The Swan Chapter Eight Say a Prayer A Musical Interruption by Andrea Lena DiMaggio For Portia   He tried to reassure her even as he was trying desperately to forget the nightmare that filled him with his own private fear

 
Previously

The loud noise of the siren of the approaching ambulance did nothing to drown out Colleen’s sobs, but Jimmy hoped that it would be loud enough that Ben didn’t notice that Jimmy was sobbing too. He'd tried to be strong, but it was no use. He had taken every precaution for Colleen, but something bad happened anyway, despite his father's encouragement. What about his own life; his own secret? He tilted his head against Colleen’s and wept as he looked back and forth between Dina’s prostrate form and Ben Colavito, feeling closer to his friend Dina and hopelessly like a hypocrite and hoping that nothing like this would ever happen to him.

Early morning hours at the McKenna home

Jimmy lay on his bed, tossing and turning in a fitful sleep plagued by unrestful nightmares. At about three in the morning he finally fell into a deep sleep as a tune played in his head, as he seemed to be surrounded by family and friends……even his late mother Moira Agnes Kelleher McKenna?

Dina:

My dear James, it is with great honor and greater pleasure that we welcome you this night.
And now we invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair as we, your dreams and wishes proudly present …
Your gender!

Be a girl, be a girl
Now your psyche's in a whirl
Sit right back we'll do our magic
And your gender we'll unfurl

Be a girl
Be a girl
Be a girl

Annie:
Take a whirl
Turn around and take a twirl

Colleen and Maureen:

Be a girl be a girl be a girl

Years and years of sadness
Overwhelmed with guilty madness
Not a man and yet denied to be a girl
Every day feeling tired and discouraged
When you fine'ly realize
Life's one wonderful surprise

Annie:

Sacre Bleu, O Mon Dieu
There's none girlier than you
I confess that you're blessed
With a gender that is true!

Not a he but now a she
She's so precious goodness me
Now her cups are overflowing
Into womanhood she's growing
Excuse me, hon; Ahem?
Did you know that you're a femme?
Welcome to this bright and marvelous new world!

Mom and Dad

We're glad you're not a boy!

Mom:

We hope this brings you joy!
At last a girl!

Dad:

She's a girl!
Mom:

She's a girl!

Dad and Mom:
She's a girl!
What a girl! Such a girl! She's a girl!

Dina and Annie:

You're a girl, you're a girl!
Now your life is truely blessed
After years of sad oppressiveness
Your dreams have now come true
You're the girl you wished you'd be
At last finally you're free
It's a blessed transformation
You're a gem; our declaration!
Hour by hour day by day
Changed in each and every way
Can't believe that you'd be blessed with so much joy
No long just ambition
But finally transition
You're a girl!

You're a ....girl?

Archie:
You're a boy...still a boy...just a BOY!

“Noooooo!”

Jimmy sat up in bed. The sun was just coming through his window when he heard a knock at the door. He was glad that Archie still slept, not wanting his little brother to see his tear-stained face. He wiped his nose with his pajama sleeve and went to the door.

“Jim?” Colleen almost pled.

“Col? Col…it’s not even six yet…what’s wrong?”

“I…need to talk with you…I didn’t sleep all night…I had a nightmare.” She cried. He opened the door and noticed that her eyes were probably as red as his.

“Just a sec. He grabbed his moccasins and put them on before stepping into the hallway.

“Come on…Dad’s sleeping in today…I’ll make some coffee, kay?” He kissed his sister on the forehead and they walked downstairs.

“What’s up?” He poured her a cup of coffee and got the half-and-half out of the fridge for her. Grabbing his own mug he sat down at the table next to her and touched her arm softly.

“I had a nightmare,” she repeated as tears came to her eyes.

“Okay, sis…you’ve had nightmares before…we all have,” he said even as he remembered his own fitful sleep. “But I’ve never seen you cry. What’s.....are you okay?” He noticed that she stared at him, her face filled with concern.

“The nightmare…it was horrible…Jimmy…they killed her.” She began to weep softly even as the memory became new and real once again.

“Who, Col...Who did they kill?” He couldn’t remember a time when he saw his sister this sad and scared.

“Dina…they killed Dina.” She grabbed his arm and shuddered, as if fear had electrified her body.

“Col…it’s a dream...just a dream.” He tried to reassure her even as he was trying desperately to forget the nightmare that filled him with his own private fear.

“No…you don’t understand…it wasn’t just her….it wasn’t just her…they...killed….you!” She broke down and began to sob. Jimmy looked down the hall wondering if his father had heard the crying.

“What do you mean me...who killed me, hon? What are you talking about?” He shook his head.

“I don’t know who they are…but they killed Dina…she was lying in a field…cold and white. She looked sad and scared, Jimmy…like she was all…alone…I should have been there! I should have stopped it.”

“Honey...it’s only a dream…a nightmare…it didn’t happen, Col...It’s not real!”

“But it felt so cold…so sad…Dina was there…I saw her….and…” She began to sob again. Jimmy leaned closer and put his hand on her back, rubbing her neck and shoulders.

“Jim…what’s going on…I heard some crying.” Jimmy turned and saw his father standing in the doorway, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“Col had a nightmare…a bad one.” His look pled for help and Kellan nodded. He walked over and hugged his daughter.

“Daddy…it was horrible…they killed Dina…and Jimmy!” She wept and Kellan just hugged her and hummed a lullabye in her ear softly.

“Daddy…Mommy was there…so Dina had to be…and Jimmy, too…Mommy was sad and happy at the same time, Daddy. Why?” Kellan thought for a moment before speaking.

“I suppose she was sad if they got killed…and happy because they were in heaven? I don’t know, but it sounds like it scared you a lot, honey.” He sat down and squeezed her hand. Jimmy got up and poured Kellan a cup before sitting back down.

“Daddy…it was so scary…like it was real…and it was so strange.” Colleen wiped her face with her robe.

“Dina was lying in the field…I kissed her …like it was the last time…” She sniffled and Jimmy grabbed her other hand.

“But then…her face changed…she was still lying there, but her face changed…” She turned and looked at her brother and her expression turned almost to horror as the moment played out in her mind.

“Th..hhhh...then she wasn’t Dina any more. Mommy was standing with her arms around Dina…and I looked down….it was Jimmy…but….” She bit her lip, almost in embarrassment. Kellan squeezed her hand.

“It’s okay, honey...go on.” She took strength from his smile and continued.

“IIIHHH…It was a girl…Jimmy…but not Jimmy…like he wasn’t a boy any more!” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled, almost as an apology. Jimmy noticed his face growing warmer.

“But it’s a dream, Col…just a dream.” He tried not to be dismissive, and he certainly didn’t want to draw attention to himself, but he did.

“Why so nervous, Jim…you said it yourself…It’s only a dream, right?” Kellan smiled warmly at his son.

“Right…just a dream.” He would have continued but he felt a hand pat his back.

“Morning!” Maureen stood behind him and hugged her favorite sib. She walked around and kissed the top of Coleen’s head before kissing her father on the cheek. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table next to Kellan.

“What’s all the racket? Colleen? Were you crying last night?” She leaned closer and looked in her sister’s eyes.

“I…I had a nightmare.” Colleen stammered.

“Another nightmare?” Archie walked into the kitchen and poured himself the last of the coffee before pulling up a chair. “I had one, too. I dreamed that I was sleeping in on a Saturday morning and everyone woke me up.” He laughed at his clever joke until he saw his father’s glare. Shrugging his shoulders he offered,

“Sorry.”

“Your sister has had a very difficult night. She had a nightmare where she saw her girlfriend and her brother killed.”

“My sister!” Colleen insisted. Maureen cringed until Colleen grabbed Jimmy’s arm.

“What the fuck?” Archie said. Kellan nodded once and Maureen took her permission and slapped the back of Archie’s head.

“Sorry!!”

“What are you talking about?” Jimmy said nervously. His nightmare and her nightmare were coming close to converging, and his face grew even warmer.

“What she’s saying, Jimmy lad, is that she thinks the dream means something about you.” Kellan said this matter of factly, smiling at his son.

“Why would she have a dream like that, Daddy?” Maureen asked softly, followed by,

“Yeah, why the f…why would she have a dream like that?” Archie cringed waiting for the slap that never came.

“I suppose we should ask the girl…she’s sitting right here, after all, aye?” Kellan seemed to grow closer to his Irish roots when he was waxing lyrical. Over to the States at fifteen, his accent never waned even after 27 years.

“I think….I think….” She turned to Jimmy and shrugged apologetically once again and said,

“I think Jimmy wants…..” She barely had gotten it out when Archie blurted out.

“Jimmy wants to be a fucking girl!” A slap he didn’t expect hit him in the back of his head knocking his cap off.

“Sooorrrreeee!” He turned and shrugged at Jimmy who just stared at his father, who stared back, but with a warm smile on his face.

“And would someone tell me what would be so wrong about that?” Kellan looked around the table. Maureen smiled and nodded. Archie looked away while holding his cap on his head. Colleen looked at Jimmy as if to apologize for breaking a confidence she had never learned. And Jimmy sat and stared at his father, who nodded and smiled.

“Well there…that settles that. Now, Archie, would you mind getting some eggs and sausage out of the fridge? I feel like making some breakfast. Oh and mind you, you might all say a prayer for Dina and for your brother here. I have a feeling they're going to need all the help they can get."

Archie laughed loudly until his cap went flying. Maureen and Colleen both leaned close to Jimmy and smiled.

"It's okay!" Colleen said squeezing his hand while Maureen asked softly,

"What's her name?"

"MMM...Moira." Jimmy said as he began to weep.

Next: I am Anne Marie Mangano!!!!

based on Be Our Guest!
from the movie Beauty and the Beast
words and music by
Alan Menken and Howard Ashman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE6L7ID1kS4