The Lucky One, Part 4

(Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, and all beings in between, this is the conclusion of the exciting origin of the Fantastic Fluke, “the luckiest person alive.” Without further ado, let's join today's adventure, already in progress....)

It was a dark and stormy night....

(Umm, Fluke? Dot here. Just what are you doing?)

(I got bored waiting for you, so I thought I would get started without you)

(Fluke, leave the writing to professionals, okay?)

(Fine. Should we catch every body up)

(Nah. If they want to, let them go back and read part 3 themselves)

(Dot, that is …. remarkably self-centered of you. I approve, of course.)

(Now that's a scary thought. Lets get going)

I looked up at the man they called the Doctor, our Sorcerer Supreme, as he floated above me, and said, “I am sorry. What was it you just said?”

“I said, we must have words, Coyote “

“Oh. For a second, I though you said 'We must have word' which made no sense to me.”

He glowered at me, which would have been more effective if he hadn't been floating about 10 feet above me.

“And another thing.” I continued, “What's with calling me Coyote? They call me the Fantastic Fluke, and the only Coyote I know of it the bar from the movie.”

“You mean Coyote Ugly?” Sarah asked.

“That's the one.”

The Doctor floated down to me, and said, “Do not play games with me, Coyote. Lord Dark Flame is on the loose, and I have little time to spare.”

(An aside to people in Dorothy's dimension, If you met a person who decides to use the name, “Lord Dark Flame” and you assume that such a person isn't a nice guy, you would be right. )

“Look, I honestly don't know who you are talking about. They call me Fluke, but you can call me Fantastic, and after a night together, you will.”

He looked at me very sternly, and said, “I will use the all-seeing eye of Odin, and find out what you are hiding, Coyote.”

“Sounds kinky. You should be at least taking me to dinner first.”

He pulled out an eyeball. It wasn’t his, but still, eww. What happened next was.... well, you ever see the movie version of the Lord of the Rings? That eye thing sweeping the land like a searchlight? Sort of like that. I shivered, and wished I was somewhere else....

And then I was.

Actually we were. Sarah, Yaddie, and I were well, elsewhere. (Let me just say, teleportation? Not a fun way to travel. Honestly, you’re better off taking the bus.) After our eyes (and stomachs) stopped spinning, I looked around. It was fairly dark, but a large full moon gave enough light to make me very unhappy with what I was looking at.

It was a castle.

It wasn’t some nice, bright castle, like the one at Disneyland. It was a dark, foreboding, creepy castle that came right out of central casting for horror films. (If castles had to audition for that part.)

“Yaddie, did you pop us?”

“Yaddie!”

“Good girl.”

“Yaddie!”

“Don’t suppose you would share as to where we are?”

“Yaddie!”

“Thought not.”

Sarah pulled out her phone, and then said, “No service, Eddi.”

“That’s not good news.”

That’s when things went from bad to worse. The ground shook, and suddenly, dozens of zombies were climbing out of the ground, and they were headed our way.   

“I don’t suppose you have a rocket launcher in your purse?” I asked Sarah.

“Not so much as a water gun, sorry.”

“Yaddie? Can you get rid of them? Or maybe get us out of there?”

“Yaddie!” Yaddie made a noise like “phoompht” and then looked embarrassed.   

“I assume that’s means no?”

“Yaddie!”

“Marvelous. “

“What about calling on your wizard buddy, Fluke?”

“Worth a shot. Hay Miss Wizard!   A weapon would be nice.”

Nothing.

Nada.

Zip.

“Okay, now we could be in trouble.”

“Fluke?”

“Sorry Sarah.” I closed my eyes and held her.

I felt a tap on my shoulder, and risked a peek. One of the zombies was trying to get my attention. Once it seemed sure it had succeeded, it made a reasonable approximation of a bow, and then pointed at the castle.

“Cooooome.” It said

“I think it wants us to come with.”

“I gathered.” Sarah said.

“Think we should?”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

So off we went.

We made our way up to the castle. Once we got to the door, it opened on its own, and our guide led us inside. As soon as we entered, I looked at a huge picture hanging on the wall, and said, “I know that guy from somewhere.”

“Fluke that’s …..HIM.”

“Him who?”

“That’s the Red Baron.”

“You mean the guy Snoopy fought?”

“That was a song, and no.”

“I am the descendant of the original ace fighter pilot .” said a voice.

“I apologize for my friend, Baron Von Richthofen , she has let TV rot her brain.” Sarah said, in a very shaky voice.

“Hay!”

“It is quite all right. Sadly, my predecessor   has been reduced to …. humor. I hope someday to restore the family honor.”

I slinked up to the Baron. “Well, looking at you, I judge you will succeed.”

“Umm, Fluke? Dial it down a tad?”

“What?”

The baron disentangled himself from me with some difficulty.

He asked, “And what are your names, lovely ladies?”

“I’m Sarah. The ‘lady’   trying to get into your pants is called Fluke.”

“Yaddie!”

“Oh, yeh. And this is Yaddie.”

He bowed slightly. “And to what I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“Yaddie kinda popped us here by accident. Then a bunch of zombies brought us inside.”

“Ah, yes. A rather effective group for guarding the doors. Less good at being company, however.”

“Well, if you are looking for company....” I started, only to be cut off by Sarah saying, “Not now, Fluke.”

“As charmed as I am by your offer, my dear, you actually arrived at a rather... private moment.”

“I am so sorry if we interrupted you, Baron. If you could provide us transportation, we would be glad to get out of your hair.”   Sarah said.

“Could you not leave the way you came?”

“No. Or at least when we asked Yaddie to pop us, nothing happened.”

“Well. Under the circumstances, perhaps I can send you on your way. Please come with me.”

I shrugged at Sarah, and we followed him. We went down a long hallway, up a long staircase,   down another long hallway, down a set of stairs, and finally, we were at a room that, based on the heavy door, was not built for visitors.

He opened the door, and said, “Please wait in my laboratory. I will be with you shortly.”

Looking inside, I could see why he called it a “laboratory”, and not a “lab”. A “lab” should have a bright science geek feel. This place was going for a very different vibe. More of a Frankenstein feel to the place, in fact. If he had a monster with bolts in its neck on a slab, it would be perfect.

After a quick look look around, I said to Sarah “Well, he seems charming enough. I bet he’d be fun in bed.”

“Please be careful, Fluke. From what I have read about him, he has a stringent code of honor, but he isn't a person to trifle with. Plus, I don’t think he would sleep with you or anybody else casually.”

“Too bad.”

“ Why, you getting   … itchy?”

“You offering to help scratch?”

“Can’t you take anything seriously?”

“Considering how my life has been the last couple of days? Besides, I thought you liked me”

“Eddi, when you were a guy, I liked you. Not because you were a guy, but because you were glad to have me around, and it showed.”

“I’m still glad to have you around. But I feel like i had been nothing but an observer in my own life before I changed. Now, I am trying to make up for lost time.”

“And I don’t blame you.” said our host, making me jump.

He was shirtless, but had added a cape. His chest was covered in strange symbols, but he obviously worked out, and I could feel my pulse rising.

Sara swatted me. “Stop drooling!”

“Sorry.”

He only smiled, and led us out to a room that was dominated by a large circle on the floor.

“Step inside, and the three of you will be sent home.” He said

“Thank you, Baron.” Sarah said.

He took her hand, and gave it a kiss, and then led her to the circle. “It is so nice to meet a respectful young lady.”

Sarah blushed, and stepped into the circle, followed by Yaddie. The Baron took my hand, and kissed it, just as he had done for Sarah.

He said, “The mark of Coyote suits you, I think. We should meet again, and we could discuss your power.”

“Mark of Coyote?” I said, as I stepped into the circle. “What the heck does...” the room vanished, or rather we did.

We were back in the mall. I looked around, but there was no sign of the Doctor. We made our way out, to find a small group of reporters and a policeman coming up.

The policeman said, “I take it that the excitement has ended? I got reports of men in masks, aliens, and I don’t know all what else. “

“All taken care of, thanks to yours truly.” I said.

“Fine. Anything left for me to do?”

“Let me smile pretty for the cameras,   I think.”

And that’s exactly what I did. Yaddie did a vanish, and Sarah stepped back, and let me bask in the glow of the admiration of all and sundry. After a while, I slipped away, and went back toward where we had parked the car. Sarah was waiting for me, and as soon as I got close, Yaddie popped back in as well.

“Miss me?” I asked.

“You’re lucky I waited. You could be walking home.”

“That’s me. The luckiest person alive.”

“I have been thinking about that. I think your luck power is responsible for what happened today.”

“You think?”

“Makes sense. How likely is it that all that stuff would happen? And the Baron too. I mean, we met an honest-to-God villain, and he just sends us home without even an evil laugh?”

“You did say he has a code of honor. Maybe it includes not being less than a gentleman to a couple of women.”

“Maybe, but when one of them clearly has superpowers? He doesn’t accuse us of spying on him, or anything?”

“I don’t know, Sarah. Plus, what’s the deal with this ‘Mark of the Coyote’ thing he mentioned? The Doctor called me Coyote too.”

“I am not sure, Eddi. Tomorrow, if you are up to it, we can do some searching online. For now, I think I need a bath. And no, I don’t want company, at least not this time.”

“Hmm. I will have to file that one away. But I feel like I need a bath myself. What about Yaddie?”

Sarah turned to the creature, and said, “Yaddie. Go with Fluke. With her luck, she might have an octopus in her bathtub, or something.”

I grinned at that. “Well, they do say you should save water and bath with a friend.”

“I am too tired to even want to imagine that. I will see you in the morning.”

She gave me a kiss, and then went toward her apartment. I went to mine, with Yaddie bouncing behind me. (Although I am not sure if its “bouncing” if you never hit the ground.)

Soon, I was all covered in suds, and enjoying myself, when, wouldn’t you know it, the door burst open.
“Yaddie!”

“Don’t do that!”

“Yaddie!”

“This better be good.”   

I dried off quickly, and by the time i was getting dressed, I could hear thumping.

“That’s coming from Sarah’s place.”

“Yaddie!”

“Yaddie, pop us over there. Now.”

We popped.

My first impression of Sarah’s place was maybe she was really the Doctor. Not the magician, but the TV character. Her place looked bigger on the inside that it looked from outside. The thumping was definitely coming from the bedroom, and I burst in with Yaddie right behind me to find ....

How do i put what she was doing delicately? She wasn't in distress, but she was making a lot of noise. She was using a large rubber toy, and she wasn't playing house. Anybody need me to draw them a picture?

She paused, and must have realized she had company. She opened her eyes, and looked at me.

“Hi. Sorry, Sarah. Thought I heard you being in trouble.”

“I can understand the confusion.”

“Well, again, sorry. We will... just leave you to your business.”

“Well, you kinda spoiled the mood now.”

“Yaddie!”

“Yaddie said she is sorry”

“I’m sure she is.”

“Anyway, we will see you in the morning.”

We slipped out.

“Yaddie!”

“Well, this is another fine mess you got me into.”

“Yaddie!”

We went back to our place, and went to bed. Can I say I had some …. interesting dreams?   

The next morning, I did some searching online on Coyote. Turns out, there was an Native American myth about this creature, who, well, looked like a coyote. The thing that interested me was that Coyote was a trickster. There was a knock at my door, and I went to let Sarah in.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

There was an awkward pause.

“Eddie... about yesterday...”

“Say no more, dear. You are talking to someone whose sex drive went from zero to maximum overdrive overnight.”

“That’s … rather decent of you.”

“Anyway, I learned a couple of things about Coyote, you wanna look?”

“Sounds good.”

She looked over what I had found, and said, “A trickster, huh? That seems to make sense.”

“But I thought my power was good luck.”

“Maybe, but maybe its just...probabilities. Like the odds against something happening.”

“Cool. Maybe if Douglas Adams shows up I can invite him to dinner at Milliways.”

“I think he’s dead, Eddi.”

“Then it would be pretty improbable of him to show up, wouldn’t it?”

Before she could reply, the floor shook, and my computer blinked out.

“What was that?” I asked.

As if in answer, my TV blinked into life, and a masked face was on the screen.

“Hello, citizens. I am Dr. Destructo, and you city will be destroyed, unless Aries meets my demands! Come to City Hall, oh great Commander, if you dare!”   The TV blinked out.

“I should go help, Sarah. Maybe you take Yaddie and get somewhere safe.”

“Okay, Fluke. Here’s the keys to my car. Good luck.”

“A rather ironic statement, all things considered.”

They popped out.

I put on my “costume”   and drove toward City Hall. When I got there, Commander Aries was fighting a giant robot. He looked like he was having fun, so I snuck around, looking for Destructo.   I figured he would be remotely running the robot, its kinda the thing he would do. So I looked around, and sure enough, he was sitting in a folding chair on the steps of City hall, giggling as he watched the robot fight with Commander Aries.

I was about to be the heroine who saved the day, when something hit me. I turned around and saw another robot, just like the one Commander Aries was fighting. Only one small difference. This one was six inches tall. And so my first real battle as a super heroine began....

About five minutes later, I was picking myself off the pavement for the third time, and making boxing motions with my hands, while saying “Come on....is that the best you got?” The fact that I was slurring my words, and   barely able to stand upright should in no way indicate how the fight was going...

When suddenly, the little robot was drenched in a small rainstorm. I looked overhead, and saw E-Girl, waving at me.

“I had him just where I wanted him!”

“I saw..”

“I suppose I should thank you.”

She smiled, and said, “You were doing wonderfully. What is your name?”

“They call me Fluke.”

“Well, Fluke, shall we tackle Destructo?”

“By all means, after you.”

She zipped toward where Destructo was sitting, and before he could even finish shouting “You won’t stop me this...” she had stopped him.

All I could do was applaud. She managed a passable curtsy, and handed the poor man to me.

She said, “Do you mind holding on to him until the Commander comes? I’m actually late for class.”

So I did my civic duty and was sitting on Destructo when Commander Aries showed up with the last couple of pieces of the giant robot. He said, “Thanks. What’s your name?”

“They call me Fluke.”

“Interesting costume. You know, I have built this facility to help new heroes learn to use their abilities, would you be interested in coming sometime?”

I practically jumped into his arms, and said, “A chance to come home with you? My momma didn’t raise no dummies.”

He actually blushed.

Before we could take off, reporters appeared like magic. Soon, I was being praised as the heroine of the day. And with the events at the mall yesterday still fresh in everyone’s minds, I was really starting to get a bit of a following. Finally, Aries begged off, and flew me to the Compound. How do I describe the Compound? Well, it deserves the capital letter, that’s for sure.

Its HUGE.

As Aries showed me around, it occurred to me that Sarah would love this. One of the things I learned about her during our power shopping trip was the fact she was a fan of Aries and had always dreamed of visiting here.   I asked Aries if that was something we could arrange, and he said he would look into it.

After the tour, Aries told me that The Doctor still wanted to talk to me, when I had a chance. I said “Not right now. I should get home, I’m sure my friend Sarah will be worried.”

“That’s fine, for now. Do take care of it, though. I have come to trust The Doctor in this type of situation.”

“I will, I promise.”

Soon after that, we were flying me back home. (a little aside about flying by way of a superhero. - I could understand why Lois Lane could get a hard-on for Superman after going for a flight. It’s exciting, freeing, and yet, at least for me, gave me a feeling of vulnerability that made me feel more feminine that I had since my transformation. The only analogy I could give is the difference between the lead in a dance, and being the one led.)

When we landed, I had a surprise waiting for me - Yaddie.

“Hi Yaddie.”

“Yaddie!”

“This... creature is yours?”

“I guess so. Yaddie this is Commander Aries. He’s one of the good guys.”

“Yaddie!”

“That means ‘hi’, I think.”

“Well, I better get going. Nice to meet you, Fluke.” He waved, and was gone.

“Yaddie!”

“Yaddie, can you take me home, please?”

We popped, and “landed” right in front of Sarah’s place. I knocked, and Sarah answered.

“Hi.” She said. “Fight go well?”

“Sure. Never in any doubt. The fact I am covered in bruises is just a trifle.”

“Aww, poor baby Come in..”

I came in, and said, “Anyway, things turned out okay. I got a chance to meet Aries. He even gave me a tour of the Compound.”

“Really? What was that like.”

“Pretty cool. You might be pleased to know, I asked about letting you visit, and Aries said he would look into it.”

“Eddi! You magnificent woman you!” She gave me a huge hug and a kiss. I made a mental note to do stuff like this more often.

“I have a surprise for you, Eddi.”

“Really. Do tell.”

“I will do better than tell. I will show.”

“Color me intrigued.”

“Wait here. I have been working on this all day.” She slipped into her bedroom, and I tried to find a casual   position to wait in. I didn’t know what she had in mind, but my imagination was doing   a pretty good job of coming up with some interesting theories .   

I’m a big girl, and I can admit that once a century, I’m wrong. And the theories I had entertained at that moment were wrong. Very, very, wrong.

She came out in a costume. Unfortunately it wasn’t a “Naughty Nurse” or a “Sexy Witch” costume (Hay, I like the old standbys, what can I say?) Instead, it was a superhero costume. It was also included   belt with the initials “RG” in what looked like diamonds.

“Should I ask what the heck that is?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I’m hoping I’m wrong.”

“I’m going to be your sidekick. I call myself ‘Rich Girl.’ Cute, no?”

“You are amazingly cute. But it’s not a good idea.”

“Why not?’

“Sarah, don’t remember the other day? We almost got eaten by zombies.”

“But we didn’t. Your power protected us.”

“Doesn’t mean it will always extend to you, hon.”

“I think it will, since you will want it to,”

Before I could come up with a witty retort, the doorbell rang. Sarah answered, and The Doctor stepped in.

“You again?” I asked.

“It is time, Coyote. You owe me an explanation for your presence on this plane.”

“Look. All I know about Coyote I learned from the Internet yesterday.”

I proceeded to give him the short version of how I got my amazing abilities.

He said, “A hole in the wall of your closet? Show me.”

I shrugged, and led him back to my home. “Rich Girl” and Yaddie tailed behind him. We went into my room, and I showed him the spot where Yaddie had taken me, the first night after my transformation. He did the eyeball thing again, and the next thing I knew, the path I had taken to the wizard was in front of us.

“I intend to get to the bottom of this.” He said, sounding rather peeved

“I’m coming with you. I deserve the truth.” I said, sounding heroic.

“Yaddie!”

“Sure, why not come too, Yaddie.”

“Me too.” Sarah, aka ‘Rich Girl’ said.

And so off we went, down the yellow brick road. (Oh, wait, that’s Oz.) Up, down. and even upside down, we traveled. Eventually,   we were approaching the home of the little wizard.

She took one look at us, and said, “Aww. I was hoping it would take you longer to get here, Doc.” She sounded like a little kid told to go to bed, and as she spoke, she transformed before our eyes.

She turned into a coyote.

Human sized, and standing on it’s back legs, but a coyote.

“All right, Coyote. Out with it. And the eye of Odin will know if you are lying.”

The coyote-thing sighed, and transformed back into her wizard form, and said, “I’m just having a little fun, Doc. Got to pass the time, especially since I’m stuck here.”

“Fun?” I managed.

“How did you get trapped, Coyote?” asked The Doctor.

“Loki. Cheesy little Asgardian....”

“The trickster tricked. Justice, I would think.”

She shrugged, and added, “And since I can’t leave, and its....beyond boring here, I sent my power back to Earth. I didn’t count on the real guardian of this place following to find my representative.”

“Yaddie?” Sarah and I exclaimed at the same time.

“Yaddie!” Yaddie said, looking pleased.

“Can you remove her power? She will cause chaos on Earth.” The Doctor asked.

“Nope. Her power is tied to this tree, and bonded to her body, as long as she lives. I didn't lie to you Fluke. You really are part of this place, now. I guess that's why the guardian follows you.”

The Doctor sighed even louder, and said, “Fine. But no more interference, got me, Coyote?”

“Spoilsport.”

“Coyote...”

“Okay, okay. She is on her own, from now on.”

“Let’s go home, Doctor.” Sarah said, and we started back the way we came. I looked back at my benefactor, and she winked at me.

Trying to think of happier thoughts, I asked. “What happens now?”

The Doctor sighed. “Well, I will turn you over to Aries. ” He said to me, “Maybe he can teach you how to control yourself.”

“You mean she will go to the Compound to be trained? Can I come, Fluke, please?” Sarah begged.

“I won’t go without you, ‘Rich Girl’. You’re my sidekick, after all.”

“Yaddie!”

“I guess I’m stuck with you too, Yaddie.”

We walked the rest of the way back in silence, and when we passed through the   hole in my closet, The Doctor said to me, “I expect to see you both bright and early tomorrow morning.”

I saluted, and said, “You got it, Doc.”

He vanished.

I let out a breath, and said, “Well, I guess that’s the end of a strange day.”

“With plenty more strangeness to come, I hope.” Sarah said.

“You’re probably right, Sarah, you’re probably right.”

And you know what? She was.

Fin.

(Well, th...th...that’s all folks, as someone once said. The amazing origin of the Fantastic Fluke. Will there be more tales to come? Only time will tell.)