Sacrifice

How far would you go to protect the ones you love?

My dearest children:

I have a confession to make. Your mother and I have been keeping something from you for the last couple of years. Please believe me when I say that was not by choice.

You remember how it seemed to be. One day I came home in women’s clothes and told you I was transgender, that I was going to transition to live as the woman I felt myself to be.

You both were confused, and upset, but you showed true quality in deciding that you wanted me happy, even if that meant I was no longer the daddy you had known.

Time passed, and you watched me go through each stage of a transition, until I actually went through surgery.

You probably cant know how glad I was to see you with your mother beside my bed when I first woke up after the operation.

But like I said, we were keeping something from you all the way through my transition, and finally a change in circumstances has meant I can come clean.

Maybe I’m being a bit of a coward for telling you this way, rather than face to face, but I’ll be by not long after you receive this, and I hope you forgive me for lying to you both.

See, the truth is, I’m not transgender.

I never wanted to be a woman. Never wanted this transition.

It was forced upon me by a very evil man, and he used my love for you two as the leverage needed to compel me to do this.

He showed me the place you would be taken to if I didn’t comply - a horror where both of you would have been reduced to slavery and used for sex. Yes, both of you. Boy or girl it would have been the same fate.

So I surrendered, and transitioned as he demanded.

I think he intended to humiliate me by forcing me to live as a woman. But I had your mother, and I knew there was nothing less about being a woman. She was my role model for the woman I would make myself into, and I hope I have done her proud.

Then, a few days ago, my tormentor died suddenly, and i was free.

Now, I that I have freedom again, I have decisions to make, which is why I want to explain what really happened so we can take the next steps as a family.

Living as a trans woman has been an ... education, to say the least, but I am not certain of my path forward from here. See, certain ... products that were used to help me become a woman will make it almost impossible for me to transition back physically. At best, I will be able to wear male clothes and go by my male name again, but beyond that I am most likely stuck.

And while there was a time when the idea of being a woman for the rest of my life would have frightened me, I find it ... less awful a prospect than I thought it would. In fact, to be totally honest, I am ambivalent about going back at all.

But I owe you two and your mother a say in that decision.

Think about what you guys want, and I and your mother will be home soon.

And remember that just like you have been there for me through this transition, we will be there for each other, no matter what.

Family first, family forever, just like always.

Love, Dad.

End