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Sunday, July 17, 2011
Hey folks, Bridget here. You know when you love someone so much that you just love them to death...okay...bad expression. When you love someone you just about accept everything about them. Then there comes a time when things get to be too much, and you have to take a stand. Well...hold it a second... yes, I know you don't have to 'pause on paper,' but I want you all to know how serious this is and that like they say, the tears are getting the keyboard of my 'puter wet.
I love my husband...I truly love him more than life itself, but you know last time we talked about Billy...our youngest? Terry Sr. is just a great dad; he's been there in both quality and quantity time for all three boys, but he just doesn't understand that they're different...well he knows they're individuals, but Terry Jr. and Pat...well they knew who and what they were all about since they were little, you know? And they've sort of stood on their feet as boys since puberty hit for both of them.
Then there's Billy...my baby. My twelve year old. he's...like we talked about? Different. You know if you're still reading this and you're nodding your head that he's finding out about himself...herself, actually. I've had him to God knows how many doctors in Queens alone, and we even drove out to Islip to see a psychiatrist. But we found a really sweet doctor; Renee' Pevoreski...and right over in Forest Hills! She's what they call a gender specialist...you know? Well Terry just doesn't see it. Billy...like I said, my baby? She came early...three and a half weeks and she was small enough to fit in Terry's hand. So I know she's special...a real gem?
Terry doesn't understand anything about what Dr. Renee' explained. More like my pig-headed Irish cop of a husband just won't budge, and it's got the whole family in an uproar. And I should know. I'm a Muldoon and he's an O'Shaughnessy, and we go at it. Oh, you know it's not that bad, and we always make a point to make up before bedtime, no matter what, you know? Well, I'm sitting in bed with my laptop and he's out watching ESPN...and we haven't made up yet.
Billy loves his...her Dad. And he loves her, too. Don't get me wrong. He's as honest as the day is long; he works hard and he puts his life on the line every day. She just want to be like him so much in so many ways. Maybe the first girl in the O'Shaughnessy family to be New York's finest...maybe even detective. But he doesn't see that, and it hurts so bad. And just so you know, he goes to bed crying just like me and Billy. I think maybe even Pat and Terry Jr. cry a bit over this. I don't know what to do but thank the Good Lord to protect them all and maybe change Terry Sr.'s mind.
Anyway, it's getting late and I've got to get up for my shift at Mt. Sinai... We've got a whole bunch of women due ...Labor and Delivery....and it may be a very long day. So folks? If you pray, say a prayer for Terry Sr. He's a good guy who maybe just needs to seen Billy the way she sees herself. I know he loves her, and I know that whenever God gets a hold of him, he's pretty reasonable.
I hope and pray to God he changes his mind soon. Billy came to me this morning after Terry headed over to the precinct, and she said she only wanted one thing for her birthday...she turns thirteen in two weeks. 'Mom,' she says to me, 'Do you think you can talk to Dad..' wait a sec... the keyboard is getting wet again. 'All I want for my birthday is a hug from Dad...and maybe even if he doesn't understand or agree, he'll just once say he's happy that I'm his daughter.' Does that just break your heart.... oh...One second...
You must have read my mind and I know some of you have been praying for us. Terry Sr. just came into bed...he's sitting right next to me. Well, actually he's lying on his side, reading a book, The Transgender Child. Just when I want to stay mad at him he goes and surprises me all over again. I don't know why I'm surprised. I've known him since we both went to Queen of Peace CCD classes when we were in middle school. You gotta love the guy, you know? Well, until next time, this is Bridget O'Shaughnessy saying, God Bless you all!
http://ittakesanohana.org/2011/03/the-transgender-child-a-ha...
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Comments
Tears in MY Keyboard
Darn it all anyway!
You sure know how to push all my buttons. I only hope MY keyboard holds up under my tears.
What a sweet, loving little story. I pray that others outside our community might just read this, and maybe the book also. If they did, perhaps some of "us" might find healing and love much earlier in life.
Thanks for this one. I'm hurting tonight and throwing a bit of a pity party, and in the middle I come across this story. Love you sis, thank you for showing me something a bit bigger than I am tonight.
Buonanotte mia dolce sorella, con amore,
Bettina
Thank you 'Drea,
ALISON
'as Beth said you push all the right buttons! It is still so hard for young kids.Yes, I know it is
hard as you get older,but an older person can handle the dramas with more maturity.We have two 14 year
olds in our clinic and they have gone through the wringer to be who they are as they have to,as minors.
go through the Family Law Court which requires interminable Psychiatric assesments before permission is
given,even though the parents were on side.I met one of the girls last week,she is part Polynesian and
there is no way she was ever a boy!She is absolutely stunning and a lovely girl as well.But you still
had me weeping 'Drea----again.
ALISON
very sweet little story
its hard for any parent, but maybe especially a "man's man" dad, to understand he really has a daughter instead of a son. But its good to see such a parent willing to make the effort to understand. Very sweet little story.
Dorothycolleen
Went + did it again, didn'tcha?
But heh, I was prepared and got my new tear-proof keyboard (which also works for taco sauce...). The tears, a dawning sense of hope for this hard-working couple, this family, and maybe a sense of regret, those of us who could never in a million years imagine our own dads ever picking up such a book. It's a generational thing I think, that for all his gruff ways and (I imagine) code of emotional self-reliance Terry's of a generation that at least acknowledges there are situations that can be helped through understanding, all that whatchacall psychology stuff, that he might not understand everything already ....... Excellent take on the "You've Got to be Kidding Me" challenge. This sounds like a real mom-blog, I can imagine the page layout, graphics, scripty headings and whimsical clip art doo-dads surrounding it, pictures of the family pets; but I would've liked a link to the rest of Bridget's blog page :)
~~~hugs, Veronica
What borders on pure insanity?
Canada and Mexico.
.