The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2178 by Angharad Copyright © 2013 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

The girls went off to change and I fixed them a drink and biscuit, switched on the kettle and then looked at the instructions from David. He’d done all the preparation so all I had to do was turn the gas on under the veg and turn the oven up a fraction to brown the pasta dish he’d made. It was too early to do either and when I reread the note it began, ‘Hi Cathy, just in case I’m not back in time could you...’ There was half an hour to go before his instruction started so I made myself some tea when Jacquie appeared with Lizzie and Cate. I made a fuss of both the babies and told Jacquie there was tea in the pot, she poured herself a cup then gave Cate a drink and a biscuit while I took Lizzie and bared a breast for her to start feeding.

The little monkey was nibbling me as much as she was sucking and twice I pulled her off my breast because it felt like I had a ten pound piranha attached. She eventually got the message and just sucked me inside out instead.

Jacquie sat opposite me and watched lovingly. “You know, Jac, I think I’ve realised why my boobs are so big.”

“All the milk isn’t it?”

“No, I think she’s sucked my lungs into them. I’ve had vacuum cleaners with less suction.”

Jacquie laughed which interrupted my mini-vacuum who laughed as well and was promptly sick–all over my clean trousers. Jacquie jumped up and passed me a towel, so I was able to dry some of it up before it soaked through the material but it looked as if I was destined to get damp today.

After feeding my piranha I handed her to Jacquie to change her nappy while I got on with the dinner, it was all nearly done when David came back looking very pleased with himself.

“She’s a nice little runner in great nick.”

“Have you spoken to Simon about a loan yet?”

“Not had a chance, will do that tonight.”

“Have you made an offer for the car?”

“Oh yeah, three grand.” He smiled as if he’d got himself a real bargain I just hope Simon can arrange him a loan for that sort of money otherwise it will be a case of counting chickens. I suppose I could advance him the money if he has problems with the bank but I’d prefer to stay out of it taking the advice of the old saw, ‘Never a borrower or a lender be.’

Simon and Sammi arrived moments before Julie. The rain continued to fall and they dashed in through the door nearly colliding in the process. I teased them by saying, “It’s only pasta bake you know,” which went right over Simon’s head–like most things.

“Oh goody,” declared Julie, “I could eat a horse.”

“We haven’t got any lasagne left,” I retorted and she paused for a moment before giving me a chuckle showing her naturally even teeth. Why she didn’t have a boyfriend surprised me as she was a very pretty girl, not as glamorous as Sammi but certainly very pretty.

“You seeing Rudi tonight?” I asked Sammi.

“No, tomorrow and, sister dear, he’s bringing his friend with him, so we have a double date.”

“Tomorrow–nah, can’t do that.” Julie dismissed Sammi and went upstairs to her room.

Sammi looked crestfallen, “I’ve pestered the life out of him to bring a friend with him and she turns me down.”

I nodded and went up after Julie, I knocked and entered her room. “What have you got on tomorrow that’s so important?”

“Nothing why?”

“So why did you turn down Sammi’s offer?”

“I don’t want her charity.”

“I thought you were desperate for a date?”

“Needy, not bloody desperate–I’ll bet he’s a cockeyed dwarf with a hump and hair growing on the palms of his hands.”

“What about all this inner beauty you keep talking about?”

“Me? Nah, I deal with external stuff, I’m a beautician remember?”

“I might be ageing, Julie, but I’m not that old yet that I forget what my children do.”

“Okay, is that it?” She stood facing me holding a top against her which I presumed she was about to don.

“More or less, except I think you should go out with Sammi and her friends.”

“I’ll find my own, if that’s all right with you, Mummy?”

I shook my head and left her to dress.

“Is she coming tomorrow?” asked Sammi quietly as we descended the stairs.

“Doesn’t look like it. I think she’s got a bad case of injured pride.”

“Why?”

“I think she wants to attract someone herself and feels embarrassed that you seem to be able to do so at will.”

“Oh because she’s been a woman longer and is post op?”

“I think that might be a part of it.”

“Yeah, okay I can see that bit but I travel on a train twice a day which is full of single men. That’s why it’s so easy. They’d ask me out if I was a cockeyed, hunchback dwarf.”

It surprised me that they seemed to consider the same phenotype as the antithesis of physical attractiveness–coincidence or what?

“What shall I tell Rudi?” she continued, “He asked Steffan to come especially.”

“Why are you asking me?”

“You’re a bit more experienced in these things, Mummy.”

Am I hell? Perhaps as in loco parentis I should be, but should and am are different beasts. My experience is probably more limited than Trish’s and certainly more so than either Julie or Sammi who seems to have had boyfriends aplenty compared to me. I accept I’ve fancied one or two rather attractive men but actual dates have been very limited–like one–Simon.

“Not necessarily, dear, we all do this differently.”

“Oh, but you’ve been a woman for years.”

“Look, darling, I was even more shy than you and when Daddy asked me out, he was practically my first.” He was my first but I don’t have to labour the point, do I?

“Gosh, I thought you’d like played the field a bit. Trish told me that you’d been out with Des and Gareth before you passed them over to Auntie Stella.”

“They were friends of mine, I wouldn’t say there was any romantic interest between us, so I didn’t just pass them over to Stella like we share clothes at times.”

“Yeah, but you’re the prettier one aren’t you, so I like thought...”

“Sammi, there’s more to life than physical looks and I wouldn’t agree that I know anyone who’s prettier than Stella, she’s a beautiful woman.”

“Yeah okay, whatever you say, Mummy.”

She went off before I bumped into Stella in the kitchen who was returning from the utility room with a pile of clean terry towel nappies. “These are yours, Missus,” she announced handing me them.

“Oh thanks for doing them.”

“I didn’t do them, Jacquie did, I just emptied the machine.”

“Well thanks for doing that.”

“’S okay.” She went into the lounge and took the nappies up to the airing cupboard. Fiona still wears the odd one at night so does Cate for that matter, but Lizzie is the major consumer in that area and will be for quite a while yet. I must call Neal again at the weekend and perhaps go and see him, I wonder if Phoebe would like to come.

I asked her, she wasn’t–too busy with her boyfriend. Julie offered to come for the ride to Guildford although I wasn’t sure that was such a good idea, especially if Steffan turns out to be a looker.