A Visit to Canada

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A Visit to Canada

I bring to you a transcription of my conversation with a visitor to my country:

Alien Visitor (AV): Greetings!

Me: Welcome to Canada. You’ve arrived at an exciting time. We’re having a federal election.

AV: Ah, yes. I’ve heard of these. You’re picking your head of state.

Me: Nope.

AV: No?

Me: No. Would you like to know who our head of state is?

AV: Lay it on me, sister.

Me: The queen of England.

AV: Are you pulling my leg?

Me: Honest.

AV: How does that work?

Me: Well, we understand she’s busy, so the job is carried out by an appointed representative, who is called the Governor General.

AV: So she appoints the Governor General?

Me: Yes, but the person is picked by the Prime Minster.

Av: Okay. So your election, you’re picking the Prime Minster?

Me: Nope.

AV: Well, who are you picking then?

Me: A member of Parliament, also called a MP.

AV: And they select the Prime Minister?

Me: Not quite.

AV: I think I better sit down.

Me: Breathe into this paper bag, it’ll help.

AV: (After a few moments) Thanks. So, dare I ask who selects the Prime Minster?

Me: We’re not there yet. Hang on.

AV: (Weakly) There’s more?

Me: You can make it. See, there are political parties. Each party selects a leader. One of those leaders gets to be Prime Minster.

AV: How do they figure out which one?

Me: Well, that depends. If one party wins a majority of seats, their leader is the Prime Minster. But since no party can get a majority at the moment, generally, its the party with the most Members of Parliament, but it doesn’t have to be.

AV: It.... doesn’t have to be?

Me: Nope. If two smaller parties form a coalition, they can pick one of their leaders to be Prime Minister.

AV: Back up a bit. you said something about seats?

Me: Yes. Each MP gets to have a seat.

AV: So let me see if I have this right. You are voting for a member of Parliament, who may or may not get a chance to select the Prime Minster who appoints the Governor General, who acts for the Queen who is your head of state?

Me: On the nose.

AV: Are you sure this is supposed to be a democracy? I think I better go home. (Starts to walk away)

Me: Wait, I haven’t explained how a party dedicated to breaking up the country can become the Loyal Opposition !



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