(aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2133 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad
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Danni checked her emails while I went to shower when I returned she was crying again. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” I asked going to comfort her.
“That boy, he’s threatening to make life bad for me.” She showed me the email, it wasn’t very nice threatening to expose her on twitter–probably already had; on friend’s facebook pages and in person when they all went back to school. The language was very coarse and lacking in both vocabulary and imagination. It told her to take down the stuff on his facebook page or face the consequences.
“I don’t think apart from the lack of courtesy and grammar, we can do him for much, unless it’s under the obscenity laws, and that would be useless. All I can think we do is face him down.”
“What does that mean?”
“You put up a photo of yourself as a boy and as a girl and say, this is me, sometimes I like to pretend I’m a girl.”
“You’re joking,” she shrieked at me.
“I wasn’t. If you declare it, people might laugh at you for five minutes but by next week someone else will be the target for gossip.”
“They’ll beat me up, call me names and accuse me of being gay. I might as well be dead.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, being dead is a long term solution to a temporary problem.”
“Ha, it’s all right for you to talk, it’s not your life they’re going to end.”
“Danni, calm down. I’m on your side remember.”
“Yeah, but you might as well be with that creep–all the stupid things you’re saying.”
“Danni, I know you’re upset but I’d ask for a degree of courtesy from you.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m your mother, remember–and in case you’ve forgotten, I’ve been there and dealt with it.”
“What you got beaten up in school?”
“Yes, several times.”
“Why?”
“Because they thought I was gay.”
“Why?”
“Because I sported a girl’s haircut, which almost came down to the middle of my back; because I was useless at sport and a bit of a swot. The headmaster didn’t like me–he saw me as an offence against nature, and if you remember, I was forced to play Lady Macbeth in the school play, and to wear girl’s clothes during the lead up and run of the play.”
“You went to school as a girl?”
“For a few weeks, yes. They sent me to the girl’s school one day to embarrass me.”
“You look like a real girl, Mummy, how didn’t they see it?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart, possibly because they weren’t as enlightened as they are today. The doctors weren’t as knowledgeable and while I don’t watch documentaries on the telly about gender things, I suppose they’ve done a lot of good in educating some of the public.”
“They haven’t educated Jack Gilbert, have they?”
“It begins to look that way, doesn’t it? I still think he’s trying to hide something, his transphobic/homophobic aggression is over the top.”
“You think he’s gay?”
“He might well be.”
Danni fiddled with her computer and laughed. “Look at this.” She showed me his facebook page where Sammi’s friend had added a picture of a fairy tattoo and the caption, ‘I’m gonna get one of these as soon as I can afford it.’
Danni’s mobile peeped indicating a text. She opened it, “It’s from Gilbert, says, ‘Stop messing with my facebook page.’” She texted back, that it wasn’t her but she thought the tattoo would suit him.
Back came the retort, ‘Gonna cut you bad, maiden.’
“Save that, Danni, I’m going to speak with the police.”
“I don’t want the cops walking all over me in their big boots.”
“You’ll do as you’re told, young lady.”
“Part of me thinks I should change back, so if there is any fightin’ I’ve got a better chance.”
“Just don’t start carrying any sort of weapon with you.”
“I wasn’t goin’ to, well maybe my cricket bat.”
“You could kill someone with one of those.”
“Yeah, but only if I really tried.”
“Be careful.”
“I will.”
“So have you decided what you want to do?”
“Yeah, I’m going back to school as a boy.”
“Okay, what would you like me to do to help?”
“Have we got any nail varnish in Chelsea colours?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I’m gonna paint my toenails blue and my fingernails.”
“Isn’t that unwise–verging on provocative?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Will the school allow it?”
“It can’t stop me, the girls are allowed to do it, so the boys should be too.”
“The girls are allowed to wear skirts but I wouldn’t suggest you did it.”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Because it’s tantamount to a kamikaze flight.”
“You were the one to suggest facing them down, I want to go as a boy wearing the girl’s uniform.”
“I think you might lose the support of the school if you did that.”
“Why? I’d be sticking to the rules.”
“No you’d be twisting the rules and besides they might get the wrong idea that you want to be a girl all the time.”
“It’s tempting and when I think of Alice and what she did, it makes me angry. I want to protest at all the creeps who made her do what she did.”
“They didn’t force her to take her own life, she chose to do that.”
“What about that girl who killed herself recently?”
“Hannah Smith?”
“Yeah, I think so, she was bullied on facebook an stuff.”
“She was bullied.”
“Someone needs to show them where to get off.”
“And you think wearing a girl’s uniform is going to achieve that, do you?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Because I suspect it’s only going to make you look stupid.”
“I look stupid in a skirt, do I?”
“No, you actually looked very nice the past couple of weeks, but that’s different to wearing nail varnish and skirt. No one knew you weren’t a girl until the shopping trip, if you wear a girl’s uniform, even with wig and makeup, they’re going to know you’re a boy.”
“Yeah, but that’s the point isn’t it? To show I’m a boy an’ I don’t care what they think.”
“Danni, that is a huge step to take. Please think carefully about it.”
“That’s what I wanna do, do one for Alice.”
“But she’s not going to know is she? Neither is anyone else who knew her. You’d be throwing yourself on the barricades for nothing.”
“Barricades? What are you on about?”
“It’s an expression about pointless self sacrifice.”
“What d’you mean, pointless?”
“What I say, it might make you feel better until the first fight occurs or some teacher makes an unhelpful remark or allows others to do so, or someone complains about which toilet you’re using–or the papers get hold of it.”
“Why would the papers get hold of it?”
“Duh? How often do you see boys wearing skirts to school–your school in particular?”
“They don’t.”
“So you’d be local interest story and the echo would be after you for an interview, taking pictures of you with or without your consent.”
“They can’t do that, can they?”
“They can, and it could also lead back here and reflect on Trish and Julie and Cindy as well, especially if Jack Gilbert gets wind of it.”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Danni, your idea is very noble but not very wise. Think on it, I need to sort out the others.”
Comments
That's the trouble.
We tee-girls can be as brave as we like and survive any abuse or ridicule that might come our way. The trouble is, others are affected by our actions and they can also suffer the hurts.
That's a tee-girl's Achilles heel. If they love somebody else; that somebody can get hurt; hard.
Good chapter Ang' exquisitely exposing the difficulties of tee-people addressing their own issues and needs whilst struggling to accommodate others.
Bevs.
Feel like this is leading up to something really nasty
and hoping the family comes out intact and on top.
You're...
You're going somewhere with this, but I'm not sure where, yet...
I wonder how many episodes until we find out. :-)
Thanks,
Annette
P.S. Dan*'s really having to deal with some REALLY DEEP issues... Glad Cathy's TRYING to help.
Nice idea Danni
had, but Cathy is correct when she says actions such as that will bring unwanted attention on her sisters, Something which i am sure everyone would much rather avoid ...
I guess it would help if Danni was a little more certain about where her future lay , Not sure (s)he really knows though, With some of her actions whilst in Danni mode you would think that is more the real person than her Danny alter-ego ... if only it was that simple ... Just as you think " yes! she finally knows what she wants" Danny suddenly reappears in full boy mode and once again confusion reigns.... Seems to me that this is one problem which will keep everyone guessing, Including Danni/ Danny...
Kirri