Allie - The teenage years of Alexander Horten

July 12-18, 2015

July 12, 2015
Sunday
Dear Diary

Why does the Church never have mass in the afternoon? We should be allowed to sleep late on Sunday. It is supposed to be the day of rest. It is definitely not that way at our house. There is panic when we wake up and a rush to try to make it to the toilet before Billy hogged the bathroom all the time. This usually failed. Mom always complains that we only have one bathroom and Aunty has 3 in her house.

Dad promised that he will make an outhouse like they had in the old days. So far there is only a tree where the outhouse should be. I am not sure that tree even appreciates that we water it.

The church was important for me today. I needed to pray that Annie would forget that she saw me in cartoon briefs yesterday at the beach. I know this was a big prayer for God. I am sure he had other things to worry about like world peace and Greece having no money. I wondered if it would be too much if I also asked him for advice on what summer job I should get.

When we came to the Church, I wanted to ask Father Immer if he would remember me in his prayers. I figured I needed the support of someone holy. I didn't have time. When we were standing in the Church at the choir stand, I was looking at Annie and hoping she will notice me. She did when Father Immer came out as he forgot to arrange a solo. He asked me in a loud voice if I would do the solo, as I had the best soprano voice. Then he said in an equally loud voice that it is good that my voice did not break. He even announced so the whole church could hear that I have not started puberty.

I could see Annie suddenly noticing me. She had this smile on her face. Most likely she thought I was a little child, and not a teenager

July 13, 2015
Monday
Dear Diary

When will school start? I think I will go mad just hanging around home and Sarah constantly wanting to play things with me. I was probably the only one that wanted summer holidays to be over. I knew it was wise and wait for September, as Annie needed to forget what she has seen at the beach and what Father Immer said yesterday.

It was so hot today. Mom was complaining that the world is sick and getting warmer and warmer. All I know is that I wish we had a swimming pool. Dad moaned that they cost so much and we could just sit in the bathtub.

He finally put a sprinkler in the front yard and told us that would cool us down. Sarah and I spent all afternoon jumping back and forth. It was not the same as a swimming pool, but beggars cannot be choosers!

This strange man looked over the fence and introduced himself. I already forget his name. He told me that I was very pretty and I could be a model at his agency. He told me that I would be able to keep some of the dresses and clothes that I model. Sarah was laughing her head off as I had to explain I was a boy. The man looked shocked and quickly walked away. I really need a haircut so people can see that I am a boy.

When I told mom, she said that God created me perfectly. It is people's problem if they think that I look like a girl. Mom does not understand that it is also my problem. It is embarrassing that so many think that I am a girl. I am sure I will spend many hours when I am an adult telling this to a shrink!

July 14, 2015
Tuesday
Dear Diary

Today I could not find my cell phone. I have one of the oldest Nokia telephones that were made. It really should belong in a museum. I told Dad that my phone was gone and I needed a new cell phone. Dad sighed and gave me that speech about what it was like when he was a child. He obviously did not have anything and he was still happy. Who could live without a cell phone? How am I living without a smartphone?

Today I looked at the news. The news never has anything good, does it! I feel depressed after I see it and I get the impression that the world is doomed.

Today something good happened. A small spacecraft flew past Pluto. This is the last planet in the solar system. I decided that I must get information on the planet, as before I heard this, the only Pluto I knew was on Disney hour on TV and he was a dog.

I could hardly sleep that night. I had to get more information.

July 15, 2015
Wednesday
Dear Diary

Today was a good day!

I got my first job in my life. This means that the only way is up. Mrs. Murphy asked if I would cut her lawn. She is an old lady that lives down the street. I told her that I could cut her lawn the next day. I spent the morning trying to make a logo for my new lawn business. I mean coco-cola has a logo. Then so should I!!!! I sat on my bed and then thought about having a multinational business. This was the day it all started.

In the afternoon, I looked on the net for information about Pluto. " It is the ninth-largest and tenth-most-massive known object directly orbiting the Sun. It is the largest known trans-Neptunian object by volume but is less massive than Eris. Like other Kuiper belt objects, Pluto is primarily made of ice and rock and is relatively small—one-sixth the mass of the Moon and one-third its volume. Light from the Sun takes 5.5 hours to reach Pluto at its average distance" It took 9 years for the spacecraft to reach Pluto!

I felt all the wiser and intelligent now. I am sure that Annie would be proud of how I was nourishing my mind.

I decided that I would make a paper mache model of the universe. So I went on the net to find out how to make paper mache.

An old newspaper, comics or magazines
1 level mug of plain flour
1 level mug of warm water, plus extra tap water for loosening

After a few hours, the galaxy was made. It looked a bit crude as if it was different balls with a metal wire through them around a huge football. I thought that it would look better when I painted it but I decided to wait to do this. My brain was tired and Bily (my brother) was frustrated because he couldn't find the football anywhere.

July 16, 2015
Thursday
Dear Diary

Today I went to Mrs. Murphy's house. As usual, it was very hot. I could understand why she did not want to cut the lawn. When I looked at it, I nearly fainted. The lawn was so big and the grass was so high. I had to have good working morale, so I reminded myself that to get to the top of the ladder of success, it would need hard work!

It took me over an hour to cut the lawn. This was while the sun was beating down on my head and I was sweating a lot. I was trying to console myself by trying to remember the minimum wage and wondering if I should save my money or spend it. It would be wisest to save it for a smartphone. The problem was that I was not always wise. I would need will-power and decide that I would be responsible and save money.

When I was done, Mrs. Murphy came out to inspect. I was shocked and a little mad that she did not approve of the job I have done. So she told me to cut the lawn once again! It was torture to cut the lawn again. The sun was warmer, and I was sure the sun did this on purpose. I was hoping that Mrs. Murphy would give me extra for doing this.

She did not! In fact, she did not give me any money. She told me that she would light a candle for me at the church and say a prayer for me. I was speechless. I wanted to sue her and take her to the highest court.

When she asked if I would cut the lawn again, I told her that I would!

July 17, 2015
Friday
Dear Diary

Today was the worse day of my teenage life. When I woke up, I found that my sheets were wet. When I investigated further, I realized that I wet the bed!

I wanted to cry and I felt so confused. I quickly got up and took all the wet sheets down in the hamper. I shoved them at the bottom of the hamper, thinking that this would hide it for a while. Maybe mom would think that Sarah wet the bed.

I couldn't help thinking about it. I was hoping that it was a once-off event and maybe caused by some viruses in the air. I was sure that It would not become a habit. I had to make sure that no one knew about it. What would Annie say if she knew that I wet the bed?

July 18, 2015
Saturday
Dear Diary

I wet the bed again so I once again hid the sheets in the hamper. I must be getting sick with some strange virus that makes me wet the bed!

Dad wanted to hold a family meeting today. He informed us that we would be going on holiday. This made me excited, as I heard my friends talk about going on holiday to the best resorts and beaches around the world. It would be a nice summer if we went to some resort in Spain or a remote island.

I was excited until Dad said we were going to a family camp at a beach a few hours from here. This was not what I hoped for. Things got worse when he said that the beach was a naturist camp. We would be wearing our birthday suits!

There was nearly a riot when he said this. We all said that in no circumstances would we go. Mom explained that it was because we were invited and it was free.

This didn't matter. I am not going anywhere where people can see my whole body!

CLICK HERE TO READ THE NEXT PART