A Visit to Canada
I bring to you a transcription of my conversation with a visitor to my country:
Alien Visitor (AV): Greetings!
Me: Welcome to Canada. You’ve arrived at an exciting time. We’re having a federal election.
AV: Ah, yes. I’ve heard of these. You’re picking your head of state.
Me: Nope.
AV: No?
Me: No. Would you like to know who our head of state is?
AV: Lay it on me, sister.
Me: The queen of England.
AV: Are you pulling my leg?
Me: Honest.
AV: How does that work?
Me: Well, we understand she’s busy, so the job is carried out by an appointed representative, who is called the Governor General.
AV: So she appoints the Governor General?
Me: Yes, but the person is picked by the Prime Minster.
Av: Okay. So your election, you’re picking the Prime Minster?
Me: Nope.
AV: Well, who are you picking then?
Me: A member of Parliament, also called a MP.
AV: And they select the Prime Minister?
Me: Not quite.
AV: I think I better sit down.
Me: Breathe into this paper bag, it’ll help.
AV: (After a few moments) Thanks. So, dare I ask who selects the Prime Minster?
Me: We’re not there yet. Hang on.
AV: (Weakly) There’s more?
Me: You can make it. See, there are political parties. Each party selects a leader. One of those leaders gets to be Prime Minster.
AV: How do they figure out which one?
Me: Well, that depends. If one party wins a majority of seats, their leader is the Prime Minster. But since no party can get a majority at the moment, generally, its the party with the most Members of Parliament, but it doesn’t have to be.
AV: It.... doesn’t have to be?
Me: Nope. If two smaller parties form a coalition, they can pick one of their leaders to be Prime Minister.
AV: Back up a bit. you said something about seats?
Me: Yes. Each MP gets to have a seat.
AV: So let me see if I have this right. You are voting for a member of Parliament, who may or may not get a chance to select the Prime Minster who appoints the Governor General, who acts for the Queen who is your head of state?
Me: On the nose.
AV: Are you sure this is supposed to be a democracy? I think I better go home. (Starts to walk away)
Me: Wait, I haven’t explained how a party dedicated to breaking up the country can become the Loyal Opposition !