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(aka Bike) Part 1144 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad
All Rights Reserved. |
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It was three o’clock as we began to leave Salisbury on the A36, just when it began to rain. It had been a fine morning so loads of the school kids were caught without umbrellas or raincoats–not that some of them bothered, wearing just shirts or blouses. They’d have been in deepest doo-doo in my days, detention for not wearing the proper uniform.
On the outskirts of the city we passed someone holding a card saying Portsmouth, please. It was a young woman of about sixteen and she was soaking wet. I stopped the car and she came running up to it.
“I can take you to the city centre, is that any use?”
“That would be brill,” she said, her whole face lighting up.
“Hop in then.”
She got in and I introduced myself as Cathy, she said her name was Phoebe.
“So do you know Portsmouth?” I asked, making conversation, the baby having gone off to sleep as soon as the car started moving.
“I’ve been there a few times.”
“Where are you staying?” I asked aware that she only had a small grip with her.
“With my brother.”
“Where does he work, the dockyard?”
“No way, he works at the university, in the biology department.”
“Oh, I know some of them, what’s his name?”
“Neal.”
“Neal, what’s he do?”
“He’s a technician.”
“Is he, can’t say I know too many of them.”
“Apparently, he works with this woman–well she used to be a man–but he says she’s drop-dead gorgeous since she had a sex-change, so I don’t suppose she has had a sex-change, I mean, you can’t make a beautiful woman out of a man, can you? She’s been on the telly, too, she’s an expert on dormice and she’s always in trouble–she’s like a crime fighter.”
“So she’s beautiful, a crime fighter, on the telly, and had a sex change–she sounds pretty busy?”
“I’d love to meet her, I’d be able to tell in a moment if she’d been a bloke.”
“Well you’re cleverer than I am, I just accept people for who they want to be.”
“Yeah, I suppose I do too–we’ve got this boy in school, they say he wears girl’s clothes when he’s not in school. He gets bullied all the time.”
“Do you bully him?”
“No, me and a group of us girls, we sometimes let him hang out with us to keep him from being beat up. He’s alright I suppose. His name’s Steve, and we often call him Stephanie.”
“What’s he say to that?”
“He doesn’t seem to mind–he might even like it.”
“Have you asked him?”
“No.”
“It could be a good thing to do, and then if he doesn’t like it, perhaps you could stop teasing him.”
“Yeah, I might.”
“Is Neal working at the university, today?”
“I s’pose so. It’s his birthday, so my visit’s a surprise.”
“Perhaps you should let him know–what if he’s got something planned?”
“He won’t mind, nor will Glo–Gloria, they share a house, well they live together–she’s nice, although she seems to spend all her time looking after dormice.”
“For the crime fighting woman?”
“Yeah, I s’pose so.”
“Don’t you think you should call him, just in case?”
“Nah, I’ll do it from the city centre. He can get me on his way home.”
“I think you ought to call now.”
“Nah, I’ll do it later.”
“What if he’s away for his birthday?” I happened to know he was in Brussels with Gloria–she told me about it ages ago.
“He never goes away.”
“I’ve got a horrible feeling, someone told me Gloria was going away,” I dropped a hint like a brick.
“She wouldn’t go away on his birthday, she’d never do that.”
“She would if he went with her.”
“Oh crap,” she picked out her phone and discovered it had a nearly flat battery. “Oh crap and double crap–oops, sorry, um, Cathy.”
“It’s okay, here use mine, d’you know his number?”
“Oh, a Blackberry, nice.” She accepted my phone and dialled before I realised something.
“Cathy? No it’s Phoebe.” She put it on speaker.
“What are you calling from Cathy’s phone for?”
“Mine’s got a flat battery.”
“Yeah, but how do you know Cathy?”
“She’s giving me a lift to see you.”
“Where?”
“To, like, Portsmouth, stupid.”
“Who are you calling stupid? I’m not in Portsmouth, I’m in Brussels. So now who’s stupid?”
“Oh, crap, you’re not, are you? Like where am I gonna stay?”
“Let me speak to Cathy.”
“He wants to talk to you.”
“Tell him to hold on a second, I’ll pull over here.”
“Cathy, is that you?”
“Yes, Neal, hold on, I’m pulling over to a rest area.”
“You said you didn’t know him.”
“Short term memory loss, didn’t sleep too much last night–‘cos of her.” I indicated the sleeping infant.
“Aaah, isn’t she lovely?”
“Not at three in the morning.”
“Cathy, c’mon this call’s costin’ me a fortune,” Neal complained.
I took the phone. “It isn’t, Neal, I’m paying for it. Now what d’you want me to do with Phoebe?” who sat with her arms folded and pouted.
“Apart from strangling her?” he joked.
“She was trying to surprise you for your birthday.”
“She succeeded, too–stupid girl.”
“I could put her up, for the night.”
“Would you–that’d be brilliant, Cathy?”
“Yes, she can decide what she wants to do in the morning, as long as she doesn’t eat too much.”
“She does, she eats like a bloody horse.”
“I’ll see if I can find a spare nose bag.”
“Thanks, Cathy–can I speak to her again?”
“Of course, have a nice weekend, and don’t worry about her, she’ll be fine.”
I handed the phone back to Phoebe, who put it on speaker again.
“It’s me,” she said.
“You idiot for not letting me know, you behave yourself for Lady Cameron.”
“Who’s she?”
“The person whose phone you’re using.”
“Lady?”
“Yes, she’s married to a lord, he’s a nice bloke, called Simon.”
“Wow,” was all she said.
“So behave, Phoebs or I’ll tell Mum what a twit you are.”
“I’ll behave, have a nice birthday.”
Neal rang off and Phoebe handed me back the Blackberry.
“I take it you’re happy to slum it with me.”
“Ha ha, you’re Lady something or other, so where d’you live, a stately home, with a butler and loadsa servants?”
“Not quite, I live in an old farmhouse, which belongs to Professor Agnew.”
“That’s Neal’s prof–he said that woman, the beautiful one lived with his prof.”
“Oops, perhaps I’d better do some crime fighting–I know, I’ll arrest a dormouse, how about that?”
“I don’t like mice.”
“Dormice aren’t like housemice.”
“Aren’t they?”
“No, maybe I’ll show you one tomorrow.”
“If that’s your baby, you can’t have had a sex change–I’ll kill Neal when I see him.”
“Perhaps he meant someone else.”
“Yeah, mustadone, though you are quite beautiful.”
“Oh well, if I’m only quite beautiful, and your weirdo was drop-dead gorgeous, it must be someone else.”
We rejoined the motorway, and were home about twenty minutes later. As soon as I walked in I had an avalanche of children wash all over me. After dealing with that, I introduced Phoebe to the girls and to Danny as he walked through. His eyes were as big as saucers, and I think I recognised love or lust in them–she was quite a pretty girl.
I sent her up to shower and change while I shoved her clothes in the washing machine–they were quite damp. So, unfortunately, were her spare clothes, her grip wasn’t very waterproof. I loaned her some of Julie’s stuff as they were about the same size.
Jenny looked quite tired and I gave her the evening off, so she left minutes later.
“Who’s Phoebe?” Trish asked on behalf of the interrogation committee, “She’s not comin’ to live here, too, is she?”
“No, she came to see her brother, Neal, one of the university technicians, but he’s away, so she’s staying the night.”
“Oh, that’s okay then.”
“I’m glad to hear it.” Cheeky madam.
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Comments
Cathy is Clever
... but she is awful mean, too. She better be real nice to Phoebe. She could be hurt deeply.
Portia
Portia
What I "think" I learned about Brits?
I had a UK woman as a room mate for a couple months and learned that her take on things was quite different than mine. If she was typical at all, and she assured me that she was, then she would "wind me up" quite brutally at times. She actually had me crying a couple times and instead of letting up, she would just pour it on, saying to me, "Khadijah, grow up will you? I was only joking with you". She was quite opinionated, but gentle to the core if she became convinced of the need. I had always thought that people were pretty much the same, but if she is any indication, we are not at all. I grew to love and respect her very much.
Much Peace
Gwendolyn.
PS The reason for the name dispairity is that I am known as Gwen only on BCTS. Everywhere else is Khadijah.
Is this ...
... another candidate for the zoo? Now what? :)
Robi
Its the Hotel California
You can visit but you can never leave :)
Could this be ....
....Another addition to the clan Cathy.
Must say you keep things interesting.
Keep up the good work enjoying it all.
poppykin
ENjoyed Neil's description
of Cathy. Nothing prejudicial in it and didn't seem to be anything prejudicial in Phoebe. Liked Cathy's subtle tolerance counciling. Always delighted to see Trish acting as leader of the young ones. She's a treasure. Hmmmm... how long can this tale go on. Now I'm looking forward to seeing Trish grow up and join Cathy in her work, her crime fighting, and her wisdom.
kudos PLUS!
Angharad, in the light of the recent blog discussions regarding comments I realized it's been a while since I told you how much I enjoy this ongoing tale. I'm a regular and faithful reader, and you get kudos from me every episode, but it's past time I was a little more verbose. Thank you!
P.S. I don't like Simon very much. :)
Simon is OK, just a
Simon is OK, just a typical bloke and a bit nearsighted, but he is getting better. You have to recognize that guys are different from the other half of the species that have a complete brain!! After all, he did change offices to be closer to home and brood. Quite a concession for a success driven male of the species.
CaroL
CaroL
Me, Too!!
You said it very well, Misty! Thanks from me, too, Ang.
You, too, I suppose, Bonzi, but I'm a dog lover. And I haven't forgotten those threats you made last year, eh?
Yours from the Great White North,
Jenny Grier (Mrs.)
x
Yours from the Great White North,
Jenny Grier (Mrs.)
Entertaining and Builds for and Interesting Development
I believe we haven interesting chapters in the near future
as the result of the chance encounter. Perhaps some blue
light, romance or interesting character being added to the
scene. Good Chapter
Gawwd'n Bennet!
You'll pick up anybody won't you?
Where's this one goin'?
Still lovin' it.
Love an' hugs.
OXOXOX.
Bev.
Growin' old disgracefully.
Neal and Gloria...
That pair were supposed to be getting married at some point in time, using the most infamous hotel in Southsea for their reception. So when they eventually do tie the knot, Phoebe might be guesting again.
Others have speculated Phoebe might be the next addition to the clan. What about Stephanie? :)
Let's see... epileptic tree time! (For those not familiar with TV Tropes, an epileptic tree is very wild, random speculation that will almost certainly not happen)
Phoebe puts Stephanie in touch with Cathy, as her parents have to go away for a few days / week without their child in tow, then for whatever reason the parents either don't come back or take exception to Stephanie's preferred gender (yup, a hybrid of everyone else's story). The question is: could Cathy cope with an eighth child? Could Danny cope with becoming ever-more outnumbered? Could our esteemed author cope with another main character to add to the ever-expanding list?
Now remember this tale is written "on-the-fly", so Angharad herself will only know how things develop about half an hour before we do!
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
God I hope not
Cathy life tires me out just by me merely reading about it. Yet another? I think what would be interesting is to have Cathy develop a network of people like herself and then we could have group adventures between her and the other social crusaders. There is absolutely no way she should have another child.
Kim
Perhaps...
Phoebe's a link to providing a support network in Salisbury for TG children...
Just thought: Siân mentioned that she had a visit from a TG child and her mother... I wonder if that child was Stephanie?
It wouldn't surprise me if the M27/A36 almost become major characters in their own right... heck, the M27 could probably already be added as one of the story's main villains, given the number of accidents that have happened on it involving people connected to Cathy...
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
I love that little cheeky simian too!
Trish is going to become second in charge of this mad house sooner than we know.
There are no 'chance' encounters in this universe as Cathy is very attuned to the universe whether she knows it or not. Life is most definitely not dull with her around - understatement of the year.
Kim
Second in charge?
I thought she was already the de facto second in charge...
Livvie would probably equate to third, as many schemes have involved a collaboration between the two - including training both Julie and Billie in girlhood - as well as organising Billie's "coming out". Heck, just give the pair of them a basic grounding in economics and promise them a pizza for tea, and Gideon might face some credible opposition :)
I'm not sure where the rest of the clan would fall in the hierarchy... it would be soooo tempting to put Kiki above Simon :)
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
BIke pt 1144.
But does Neal know about Cathy's latest addition and her new ability? I think not.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
One more for the madhouse
Does Clan Cameron do a Borg on Phoebe or does she run out screaming the next morning?
I don't get plot ideas like this; I must buy the wrong breakfast cereal.
S.
Traveling Alone at Sixteen
Interesting that you can't drive at sixteen but can
travel the country hitch hiking. I wonder how old
you have to be to fly and airplane. Where is the
parent during all this traveling.
Neal's sister....
Neal's sister's a tad slow on the uptake, isn't she... Looking forward to her eventually adding everything up.
Interesting character though. Nice she's not too mean to the kid in her school.
Thanks,
Anne
Great wind-up
My SOED6 gives one of the many definitions of wind-up as:
Of course, we all know how much practice Cathy, Stella and Simon get at winding one another up, and it's obvious that Cathy is a master at it.
Thanks A+B, I thought it was a doozy of a wind-up that Cathy pulled on Phoebe, and the latter was too immature/young/trusting/naive/unworldly to see it happening. I thoroughly enjoyed this Bikesode, and it will be interesting to see how Phoebe responds once she has a chance to assimilate things.
In the previous episode, Siân said:
Given that Phoebe is about sixteen, I would have thought it unlikely that Steve/Stephanie and Siân's patient were the same person, but hey, this is Bike and stranger things have happened.
Peculiar Scenarios
Bike Resources
Bike Resources
Lot's of Fun in This One
Thanks so much.
Appreciate that Cathy
pulls over to talk on the phone. Don't remember is her car a manual transmission? What is the policy on phones in the UK. US is inconsistent - different in each state.
Phoning while driving
Transmission is irrelevant to the rules for driving using a mobile phone. Most cars in the UK are manual, its rare to find automatics.
Basically you are not allowed to operate a mobile phone while driving. The only time its permitted is if its totally hands free, i.e. you can't hold or dial the phone, it has to be voice operated only.
In the USA...
Only eight states (that I know of -- the situation is changing with fair rapidity) currently ban cellphone use by drivers without the use of a "hands-free" devise: (California, Connecticut, Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, and Washington), The Federal District of Columbia and the Virgin Islands Territory also prohibit cell phone use by drivers with roughly the same leniency for hands-free use.
Some jurisdictions are more strict with teenage or young drivers.
Interestingly, every source of driver distraction is roughly equal in terms of how many accidents occur per distraction, including talking to passengers, eating, drinking, smoking, adjusting the radio or changing tapes or CDs, putting on makeup, checking on the status of very young children, who by law must in most states be placed in the back seat -- for safety -- and require the driver to turn around and face backwards when their attention is required.
Yet no one suggests that we outlaw "drive-through windows" at takeaway shops, remove cup-holders and make it illegal for drivers to use especially-designed cups for coffee or tea, yank the radios and CD players, and prohibit passengers unless the driver is contained in a little box like a London Cabbie. Nor does any US jurisdiction prohibit police officers from operating radios, computers, radar devises, and any number of gadgets whilst driving.
It used to be that only the front passenger seat sun-visor had a vanity mirror on the back, since there was a time when only men drove cars, but now the driver has a vanity mirror as well, which is a great help whilst touching up one's mascara on the road in to work.
At least some of the intolerance exhibited by the authorities toward cellphones is that they're new, and so an accident caused by using a cellphone seems somehow worse than one caused through dropping one's cigarette in one's lap, turning one's head to talk to one's passenger, or spilling hot coffee down one's front.
The only serious accident I was ever directly involved in was caused by a man who drove straight though a red traffic signal while fumbling on the floor of his automobile trying to find the cassette tape he'd dropped whilst trying to change his musical mind. He ploughed straight through three cars, mine first.
I was glad enough that he had, because in so doing the force with which he struck the car on the other side of me was lessened, and my car as a Toyota Camry -- fairly sturdy, and I was wearing my safety harness -- but the woman driving the other car had seven children and two adults in hers, only a few of whom were secured. So my personal misfortune quite possibly saved a few lives.
The interesting thing was that -- at the time -- I didn't think I'd been hurt at all, and was astonished, and immediately crawled out to make sure the children in the car next to me were all in order, called the police from my radio (this was before cellphones were at all common) and generally bustled about doing triage and letting the police know what to expect, but then hours later discovered that I was extremely tender in various parts, and the next day discovered that I was badly bruised on all sides of my body, head, and extremities. As it was explained to me by my doctor, in an accident like that, one's body goes bouncing all about, too quickly for one's brain to grasp what's happening, so even though I was restrained, and had front and side air bags which exploded properly, my legs hit both the side door, the centre console, and each other, and the belts and bags each contributed their own trauma, so whilst none of my injuries were at all life-threatening, by the next day, I could barely move for the pain involved.
The moral, of course, is never never never put on mascara whilst driving; one could put one's eye out before you knew what was happening.
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
-
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
A linguist's take
Around fifty percent of communication is non-verbal. Speaking to someone without seeing them thus requires a lot more concentration. It has been shown that any sort of phone impairs driver awareness almost to the level that alcohol does. FWIW,I think it should all be banned, cup holders, smoking, the whole shebang. But in a world where they are now selling DVD players to plug into the car stereo space....
The real problem is that driving is no longer seen as operating a piece of heavy machinery amongst soft tissue, but as a sort of video game that stops at the windscreen.
Don't forget SatNavs
My BGF has a talking-everything car, but she still needs to aim the thing and press the pedals. I trust her driving but not necessarily that of other drivers.
I used to have a boss whose idea of fun in his old handraulic motor was to hurtle along at speeds in excess of 100 mph, a few yards from the car in front. I just closed my eyes when I had to travel with him.
With modern traffic levels and speeds, any distraction is an accident waiting to happen.
S.
Cellphones
As of Sept. 10, this year... MA. USA also requires Blue-tooth for cells. any other useage, texting, web, ect... will have your lic. yanked! for six months, and a fine... the time and fine increase for each new offence! The longest is ten years, before you can apply to get it back.
I'm firmly convinced
that the demise of turn signal use in the US is directly the result of drivers having a cell phone in one hand and using the other to steer thus being unable to use the signal stick to signal their turns. Seems like fewer than a third of the drivers in this part of the US signal turns or lane changes now. I've gotten to be a bit of an a$$ about it - will sometimes honk the horn at a driver in front of me who begins to slow down for a turn without any kind of signal (as long as I can see enough to know that there isn't someone in front of them).
cell phone in Oregon
Yes you are correct about our state, interestingly enuff, it's not being enforced very well, because when I'm out driving bout town, I see prob. see 3 out of 5 vehicles using a hand held while driving.
UMMM PLEASE PLEASE no banning cup holders. me needs my fluids. I dont go anywhere even in my own house, where I dont have something fluid in reach or very near by. (smiles)
Cue the strange music
and cut to the guy in the black suit.....you are entering...............etc. Cute. And leave it up to Trish of course.
Driving
I should also comment that I dont respond enough to this saga.
Again I avidly read it wondering where the next twist/turn will happen and to me, who has no imagination at all, it is a wonder where Angharad's mind is all day long.
Still quick comment on aeroplane license. My son had one of these before he could legally drive a car by himself.
Oh Oh .....
... lemme see! (a) Phoebe is an addition to the brood which bodes not well for Neal and Gloria, and/or Neal and Phoebe's parents (b) Phoebe is borrowing clothes, could we have a mistaken identity kidnapping being set up here? Or some other nefariousness involving mistaken identity? (c) Phoebe is the conduit whereby Stephanie gets dragged in (no pun intended) (d) Could also be the basis for a new recruit to the Dormice lovers group. Or she could prove to be a capable assistant when Cathy eventually gets off her arse and starts doing the next film. She probably needs to start actually earning some income fairly shortly. I just don't see her as being a one-hit wonder. (e) We haven't had the father-in-law for a while and some of the kids haven't seen the castle yet, so maybe something's going to happen that drives the entire brood north, and Phoebe gets included by default (f) There again, Ang might just have a different idea! ............ Thanks for all this Ang, I enjoyed being in your neck of the woods last weekend (for a birthday party), we stayed near Canary Wharf and had the b'day party in Chow's, the Chinese restaurant in Westerham in Kent, just outside the M25. And we did like a zillion miles on foot as we traipsed round London seeing the sights.
You are very funny, Angharad !
This episode is extremely funny.
I don't know whether when kids get their names they get pre-programmed into being what their names convey, or whether the parents sense what they are going to be like and name them instinctively for that, but I would expect such lack of forethought from someone called Phoebe.
Now I know I'm in for an avalanche of abuse from Phoebes from all over. "Hm, Hermione!" as a groom in a film remarked at the altar.
Briar
Briar
Family Planning!
Cathy! No more hitchhikers!
Oh, no! Now Tom will need a bigger washing machine. Och weel...
I'm still laughing. What a ride!
jmacaulay
jmacaulay
It's nice to be proven
wrong, Mind you i did wonder when Cathy stopped to pick up the hitchhiker, Just what might happen! Women with a baby in the car do not usually stop to pick someone whom they don't know....Thankfully in this case all's well that ends well.....But its not a course of action that Simon would have been too happy with, After what happened to them recently !
Kirri
Cathy has a soft spot for young girls
or youngsters of any kind. Couldn't let a 16 year old girl stand out in the rain. Dangerous - yes, predictable - also yes.
Great Episode
Hello,
The downside of saving up a weeks worth of bike and savouring seven episodes is that I do not get a chance to say how wonderful the story is more often.
Please mittfh don’t make the M27 a baddie, I drive on it most days and it’s really quite nice. Although I find myself shouting at the silly overhead signs, as they state ‘Queue in slip road’ I say ‘I don’t want to’ or ‘don’t drink and drive’ ‘you may spill it’ is my reply.
I think I need another lie down
Love to all
Anne G.
Drop-Dead gorgeous uh ?
Phoebe will want to die when she finds out just who Lady Cathy is
. Been there, got stuck trying to crawl under the carpet.
Keeping the story fresh, a new character.
Cefin