The Superiors: The Saga of E-Girl

I can look out the window and see most of the Compound, the official home for Commander Ares and his teammate, The Doctor. I had never imagined that I would be among them, nor just what it would cost me to join the ranks of the "Superior". The Doctor wants me to spend some downtime working through what happened, so that I can put the guilt behind me and move on.

I don't know if I can, especially since I am constantly seeing the face of my best friend every night in my dreams. Every night I try to save her, every night I fail, just like I
did in real life. Everything I have accomplished with my powers since, all the lives I have helped save, cannot seem to make up for that failure. Or at least that's how it seems when I am asleep.

So, rather than face the dream again, I'm going over what happened, hoping that somehow I can make sense of it.

I guess I should start with how "The Superiors" came into being. Super-powers had been the stuff of comic books and sci-fi movies for a long time. Personally, I think Someone was trying to prepare us for the day that those stories would become real. When Commander Ares first appeared about 4 months ago it was the biggest story ever, but remarkably quickly, we got used to having him here, and then the Doctor as well, and of course there are the bad guys too.

I mean, it's news when Ares or the Doc save the day, but it's like everybody just takes them for granted

We have adapted.

At the time I had a lot of other stuff on my mind, mostly trying to get through my classes and trying to figure out where I fit in the world. I was still in high school, and just about the only thing I liked about it was Debbie Kelly. If compassion and gentleness had a face, it was hers.

She was my idol, and I was far from her only admirer. She had a light that emanated from within, and it brightened the world wherever she went, every day of her life. Until the day that light went out forever, and my world turned dark.

And yet it started so well. It started with her bubbling with good news about a trip to an island of Greece. A friend of her father's was an archaeology professor, and he sent a message saying that he had found a temple to Gaia, the earth goddess of the ancient Greeks. I was so overwhelmed with her infectious joy that I even managed to feel good for her boyfriend who was supposed to go with her. But the day before she was supposed to go, he managed to break his leg hanging lights in the school theater.

She suddenly decided that she didn't want to go alone, and for some reason asked me to come, because, she said, she knew I was crazy about the old myths and stories. A quick check with my mother and before I knew it, I was on an airplane with the most remarkable human being I had ever met, and we were headed for adventure.

So, after we arrived in Greece, it was a short boat ride to the island where the temple had been found. I was surprised to discover that beyond ourselves and the guide who had brought us, there were only 3 people on the island, including the professor who had invited Debbie. I asked about this, and the professor said that his local help had left as soon as they had unearthed the entrance at the top of a mountain on the island. Apparently the temple was about 50 feet below that spot, and they had rigged some ropes and a ladder to go down to the temple.

We had only been there an hour when a message for the professor came on the radio, and he asked us to hold the fort overnight and he would be back in the morning. If we had been a couple, it would have been amazingly romantic, but because she didn't see me that way, I quickly retreated to my tent and tried to suppress the attraction I felt for her.

While I was having my sleepless night, I heard a voice coming from the temple.

I went out and saw Debbie going toward the temple like she was sleepwalking. I found myself following, almost like I couldn't help myself. Debbie grabbed one of the ropes and began rappelling down like an expert. I followed using the ladder. Normally I am not found of heights, but this strange desire to follow overcame my fear.

Once down the hole, I looked around and saw Debbie going to a space in the wall and heard her speaking words in a language I couldn't understand, but somehow guessed was ancient Greek. The space opened, and beyond it was a large cave, and in the center was an altar, and behind the altar was the Goddess, Gaia, the Earth Mother. She appeared to be about 7 feet tall, covered from head to toe in green, and glowed with a vitality that is
hard to describe, but impossible to forget.

She approached Debbie, and Debbie quickly sank to her knees in adoration. The Goddess took her hand, raised her to her feet and said, "Welcome, my daughter, the time of destiny has come at last". She then said, "I have witnessed the coming of Ares and the other superior beings, and I made a pact with the Fates to create a heroine to represent my interests in this new heroic age. I will give you a portion of my power, the power to summon the spirits of the 4 elements - the Earth, the Air, the Water, and the Fire. This power will be placed in my belt, which I will give to you. Wear the belt, and call my name, and take the shape of the Heroine you wish to be."

"But be careful," she continued, "once you touch the belt again and say my name again, you will become your mortal form and be unable to transform again for 24 hours. Also, you must prevent anyone else from using the belt for the next 24 hours, or they will be able to access your power," she added. She placed the belt around Debbie's waist, and stood back and said, "Call my name, daughter, and choose your form, and fulfill your Fate!"

Debbie touched the belt, called out, "Gaia!" and was transformed in a blinding flash into E-Girl. I will never forget that moment, when she spun around in her super-hero outfit. It reminded me of our school's cheerleader outfits, but in green, with a white "E" on a cape, the symbols for the 4 elements on the chest along with the symbol for female, and another white "E" on the waist.

She called to me and said, "Isn't it fantastic?"

I must have seemed shocked, because she said, "Gaia," again and became herself.
"Come on!" she said, "let's go back up. I can't wait to get started!"

I paused and looked at the Goddess. She seemed to be looking at me strangely, almost sadly. I was going to speak to her, when Debbie called me again, and I turned to follow her up. And that's where my nightmare starts.

I have tried to avoid thinking of what happened next. Dreaming of it every night is hard enough. But the Doctor is convinced that by processing it, I will defuse its power over me.
Its worth a shot.

Debbie was more than half-way up when I began to climb the ladder. As I said, I am not over-fond of heights, so by the time I was a third of the way up I was totally focused on staying on. Then the earth shook, and I heard Deb scream.

I was helpless, on the other side of the pit when she fell. I reached out as far as I could while holding on to the ladder but I was too far away. She fell past me, and landed on the ground below. I scrambled down, and realized that she was hurt badly. I panicked, I went back to where the temple was but the Goddess was gone.

I went back to Deb, and as I wondered how I could possibly get her to safety, the words of the Goddess came back to me, the for the first 24 hours someone else could use the belt and summon the elements. I took the belt off Deb, put it on and shouted, "Gaia!"

The transformation took only seconds. I felt the power within me, and I knew what I could do.

There was only one thing wrong. I wasn't me. I wasn't even an ideal version of myself. I was her. I was E-girl.

I somehow managed to push aside my involuntary sex-change, and forced myself to deal with the issue at hand. I summoned the elemental force of Air, and floated upward, with Debbie in my arms. Once we were above ground, I sped as fast as the wind would take me toward Athens.

It was Debbie's only hope.

A few tense minutes later, I was looking for a hospital. I landed at the emergency entrance of a hospital attached to an American base, and quickly gave the care of Deb to the staff there.

I was going to wait until they finished working on her, but one of the nurses pointed to a
TV in the waiting room, and it showed the reason for the earthquake. Mount Olympus was erupting, and it was not a natural event, but being caused by one of the few super-villains around. I glanced back at the operating room where the doctors had Deb, but the nurse said to me,"Trust the doctors, they will do everything they can. Meanwhile, you are
needed. Go save other lives, we will try and save hers."

I looked at her, and realized she was right. As long as I had these powers, I needed to do something good with them.

Soon I was airborne again, about to confront a super villain.

It was something I had sometimes dreamed of, I just never thought I would be doing it in the body of a beautiful young woman. Not that I had any time to reflect on my changed shape. I was running on adrenaline, and my brain seemed to be on auto-pilot.

In what seemed like seconds, I was approaching the madman the papers called Dr. Destructo, and shouting at him to stand down. He turned, noticed me, and yelled out. "You are not the one I am waiting for. I want that fool Ares, or I will destroy Athens!"

As if on cue, the hero called Ares streaked into view and said,"You want me, you got me Destructo!"

I decided to let the boys play while I summoned the elements of Earth and Fire to put out the volcano. The two men were struggling together, when suddenly Destructo said, "Now, Nightmare, now!" and a rip appeared in the sky above us, and began to pull Ares in. I raced to grab Ares by the hand and tried to escape the pull of the rip. But it was too strong. We were sucked in. And then, things got really weird.

We were pulled into Nightmare's realm, which is just about impossible to describe.
When they found me, I was reliving the fall of Deb for what seemed like the thousandth time. The Doctor had arrived, and he used his magic eye, and we were back in reality. We had been gone for hours, apparently.

Thing is, they both assumed the only nightmare I had faced was the one they had witnessed, and the Doc had been treating me accordingly, although I am pretty sure he knew I was holding something back.

See, the worst part wasn't having to watch me fail to catch my best friend in time over and over again. It was coming to face with the fact I was now inhabiting the body of a
girl. Actually, that wasn't it either. It was the realization that I didn't mind being one.

Shouldn't the loss of my masculinity been horrifying? But it wasn't. Instead, it was like being a boy was a burden that had been weighing me down, only I didn't realize it until that weight was lifted.

What was I supposed to do with that feeling? I couldn't process it. Even my failure to save Deb paled in comparison.

Once we were back, they wanted to take me to the compound and have me checked out, but I desperately wanted to get back to Deb and give back the belt before the time ran out.

And then just to make things more difficult, a minor-league villain called The Caster decided to pick that moment to show up and attack.

He tried to zap Commander Ares, and hit me instead. Ares had him restrained in seconds, and turned back to me, but I shook off the effects of The Caster's blast, and was in the air headed back to the hospital. Ares started toward me, but Doc said, "Let her go,
Commander."

I landed in the parking lot, and decided it was a long past time for me to get out of this form, so I said the name, "Gaia!"

Then I tried to take off the belt. Only I couldn't. Between the time I spent in Nightmare's realm, and Caster's spell, I was bonded to the belt as Debbie had supposed to have been. I swore and thought "What the heck am I supposed to do?"

I decided the only thing I could do was to go back to Gaia herself and get her to get the belt off me and give it back to Deb. I decided I would do that right away, so without even going into the hospital, I took off for the island. It hadn't hit me yet that it was already too
late. I went to her temple, but I found no sign of her.

Then I heard a voice telling me, "It's time." It was Deb's voice.

Suddenly I knew I had to get back to the hospital. I flew back, and found the charge nurse, but as soon as I asked about Deb, her face fell, and I knew.

"She's gone," we said almost in unison.

"She died about 20 minutes ago," the nurse said, "I am sorry."

I didn't say anything, but just went out, and soon was flying again. So many different feelings were competing for space in my head I am surprised I didn't fly into something. I realized just how much I had loved Deb, how much I was going to miss her, how guilty I felt for not saving her. I also felt that she was the only person I would trust with the knowledge of my gender change was her.

I felt sure that if anyone could help me sort out what that meant, it would have been her. I am not sure how long I had been flying when the Doc spotted me, and led me back
to the compound, where I have been since

I did manage to convince the Doc that I needed to go to Deb's funeral, even if all I had to wear was the E-Girl uniform.

By the end of that day, I had buried my friend, and had a unique conversation with both
her folks and my own. It helped that I had an even more unique conversation with Gaia before the funeral. She said that the Fates told her that Debbie was doomed to die, and so she felt she had no choice but to prepare a replacement, me. She told me that the belt and I are one, and there is no turning back, but If I wanted to appear as a mortal girl I just had to put on regular clothes over the uniform and that's all anyone would see.

She then showed me my past, and through it I saw the truth. I was always supposed to have been a girl.

She also had another surprise for me, Deb, in spirit form. Deb assured me that she doesn't blame me, and that she is happy and at peace. Gaia also told me I would have help making the transition from boy to girl. So on our way to my hometown to pay our respects at Deb's funeral, I came clean to both Ares and the Doc.

I had debated with myself whether or not I should, but I was convinced that if I was going to be a member of their team, I have to be able to be honest with them. Ares' reaction was priceless. He is an old-fashioned man's man and you could tell the concept gave him pause. But he showed why he is admired by almost everyone when the confusion he
obviously felt was replaced by acceptance. Doc was a lot harder to read.

But I am glad I did it, because it was a good rehearsal for the meeting with my folks and Deb's parents. I told her folks how much she had meant to me, and then I told mine who I was, and what had happened to me.

Then in a week of surprises I got a couple of pleasant ones. My mom said to me, "Sweetie, I knew you were a girl when you were inside me. I was shocked when you came out looking like a boy."

Then Deb's mom said "Hun, we are going to be hurting for a while, and we are going to miss our daughter like crazy. But if you need help learning how to be a girl, I want you to know you can call on us. I am convinced that's what Deb would have wanted."

Then the Doc said to my mom, "It is for the best if everyone believes that your son had died in Athens with the young lady."

I replied, "No. I am not lying or hiding anymore. Nobody knows how many young boys have a history like mine, and feel ashamed because of it. The only way to counter that shame is with honesty."

So that's what I did. I held a press conference a couple of hours later, with my parents at my side, and told the world my story. The reaction has been, needless to say, mixed. But I believe I made the right choice. I am already getting messages from young people who feel trapped in their birth gender, full of despair that they will ever be accepted as who they really are, and how glad they are that I'm out there, being a positive role model.

So now I have even better reasons to be the best heroine I can be. Because I can make a difference to all those kids. And having spent all day working through it, and reading those messages again, I have realized that the Doc was right.

I may stumble and feel guilty at times in the future, but I now realize the death of my friend wasn't the end of the story.

And you know, I think I am going to be okay after all.