please read with caution

The first photo he took of me, I was so happy.

For the first time, I had told an adult about feeling like a girl rather than a boy.

And to my amazement, he believed me.

And then he encouraged me to see what I would look like as a girl.

Which lead to the first photo he took.

I felt free, and I had so much hope that the freedom would only continue.

But I was wrong.

He had not encouraged me for my sake.

He encouraged me so he could control me, own me.

and finally, to break me.

Then he took many more photos, but of me "performing" for his pleasure.

And then, after my time with him was over, somehow I forgot about the photos

But for a long time after, the flash of a camera scared me, and I didn't know why.

Until I recovered the memories of the photos, and understood.

and with understanding, I began working toward seeing myself as something other than guilty for what happened.

And I have succeeded . . .

Most of the time.

End