(aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2170 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad
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“Why’s everyone looking so…?” asked David as he came in to organize lunch.
“Uptight?” offered Jacquie.
“Yeah, that’ll do–well someone going to tell me?”
“The guy who forced his way in on Saturday is pretending he’s crazy so they won’t take him to court.”
“Dunno about him, but that’s crazy.”
“It’s how some people manipulate the legal system.”
“So does that mean he’ll get off?”
“Oh yes,” I said and poured myself some more tea and offered the pot to David who nodded.
“That’s so wrong.”
“Isn’t it just.”
“Can’t you tell the echo?”
“If I did they’d want to know why he’d broken in.”
“Oh–so what’re you going to do?”
“I’ve left that up to Jason, my counsel, to do what is likely to have the best outcome for us.”
“He should know, I s’pose.”
“I do hope so otherwise I’m spending loads for nothing.”
“He’ll see you right,” commented Stella.
“Yeah, he’s okay, I’ve got some survey work to do.” I left them talking and went to the study sending Si a text about what Jason had said. He texted back saying he was disappointed for me but not surprised.
Instead of dealing with the work in front of me as I should have been doing, I was racking my brain for some way of getting back on him. Nothing was coming and when David banged the gong at twelve thirty I realized I’d wasted two whole hours seeking revenge. I tried then to let it go.
Danni limped out to the table in the kitchen to get her lunch. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” I asked.
“Oh it’s nothing, Mummy, it’s where I bashed against the wall the other day.”
“You mean when Swithinbank hurled you against it?”
“Yes.”
“I thought Trish was blue lighting you?”
“Yeah, it’s getting better, it’s just a bit slow.”
“You want me to do it?”
She shrugged.
We finished our scrambled eggs on toast and after a cuppa, I did some healing on Danni, she didn’t seem much better. “Would you like me to take you to see Dr Smith?”
“Nah, I’ll be alright, Mummy.” She limped back to finish her homework.
I felt so inadequate. I hadn’t been able to protect her against that lunatic and his dogmatic ideas of religion and gender. I really wanted to punish him and the poxy congregation who sent him.
I left early to get the girls sussing out the chapel place that Swithinbank and Curry attended. I was next to a vacant lot they used for car parking and a plan hatched in my mind. They say that revenge is a dish best eaten cold, it would be very cold by the time I’d finished.
I asked Jim to find out who owned the vacant lot while I sat waiting for the girls to leave school. He was back some half an hour later, the council did. I asked him to contact them with a view to developing the site and either buying or leasing it from them.
“Okay, what sort of project are you wanting to develop, Cathy?”
“If it was legal I’d have built a whorehouse there, but it isn’t.”
“What next to a church?”
“That church, yes.”
“Given it’s not possible without a massive culture taste, what else would you like to build there?”
“I don’t know which would piss them off more, a betting shop or an amusement arcade, or even an off licence.”
“What did they do to annoy you, prove God’s existence?”
“If they did that in a proper scientific way, I’d be prepared to admit I was wrong, but as they can’t possibly do it one way or another, I’m fairly safe I think.”
“Ooh, do I detect uncertainty?”
“Only insofar as you sounding convincing about buying or renting it.”
“Ouch, the lady has genuine barbs.”
“Stop calling me Babs.”
“I said barbs, Cathy.”
“I distinctly heard you say babs.”
“Must be your ears girl, they say you get deafer as you get old.”
“I must be, I could have sworn I heard you insult me, but as you’re still alive I must be mistaken.” He went rather quiet after that.
“So what’s the plan, then?”
“To acquire the site and build something that annoys them, with a view to build something on their site as well.”
“They have annoyed you, you’re not planning on developing Portsmouth cathedral site as well?”
“Not unless the bishop offends me.”
“He hasn’t so far, has he?”
“Good lord no. He’s quite charming.”
“What you know him?”
“I wouldn’t say that, but I have met him a few times.”
“And he doesn’t have hang-ups about gender fluidity?”
“Not as far as I know.”
“Pity, it’s a big site.”
“Yes I know, possibly because it’s a big church.”
“Isn’t that usually the case with cathedrals?”
“Probably,” I agreed.
“So why d’you want to screw this chapel?”
“They’ve offended me.”
“What personally?”
“Yes.”
“What’d they do–sing too loud?”
“No, they sent two of their stupider congregants to try and scare us.”
“Scare as in knocking on the door to talk about Jesus?”
“No, that I’d have happily coped with.”
“Not the boiling oil from the bathroom window again?”
“Damn, you know my secrets.”
“Yeah well…”
“No, I had one come round purporting to be from a children’s protection society and the other tried to break in and assault us. He knocked down Tom and threw Danni into a wall before I downed him.”
“You downed him?”
“Yes, why not?”
“What’s that idiot husband of yours doing?”
“He was out.”
“What’s wrong with conventional seeking of damages?”
“I’d like to make sure I had the right cathedral.”
“Couldn’t you do that via the courts?”
“Not this time, the guy has declared himself as unfit to plead.”
“What did you do to him?”
“Nothing much.”
“I’ve seen you in action, Cathy, remember?”
“That was in my younger days.”
He snorted down the phone, “Oh bugger, I’ve got snot all over the handset.”
I tittered at the other end while I listened to sounds of him trying to clean it. A few minutes later he spoke again. “Right you want me to acquire the site next to the chapel?”
“Yep, I’ve sent you a google map for clarification.”
“Yeah, I’ve got that, thanks.”
“As soon as you’ve got planning permission I want that quick erected fencing round it to stop them parking.”
“Yeah, I get the plan.” James was actually relishing the job, “Is it worth it just for a few minutes annoyance?”
“Oh definitely. Liaise with Maureen, she might know some local types who can do the fencing–oh she’d possibly help with the tech drawing as well.”
“Can do that on my Mac.”
“Is that the regulation trench coat?”
“What?” he said.
“The private eye’s trench coat, you know the uniform of the private detective or police.”
“No my Mac–as in Apple Mac.”
“That won’t keep the rain off you, buy an umbrella.”
“Gotta go, Cathy–oh how much d’ya want to speculate?”
“As much as it takes.” I was prepared to take some risks for this mission to make them pay.
Comments
Now her ire is up.
I could see her building a GLBT center there. :)
Gwendolyn
*GIGGLE* *GIGGLE*, A little too ironic...
...and, yeah, I really do think...
... that Cathy would not wish that 'church' on any LGBT community.
ALANIS MORISSETTE 'IRONIC'
Thanks for the *Giggle* Gwen.
Great chapter as usual, Angharad.
Action!!
It's always something I've dreamed of: To be able to afford a really good revenge
have to agree with that
In the us cathy could put up a no parking sign then have all the cars towed away when they ignored it.
Could be...
Could be an LGBT center, as suggested earlier.
Depending on the group - could also be a women's health clinic... Over here, one that provided advice on birth control would likely really get the ire up of a "congregation" such as describe.
Other things - a homeless shelter. Why is it that so many of those "holier than though" groups don't want to be near a shelter?
Of course, this group could just be anti Trans - and have no problem with the other things like LGB or homeless...
I'm sure other legal "annoyance" facilities could be identified, too...
Annette
Cool!
I love that idea of revenge!
A homeowner across the street from one of our more vocally nasty fundie churches had his home repainted with the rainbow flag. Apparently the screaming idiots at Westboro are a tad unhappy about that...
Thanks for another great episode!
Abby
Perhaps there is an Atheist's
Perhaps there is an Atheist's society that would like it's own meeting hall?
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
That's rather like ...
... having a none cricket club for people who have no interest in cricket. I find I can disbelieve in god without needing to join an atheists' association. No I think buying the land and fencing it off will probably be sufficient, particularly if you manage to persuade the council to paint double yellow lines on the road as well.
Not sure if pleading unfit because of insanity is getting away with it. You could find yourself sectioned and put away in a mental hospital for a much longer time than you'd spend in prison.
Robi
But He IS Insane !
People who believe the impossible things that these so called religious fundies say they believe ARE mad ! Sectioning a man who attacks young girls or boys and physically harms them, and that force their way into other peoples' homes, and attack elderly gentlemen, really are dangerous lunatics.
Besides, the big joke is that, by pleading insanity, the stupid bloke is admitting that what he claims to believe in his "faith" IS nonsense ! I should imagine that any half decent lawyer would be able to tie him up in mental knots and have him visibly exposing how totally confused and non-functional he is !
Usually it is best to just ignore these fundy types, but now and again one encounters one that really deserves to be given back the stuff he doles out to those that do not see things his or her way.
Back when I was a student one called on me in my flat one saturday morning. I invited her in and convinced her of the truth in the work of a certain Karl Marx, whose boring, long, repetitive book I had just read, and sent her away a newly converted communist, just for the fun of it. (I should explain that this was in London, England, at a time when there were a couple of Members of Parliament that were in that political party and it was all perfectly legal. In Britain we let them preach their ideas in the open and the People laughed at them and made them quietly fade away, without it costing the government anything - an infinitely cleverer solution than the one adopted in the USA imho, where oppression drove them underground and made them far more dangerous.)
Briar
my idea would be a shelter
my idea would be a shelter for abused women, with emphasis on MTFs and former prostitutes.
I wonder how many wives of the congregation's members would find their way in. And how many of the former prostitutes would recognize former clients.
Revenge is sweet as long as .....
.... other factors are not overlooked.
I'm really loving the idea that some fundamentalists (see - they even have the word 'mental' as part of their description!) are due for a comeuppance.
However, in that euphoria, I have to confess concern about the damage to Danni, that seems to be resisting any blue lightedness.
Has Swithinwanker actually done some lasting damage?
Yours,
worried of Tunbridge Wells.
Danni seems to
be suffering a little with the after effects of being thrown into a wall, Perhaps Cathy need to insist that she sees a doctor, There could well be something hidden that requires urgent treatment. Not being medically trained i have no idea of what may be the cause, But one thing that does come to mind is blood clots, I think we all know what could happen there...
Kirri
I think Gwen's suggestion works.
I think and LGBT centre might be a splendid new occupant for the vacant site but somehow I think the poor old local chief constable might have some reservations.
Still lovin' it Ang.
X
Bevs.