---

---

Previously, in Megan’s office…

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

“She’s a girl?” Almost a silly response, but again, the girl needed to identify how she felt and what she believed; not another's beliefs but her own.

“And you love her?” The word ‘right’ was almost implied as Megan’s question was friendly and inviting and accepting.

“Ye…yes?” The girl put her head down slightly, still expecting the judgment and condemnation that she had grown up with to be present at that moment.

“And is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Megan stressed the word ‘good’ and purposely trailed off as she finished the question.

“A good thing?” Tori’s answer was only slightly emphatic, but her tone was beginning to change.

“What do you think?” “YOU?”

“A good thing.”

“A good thing.” Megan echoed softly and smiled as the girl broke down and sobbed, but out of relief finally instead of shame.

Megan breathed out a relieved sigh of her own and smiled once again.

“A very good thing, Tori, a very good thing.”

---

A few weeks later, the Magliano neighborhood…

“I think Elena is a nice name, Jer...it...sorta fits.” Vi said as the four walked from the bus stop. Miri remained quiet and Cindy actually walked several yards behind Miri and Jerry and her. Vi looked back at her sister before turning again to Miri.

“You comin’ over this afternoon?”

“No...I...I have homework...maybe...maybe tomorrow, okay?” She said quickly as they stood in front of the Magliano home.

“Since when has homework been a big deal? I bet you had all of it done before last period.” A wince and a downcast look told Vi all she needed to know. As she paused, Cindy had caught up with them and was going to walk past them without comment. Vi reached out and grabbed her sleeve, turning her around.

“Fuck it, girls...you two need to talk, even if you hate each other.” Vi knew that was a patently false assumption as she laughed softly and shook her head at Jerry as if to say, “Yeah, sure!”

“I...I have to get going...” Cindy protested, but made no headway in her walk home as Vi held tightly onto her sleeve.

“Nope...not now...you’ve got to talk. Me and Elena here are gonna go inside and talk about makeup and clothes...sorta help her catch up.” Jerry was dressed in boy mode, and something inside him made him blush even as his heart nearly skipped a beat at the mention of his new girl name.

“I...” Jerry stammered as Vi grabbed his sleeve and the two ran up the porch steps and into the house, leaving Cindy and Miri looking at each other, dumbfounded. After a few moments, Cindy spoke.

“I...I’m sorry about the other day...Vi set us up. I swear to God I didn’t know she had that planned.” She put her head down and sighed.

“S’ok...I guess girls do that sometime...you know...check each other out? Vi is...” Vi had been in a dating relationship with her girlfriend Monica Forte’ for nearly a year, and was as serious as any 15 year old girl can be, even if she was a bit more mature than her age.

“I know...I...I don’t want you to feel bad...I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry.” Cindy lifted her head only long enough to talk. A few moments of silence filled with anxious thoughts.

“Why are you so sorry?” Miri thought. “Was it...am I so fucked up...am I so bad?”

The years of abuse from her father hadn’t only affected her mother and her sister Adele. Miri was as insecure as both of them, and was only surpassed in that area by her brother/sister. Meanwhile Cindy looked away, almost seeking a way of escape other than pushing past the girl on the sidewalk.

“I wish she’d stop talking,” Cindy thought. “I can handle this if she only stops talking.”

“God...I hate this...this sucks so bad. I wish she never kissed me.”

Miri looked up at the front door, hoping for a rescue from her mother. No one stood waiting to come to her aid. The two stood awkwardly for several moments until almost at the same time, they both tried to squeeze past the other, but with the predictable dance in the middle of the side walk.

“Sorry...you go first...” Cindy said nervously.

“S’ok...you go.” Miri countered. More moments of awkward silence and no movement at all when suddenly the two began the dance once again; this time with very different results. Cindy moved to her right and Miri moved to her left; just one step made the difference as they collided and fell to the ground nearly entangled.

“Let go...let go of me.” Miri protested. The more they struggled the more they seemed to get tangled, leading to.

“You let go...” Cindy said, almost angrily, but more out of frustration, being underneath the girl whom she had kissed only days before. Miri went to push up off of her, arms on either side of Cindy. The grass was slick from an afternoon shower, and her hands slipped, causing her to fall back on top of Cindy. She went to push off again, but instead of grass, her hands found Cindy’s shoulders, putting them face to face.

“Stop...get off me.” Cindy was crying at that point.

“Okay, okay...I’m trying. Give me a hand.” Miri snapped. Cindy took her hands and placed them on Miri’s shoulders and went to push up, but her shoulders slipped on the wet grass and her arms gave way, causing Miri to land on her with a thud as their lips met.

“No...no...please...please don’t” Cindy cried as Miri said,

“I’m trying....” Although with their lips together it sounded more like, “Mmmummmhhhmmm”

“No....nnnnoooo....mmmmm” Cindy’s protests turned to a soft coo as they kissed, this time with intent and with no disappointment or embarrassment or shame at all.

“I’m sorry that I was...sorry.” Cindy said as their lips parted, still crying. She started to shake. Miri rolled off of her and stood up, offering her hand. Cindy lay back on the grass and sobbed.

“I’m so sorry...I didn’t mean to be...I’m so sorry...’ She covered her face with her hands and continued to weep. The rescue that Miri sought earlier finally arrived as Giada came running down the porch steps.

“Cindy...are you okay?” She knelt down next to the prostrate girl as Miri did the same on her other side. Giada gripped the girls hand and pulled her gently to a sitting position.

“Ohh....Mrs. M...I’m...I’m okay,” she said as she looked at Giada. Turning to her other side she came face to face with Miri once again and burst into tears.

“Okay, you two...what just happened here?” Giada asked as Jerry and Vi came back out onto the porch.

“I’m pretty sure ‘they’ happened, Mrs. M,” Vi laughed as she and Jerry nodded. Giada turned back to the two and found Miri staring quietly into Cindy’s eyes. Cindy was still crying, but wasn’t nearly upset as she had been, if at all.

“Yep, Mom...it looks like ‘they’ happened, alright.” Jerry said, happy for once not to be the center of attention.

---

The Pearson home the same day…

Just because every thing's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are as you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

“Are you sure about this, Vinnie?” Estelle sat opposite her child on the couch while Rick brought the two of them some soup and biscuits. Vinnie...or rather, Tori nodded.

“Mom…you do remember Adele…right?” Rick referred to his former and his brother’s present fiancee’.

“Of course…but…” She shook her head and began to tear up.

“Mom…you didn’t do anything wrong. Vinnie is being who he…hey, I’m sorry. Tori is being who she was meant to be, like Dr. Megan said. We talked about this in therapy the last two times.”

“Mom…I’m okay. Megan says that for the time being, around home is probably best for us all since I’m still figuring things out and this is not the thing that’s …” Tori stopped in mid-sentence, realizing what she was referring to. She tried to forget the horror inflicted upon her and her brothers by her father, but the memories were still as invasive as ever, and would come up at the worst possible times.

“Hey…Tori…you okay?” Rick rushed over to his sister’s side.

“Ricky…Mommy…..nooo….”

The girl began to sob and fell into her brother’s arms. Rick held her close and let her cry. There was nothing to do but ride it out, almost like a storm that would quickly pass, even as it almost always left the girl shaken; the same storms that both Rick and Danny had weathered. Rick had it easiest, he felt, since he was well past the nightmares and the memories seemed to be fading. His biggest problem was the guilt he still felt over his helplessness in preventing the abuse from being passed to his brothers.

The girl shook almost violently in his arms, the moments of pain and betrayal as real as if they were happening then and there. Estelle began to weep at the sight of her son’s sadness. She struggled with Vinnie’s gender issues, feeling somehow it was her fault that the boy was so confused.

“You should just take off those clothes…that’s why he hurt you, I bet…” She blurted out, meaning to fix things as she always did. This was unfixable; at least in the immediate sense.

“Mom…shhh…..please.” Rick tried to quiet her down. Tori was shaking more than he had ever seen, and he was having a hard time holding her up. He gave way to the moment and lowered her to the floor and rocked her in his arms. It was the bravest thing Rick Pearson had ever done, since no one would ever know that while he was comforting his ‘new’ sister in her pain he was reliving his own at the same time.

“If he never wore that…his father….” Estelle was almost hysterical. Rick turned around and tried hard with little success to temper his words.

“Mom…shut up…would you please just be quiet…you don’t know what you’re saying, and it’s upsetting her even more. She’s got enough to deal with, and she doesn’t need this on top of it.

“He’s not a girl…it’s my fault...I should have stopped his father…I should have stopped him…I knew and I didn’t do anything.” No one ever would have accused Estelle of enabling her husband, but there it was, right in front of everyone for all to see.

“I should have stopped him….oh dear God…I am so sorry.” She was practically screaming, and Rick was torn between comforting his sister and dealing with his mother’s guilt and shame. Anger and sadness and fear mixed together and he couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Mom…would you just sit down…please…” He turned and found that his shirt was wet. Tori had gotten sick, and there was blood everywhere. He laid the girl on the couch and pulled out his cell and dialed 911.

---

St. Luke’s Urgent Care Center ER Waiting Area, Kirkwood, Missouri…

Now, we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes

“Rick…what in God’s name?” Danny blurted out as he and Adele hurried up to Rick in the waiting area of the ER.

“The doctor is pretty sure it’s the ulcer. They’ve got him upstairs in surgery right now.” He turned to Adele and nodded, saying,

“Your mom is with my mother right now. Dan…she’s…we’ve got to get her some help.” Rick looked at Danny and began to cry. The facade of uncaring and nonchalant was lying on the ground in pieces as he struggled to contain himself.

“What..Rick…what?” Danny put his hand on Rick’s arm to get him focused. Rick turned away for a second and then turned back.

“She knew…Dear God, Danny…she fucking knew…the whole fucking time, and she didn’t do a damn thing. What the fuck, Danny….why didn’t she do anything?” His face was a mask of grief and shame. It was as if he was transported back in time; a little boy lying helpless on a bed, calling for his mother…the mother who never came…never answered.

“Rick…come on…she maybe suspected…she even said that when Vinnie went in the last time…the bastard was pretty good at hiding it.” Danny shook his head.

“No…you don’t understand…she said if he never wore… the clothes…like she knew what Daddy was doing? Vinnie never told anyone about the clothes before except for Megan and you, and …it wasn’t because of that…Daddy hurt…both of us and we didn’t have that going on….but Vinnie…you remember even when he was little, he was always going into Mommy’s closet…and she said…I should have stopped him…not Vinnie…Daddy…she fucking knew he was hurting us…not just suspect…she fucking knew!”

“God, Rick…I don’t know…maybe she was scared…maybe Daddy was hurting her too…Rick…he told me he’d kill Vinnie if I talked…what did he say to you?”

Danny was grasping at straws at that point. Both brothers were awash in shame and guilt over the fear that their brother…their sister? She was lying on an operating table fighting for her life for all they knew and both Danny and Rick felt responsible. The one who actually could lay claim to it no longer lived; maybe the most fortunate of all from where they stood, since as far as they knew he felt no pain.

“Stop…stop it…” Adele shouted, causing the several folks in the waiting area to turn their heads. The security guard came over and put his hands up slightly.

“I’m sorry…I know this is hard for you, but if you can’t control yourselves, you’ll have to step outside.” Danny nodded and grabbed Rick by the arm and walked through the entry to the sidewalk with Adele following.

“Rick…Danny…please…let it go…for now…if you can’t let it go all the way, let it go for now. Tori needs the two of you to be strong. Please.” She stepped closer and put her hands on both their arms and squeezed.

“I’m….I’m sorry...you’re right.” Rick blew out a breath and wiped the tears from his face with his coat sleeve.

“We’ll sort all of this out…we have to be strong, like she says,” Danny nodded at Adele and smiled weakly.

Back in the waiting room…a few minutes later…

“Danny…Mr. Pearson? I’m Nancy Lundquist…you and I talked the last time your brother was here.” Danny nodded and she continued.

“It’s an esophageal ulcer that the endoscopy missed when your brother was here last month. I’m sorry, but sometimes even the camera doesn’t pick it up. It could have been very small and gotten worse…even in such a short time. He’ll be in recovery for a while and then up on the floor. You can see him up in his room in a while, okay?” The doctor wiped her brow with her cap and sighed.

“I know you folks have been through hell these past few weeks. I’m fairly sure things will be improving soon. I’ve talked with the psychiatrist on call and he’ll be by to discuss some options regarding medication to deal with the stress the boy has been under.

“Why didn’t you folks figure this out before? What the fuck is wrong here?” Rick blurted out, almost in his usual character, but he quickly followed his words with a head shake and he spoke again.

“Oh, shit…I am so sorry…I know you’ve done your best…this isn’t your fault.” He was about to finish when Danny interrupted him.

“Rick…it’s nobody’s fault…leastwise nobody still breathing! I hope the fucking bastard is burning in hell right now! And that bastard in jail…” Danny’s trailed off and he began to weep, putting his head on Adele’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, honey…I’m…”

“I know…it’s hard to forgive when it keeps happening…like he’s still alive and hurting you all over again.”

She shook her head. Flashbacks were an all too common part of the Magliano family as well, with the memories of the beatings she and her sibs and her mother had endured at the hands of her father invading their household on a frequent basis. She knew that it wasn’t going to be easy, but she seemed to be a bit further down the road than either Dan or even Rick.

“It’s going to be okay, honey…I swear to God…I know this hurts, but it will get better.” She held Danny close and reached over and grabbed Rick’s hand.

Dr. Nancy Lundquist patted Danny on the back and said quietly,

“Hang in there Marine…we’ve got your back, okay?” She smiled at Rick and Adele before walking back through the ER doors.

---

That evening…in the Family Area upstairs…

“Listen…I’m going to take Adele home and check in on Mommy. I’ll be back as quickly as I can.” Danny patted Rick on the back. He looked up and nodded. Adele leaned down and kissed Rick on the cheek.

“Hang in there, okay?” She squeezed his shoulder and smiled before stepping back.

“I’ll give you a call when I get home. I talked to Giada, and Mommy’s sleeping. She’s going to stay there tonight so I can come back here. I’ll be back and I’ll get you some clothes so you can change, okay?” Rick nodded weakly and smiled.

“Yeah, I don’t think this shade of red is my color,” he said with a soft laugh. Vinnie’s blood had soaked through to his tee, and he had thrown his outer shirt away after Vinnie was settled in.

“Danny?” Rick bit his lip and frowned. “I don’t understand…” It was as if the whole Pearson family was undergoing change, with little brother certainly leading the way into his own transformation into their little sister. But Danny, too, was changing, as he was becoming more confident and secure about the future. The biggest change, however, was happening to Rick, as he was moving rapidly to maturity and selflessness unlike anything he had ever known.

“I don’t understand either, but I know we’ll get through this…we’ve got each other’s back…right?” Danny said it, not as a question, but as an affirmation of the work he had seen take place in Rick over the last several weeks. It was like he finally had a big brother to look up to. He kissed Rick on the cheek as well and in a moment Rick was all alone.

A few minutes later, a vaguely familiar voice interrupted Rick’s quiet, accompanied by a soft tap on the shoulder.

“Mr. Pearson? Mr. Pearson?” He looked up to see a vaguely familiar face to go with the pleasant voice.

“You don’t know me…I’m sorry to interrupt…your brother…he’s out of recovery and in his room. If you’d like to go sit with him he’s over across the hall in room 317. I’m Natalia la Rue…I’m his nurse, and I’ll be helping take care of him. Do you have a few moments before you go over?” She smiled and Rick smiled back weakly. It had been a very long day, but it seemed to get better in an instant.

“Sure…my name’s Rick…I think I saw you before…” He put his head down and shook it.

“Yes, I know…I’m glad for everyone’s sake that your name was cleared…I was here…” She looked across the hall to the room where Vinnie had nearly been murdered by his abuser. She shook as the memory came back to her. Rick stood up and looked at her.

“Are you okay? Can I get someone to help you?” He smiled at her and she shook her head.

“I believe that’s my line, Mr. Pearson. I’m sorry. It’s just that your family has been through so much the past few weeks. Anyway, what I wanted to know…the ER said your brother was admitted…how do I put this delicately…” She paused and Rick spoke.

“I know…my brother…he’s been seeing a therapist for a while now, even before the abuse issue came to light…well as far as we know…he’s dealing with some issues, and he and Megan..his therapist…oh shit…” Rick stammered for a moment and his face grew red.

“I’m sorry…please forgive me…” He said it softly, a request instead of his typical demand; another evidence of change.

“Her name is Tori, and after school’s finished in June, she may be…well, nothing has been decided other than that she’s now our sister, as crazy as that sounds.” He smiled nervously.

“Oh, I understand. Adele…” Natalia paused, not wanting to bring up a sore subject since as Adele’s friend had known about Rick’s horrible treatment of her. She continued.

“I’m aware of the whole gender issue, Mr. Pearson.” She immediately became defensive and stepped back.

“If you like, I can have Dr. Phillips call and discuss this with your attending doctor. Megan’s been seeing the family the past couple of weeks for the whole…” Rick put his head down and his face grew red once again. Natalia looked at him in puzzlement. The man in front of her wasn’t anything like she remembered from her talks with Adele. Can someone change that quickly? She remained cautious and backed up even further.

“That would be helpful. Dr. Jacobs is the psychiatrist, and it would be very helpful for …Tori?” She tilted her head in question.

“Yes…Tori…short for Victoria…thank you.” He smiled. A smile? A thank you?

“For what?”

“For thinking to call her by her name. That’s very kind of you.” Rick smiled again. The charm was there, but something about him was oddly attractive. Maybe the deceptive kind of charm that got her friend into trouble in the first place; misplaced trust for sure. She wasn’t about to fall for that.

“No problem. If you need anything, we’ll be at the nurses’ station, and I’ll be over to check on her in about an hour. I’m sure you two need some time alone.” Natalia went to walk away when Rick spoke one more time.

“Miss la Rue?” She turned at her name.

“Thank you.” This time the charm wasn’t there at all. Not that he wasn’t charming, per se, but that there was something actually humble about his look, as if he was truly thankful.

“She’s my kid sister, and I’m really glad…especially now that I’m figuring out how much she actually means to me…” He began to choke up…

”Real tears?” she thought.

“I’m very glad that she has someone looking after her that understands her. It’s about time she began to have a good life, and she needs all the help she can get, so yes, thank you, Miss la Rue.”

Natalia had backed out of the Family area and was in the hall already when Rick stepped past her and walked across the hall. She was surprised that he didn’t make a fuss or flirt, which was entirely alright with her. But something in her was almost disappointed as well. She followed his progress across and down the hall until he disappeared through the doorway of Tori’s room.

“Real tears…wow….!”

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

Next: May I Have This Dance?

---

The Call
from the Motion Picture
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
performed by the composer
Regina Spektor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7uoC-YTQy8