Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2113

The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2113
by Angharad

Copyright © 2013 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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I found my way to the master bed chamber and after cleaning my teeth slipped in beside the sleeping Simon. Once I got used to the squeaky brass bedstead and the feather mattress, I was asleep quite quickly and stayed that way until I was awoken by Simon poking me.

“Wha?”

“Little Lizzie wants her breakfast.”

“Yeah,” I muttered and tried to go back to sleep.

“She wants her breakfast.”

“Well give it to her then,” I said irritatedly.

“I can’t can I?”

I sat up rubbing my eyes, “Why not?”

“I’m somewhat lacking in the mammary department.”

“What?” I snapped at him.

“No tits.”

“Bloody men,” I grumbled as I pulled on a robe and went to lift the now soggy morsel out of her cot. “Oh god, she stinks like a urinal.” I picked her out and took her through to the bathroom where I laid her on a bath towel and stripped her before wiping her with a flannel and dried her with the towel–at least I could face her being within the same room now.

I found her case and pulled out a disposable nappy–yes I do use the odd one, and she’s going to poo as soon as she has her milk. While I dressed her I sent Simon to make some tea and by the time he was back with it I was feeding the little one from the breast.

“You look so good doing that,” he said smiling.

“Very funny.”

“No I mean it, it looks so natural.”

“Well of course it does, she’s sucking out a fluid which is manufactured in my boobs, which I believe is normally termed, natural. But being a biologist what do I know?”

“Why do you always take things the wrong way?”

“Because it implies it isn’t natural.”

“Oh, sorry, that wasn’t what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?”

“You’re not her mother but you look as if you should be.”

“You told me I wasn’t to steal anyone else’s children.”

“Very funny. You know perfectly well what I meant. You look as natural as if you were the child’s natural mother. It was meant as a compliment.”

“Thank you, I just felt defensive in case you were trying to imply I wasn’t a natural female. I was wrong, sorry–I guess I’m still tired.”

“I’m not surprised, a long drive on your own after a conference.”

“Yeah, I seemed to leave my sense of humour behind.

He snorted but I didn’t say anything, deciding that I could always kill him later.

Once tiny wee was fed and left to recline in her seat, I went and showered. Thankfully the plumbing has all been replaced with modern electric showers and there’s a generator in the court yard if we have power cuts. The warm water refreshed me and after dressing in jeans, shirt and sweater plus training shoes I was ready for some breakfast.

I looked out across the moor and it looked grey and gloomy, real dreich. This could be a disaster of a holiday if the weather breaks now.

“I’ve ordered tea and some poached eggs on toast for your breakfast, hope that’s okay?”

“But I usually have just a piece of toast.”

“I’d like to do some walking today.”

“Carry on, not sure I want to.”

“Oh c’mon, Cathy. We hardly do anything together except squabble.” I actually felt fractious enough to be able to squabble with myself.

Just then, the door burst open and Trish and Meems came dashing in, “Mummeeee,” seemed to be their battle cry as they hurled themselves at me. A few minutes later, they’d calmed down and as we went to breakfast in the dining hall below they told me all about the ball and how special they’d felt dancing in long dresses with plaids on their shoulders.

“How did Danielle do?” I asked.

“Oh one of the boys liked her rather a lot, they danced together several times, didn’t they, Meems?”

“Yes, his name is Wichard Walph.”

“Richard Ralph?”

“Yes, ’s what I said wannit?”

I was beginning to think I needed a holiday–on a desert island–though with my luck a cruise liner would run aground the next day.

Breakfast was delicious, the eggs being provided by the estate farm–I suggested to Simon that the children would probably enjoy visiting that. He said he’d arrange it but they’d need time to make sure things were safe for children to be wandering around–farms being dangerous places. I agreed, so would lots of badgers and foxes.

It was Tuesday and the barn dance would be that Saturday. I had dresses for everyone–except Simon–duh. They’d been laid across the cases in the boot of my car, each one in a separate zip up bag and these were now hanging in each of the girl’s bedrooms, including one for Danielle and one for me as well–though I wanted to see the barn before I decided which shoes I wore–a rough floor would require lower thicker heels.

Danielle and Cindy came in as we were finishing our breakfast. “Wow, this place’s magic, innit?” announced Cindy.

I felt like asking her if she’d seen the ghost yet, but held my tongue. “Daddy’s going to arrange for you to visit the estate farm later.”

“Yeah, okay,” said Danni dismissively, “Did you see the shields and swords in this room?” and he dragged her off towards the main sitting room.

“Didn’t the grouse season start recently?”

“I thought you could grouse any time of the year,” he threw back at me. Perhaps I’d asked for it so I didn’t retaliate. “Oh the grouse shooting season? Yeah, yesterday.”

The glorious twelfth, yeah just ask any grouse.

“You’re not planning on doing any shooting, are you?”

“Ah no, my wife would kill me.” Damn he knows.

“I’m bored,” said Trish.

“You’re on holiday, how can you be bored?” I asked her.

“Well the broadband is so slow here, it’s like constipated.”

“It is a bit slow,” confirmed Simon, “especially the wi-fi; it doesn’t like four feet thick walls.”

“Hardly surprising,” I commented though I was thinking what we’d do for the rest of the day and if I’d need to express any milk for the baby. The housekeeper, Mrs Cuddy, introduced a young woman as Moira, who was a qualified nursery nurse and who’d be taking care of the two little ones if we wanted to get off somewhere.

I introduced Lizzie and Cate to Moira who seemed to know how to charm them and she took them off while Simon explained about the ten mile hike we were going to do. He was joking, I hoped.

Everyone was sent to change into walking clothes and Mrs Cuddy had provided us with a packed lunch. I shoved the plastic box with the food into my backpack, along with my compass, OS map and penknife, mobile phone and torch. I also had a walking cape and first aid kit. The cape fits over my rucksack and keeps it dry as well. I changed into thicker socks and my walking boots plus gaiters–it looked like rain, while I waited for the others to return to the kitchen similarly clad. I thought I’d packed jeans for Danni as well but it appeared I hadn’t, oh well, she can walk in a skirt–it won’t kill her.

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