The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike) Part 1034 by Angharad Copyright © 2010 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

“What did you decide?” Trish pressed her older bro–um–sister?

“I want to be a girl,” Billy said quietly, then repeated more loudly and confidently, “Yes, I want to be a girl.”

“Yay,” shouted Trish and nearly hugged him to death–um, hugged her? This was doing my head in, as they say in some circles.

I got them to belt up–their seat belts–what else? Then I drove home with them jabbering together in the back. I planned a quick lunch and then to tidy up a bit before Stephanie arrived.

“Are you going to wear one of your dresses to see Stephanie?” I asked Billy.

“Um–I dunno, what’ya think, Mummy?”

“That’s entirely up to you, darling.”

“What d’ya think, Trish?” he asked her.

“Oh yeah, I think you should.” Well she would, wouldn’t she?

“Don’t you interfere, now, Trish–this has to be Billy’s decision, not yours. I think we all know what you think.”

She sat back and huffed, her arms crossed angrily across her chest. We were heading for a clash as she was too young to understand how imperative it was for Billy to make his own decisions about this. I sometimes get the impression that she’d like everyone to be female.

“We’ll tell everyone over lunch that Billy may be wearing dresses on occasion–I don’t think anyone will have too many problems with it, but if they do, they have to be heard as well. You two understand?”

“Yes, Mummy,” came in unison from the back seat.

“We don’t know what Danny is going to think about this.”

“Why shouldn’t he like it, Mummy?” asked Trish.

“Because he’s going to be in an even smaller minority than before: that can be threatening to some people.”

“He’ll be okay,” voiced Billy.

“How d’you know?” I asked him.

“ ’Cos I told it ’im I might, an’ ’e thinks it’s okay.”

I wasn’t as convinced and until I’d heard it from the horse’s mouth, I’d remain healthily sceptical.

We got home and Simon and Tom were talking and looking at the garden, Leon was standing with them and the two younger girls were playing dolls on the lawn. They rushed up to see us, “Did ya get one?” squealed Livvie.

“Course she did,” answered Trish and they high fived, then Livvie and Billy did and I began to wonder if I was being controlled by a conspiracy. They all ran off squealing into the house with Billy and Trish carrying the clothing bags.

“What’s all that about?” asked Simon.

“I’m not entirely sure–but I might have been had.”

“Oh–in what way?”

“If I say those bags contain two cotton dresses and some shoes, and they’re too big to fit Trish or Livvie, I think you’ll understand my drift.”

“He’s done it then?” asked Danny.

“Done what?” I asked playing dumb.

“Joined your lot–he said he might.”

“Oh did he now? Come and have a little chat with me, Danny.” I walked him over to the bike shed and shut the door after us. “So when did he say this?”

“Oh ages ago.”

“How did he say it?”

“I think he said he was fed up with being a boy and wondered what being a girl would be like.”

“Go on...”

“Not much else to tell, they’re always calling him a sissy or a girly, so he’s taken their advice.”

“And what d’you think about it–I mean if he does start dressing like a girl?”

“So long as he don’t expect me to fancy ‘im, ’sokay with me–free country, innit?”

“You’re not worried by him changing sides, so to speak?”

“Nah, not at all, s’long as they don’t want me to become one as well–then I might get a bit cross, like.”

“Good man, I know it’s too early to get you some new football boots, we’ll wait until September for that, but how about some new trainers?”

“Oh yeah, Mum, that’d be fab. Could I have some new shorts, too?”

“I expect so, we’ll get some next weekend.”

“Kewl, can I ’ave Nikes.”

“Let’s see what’s available shall we?”

“Yeah great, thanks, Mum.” He gave me a kiss and a hug then ran off into the garden. I noticed he had changed his form of address to me to a more grown up form.

I struggled with the shopping back to the house only to be confronted with Billy in the white flowery dress, his hair in pig tails and it looked as if someone had been at my makeup–because I don’t remember buying him any mascara.

He did a twirl for me, and I nodded and said, “Yes, very pretty, young lady–are you going to show the others?”

“Um–d’you think I should?” He blushed very red.

“They’ll have to see you sooner or later, won’t they?”

“Will you come with me, Mummy?”

“C’mon then, because I have lunch to get.” I escorted him out to the others who were still talking and looking at the garden, as if it was an on-site planning meeting. “Excuse me, gents, this young lady is, our daughter, Billie.”

Leon’s eyebrows went up a fraction but that was all. “Pretty dress, is it new?” asked Simon as if breaking the ice.

“Yes, Daddy, I’m glad you like it.”

“Did you choose it?”

“Um–yes, with some help from Trish and Mummy.” I stood behind her and rolled my eyes.

“Gi yer Granpaw a wee hug then, lassie,” Tom held out his arms. She ran to him and he lifted her off the ground. “Did ye dae yer own makeup?” he asked her.

“No, Trish helped me.”

How did I know that was coming, “And Livvie did my hair. D’you like it?”

“Och ye look bonny, so ye dae.”

While they were all talking I got the rest of the shopping in. I was inches from the door when Julie appeared and she wasn’t trying to swallow Leon’s tongue–had they fallen out?

“Hello, sweetheart, grab the door for me, will you?”

She did and when I asked where she’d been, she’d been shaving her legs–then I noticed she was wearing very short shorts.

“Shouldn’t you be wearing tights with those?” I asked her.

“Too hot, Mummy.”

“I’m going to need some help with tidying round after lunch–Stephanie’s coming.”

“Who she gonna see this time–Trish, I s’pose?”

“No, your new sister, Billie.”

“Who–oh shit, he’s done it then?”

“Done what?”

“Decided to become a girl–attention seekin’ twit.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Nothin’, why?”

“Because this is important, what did you mean?”

She sighed and shrugged, “Well he’s jealous of us girls an’ he thinks it’s easier to be a girl. Typical bloody boy.”

“If that’s the case, he may not last the course.”

“I’m pretty sure he won’t.

“Stephanie is the expert.”

“You like, think so?”

“Yes, don’t you?”

She gave me a knowing smile and shrugged before walking out to join the others in the garden.

Trish came racing down the stairs–“I thought I asked you not to adversely affect him.”

“I didn’t affect him, Mummy–that was his genes.”

“Were they too tight?” I joked.

“No, Mummy, his genetic code–his genes.”

“Ah, his chromosomes.”

“At last,” she muttered and sighed, “yes, those ones–”she walked on out of the kitchen to see the others muttering, “Some bloody biologist––”