The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1156 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

Phoebe sat quietly all the way home. In fact apart, from the noise of the car and Trish occasionally sounding like a ferret that had got its gonads caught in a gin trap as she sang along with Kylie; there was no noise. I wondered if the weekend was now going to be a negative experience for Phoebe, and part of me felt it would serve her right and part felt that I’d like Julie to have more friends.

I don’t have many, never have had. I wasn’t popular in school except as a target for bullies–until I did Lady Macbeth–then all the gay boys and one or two straight ones wanted me to go out with them–as a girl. In those days I didn’t have any feelings about anything, I assumed I was asexual, as many transsexuals are supposed to be. Then Simon happened and that car mechanic bloke, Kevin who kissed me and caused a little discharge in my knickers. I suspect he would still, which is why I haven’t joined his cycling club–that doesn’t mean I don’t love Simon, because I do more than ever. It simply means that I can window shop, like with Gareth–he’s lovely and if I wasn’t spoken for, I’d be fighting Stella for him–metaphorically of course.

We arrived at the house and after allowing Phoebe to put her bag in Julie’s room, I went to check on the turkey. It was pretty well done, so were the roasties and the carrots and cabbage were nearly so.

Tom was the first back–“Not turkey, ’tisnae Christmas is it?” His eyes sparkled and I managed to put the kitchen knife back into the block rather than between his shoulder blades.

Minutes later the Jaguar indicated the arrival of Simon and the lawn mower noise meant Julie was home. They came in together Simon with his arm around his foster daughter’s shoulder.

“Hi, Pheebs,” said Julie and the two teens embraced.

Julie rushed upstairs to change and I asked Phoebe to lay the table. She had no idea what to do and when I looked for Trish, she was missing. Livvie showed her what to do, and eventually we got the table laid–in the dining room.

“Don’t you ever like do that at home?” asked Livvie.

“What? We don’t like eat at the table, you can’t see the telly can you?”

“I don’t know, we don’t have the telly on during dinner, and besides, it’s in the lounge and we eat in the kitchen or dining room.” Livvie seemed disgusted by Phoebe’s home. She told me after the older girls had gone to the cinema.

Trish had gone to tell Julie that Phoebe had seen her dangly bits. I was about to dish up the dinner when Trish came to say that Julie needed me urgently. I ran up the stairs thinking she’d hurt herself only to find she was sitting on the bed looking anything but pleased with life.

“Phoebe knows about me, then.”

“So she said, I didn’t tell her.”

“No, Trish told me she like saw my dangly bits through my nightie.”

“I told you to wear knickers as well.”

“Yeah, but they’re so hot.”

“So are the fires of hell, allegedly, which is where you seem to be at the moment.”

“Yeah. Is she gonna stay?”

“As far as I know, but I have qualms about where she’s sleeping.”

“I won’t touch her.”

“I know that, but I can’t be sure she won’t touch you.”

“That’d be a waste of time–it don’t get hard anymore. She must have good eyesight, it’s got so small since I’ve been on the pills.”

“Is that a regret?”

“No way, I’d have felt happier if it had dropped off altogether.”

“Would have made life difficult for a surgeon who wanted to do a conversion for you.”

“Yeah, I s’pose so.”

“Mind you, you could always ask Trish, she has some experience in removing gonads.”

“I think I’ll wait, especially if Daddy’s gonna like pay for it.”

“That’s what he said, maybe he’s hoping to get a bulk purchase order with you, Trish and Billie?”

“He’s not, is he?”

I hoped the question was a rhetorical joke, but I had my doubts.

“Dinner’s cooked, c’mon let’s go and eat.”

The atmosphere over dinner was a little strained, with Julie seeming a little withdrawn from her ebullient entrance. Phoebe was flirting with Simon and Tom, and I realised how poor I was at it in comparison with her.

The meal itself was fine, and I did have some cranberry sauce, as well as sausage-meat stuffing, although I wasn’t trying to do an early rehearsal for Christmas. Tom tucked in despite his previous comments, while Stella played with her food while her mind was miles away, probably taking Gareth’s clothes off him.

Trish and Livvie squabbled about homework–they both had different ideas about which subject they should be doing. I was tempted to make them do both. Danny was telling Billie about his latest football match, and I sat and watched the interactions between the various diners.

Towards the end of the meal, tiny wee decided she wanted her breast meat and it wasn’t from a turkey. I went off to feed her in the kitchen and get some peace and quiet.

A little later Gareth turned up for Stella and they gave the older girls a ride to the cinema, from where Simon or I would collect them. Tom did his grandfather thing with the others, playing Monopoly with them. Even Danny took part, although we all knew who was going to win before it started.

I spoke with Simon about my concerns regarding Phoebe. “Yeah, but there’s little chance of them doing anything is there–not after all this time on the pills?”

“I have no idea–if they did, I suspect Julie’s sperm would be infertile, if she could actually produce any.”

“Could you?”

“No–but that was because I didn’t know how.”

“What, you didn’t pull Percy?”

“No–I had no inclination to touch it except to wee or wash.”

“Cor, Cathy you must be the only person in history who didn’t.”

“Quite honestly, it never attracted me.”

“Not even when it went stiff in the mornings?”

“It didn’t do that.”

“Not after the pills, no.”

“No, before the pills.”

“Are you trying to tell me it didn’t get hard, ever?”

“Yes.”

“Did you damage it?”

“Not that I’m aware of, except my father did kick me once there, but that was much later, and I was about to start the pills then anyway.”

“There must have been something wrong with you.”

“Probably. As things have worked out, I’m not complaining as I didn’t really have a male puberty, so I had a female one instead.”

“I’m not complaining either,” he observed.

“What do we do about where Phoebe sleeps?”

“Up to you, babes, I’ll support whatever you decide.”

“If I ask them to promise to behave, d’you think they will?”

“Probably, you scare me enough, so you probably terrify them.”

“Thank you very much,” I sighed, “I shall just tell them if they do anything they shouldn’t, Phoebe will be sent home and not invited again. How does that sound?”

“Terrific–let’s do that then–how about a little cuddle while Trish is breaking the bank?”