The Gowns
Finale - One Big Peaceful Family...
If you give, you will receive, dear one.
If you let go, you will lay hold of my heart.
If you change, you’ll be exactly what you are!
If you love you’ll be loved.
In fact, you’re loved already!
Previously…from A Parent’s Heart
“Go away!” Tia sobbed from just the other side of the door.
“Nope, I can’t leave until I at least get to meet my sister, okay?” The voice was only a little familiar since they had only just met in a way.
“I’ll just wait until you’re ready to meet me, okay?” Something about the voice was soothing and healing even if it was fairly new. A moment later the lock clicked open and Tia emerged slowly. She looked at Lisa who in turn looked at Jennifer. Tia stared at the older girl; it would have been entirely appropriate to note that a hero was born that day as well. She stepped closer; almost as if she was ready to pinch the girl to see if she really was there. Just getting near was just enough, and she threw herself into Jennifer’s arms and began sobbing enough to shake them both.
Marnie and Stella heard the loud crying and went to hurry down the hall. Lisa held her hand up; almost like a traffic cop rerouting cars. She smiled and gave the two the thumbs up even as her own eyes filled with tears. In that moment all three girls and both moms breathed a collective sigh of relief. It was going to be alright.
Across from the Taphouse Bar and Grill, Burlington, Vermont…
Pat turned to look across through the passenger window at the restaurant. As awkward as he felt, something good was about to happen. Three old friends were about to meet for a welcome reunion. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders and turned his attention to the woman sitting next to him; best friends since childhood, they remained close despite tragedy that ripped their lives apart. The woman smiled but said nothing. Pat breathed out an even heavier sigh, recalling the first and last time they spoke about life….
”Jeez, Terry, that’s fucking sick,” Phil snapped. He turned and faced Pat and raised his eyebrows and shrugged, looking for some help. Pat shook his head and placed his hand on Terry’s wrist,
“I think…Hell, Phil. Your…our best friend just opened up to you about the most important thing… Cut her some slack!” Pat saw that Terry was fighting back tears. The waitress walked up and set three bottles of Killian Red on the table.
“Oh, gosh. Is there something the matter?”
“It’s okay, miss, but thanks for asking.” Pat smiled and Terry nodded in agreement,
“I mean, fuck, Ter….what does Nancy say?” Phil growled,
“She…She’s known about me since before we were married,” Terry looked down and Phil’s eyes followed the gesture. For everyone’s sake, Terry had put that part of himself to rest, wanting the family secret not to be a distraction. But Billie was getting ‘older all the minute,’ as the saying goes, and Terry and Nancy felt that their well-kept secret wasn’t all that secret.
“I mean, for Christ’s sake, Ter. You could have just told us.” He stared at Terry, almost angry at the contrast. He and Pat wore polo shirts and slacks. Terry wore a teal blouse under a cream-colored vest sweater along with a white skirt. It wasn’t the first time Terri had appeared in public, but the first time either of her friends had seen her that way; in public at least. Pat showed no surprise. He squeezed Terri’s wrist,
“You knew? You fucking knew?” Left unsaid were angry feelings of betrayal.
“If she’d told you about this, do you think things would have been different?” Pat shook his head and turned to Terri; that ‘but wait, there’s more’ moment in the conversation.
“I…I’m sorry, Phil.” In the midst of the oddest but most wonderful conversation Terri would have with her best friends, she opened her blouse; only slightly revealing some cleavage under a white bra. Phil’s eyes widened. Only a few days before the three had been out jet-skiing on Burlington Bay; shirtless. Pat laughed and nodded,
“They’re real, Phil.” He eyed Terri’s bosom and nodded.
“I…it’s something we sort of deal with in my family…” her voice trailed off as Phil’s gaze lowered slightly as if to see through the table.
“Yes…that, too.” Terri hadn’t meant to be apologetic, but Phil took it further.
“That’s fucking disgusting!” As if the astounding ‘set life and logic and science on their ears’ aspect of what he was witnessing meant nothing to Phil, He stood up, spilling water all over his California Burger.
“This is too sick.” The words would have been cruel enough but for the fact that Terri died the following day.
Back in the present, lunch at the Bar and Grill…
“So Pat. I guess you want to lecture me about my son, huh?” All those years and he still held onto being obtuse almost tenaciously. Pat sighed and shook his head.
“Well, seeing how Nancy and I have seen more of Jay than you do? But no, Phil. I’m not the one who’s going to talk with you; at least I’m not the one initiating this meeting.” Pat laughed softly. As if the roles had been reversed, a gentle squeeze of the hand indicated that Phil would hear everything he needed to know.
“Phil?” The soft word was frightening enough but the voice seemed almost disembodied but for the ethereal visage before him as Terri materialized.
“Son of a bitch…” Phil dropped his glass of beer into the bowl of clam chowder.
“Son of a fucking bitch!”
Meanwhile, at Jay’s house…
Marnie’s place had literally become a house of girls. She and Jay…Jenifer had welcomed Stella and her two girls for what was turning out to be a Godsend for everyone. Stella and Marnie more than just made peace; they embraced it for their own sakes as well as their children. And Jennifer finally made peace with herself to the benefit of her step-siblings. Lisa nowhad an ally in making sure that Tia was heard. And Tia had someone who knew exactly what it meant to be a transgendered child. And it got better as Nancy and Billie arrived for lunch.
“I heard someone here needs encouragement.” Billie walked to Tia and shook her hand.
“Our club isn’t exclusive, but there are no fees except for the tears we shed for each other.” Like Jennifer, Billie was ‘appearing’ as herself for the first time to someone outside their immediate families. She did include a hug, but the handshake was like the ‘don’t worry; we understand’ greeting the girl needed.
“I…” Billie paused. She had never told a single soul; even Jennifer didn’t know. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t trust anyone else as much as she hadn’t trusted herself until just then. And while Jenn had so much to deal with, things at least weren’t complicated. Billie never saw or heard a word from her parents about the special nature of her heritage, so to speak. And neither parent realized how far reaching and special that nature was until Terry’s death; Nan discovering it from the outside, in a way, as she understood that Billie had a unique connection with Terry. And Billie found out that things were much more complicated if entirely wonderful regarding her own self and the odd formation of her family tree.
“I’ve known since I was little that I was a girl; just that things hadn’t happened yet.” Billie said, lowering her head in almost embarrassed shame over the loss of words she had. Nan stepped closer and hugged her daughter; for once again, it was the last time that Billie would be a boy in a sense. Her transformation was nothing like her father’s, in that she and Jenn and now Tia belonged to a universally hushed-up organization that accepted all who identified with a gender into which they were never born. Unlike Terry, who likely was the first and only magically transformed person in Billie’s family, the girls were destined to move into that place of womanhood with more than just a little help from doctors and nurses and kind strangers and loving family.
Except for one, it would seem….
“This is crazy.” Phil went to storm off, but two things prevented him. First, there was a hugely overwhelming curiosity as to how one of his best friends growing up, now deceased, sat in front of him in an entirely different personage than he had barely remembered; as if their last meeting had never taken place. And two, the almost vise-like grip from Terri, who held his hand and patted it in encouraging glee. Pat shook his head and smiled; it was going to entirely entertaining to see how things would work out for Phil’s change, for it was changed to which he was destined.
Terri eased up on her grip only slightly while helping Phil sit down. She handed him a glass of water, which he downed quickly.
“Let’s just take a look at things, shall we, Phil?” Her tone belied the almost conciliatory words. She truly wished for the best for her friend. Pat nodded and grinned, but kept silent.
“This is going to be a bit of a mix between ‘It’s a Wonderful Life,’ and ‘A Christmas Carol,’ but I’m not quite a ghost though Pat is likely as close to an angel as you’re going to get. And it won’t quite be like you were never born, but more like you were born twice, in a way. This time you get to see how things will play out if you don’t change, Phil. I don’t know what’s in store, but I don’t think they’re going to be very pretty!”
“Lisa? Come on!” Phil called from the car.
“I’m not goin’, Dad… not after what you did with Tia!” The girl ran back into the house and slammed the door.
Phil turned and found Terri in the car with him.
“Okay? What the hell was that all about? Me and Lisa always get along!” He shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to act innocent.
“Just one more moment of ignorance in a whole lot of months of the same, Phil. She’s tired of you picking on Tia. Ask yourself, Phil. What did that precious girl ever do to earn all this anger?”
“He and his mother lied to me.”
“Did you stop loving Stella?”
“Uh…NO!”
“”And has Tia changed at all since you learned about her?”
“That’s not the same!”
“Isn’t it? Has she changed? Or is she the same kind and considerate daughter you adopted when you married Stella?” Terri motioned to the house, and in an instant they stood in the hallway by Lisa’s bedroom.
“It’s okay, Leese…he just has a lot on his mind.” Tia shrugged. While she had been crying, her tears were nowhere near Lisa’s.
“I guess I’ll just have to love him more.” The girl began to sob and Lisa held her tight,
“Do you think you got a bad deal by accepting her…. believing that she was a good child and a blessing? Open your eyes Phil!” Terri shook her head. Phil couldn’t look at her and turned away, only to find that they had moved again. They stood in a large open space in a park by a large assembly of people…
“Who gives this woman in marriage?” The minister looked past the pretty if anxious girl in the white gown. A woman stood with her hand on the girl’s shoulder; a gentle squeeze did little to abate the sadness of the moment as she turned and gazed at the empty chair in the front row,
“I’m sorry, Jenn.” Her mother whispered, as if it was her fault that another chose to be absent. She turned to face her intended and only then did the girl smile. In fact, the only ones who were not smiling were Terri and Phil; something that was lost in the bliss of the moment for everyone else, since they remained unseen; set apart as sad witnesses.
“The girl…she looks familiar. And the mother…that’s Marnie.”
“Of course she looks familiar. That’s your daughter.” Terri shook her head as Phil gazed at the joy on the girl’s face as she looked into the eyes of the young lady similarly dressed; her bride.
“But…” Phil stared.
“It hurt her that you rejected her. But she’s happy, as is the rest of your family. The only one who remains disappointed and sad is you, dear old friend. And what is the reason for your disappointment, Phil? What is causing that pain inside?” Terri swept her arm in a broad gesture to make her point.
“None of these ever hurt you, Phil. Three children whose only thoughts have been to be ‘good’ kids. Two women whose only desire had been to love you. Who disappointed whom?” She turned her face toward her friend; the half-smile and the tears rolling down her cheek belied what could have seemed like condemning words. She put her hand on his arm and he lifted his head; his own tears mirroring hers….
“Excuse me? Can I get you some coffee?” Phil looked up to find the waitress standing at the table; He blinked twice and turned to find that only Pat remained; Terri was nowhere to be seen. He put his hand to his face to discover it wet with tears. He nodded and the girl smiled before walking away.
“I…what…Pat…what the fuck just happened?” Pat smiled and laughed softly while shrugging his shoulders.
“I guess it is a wonderful life after all."
Marnie and Jay's home shortly thereafter...
“I don’t know if I can do this…” Phil’s voice faded. Pat patted him on the back.
“I mean…how do I fix this?” He stared at the front door. Pat shook his head.
“First? You can’t fix anything without acknowledging that you broke it to begin with, You’ve done that with me and more importantly, you’ve done that with yourself.” He took a step toward the house; his hand urging Phil forward. A few moments later they were on the porch as the front door opened. Jennifer stood with Tia in the doorway; Lisa stood behind them in support. Both girls looked as brave and as anxious as anyone ever could, while still believing for the best. Phil turned to Pat and his look begged for what to do. Pat nodded and used his glance toward the girls as a ‘you can do this’ urge. Phil swallowed hard and turned to face his children.
“I…I’m so sorry…” He wanted to say more, but in those words alone he spoke volumes as all three girls stepped closer and grabbed him by the hands, drawing him into the house as Jenn said softly,
“Welcome home, Dad.”
A few short years later...
A gentle breeze blew across the hillside, cooling the assembly of friends and family against the warm sun. The usual murmurs and soft whispers quieted as the woman stood on the crest of the hill; her voice mixed only slightly with the gentle sound of the breeze.
“Who gives this woman in marriage?” She asked with a smile as she blinked back a few tears. Jenn turned to face two loving parents. Tia reached over and squeezed her sister’s hand and choked back a happy sob.
“We do,” Phil and Marnie said in unison. Two families united and reunited in a way; healed by love, acceptance, and forgiveness. The minister nodded and turned to her left,
“And who gives this woman in marriage?” Pat stepped forward, holding Nan’s hand. And like her sister, Lisa remembered her charge as maid of honor and gave Billie an assuring pat on the back.
“We do,” Nan said as Pat choked up. He felt supremely blessed for the privilege of helping to raise his best friend’s child. He went to take a step back and felt a very warm and welcome presence behind him as a soft if familiar voice spoke to his heart,
“Thank you, dearest of friends.” Pat put his hand to his face and wept quietly and joyfully. Nan noticed and squeezed his hand as they went to sit down. And the most blessed feeling she would ever know came to her as the same voice spoke to her,
“I am so proud of you. I will love you always, my darling. Be happy, Nan….be happy.” The voice faded into the gentle wafting of the cool breeze, but not before Billie felt a soft, tender kiss on her cheek that renewed her hope and confidence that everything would be good, She looked down at herself and then at Jenn; viewing with intensity for the first time the gowns they had discovered long ago. She smiled as only a new bride can smile and Jenn grinned at her. Everything was and would always be good.
And Terri smiled...
Comments
Well Done 'Drea
You did two wonderful tales proud. I think there was more of Scrooge in Phil than anything else.
Portia
Portia
The Gowns
Thank you for that deliciously sweet story, Andrea. I shouldn't have read this chapter of it before going shopping, though. I'll be walking around the store with puffy eyes and runny nose from all the weeping I just did. Oh well. Your writing is, as usual, powerful stuff.
Maybe I'll go throw myself in the shower before we go shopping, if I hurry. Freshen up a little. Not that anybody would say boo to me about it, but looking like a weepy crybaby doesn't look pretty when you look like me. :P
Lees
"Terri smiled"
and so did I, but I was crying at the same time.
I Had To Go Back
And reread the story. So that accounts for this great soggy mass of used tissues that I have in front of me. A classic 'Drea story,
Joanne
Well worth the wait, Dear Friend...
I've cried myself through each chapter hoping against hope that the girls would find the loving acceptance that will never be mine. That's what makes your stories so wonderful: You keep alive that weak flicker of hope that those we love may someday love all of us, not just the part that suits them.
Thank you,
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!
Rough and Beautifully Sweet
Miss DiMaggio did a number on me with this story. I softly cried all the way through this one. "We were supposed to grow old together." Hit especially hard as it ripped a chunk out of my heart and soul. I've cried a million tears and every single day is, I can get through this until it's my turn, since the day I lost my best friend, my love. Cancer is a monster that respects nothing nor anyone. And just as in this story, Jean leaves little signs, still loves me and is watching over me.
Enough about me. This story is a beautiful love story bridging the gap between those who love enough to let those in their lives be the person(s) they know they are. There is a lot of love between the here and the hereafter as that gap isn't shredded if the love is strong enough to keep the bond. The unusual aspect written into the story is how many of the characters are different and how they all come together in mutual support and understanding.
One need not embrace the supernatural which really isn't to enjoy this story as a story of moms and dads loving the child they have been gifted with.
always
Barb
Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl