Visitor from my dreams

Author's note: I read a writer's prompt on facebook, and it went something like "She came to me in my dreams, and in my nightmares", and my muse took it from there ...

At first, i thought she was a nightmare, the girl in my dreams.

For I was a boy, or supposed to be. So where could this girl I dreamed of being come from?

Then there were the nightmares in truth, but she was not the monster in them, but rather a victim - a prisoner, tormented and captive.

And because I associated her with pain, for a long time, I did not, could not seek her out willingly.

As I got older, and attained some measure of distance from my pain, the dreams became more varied.

Sometimes I still saw her as suffering torment, but other times, I saw her as she might be if I had the courage to release her - strong, beautiful, feminine, and free.

But for a long time, those dreams were as frightening as the dreams of torment.

Finally, I began a quest for some measure of mental peace, and faced squarely the memories of abuse , as painful as they were.

And discovered her there, waiting for me.

And yet, for a while I did nothing.

The consequences of freeing her seemed so high, and the chances of success seemed so low, I felt even more trapped than I had been before.

But the lesson in courage I had learned in facing, and naming my abuse began to work through me, until at last, I began to unfetter her.

And was surprised to discover that not only did I not suffer the consequences I had feared, I had more success than I had dared hope for.

And that in truth, the prisoner I had freed was me.

I was the girl in my dreams, all along.

And now, the real adventure can begin ...

End.