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This story is a continuation of A Question of Balance. Thus far: Three women, centuries old and practitioners of Draihoidel, the old arts, had come along side a girl in desperate need of understanding and encouragement. Two other souls received strength and encouragement, including the one who would demonstrate a new-found courage in helping the family and herself....

“Each of us will influence a mortal to make decisions, as we always have. We are bound by those decisions, even if they become difficult or even problematic, as they say. Whatever they choose to do will guide and may ultimately decide what happens to this sweet couple.”

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Previously...at the McCarthy home...

“You kids need to get ready. I know that having a car changes things, Mike, but you still have to get to school on time." Breena called to her nephew. Michael McCarthy bounded down the stairs, his sister Patty following close after him.

“Mind you get straight back here right after school. I need the car to take Patty to the doctor.”

“Oh, can we just skip today, Aunt Breena?” Patty asked. I can just pop by her office tomorrow and get the new prescription tomorrow morning. Chelsea and I wanted to go to the library to study.” Breena half-frowned and said,

“Plenty enough time for that…besides, Dr. Murdoch is off to a conference tonight and she won’t be back until Tuesday. I’ll drop you by her house right after the appointment, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike said with a sigh. He had wanted to get together with his girlfriend Hilda that afternoon as well. Less focused than his sister, Mike had lapsed into some poor habits recently and really had not considered the implications. He was going to learn soon enough that actions have consequences; some difficult to deal with perhaps, but also beneficial if one is willing to learn from them.

As Breena placed the cereal bowls on the dining room table, a bright light began to stream through the window of the front storm door. A moment later the bell rang.

Janey McCarthy, most recently deceased and even more recent Siobhan, the newest member of the Four, stood at the front door. Breena was surprised enough to drop one of the bowls. Neddie ran quickly from the kitchen, wagging his tail. Ignoring the woman at the door, he made a beeline for the pile of spilled Cheerios and inhaled them in an instant. Patty stood stock still, while Mike walked over calmly and opened the door and smiled warmly at his mother as if greeting a dead parent was something he did every day.

Janey looked back and forth between her son, her daughter, her sister and the Irish Setter who was wagging his tail and said simply,

“Begging your pardon, dear hearts, but can ye tell me…Am I late for breakfast?”

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"Mom?" Patty ran to the door way and hugged Janey, for that is who she was in her once mortal form. Breena continued to stand by the dining room table, staring at her sister while the dog continued to eagerly lap up the cheerios at her feet.

"As ever was, baby girl." Janey grabbed her youngest and squeezed tightly as the two stared at each other; Patty in amazement and Janey in pure joy.

"It seems first assignment will be to work with a dear lovely family that I just happen to know."

"Assignment? Are you going to be working with us?" Michael said as he closed the front door. Janey turned and smiled.

"In a manner of speaking; rather, dear boy, you will be working with me. I've got more than a couple of folks to help, and I need help myself if I'm going to be of any use to them. And who better to work with than my own kin?" She smiled wryly at Michael and continued.

"Besides, Calleigh, my new friend and mentor, has mentioned that someone here has some experience?"

"NO...no tell me you're not...." Michael held up his hands in protest.

"No, darlin', nothing so drastic as a transformation this time...leastwise anything that drastic..." She smiled at him again.

"What...what are you going to do to me?" Michael almost cringed. Being transformed into one of the women the last time and then to be returned to his mortal form, only to be asked to dress in girls' clothes to show solidarity with his sister...it was almost more than he could handle, but handle it he did.

"Michael, son of mine....why does this have to be all about you?" She practically giggled, evoking a similar response from Patty.

"You haven't even asked who we...yes, we are going to help." She shook her head and raised her finger in mock scolding.

"Well, either way, come give your mother a kiss, won't you. I don't bite, you know!" She held out her hands in welcome. He stepped closer and hugged Janey who pulled him close and whispered,

"I can't talk right now, but I need you, Michael...for your Aunt Breena's sake!"

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A while later, at the school...

"Diane Lambert, Guidance department," she spoke softly into the phone. A smile crossed her face as she recognized the voice on the other line.

"Oh, hi, honey! No...I'm still alive. The tar and feathers don't seem to be anywhere in sight; maybe I'll make it to the end of the day after all. Yes...I could feel your prayers. No..yes...I am scared. This job...it's more than a job....yes...yes....I know....If God is for me...who can be against me....No...I know I should trust more, but this is so hard." She shook her head and paused, looking out the window.

"One sec, hon...just a moment, okay?" She bit her lip and put her hand to her face. Hopefully Phyllis wouldn't burst in and find her crying. Trudy was such a blessing, and just the sound of her voice and her encouraging words had brought her to tears.

"I'm sorry, honey....it's so hard....this is all so new and with not much help here...I know.... Maybe? The board hasn't called me, so I guess I still have a job...." Her voice faltered at the mention of the job. She really loved the kids she worked with. She was a fairly soft-spoken person, but recent events had brought her out of her shell; she worried that her boldness may have been to the detriment of the students.

"No...I know...maybe I should have waited...oh gosh, Trudy...what if I've been wrong all along... what? Yes, I know you love me....you really think it's the right time? I'm not...what?

Yes....yes...no, It's not about me, Trudy...it has to be about the kids...if my needs get in the way of the work....I'd leave...yes I would...." The thought of quitting was too much for her and she began to sob; she didn’t even notice she had disconnected the call. A few minutes later...

"Ms. Lambert? Diane?" A voice came from the doorway. Connie van Zyle leaned in and spoke softly.

"Hon? Diane?" Diane lifted her head from the desk.

"Trudy just called me...said you were having...anyway, she said she'll see you at home." Connie smiled warmly. She had a tremendous amount of respect for Diane, even though she only new this part of her colleague for a few days. She stepped inside the office and closed the door.

"Connie...I'm so sorry...you're going to be in the middle of all this." Diane said as she wiped her face with her blouse sleeve.

"I've been through worse, and besides, you need all the help you can get." She laughed softly and stepped closer to the desk. Leaning over she put her hand on Diane's shoulder; an altogether foreign when Diane was Don, but it seemed so necessary and right.

"You're going to be fine, sweetie. Everything is going to work out. Your wife loves you; the kids just adore you....maybe even more than ever. And I've got your back. “Connie walked to the window and lowered the shade. She did the same to the door window before returning to the desk.

"I'm going to hold all calls for a while. I want you to rest for a bit, okay. Power to the Sisterhood,” She chuckled and touched Diane lightly on the wrist.

"It's going to be just fine." She smiled and continued.

"Diane...Trudy said to tell you something else....Believe." She was out the door a moment later. Diane put her head down on the desk and wept.

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

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A while later...at the Athletic Director's office...

“Hey, Boss, you hear what happened in Guidance?” Dave Ackerman stood at the doorway to Paul Giambrone’s office. Paul looked up from his planner and sighed. He knew, but he also expected he’d hear about it from Dave, no matter what he said. Dave didn’t wait for an answer.

“Lambert finally did it...he came to work...dressed as a....”

“I believe the word you’re searching for is woman, Dave.” Paul shook his head but resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Yeah...I just don’t get it. Why would he want to do that?” Dave laughed.

“Well, for one thing, it’s not he!”

“What do you mean, not he? This is a guy we’ve known for how many years? Of course he’s a ‘he.’”

“Dave...she explained in the assembly last spring that she was a woman...that she had been dealing with this issue for a long time. I guess she decided to finally address the issue.” Paul shook his head once again and sighed. He had known Don Lambert since high school, and while they never were that close as teens, they developed an instant rapport when Paul was hired as the Athletic Director at the school.

“Best friends tell each other their secrets, right?” He thought. Apart from Trudy, no one really knew about Diane’s plans to “come out” besides Paul.

“Diane...” He thought; even as Dan's best friend, Paul found it hard to remember that names change at times like these. He treasured his friendships like gold, but this one had been special. Dan's ...now Diane’s ability to see through his defenses challenged him to change and grow; He’d miss that now that ‘he’ was a ‘she.’

“I just don’t get it,” Dave was stuck. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“Well, Dave, keep in mind that we don’t have to understand everything; some things we just have to accept as what is important or real for someone else. If you’re really having a hard time, you can always look at the circular the Board sent over last spring about transgender teens; it applies to adults. And our new Health text book has a whole chapter on it as well, okay?” Dave nodded but it was clear he still didn’t understand. Paul went out on a limb, which was going to prove to be very shaky.

“Bottom line? She’s a great person and a great counselor. She’s my best friend, and I trust her decision, even if I don’t understand it.” Paul didn’t mean to snap at Dave; he meant well as far as ignoramuses go, but Paul had grown tired of the constant carping by Dave and his fellow teachers regarding Diane Lambert.

“Take it easy, boss...I didn’t mean anything by it; I always liked the guy...I guess I’ll have to figure out how to like the girl, huh?” Dave shrugged his shoulders apologetically.

“You know, Dave...I think that there’s hope for you, yet.” Paul smiled and went back to his day timer as Dave left the office.

“Hope for me, too.”

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

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At the Lambert home that afternoon...

“Hey, honey, how did it go today?” Trudy wheeled her chair up to Diane as she closed the front door. Diane gave her a peck on the cheek before laying her purse on the table in the hall. She watched as Diane walked down the hall way to their bedroom without comment.

“Honey? Diane?” It was rare but increasingly more frequent for Diane to hear her name. They usually exchanged ‘hon’ and ‘sweetie’ and the like, with an occasional ‘Di’ or ‘Tru’ thrown in, but she had hardly heard her name since her transition had begun. To be fair, Trudy rarely called her Dan before the process began, preferring dear or darling instead. She wheeled herself into the bedroom and found Diane on the bed, her face buried in a pillow, weeping.

“Oh, God, honey...Don’t....please...it’ll be okay...” Trudy pled with her as she wheeled up to the bed. She reached over and grabbed Diane’s left hand and squeezed. Diane turned her face toward her and sighed.

“I should have never started this. It’s going to take away from the kids and it really serves no purpose other than soothe my feelings. I’m so sorry...I...” Trudy squeezed her hand harder.

“Shhhh....shhhhh....no, Di...no....don’t do this.” She began to tear up; the pain in her face a mirror image of the hurt etched in Diane’s face.

“I’m...who am I trying to kid. This is so...selfish. Look what it’s done. I’ll probably lose my job. I’m of no good to them if I can’t be there. I should have just stayed the way I was. It would have been.”

“Diane...it would have killed you if you didn’t change. Even if you had never acted on it, you would have died inside.

“Oh, Tru...I’m sooo sorrreee,” she sobbed. Maybe the hormones were responsible; of course they might have added to an already difficult emotionally charged situation, but really, the tears and sobs were driven by untoward guilt and shame. Diane had nothing to be sorry for; no more than any of us perhaps, but she had done nothing wrong, and was feeling condemned for finally acting on something that made her complete and more helpful and caring than ever.

“No...Stop this instant. I’ll not have you apologize for being who you are. Look at me, Di...look at me.” Trudy’s tone was angry, but of course wasn’t directed so much at Diane as at the guilt and shame behind her weeping. Diane lifted her head and looked into Trudy’s eyes.

“No...look here.” Trudy used her hand in a broad gesture to point to her as she sat in the wheel chair.

“What do you think of me? Of this?” She knew the answer. Their time together from the beginning had been marked by unconditional acceptance and encouragement.

“What? What do you mean?” Diane shook her head. Trudy smiled at her.

“Should I just give up? I mean...I’ll never walk...I’m not a whole person, Di. Should I just give up?”

“Oh, God, honey...no....of course not....You’ve been such a blessing...why would you say that?”

“Why would you say what you just said, Di? If you’re not redeemable then neither am I. If you should just stay in your pain and disappointment...then why shouldn’t I just give up? You’ll never be a real woman, and neither will I. We just have different lacks. We both fall short...we’re both flawed... incomplete.” By now Trudy was crying almost as much as Diane.

“Trudy...no...you’re not incomplete...you complete me..you make me whole...you make my life real and worth living. No...no, my God....you’ve given me life...” Diane reached over and pulled Trudy out of her chair and into bed.

“Then if I’m worth redeeming then so are you.” Trudy sobbed as she kissed Diane. They held each other tightly, almost as if the storm of the day threatened to sweep them away.

“You’re going to become who you have been all along. You are going to show them how much courage and heart you have, and that you have so much to give.... there’s nothing wrong with you...nothing, my dear sweet...” The two wept in each other’s arms. It had been a long day for both of them, but the evening would be filled with hope and joy and love.

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

Next: Live Reckoning

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When You Believe
from the Motion Picture
Prince of Egypt
Words and music by
Kenneth (Babyface ) Edmonds and
Stephen Schwartz
as performed by
Mariah Carey and
Whitney Houston
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kfpE8xYBmY