I am Not Julia - Part 1

Taylor has a best friend and when she is gone, he has to replace her. How can a boy take the place of his best friend, who is a girl?

(This was written by me under an alias pen name)

No, I am not Julia. My name is Taylor. We both are 11 and best friends. I know she is a girl and I am a boy, but it is allowed for a boy and girl to be best friends. I actually forgot how we became friends. We just were always friends. To tell you the truth, I forgot how we became friends. According to Julia, we became friends on the first day of kindergarten. I was being sad in a corner because my mom left me there. Julia saw me nearly in tears and came over to play with me. She thought I was cool because I was not afraid to play with Barbies. Since then we have been best friends, and despite she didn't live that close to me, we were often together. Of course, everyone thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. This was not true. I didn't think of her as a girl. She was just a friend!

Julia had no Dad, so she was like me. My dad disappeared when I was born. He was not ready for the responsibility of being a dad. Julia's Dad died. That was sadder. That is one thing we never did speak a lot about.

This story must start somewhere, so it may as well be shortly after we were 11. Believe it or not, I was never on a sleepover with Julia. I kept nagging her and asking her, but she always changed the subject. However, now she said it was OK. I don't know why I was so excited about a sleepover, but I counted the days until it was time for it.

Julia's house was pretty much like any other home. It was very tidy and hard to find any dust. Julia was dressed in a frilly dress and tights. She looked like a girl from some old TV show. She invited me to her room. I know Julia is a girl, but I didn't expect her to have such a princess bedroom. It had a canopy bed and fluffy carpet, It had a huge dollhouse and loads of teddy bears

I didn't know what to do, so I just sat on the bed. Julia walked around and said she really did not have anything for boys. I smiled and said her room was very nice and much tidier than mine. This broke the ice as we both started laughing, Then I sat at her table and looked at all the things she had for her hair. She had long hair, so she had so many elastics and hair decorations. I was surprised she even had them, as she never wore them to school.

Julia just smiled and said that my hair was long for a boy. She dared me to let her do my hair. So after half an hour of her tugging at my hair, and we were giggling, I had butterflies in my hair and pigtails like Julia. Julia teased that I could actually look like a girl. Actually, she was a bit serious when she said that! I did not think it was funny and started taking all the things out of my hair.

Julia's mother was standing at the bedroom door and smiled as she saw me take the things out of my hair. It was time for dinner. Her mother was a great cook. She was smiling and very nice. She told me I could sleep over any time. Eating dinner there was a fun experience. Everyone was smiling and laughing and having a good time.

Afterwards, her mother suggested that Julia show me one of her DVDs. Julia said she had none that I would like. Her mom won in the end and for the next two hours, I was watching a Barbie film. Julia kept on apologizing and telling me she is sorry she doesn't have the Avenger films or something. I was a guest so I told her not to worry. The film was not that bad. It did tell a story and I didn't really mind it.

After, we were getting ready for bed. I put on my Iron man pyjamas. Julia got changed in the bathroom. When she came back. She had a nightdress.

" You know I never wanted you on sleepovers," she asked

" Yes."

"It's because I have secrets I did not want you to know."

" oh"

" Besides my mum treats me like a princess and makes me wear frilly dresses and things, I have a big secret. I didn't want you to hate me or tell the whole school."

" I am your friend and I could never hate you!"

" Well, this is hard to say. I am a bed-wetter. I wet the bed so I need to wear diapers."

I didn't know what to say at first. I heard of bed-wetters but never thought that they would be wearing diapers when they were 11 years old. I could see that Julia was nearly in tears waiting for a reaction. I didn't know what to say so I told her that it didn't matter. No one could see the diaper under the nightdress.

I didn't think about the diaper or the way she was treated after the sleepover. It was a fun weekend and I would love if we had more sleepovers. When we were walking home from school, I told her that the sleepover was fun. She should come to my house sometime where we could have a sleepover. She was quiet all day at school and asked if I thought she was weird because she wet the bed and was treated like such a princess. I smiled and reminded her that she was a friend. I respected that she had problems when she slept and it would get better! The main thing is we have always been friends and would be friends forever!

This made her happy and she did a small dance of happiness. Julia was in a great mood as she said goodbye and said we could have sleepovers at any time. She even suggested every weekend.

As Julia was crossing the street, she was in such a good mood, that she did not notice anything. Everything went so fast. An old woman driving a car drove into Julia. I could see Julia's body flying through the air. I rushed to her and I was in tears. She was in pain but managed to smile telling me that we may have to cancel this weekend's sleepover. I did my best to smile and show that I was not worried. Julia knew me well and could see that I was worried. She told me that it did not hurt.

An ambulance came and took Julia to the hospital.

I ran home and told mom that we need to go to the hospital. I quickly told her what happened and Mom said we should go straight away. On the way, we stopped at a flower shop to buy some flowers.

In the car, I looked out the window. There was so much going through my head. The accident happened so fast. I was so worried about Julia and wondered how many bones she broke. I was also mad at Julia. Why did she not look when she crossed the road? I was mad at myself for not reminding her to look. I was mad at the old woman for driving. It seemed like I was mad at the whole world. Now we would have to see if Julia would be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. I promised myself that I would help her as much as I could.

When we came to the hospital, we found where Julia was. The nurse told us not to go in. Then she told us the words I thought I would never hear. Julia was dead. She died on the way to the hospital. I could not believe what I heard. I rushed past the nurse and went to Julia and begged her to wake up. I did not believe that my best friend could be dead. She looked as if she was asleep. Tears were flowing from my face as she just "slept" there while I begged her to wake up. Mom came in and helped me to move away from her, We sat on a sofa outside the room.

I do not know what mom was saying. She was going on that at least Julia had no more pains and was in heaven. I could not believe that the best friend I had for most of my life was now gone. I would never get to see her smile or hang around with her at school. There would be no sleepovers. How could someone who has been a huge part of my life be suddenly gone? I mean who would know that the sleepover would be our only one and it would be the last time that we walked home.

Julia was dead. My best friend was dead.

I was dressed in black at Julia's funeral. I have been crying for days and I knew the funeral was the last chance that I could say goodbye to her. It was hard to believe that she was in a coffin. The funeral was so sad, especially when the coffin was lowered to the ground.

Julia's mother started screaming and crying when the coffin was lowered. She did not want to believe that her daughter was dead. She begged for them not to lower her underground, where it would be so dark. My mom put her arm around Julia mom's shoulder and reminded her that her daughter was now in heaven.

"You still have your child!" Julia's mom shouted.

The next few days were bad for me. I suppose they call it mourning. I did not want to go to school but mom said it was best for me. I do not see how, as everything at the school reminded me of her. Mom said that time would help, and I suppose this was right, as every day became better.

It took me a few weeks to get over the death of Julia. I still missed having my best friend. I kept thinking of Julia's mother. She was alone now and the house should be so empty. I kept on thinking that I would visit her, but I did not have the guts to do so.

About 3 weeks after the funeral. I was walking home Julia's mother pulled aside me in her car. She told me that my mom asked her to drive me home. I sat in the car and was very quiet. I did not know what to say to her. It would be bad if I said that I accepted that Julia was dead and had moved on in my life. I knew that this would be impossible for any mother.

She told me that we had to go to her house first. She also asked me to give her my cell phone which was a bit strange. When I gave it to her, she said she did not like children having one.

We went into her house. It seemed so empty that Julia was not there. She took my hand and led me to Julia's bedroom which looked the same. Without saying anything, she shut the door and locked me in the room.

I could not come out, Why did she lock me in the room?