The Gowns
The Blessing 
Please forgive the lateness of this chapter?

 
If you give, you will receive, dear one.
If you let go, you will lay hold of my heart.
If you change, you’ll be exactly what you are!
If you love you’ll be loved. In fact, you’re loved already!

Previously...
 

“Are you Nancy Bellino?” The officer asked before blowing out a breath. Nancy stepped closer to Billy and held him tightly.

"They're gone!"

A few days later, Burlington, Vermont...

The funeral arrangements threw Nancy into a whirlwind that pulled Billy along as well; it felt like his mother had no time for him until she just stopped in the middle of talking on the phone with the church.

“I have to call you back, okay? My son needs me…yes…oh thank you…yes…this afternoon…thank you.” She hung up the phone and turned to see Billy standing by the large bay window in the living room.
He pointed outside to the large red maple that stood next to the front walk; its leaves providing shade on the warm day.

“There, Mommy!” he said with almost a lilt in his voice, like he was singing one of the songs he had heard on Sesame Street.

“The maple tree? What did you see there?” Nancy walked over and knelt on one knee next to him and put her arm around him. Her right hand was up over her brow, more from shading her eyes from the glare, but it looked like she and Billy were scouting for a place. He pointed again.

“Right there, Mommy….they stood right there.” Nancy shook her head slightly.

“I don’t understand, baby boy. Who did you see?” Billy was a perceptive kid, and very inquisitive, but his wisdom and perception seem to go well beyond his seven years. If he said he saw someone, then he did.

“Daddy and the lady….they stood there…” He turned away, and his eyes filled with tears. Nancy wanted to know what he meant, but attending to his grief was more important, and likely would be very important and urgent in the days and months to come.

“I miss Daddy too, honey.” She wanted to be strong for her son, but really needed to cry in front of him; her own tears giving him permission to shed his own. She put her arms around him and spoke softly in his ear.

“I miss Daddy every day, Billy, and I cry all the time when you’re not around.”

“It’s okay to cry, Mommy. I miss Daddy so much…and I cry a lot.” He almost laughed, but her warm embrace seemed to break the wall between them, and he burst into tears, leaving his mother to follow along with gentle sobs of her own as she stroked his hair.

“It’s going to be alright, honey. I promise.” She said haltingly between sobs.

“I promise.” She hugged him tight, and it seemed almost like a dream as she heard ‘Theresa’s’ last words to her before that part of Terry went away.

“Vai con dio, il mio caro donna!” The words spoke silently in her heart; the love of her life speaking words of comfort from beyond until Billy pulled at her blouse sleeve to get her attention. She felt sad that the moment had come and gone so swiftly; almost a parallel to Terry’s all too brief time on earth.

“Yes, honey?” She pulled a hankie out of the pocket of her cardigan and wiped her eyes before wiping Billy’s eyes and nose. He smiled with an inquisitive look, as if he knew a secret that he was anxious to tell. He looked out the window and pointed once again.

“The lady with Daddy….she just said something….I don’t know what…the words were….like Aunt Marie.”

“Can you say what she said?” Billy smiled; he was good at listening and remembering…very good, in fact.

“Ah….ve con….vay con deo?” Nancy put her hand to her mouth and gasped.

“Did she say?” Billy had turned his attention to the tree once again. Nancy touched his cheek softly and he turned his attention to her once again.

“Honey…did she say anything else?” Nancy turned toward the tree as Billy focused his gaze on the spot where he last saw his father.

“I don’t …uh….” He began to cry once again, as if a seven-year old should have known.

“Mommy? What does cara mio…uh Il cara mio donna mean?” Nancy felt a chill up her back, but it was almost a welcome if eerie feeling as she took in just what had happened.

“Mommy…” She turned to face him and he had stopped crying. He looked once again out the window, but his focus was on the front steps of the house. Nancy saw nothing but the walk up to the porch, but Billy was very excited. He pointed at the front porch once again and then stopped suddenly.

“Oh…” He looked back at his mother and frowned, but then half-smiled; almost self —satisfied.

“What, honey?” Nancy stood up and led Billy to the front door. Opening it, she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Billy tugged at the soft wool that had bunched at the elbow of her cardigan.

“She went away.”

“Who went away?”

“The lady with Daddy? She was here.” Billy peeked out from behind Nancy and stared at the empty porch.

“I know, honey…you told me that already.”

“No…not then. She was here. Just now, Mommy. Just now.” He pulled at her sweater and pointed to one of the porch columns next to the steps and continued,

“Right there. She stood right there.” He was almost frantic, and went out to the porch and looked up and down.

“She’s not here, Mommy…she went away…she talked to me and then she went away. Nancy knew that the past several days had been rough on the boy, but would never have guessed that he’d see imaginary people who talked; until she recalled the words the woman….the lady he saw had spoken? Vai con dio, il cara mio donna? She shook her head and went to turn away, almost afraid of what everything meant…and maybe would mean.

“Mommy?” She felt the tug on her sleeve once again and turned; almost impatient, but not with him. Her heart was aching more than at any other time in her life. But for Billy’s sake, she had to be strong, and she took a deep breath.

“Yes, honey?”

“Who’s Theresa?” Nancy started to shake as the word…the name that had not been spoken in years was uttered by her only child; the child who had never met the woman who owned that name. She went to say something, but the words seemed to almost vanish in thin air before even being spoken. And she shook even more, causing the boy to grab her hands with his and look up.

“I’m sorry Mommy. I didn’t want to make you sad….Mommy…the lady….just now…she said her name was Theresa.” It would have been enough for Nancy that one last time; the name seemed to permeate her soul as she recalled the absolute love she had for the one who held that name; the sheer bliss of knowing and being known.
But it didn’t end there. Billy shook his hands up and down, trying to get her attention. She opened her eyes, realizing only at that moment that she had almost drifted away. He smiled and let go of her left hand and pointed to the edge of the porch by the steps.

“There. Mommy….she …she said that she …brought this for you.” Nancy looked at Billy and tilted her head before turning her attention to where Billy was pointing. On the porch, just in front of the steps was one single white rose. Billy looked back in time just to catch his mother to break her fall as she fainted straight away. He didn’t panic, but instead just sat down next to her and held her hand.

“It’s okay, Mommy…it’s okay.” He smiled and looked into his mother’s face and while she had scared him a little just then, her expression calmed him and helped him feel good, since she had the most peaceful look he had ever seen.

Next: Goodbye Means Hello...