A Letter to My Ex

Dear Sharon,

I’m writing this, not necessarily to send, but so I can get my thoughts in order before I talk to you. See, I’ve been keeping a secret, and its beginning to feel like lying. I’ve gone back and forth on when I should tell you, with one part of my brain saying “confess! you are sinning against her and against God by not being honest with her!” The other part is saying “Wait! You’ll only hurt her and yourself if you tell her now!”

But after many, many discussions with myself, and after much prayer, I believe I must do this, and do it now.

Here goes....

I’m transitioning.

I’m slowly (far too slowly for my liking) transforming my body into a woman’s,

I’ve tried to talk to you before about this ... incompleteness I’ve had my whole life, about how being male was like being forced to wear a heavy suit of armor that is far too tight and never being allowed to take it off. I showed you the prayer I made called “Dear God”, hoping that somehow I could reach you.

I’ve failed.

But, as one last attempt, let me start with this. You may have noticed how much happier and at peace I’ve been lately, and its because of making the first steps down the road to a transition. I am a happier, healthier, BETTER person now.

And that’s not all. I’m also receiving spiritual benefits as well. I’m more loving, more patient. I have a hunger and thirst to get closer to God like I havent had since the very early days after I was saved.

I know you dont understand this. I know you think its a sin. But I simply don’t have any choice. Just before I started this process I was sitting in the break room at work with a knife at my wrist, and only God himself stopped me from dying that day.

I cannot, I will not go back to that.

I have no idea how you’ll react when I tell you this, but I pray you take some time and think and pray over it before deciding what you’ll do.

No matter what happens, I will still love you and Sam, and I’ll do my best to answer any questions you raise.