Easy As Calling For A Mic.
by Angharad Bonzifeeder
part:305

I called Stella and asked her to bring some jewellery with her for me to look at. While Simon was still in the shower, I dressed and rushed down to the cleaners with my suit, the blouse I could press myself.

They ran one of these steam things over it, looked like a contraption that should be fitted to a vacuum cleaner, but it took out the wrinkles. I thought I'd keep it in mind when for I got older and things started heading south!

I got back to the house just as Simon was boiling the kettle for his coffee, I had some tea and toast. Then I cleaned through, while Simon read the Bible again - I could hardly complain could I, although the phrase, 'when I became a man, I put away childish toys,' somehow didn't apply to him.

I eventually put away my big girl's toys, the vac and the duster, and the ironing board and organised the soup for our lunch - enough for four - then put on a bread mix to eat with it. Fresh veg soup and fresh bread, should be good.

Finally I went up and showered and dried my hair. I fiddled with it, but then decided to let Stella do it for me, if she made it in time. They were suposedly on their way by now, and the intention was for us all to have a snack, go to the funeral at three and then to the buffet afterwards. What they were going to do afterwards, I didn't know, but I half assumed they'd go back to Portsmouth.

I got Simon to move the dressing table back in case I needed to put either Tom or Stella in the front bedroom. I'd have to make up beds, but I wasn't going to worry about that until I had to.

Our visitors arrived about twelve, Stella looked really nice in a 'Stella McCartney' outfit, the cost of which I dreaded to think about. I was surprised she'd driven up in it, but she had. She looked much better than when I'd last seen her. Tom was as unchanging as the moon - okay, I know it has phases, but you get my drift, it's been there quite a long time.

I was wearing a jogging suit and got the lunch ready, Stella came and talked to me, we'd had a hug when she'd arrived. "I'm sorry about your dad."

"It's okay, it was always on the cards, and at least we parted as friends."

"Yeah, that was good. But we sort of did so with your mother too."

I'd almost forgotten she was with me when my mother had died, the 'two angels.' I told her about my experience with the visitation and how it had been 'verified' the next day, by the key under the floor boards.

She shivered and said, "Ghosties and ghoulies and things that go bump in the night, good lord deliver us."

"Burns?"

"Aye hen," she said and we both giggled.

We ate and the conversation ranged across numerous things. Stella and I washed up while the boys decided who would win the Six Nations, Wales seemed to be the team to beat, and Simon was sure the French would do it. Tom wasn't at all sure, and fancied Wales to go all the way.

I didn't much care, cycling was my sport and the world track championships in Manchester would be my next major sporting interest, although I was also hoping I could start to ride a bit myself. Things were a little easier in the bedroom, although I was still a bit tender in a certain place. If it came to the choice, I suspected much as I loved Simon, I'd pick cycling most of the time.

Stella came up and did my hair putting it up for me, better than I'd ever manage it myself. I'd showed her the hat. She got hers from the car while I got dressed. She wore a large brimmed hat which drooped across her eyes a little, it suited her, I didn't think I'd be able to wear it, but then I had my little one with the veil.

"Is there something you want to tell me about Simon and you?" She asked me as she came back to the bedroom.

"We're having some, you know," I said.

"conjugals?"

"Yes, that will do, conjugals."

"What about the ring?"

"Oh that one," I blushed and felt the band of gold on my finger. "Simon told my 'orrible aunt that we were married."

"God, I hope he remembers."

"You make it sound as if he may not."

"He's no good as a liar because he has such a poor memory."

"Oh dear," I shrugged. I'd put on the blouse while Stella had gone to the car and was pulling up my tights.

"So Lady Catherine, if you go in a blouse and tights, you'll cause the biggest stir since the witches in MacBeth served up their eye of newt soup on the blasted heath."

"Lady Stella, I may be controversial, but not that much. I shall wear this," so saying I pulled the suit out from the wardrobe.

"Hey, that looks interesting," said my 'sister in law to be.'

"I thought so as soon as I saw it. I pulled on the skirt and then the jacket. Finally putting on the hat with Stella's help.

"I love the dormouse," she drooled.

"That was Simon's contribution."

"Did his friend Tim, make it?"

"Yes, it's rather lovely isn't it."

"So what about some lippy?"

"What d'ya think about some red lipstick?" I asked her.

"Not a lot, a dark pink would be better."

I used the dark pink. The jewellery we kept to a minimum, just diamond ear studs, which I already had. I spritz of perfume and a quick check of my eyemakeup, and we were ready. I had remembered to use waterproof mascara.

"Goodness, who are these ladies, Simon?" said Tom teasingly.

"A couple of slappers who seem to hang around me, why?"

"Trust you to bring it all down to an earthy level," I gently chided him.

"Lady C, you look a million dollars," he added to rescue himself.

"What!" I exclaimed, "Only a million? In that case I require a refund!"

Everyone laughed at my retort, but Stella absolutely squealed when I reminded Simon about his Bible.

"Simon, reading the Bible, give over."

"Oh yes, he reads it everyday."

"What? I don't believe it!"

"I think Victor Meldrew has the copyright on that line. Besides, he's reading the lesson for the service."

"I'm sure you know what you're doing, but I wouldn't have asked him."

"You're only jealous," said the older sibling.

"Of you, fat boy? Ha!"

"Yes me, hag-face!"

"Children, children, please can we show a little decorum?" I shouted over the two of them. A few blushes later, they complied with my request.