Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 1182.

The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike)
Part 1182
by Angharad

Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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“Is she some sort of witch?” Hendry asked Nicholls.

“Nah, an angel of mercy.”

“I was sure that kid had croaked,” Hendry continued.

“Anyone can make a mistake,” reassured Nicholls, “And Cathy is rather special.”

“Which one is Cathy?”

“The mother, why?”

“I just wondered–I’m sure I’ve seen her somewhere before.”

I sat and listened as the two consultants chatted whilst watching Julie, whose respiration was now regular and her heart and blood pressure stable.

“She seems to spend an inordinate amount of time here, she has a big family and they seem to have more than their share of trouble.”

“Why’s this one in here anyway, I mean before the cardiac?”

“She was shot.”

“Shot? People don’t get shot in Portsmouth, it’s not Manchester or London or the bloody wild west.”

“Alas, this poor kid is the exception which proves the rule or something like that.”

“Why has she been shot?”

“Presumably to kill her, that’s the usual reason I believe.”

“Ken, that isn’t funny–now why was she shot, gang stuff?”

“Gang stuff? Doesn’t that usually apply to deprived areas with loads of unemployment?”

“Yeah, I suppose so–so these don’t come from that sort of background?”

“Did you see the mother in designer jeans and sweater? Those trainers cost an arm and a leg.”

“That means little, Ken, these days people go without food to buy designer wear. Are you trying to tell me they’re well off?”

“Cathy, the mother works for the university as a lecturer, she also makes films. Simon, her husband works for a bank.”

“Yeah, good white collar stuff–so?”

“Simon’s father owns said bank.”

“They’re millionaires?”

“Something like that, say, million spelt with a ’B’,” replied Ken Nicholls.

“She seems down to earth for a billionaire.”

“I don’t think she is, but pa-in- law is.”

“What sort of bank, a private merchant bank?”

“No, more mainstream than that.”

“Like Coutts?”

“No, like High Street.”

“But that’s one of the fastest growing banks in the country?”

“Spot on, Dr Hendry, can we discuss your family now? Or better still, how is my daughter doing?” I decided to interrupt their discussion as it was probably erroneous and besides, they were there to make Julie well again.

He coloured up like a tomato, “Um, Mrs Kemp,” he said looking at Julie’s name card over her bed.

“She’s not Mrs Kemp, she’s Lady Cameron,” corrected Nicholls.

“Sorry, should I curtsey or something?” asked Hendry joking about his mistake.

“No we stopped insisting on that weeks ago,” I replied. “Now how is she doing?”

“She’s doing fine, your majesty.” Hendry obviously didn’t like playing second fiddle to an aristocrat by marriage.

“That form of address only applies in Scotland,” I threw back at him–“direct descendant of Robert Bruce.” Which I believed was true on both sides of the family, I suppose I should have been grateful I wasn’t called Robert or Bruce–the latter name I couldn’t take seriously after Monty Python’s Australian sketch.

“Well, maybe I should bow then as my granddad was from Scotland.”

“So is McVities shortbread and Irn Bru,” I rebuffed him.

“Okay, Lady whatever, what did you do to your daughter?”

“Told her to get well.”

“Yeah, sure ya did.”

“Is it my fault that I seem to get more respect than you?” I felt irritated by this man.

“Because you’re wealthy?”

“No, because I’m who I am.”

“And who is that, exactly?”

“An agent of illumination.” I was staying deliberately obtuse.

“What, you sell light bulbs?” he quipped back.

“No I’m a priestess of Darwinism.”

“Excuse me? Didn’t Darwin sort of recant on his death bed?”

“He’s still one of the greatest minds of all time.”

“What making notes on earthworms?”

“He actually collated a study with dozens of volunteers doing his field work for him and was one of the first to appreciate the importance of Lumbricus to the health of the planet. It happens to be far more important than doctors.”

“Sure it goes to university for seven years...”

“Without humble earthworms very little would grow as the soil would be impoverished and un-aerated, millions of us would starve to death.”

“I suppose you’re going to tell me, honey bees are more important than doctors, too.”

“Is that a question or a statement of logic?” I threw back.

“So if doctors are so irrelevant to your world, how come you brought your daughter here when she was shot?”

“It was closer than home, and getting blood out of sheets is a huge chore.”

“Oh very funny,” he replied meaning the exact opposite.

Simon arrived–“Where’s the guy from the door?”

“Oh he went ages ago,” I told him.

“He was supposed to stay here no matter what happened.”

“He didn’t, he disappeared about the time Julie arrested.”

“Arrested? Arrested who?”

“Cardiac arrested–her heart stopped,” you have to keep it simple for bankers.

“At her age?” Simon was very surprised.

“We suspect someone slipped her something, or put it in the drip.” I looked at the doctors, Ken nodded and Hendry shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m paying these guys a fortune, so it shouldn’t have happened–you wait till I see Morris.”

“Who’s Morris?” I asked.

“The CEO of Morris Security Services.”

“He doesn’t own a garage, does he?” I asked and it washed straight over Simon’s head–he’s obviously never heard of the MG marque.

“Not as far as I know. Are you coming home or what?”

“In the absence of our own garde loo, I suppose I’d better stay and watch out for her.”

“What about feeding the baby?” He turned to the two doctors and said, “She’s breast feeding the baby.”

“Send me in my breast pump and some bottles and I’ll do some here while I sit with Julie.”

At this Hendry’s eyes went very wide–I can only suppose he’s never seen anyone breast feed or express milk before.

“I’ll get some sent over from the maternity unit, if you’d care to wait Lord Cameron, you can take some home with you.” Ken Nicholls went off to use the phone and Hendry made another check of Julie.

“I think she’ll be alright now, unless she’s suffered some brain damage from the delay in restarting her heart.”

When he heard this, Simon’s face fell. I reassured him that she was okay. Hendry threw some black looks at me as if to say, ‘Stick to your earthworms.’ I looked back at him. “How is your back nowadays?” I asked him.

“It’s fine now thanks–hey, what d’you know about my back?”

“You have a chipped vertebra, you got it playing rugby at university–fullback I think, you were scared of him when you went into the tackle and consequently you got hurt. Here,” I touched him on the back. He jumped back and screamed with pain.

“What have you done?” he bent over then stood up straight, “Jeez, it feels better–what did you do?”

“Oh it’s an old trick we Darwinists do from time to time–but it should be better now.”

“What has she done?” asked Ken returning, “Bottles and pump on their way over. Now what did you do to him?”

“She hit me on the back, it hurt like hell then it felt great.”

Ken narrowed his eyes at me, “I thought you said you’d retired from that stuff?”

“Well, you know how I like a challenge...”

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