from the bottom of my heart. I will never be able to thank you enough for taking care of our girl,” Liz said and kissed Caryn on the nose just like the both did in a way with their mom. She stepped back and a familiar face appeared.

“Glad you could make it. See? Didn’t I tell you it would be alright.”

Caryn blinked back what would be the first of many exclusively happy tears and said,

“Alright? It was perfect, Mrs. Jordan!”

“Well, Mrs. Picone? Not just yet, but it will be shortly.” Mrs. Jordan stepped aside to reveal a pretty, petite dark haired woman; older than young but so much younger than old. She was smiling more than Caryn remembered but her eyes gleamed with a light that only comes from a mother’s love.

She stepped past Caryn for only a moment and spoke to Jenn. She hadn’t spoken anything but Irish for decades, but she blessed Jenn with a a kiss and an assuring squeeze of the arm.

“Thank you, sweet daughter for loving my girl.”

And then at last came the reunion for the ages as Katherine O’Brien kissed her child for the first time in so many years and kissed her ‘new’ daughter for the very first time.

“Mo leanbh... Is breá liom tú le mo chroí go léir.”

“I love you too, Mommy… so very, very much.” Caryn said at last.

“With all my heart!”

And the river flows
Through eternity

Down through the ages the Truth will survive
Turning the pages the Light cannot die
Down through the ages the Truth will survive

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River Flows
Composed by the performers
The Band Iona
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvxBXMdxTjc