I am Not Julia - Part 3

Taylor has a best friend and when she is gone, he has to replace her. How can a boy take the place of his best friend, who is a girl?

Mrs Sullivan told me that we were going to “grannies.” I never met Julia's grandmother. I was sure that she could sort everything. It was a long trip and I fell asleep for most of it. When I was awake, Mrs Sullivan was talking with herself. It was like she had to convince herself that this trip was wise.

“ It is too dangerous in that town,” she mumbled, “ Children die and children go missing... it is too dangerous for us... people would want to bother us all the time... they might not think I can take care of you... They do not understand you're my princess and I want to protect you.”

I told Mrs Sullivan that I wanted to go home. I told her that I was not Julia and I was Taylor. I was crying as I was begging her to take me home. She did not hear what I said. All she could see was that I was crying and wearing a dress. She gave me a pacifier and told me that we will be happy at grannies. The important thing is that we would be safe! She promised me that I would love it there and I would have many friends when I was old enough to go to school.

I did not know who was crazier. Was it Mrs Sullivan that thought I was her toddler daughter? Did the grief of losing her own daughter screw with her mind so much that she could not see that I was a boy that she put in a dress and diaper? There was no doubt that this woman was totally crazy and needed to be in a padded cell!

What about me? I put up no fight as she slowly changed me to a sissy. I did not fight when she put extensions in my hair, or when she put a diaper and dress on me. I did not even spit the pacifier out. There were many times I could have escaped and I could have screamed when my mom was at the door, so she could hear me. I accepted her treating me like her daughter. The fact was that I was now sitting in a car in public, and anyone that could see me would think that I was a girl. I was afraid to escape what may happen. You never know what crazy people would do. This being said, I must have been just as crazy for allowing everything to happen.

After 5 hours of driving, we finally came to granny's house. It was a nice old house in a small town. It was like one you would hear about that people would love to own. It was a two-story house with a nice garden and white fence and flowers

Granny was surprised to see us. I think she was most surprised to see me. She starred at me as I came in and was silent when Mrs Sullivan called me Julia. She invited us to sit and have some lemonade. The old woman did not say much when we arrived. She just acted like nothing was strange.

While we were drinking lemonade, Mrs Sullivan told her mom that she was moving back home. Then she explained how dangerous it was where we lived. Children died or went missing. She kept on saying that it was not safe. She changed the subject and told her mom that she bet that it would be hard for her to recognize me. I could have laughed when granny looked at a picture on the wall of Julia and then back and me and admitted that I did change quite a lot. Mrs Sullivan explained that I grew so quickly.

Granny heard enough. She told me that I should go up to the room Mrs Sullivan had as a girl. I was hoping that she would call the police straight away. The thought went through my mind that now I had to deal with two crazy women. Most likely, it ran in the family! She showed me the room and told me that she would be back.

The room was a princess room with pictures of Disney princesses on the wall. I smiled when I saw there was a dollhouse. Otherwise, it looked like a girl's room from a half-century before. I sighed as I put the suitcase on my bed and slowly took out all the dresses, blouses and skirts as well as tights. There were, of course, no pants that could have helped remind me that I was really a boy. There were no panties that told me that wearing diapers were going to be part of my life. This was confirmed by the pacifiers and even the baby bottle that I found in the suitcase.

I heard the two women talk below. I did not know what they were saying, but at times their voices were very loud, so they must have been arguing. Most likely granny was asking who I really was and telling Mrs Sullivan that Julia was dead. I continued unpacking for some reason, although the police could be knocking the doors down to save me. The voices calmed down and it was quiet.

I dared not go down. I just sat down by the dollhouse and played with it. A small family lived in it. It had a mom and dad and a son. The dad was never home. He was always working! The mom was a good one, but she was worried. Her son was very feminine and liked wearing girl clothes. In fact, the boy considered himself a girl and thought God made a mistake in giving him a boy's body. His mom was worried about having a sissy son. This was especially because people teased him and his dad was ashamed of him. However, the sissy boy had enough love from his mom and she even started to think of him as her daughter.

My playtime with the dollhouse was interrupted. Mrs Sullivan said that we needed to go to the shop. This made my heart race quickly as it meant that I would be in public dressed like a girl. I tried telling Mrs Sullivan that I did not want to be seen with a dress on. She smiled and told me not to be such a tomboy. I told her that I was a boy and I was not Julia. Again she did not listen, she just said that we needed to change my diaper before we went.

So I was put on the bed and the old diaper was taken off. Granny was there. It was embarrassing that she could see my private parts when the diaper was taken off. I wondered if she would faint knowing that I was really a boy. I stopped thinking about how Mrs Sullivan could not see it. She was just crazy. The question was if Granny was just as crazy.

The trip to the store was the most frightening experience in my life. I was worried people would see that I was a boy and think I was a sissy. Walking through the shop doors must have been the most courageous thing I ever have done. I also noticed a missing picture of me on the door. Would people notice it was me or would they just think I was a girl?

It was easier than I thought. People just saw me as a girl and took no notice of me. There were only two incidents that went wrong.

The first was a woman that came up and asked if I was famous. Mrs Sullivan laughed and said not. The woman explained that she saw me somewhere before. Of course, she did, she saw the missing poster on the door. As she walked away, I sighed thinking I was too much of a coward to tell her who I really was.

The second incident was more embarrassing. This girl who was about 8 was staring at me. Then she tugged at her mom's skirt and said in a very loud voice that I was wearing a diaper. Her mother blushed and told her to stop making things up. Things got worse when Mrs Sullivan said in a loud voice that we mustn't forget that I needed to get more diapers. She also said that I needed a new baby bottle and bibs. The little girl told her mom “I told you so” and asked why a big girl would wear diapers. The mother did not know and praised her little girl for being potty trained. I started crying hoping that the ground would swallow me. I should never have started crying because Mrs Sullivan put a pacifier in my mouth.

When we got back to Grannies house, I ran to my room. Now I was seen as an old girl wearing diapers. What was happening to me?

Granny came up and sat down on the bed. She told me that she knew that I was not Julia and she suspected I was someone from Julia's class. I broke down in tears and told her the whole story. I told her that Julia was my best friend, and I missed her so much. I told her that it was so strange being Julia and living the life she had. Julia was gone and I missed my mother. At the same time, I was afraid of what would happen if I told people who I really was or tried to escape.

Granny gave me a hug and told me that she understood. She also missed Julia. The problem was that her daughter's mind has been affected because of the death of Julia. Mrs Sullivan had no doubt that I was Julia. The thing granny was worried about was what would happen to her daughter if she was forced to accept reality. Granny was worried that Mrs Sullivan's mind would break. She would either be very violent or end up as a vegetable.

Granny told me to give it a week or two, so she could try and slowly bring her daughter back to reality. She could see that I did not want to do this so she added that I should do it for Julia. How could I ever say no to this? I would do anything for Julia. She gave me a hug and told me that she was so grateful.

I asked about my mom and said she was so sad and worried. Granny did not answer but changed the subject by saying I was good at being a girl. She told me I must enjoy the nice dresses and life as a girl

I did not comment but noticed I had a doll in my hand.

The two weeks went slowly by. There was no change. I was still Julia and living her life. I wore one pretty dress after another. Mrs Sullivan would use a lot of time brushing my hair and putting it in pigtails. I could not see that she was becoming more normal. In fact, she was becoming crazier. She was treating me more and more like a baby. I had diapers most of the time and used things such as pacifiers and bottles. She even made me sit in a high chair.

One day, she said she had a surprise for me. So Mrs Sullivan and I went on a drive. I was used to being in public now, so it did not bother me as much. She told me we were going to the Waterland. I loved swimming and did not even consider the problems it could have by swimming.

I would soon find out.

Things started well. We got changed and I had this one-piece swimming costume on. It was pink with Barbie as a mermaid on the front of it. I did not complain, To be honest, I did not think about being a boy anymore. It was like that I just considered myself a girl as I acted and did things like a girl. Maybe this was after weeks of living as one and maybe I was brainwashed.

Swimming was fun as we splashed around in the water. I think it was the first time in weeks that I was so happy. The other time I was happy was when I was taking care of my doll or playing with the dollhouse. Now, I was splashing around in the water and having fun. I wished that this would never end.

Everything went fine until we were done, and ready to go back to the female changing rooms to get changed. This was no problem when we came as we got changed in a cubical so no one could see me.

“ Sorry, you cannot go in there.” a lifeguard said.

“ What is the meaning of this?” Mrs Sullivan asked

“ Transgenders must get changed in the handicapped changing room. This is our policy”

“ How dare you call Julia a transgender. She is just different from other girls.”

The lifeguard pointed down at my privates and the swimming costume clearly showed a sign that I was not a girl. This embarrassed me and I wondered how many others in Waterland could see the same. The lifeguard said that he would call the police if we argued about where we should get changed.

Mrs Sullivan was upset when we waited for our clothes and when we got changed in the handicapped room. She was saying that we were treated wrong, and how dare people imply that I was a sissy. I tried telling her that people did not have to be blind to see it, but once again she did not hear me. Mrs Sullivan was in a bad mood all the way home. I just sat and thought how crazy could she be, that she did not see what others have seen,

The whole experience was a lot for everyone. Mrs Sullivan thought that the world was crazy with all their transgender accusations and she wanted people just to leave us alone. Granny kept on telling me to give her more time, but I was becoming more and more confident that Mrs Sullivan was becoming battier.

I was also getting more and more concerned. I was still afraid of what would happen if I escaped and the consequences were a responsibility I could not deal with. I missed my mother as much as ever but felt so sorry for my best friend's mother. I was doing this for Julia. Is this what she really wanted?

Another thing that worried me was that at times I forgot I was a boy. I was now used to dressing as a girl. I liked looking pretty and I loved it when Mrs Sullivan brushed my hair. The fact was that I should not have wanted to look pretty, but I honestly did! Even the diapers did not bother me anymore. The fact was that after weeks of not being on the toilet, I needed them. I had no longer control of my bladder. I even liked the attention I got when I was treated like a baby.

I was now a sissy baby

Mrs Sullivan came home one day and was in a great mood.

“ Julia,” she announced, “ I have something good to tell you. I met an old school friend who is a surgeon. After some convincing and some money, I have convinced him to have you as a patient.”

“ I don't need to go to the hospital.”

“ Oh, sweet Julia. You must be embarrassed when people point at the bulge in your swimming costume and say you are a boy! Doctor Rivers will make sure you have the body of a girl and no one would be in doubt.”

I ran to my room and threw myself on the bed. Mrs Sullivan was now so crazy she wanted someone to take a knife and cut any evidence I was a boy from me. She wanted me to be a girl and have a girl's body. She wanted no one to be confused or call me transgender again. She was going to...

I did not mind wearing girls' clothes or playing like a girl. I did not want anything cut off,

Granny came into the room. I was sure she was going to convince me to go along with the operation. Instead, she gave me a telephone and told me to ring my mother. Then she walked out with tears in her eyes.

Things happened quickly after I spoke with my mom. The police came and arrested granny and Mrs Sullivan I was led out of the house wearing a dress while the media took pictures of me, and a police car drove me home.

I finally escaped.

Mom was surprised to see me as a girl, but when I told her everything, she told me that I was brave. I was of course in the news for a few weeks, as my story was so special. The main thing was that now home with my mother and things were slowly getting back to normal. It was a great relief when the media thought I was no longer interesting.

Granny was let off as she helped me escape. This being said, her reputation was ruined and people thought she had a strange daughter. She lost her friends and everyone considered her as the crazy woman that lived in the house at the edge of town. When school children heard her name, they would surely be afraid!

As for Mrs. Sullivan. The court wanted to be compassionate with her. After all, she lost her daughter and this should happen to anyone. She was sent to a mental asylum.

As for me, I was once again myself. I once again was wearing boy's clothes, which was very strange. I tried not to think about looking pretty, but I could not stop. When mom took me to get my hair cut, I begged her not to cut it short. A compromise was reached, where I had long hair... but not that long.

My bladder was very weak, so I needed diapers until I could strengthen it again. Mom did not like this and I was teased at school. I didn't mind. I felt secure when I had them on and I liked the extra attention I got.

Mom was nice about things. She knew she now had a feminine son, or as some would say a sissy one. She allowed me to keep the doll and she even bought a dollhouse for me. Of course, she thought it was just a phase. It was no phase.

I still had feelings for Mrs. Sullivan, She was like my second mother. I wanted to visit her. Again mom agreed to this. We agreed on a day when we would visit Mrs. Sullivan.

We argued before we went, as when I was ready to go and went downstairs, Mom got mad and said she could not accept it. I was dressed as Julia with a dress, tights, and sandals on. Mom told me to dress as a boy, We had an argument over it as I told her that Mrs. Sullivan did not know me as Taylor. In her eyes, I was Julia. This calmed mom down and she agreed that it was considerate of me.

On the way out to the car, she must have been thinking of it as she said when we got home, we would have a talk about if I felt more like a girl than a boy.

At the Asylum home, Mrs. Sullivan was sitting at a rocking chair singing lullabies to herself.

She smiled at me when she saw me.

“ Julia, they let you visit me! I knew all their talk that you were dead were just their games!

The End

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