Authors note: because it has been a while since I posted the last episode, and before I hand things over to Our Lady of Perpetual Ego, I feel I should point out something about this adventure. This is NOT an objective account. It is seen through our heroine's eyes, and she has a certain.... bias, that must be taken into account when reading, and it is wise to take what she says with a large truck full of salt. If you have read the first two episodes, you are probably saying something like “Duh!” but I thought I should pass on the warning Enjoy!

The Lucky one, part 3

“Here’s the story, of a boy named Eddy, who suddenly had become a girl…”

(Ahem. Dorothy here. Any chance we could start off without getting me sued?

(Poor Dot. By the way, you folks may have notice the length of time since my last posting, and it’s all her
fault. )

(Oh this should be good…)

(You see, Dot had to take a break for “mental health reasons”. I bet she was just on the rag)

(Umm, Fluke? You do know what “transgender” means, right?”)

(Whatever floats your boat sweetie. I offered to help you “relax“ by spending some quality time with Yours Truly. A roll in the hay with me, and you would have woken up sometime next week feeling fabulous)

(Not a chance. Considering how many people you have slept with, I don’t need some kind of inter-dimensional clap)

(Meeeouch! Sheath those claws! Just because you havent got lucky in a while…)

(You know, I don’t have to do this, I could be writing serious drama)

(Gee, folks, we don’t want Dot to go away, do we? Dorothy, you are a wonderful writer and I am glad you are writing my story)

(Fine, quit blowing smoke up my skirt, and lets get this show on the road, shall we?)

(Ok, ok. But we do have one piece of business to clean up before we get rolling.)

(What’s that?)

(Well, I should talk about why I spent time last time talking about Ares and E-Girl instead of focusing on my wonderful self like my legions of fans would have demanded)

(If you say so. But I am kinda curious myself. Seemed a bit out of character for you)

(I can’t help it if I know how wonderful I am. But anyway, the reason why I mentioned her commercial is that some nasty rumors have surfaced that I am jealous of E-Girl. Personally, I blame Fox News for it. But the fact that I was willing to praise her should put those rumors to rest)

(Fine. Now can we get started?)

(Let’s do.)

Now, where did we leave off last time?

Oh, yes. We left our intrepid heroine (me) waking up on my second day of girlhood, meeting my neighbour Sarah, finding out I was already a Youtube sensation, and descending on a local mall for some serious shopping.

Now, if you were going to go shopping as a girl for the first time, I highly recommend having a heiress with you willing to pay for everything. Makes things so much nicer, no?

Anyway, after our shopping was finished, we had lunch at a nice restaurant in the mall, and then discovered that I seemed to be able to make luck and chance go my way, leading Sarah to give me my heroic name, Fluke.

Along the way, I had won a large jackpot at three different video lottery terminals, and after turning in the winnings to be changed into cash, we both decided we needed to go back to the bar and have a stiff drink each.

Unfortunately, I had just started to enjoy my first drink (as my male self, I had steered clear of alcohol) when the screaming started.

I found out later exactly what happened, but rather than bore you with the investigation, lets leave me and Sarah in the bar, and show what was going on in the mall itself.

They were not stupid, for crooks. The plan was to tunnel under the city from an old warehouse, to the bank and end up right in the vault room, just after closing time. (It was an early closing day for the bank, but the mall was still open). They would clean it out, go back down the hole to the tunnel and be gone to Mexico or wherever before the bank even noticed the theft.

Unfortunately, they made a major error in calculating how far they would have to tunnel. That, plus the infra-red goggles they wore which meant they didn’t catch the error until the bunch of them had popped up like a group of gophers right in the middle of the food court at suppertime….

What saved the patrons was in part that these guys had not planned for running into any major opposition, so they were not heavily armed. Still, one couldn’t exactly blame people for panicking.

Hearing the commotion, I took a quick peek out the door of the restaurant, to give me some ideas as to what was going on. Guys in masks, waving small guns, the crowd scattering in all directions, I got the gist pretty quickly.

I started figuring out my strategy. (Don’t believe those nasty rumors that I was shaking in my heels)

I could jump in there, and maybe they would focus on me instead of the crowd, but this “luck” power, however it worked, might not prevent somebody from getting hurt. (IE: me)

Then I looked at Sarah, and she was smiling, and I knew. I knew I could do it. I stood up, slipped into the ladies room, and said to the air, “Wizard, I need a costume.”

Once again, the wizard showed she had a bizarre sense of humor. The best thing you could say for the outfit was I was covered. In fact I was covered from my neck to my ankles and all of my arms to the wrists.

There was only one small problem.

It was a body stocking, and it was almost entirely sheer, except just a bit thicker around the nipples and between my legs. Even me, who had seen this body naked, thought this made me even sexier than when I was nude.

At this point I found myself in an argument, with myself.

One part of my brain was saying “You are bloody indecent, girl! Cover up!” (I blame Eddie’s background for that voice)

The other part was saying “You got, you might as well flaunt it sister” (which is more like the fantastic female I have become)

I figured I would let Sarah break the tie, and stepped out of the bathroom, and all the patrons stopped what they were doing, which mostly consisted with quietly looking for an exit that did not lead back into the mall and the screaming, and they all looked at me.

I don’t mean to brag, but more than a few pants now had bulges in them, and an number of blouses looked a little perkier than before. I tend to have that reaction wherever I go, no matter what I am wearing.

Sarah was looking too. As for her reaction, well, to be kind to her, I will only say that it was a good thing she was wearing a bra, since otherwise her erect nipples would be standing so far out they would be in a different area code.

“You going to go out there like that?”

“Well, being the good friend I am, I wanted to share with you first.”

“Well…. At least the bad guys are not likely to be able to pay attention to anybody else.”

“my thinking exactly.”

“You sure you wouldn’t like a skirt or something?”

“Nah. I’m good. Besides, we left everything we bought in the car, remember?”

At that moment, there as a small pop, and Yaddie came back from wherever she went to while we were shopping.

“Yaddie! Good. You can help me deal with these guys”

“Yaddie!”

She floated over to Sarah, and managed to get herself under Sarah's arm'

“Come on, Yaddie.”

She managed to give me the impression of sticking a tongue out at me.

“Yaddie!”

“Okay, okay. You guard Sarah.”

“Yaddie!”

With Sarah taken care of, I went out to bravely face the foe.

My outfit gave me the best idea for how to deal with the guys in masks, and so I slipped out the door of the restaurant that led back to the mall proper, and said “Ahem!”

Needless to say, that pretty much had the effect I was hoping for - the bad guys stopped worrying about the shoppers fleeing and focused on me.

I almost felt sorry for them, they looked like teen boys who, having a super crush on some babe they only had posters of, then turning a corner and finding said babe waving to them.

They lowered their weapons (but the cannons in their pants were now pointed at me…)

“This is going to work... Of course, why would I ever doubt my natural charms?”

It was at that moment that the roof of the mall creaked, groaned, and then...

Vanished.

“Now what?”

A wind whipped up, and something started to come down toward us. At first, it was a light, then it became more solid.

It was a flying saucer.

No, I don't mean it was just a UFO. It was actually a flying saucer, just like the movies. It dropped down, and landed in the middle of the food court, and opened up, revealing what looked like a robot. In fact, it looked exactly like the robot from “lost in space”.

Then, something else came out of the ship, and I wanted to scream “Oh, come, on!”

It was a group of little green men. Again, I mean literally. They were maybe three feet high, florescent green, and reminded me of every Martian from every bad sci-fi movie ever made.

The robbers fled, and most of the civilians had found the exits, so it was me and a bunch of stereotype aliens.

Then I heard a soft pop, and Sarah and Yaddie were beside me.

“Hi”

“Yaddie!”

“You got any ideas?”

“Yaddie!”

Sarah said “Please Yaddie. People are going to get hurt”

“Yaddie!”

With that, Yaddie popped out, and a second latter, popped right in front of the spaceship.

“Yaddie!”

Yaddie, the robot, the aliens, and the ship itself popped, and were gone.

“I hope the little gal is okay”

“Yaddie seems to know what she is doing”

“What did it feel like, when she popped you”

“It was....interesting”

“You will have to go into details”

Before she could oblige me, Yaddie re-appeared.

“Yaddie!”

“You didn't hurt them, did you?”

“Yaddie!”

“Good girl”

I swear, Yaddie purred.

“As much as I hate to break up this love-fest, I think we still have some problems.”

The reason why I said that is the weather started to get weird. A massive storm seemed to develop faster than should have been possible. Sarah and Yaddie started to look for shelter, while I bravely headed for the center of the storm. I was soaking, my hairdo was ruined, and I wanted somebody to pay....

A figure came down out of the sky, waved a hand, and the roof re-appeared. I recognized him. He is called the Doctor, and not like the old British TV show. He stood there looking at me for a minute.

“What's up Doc?”

I had always wanted to say that......

He glowered at me, and said, "We must have word, Coyote"

Uh oh.....

Coming Soon!...

The amazing conclusion of the origin of Fluke, in a story called "Coyote ugly"