Easy As Falling Off A Bike
by >^^< 'n her.
part:27 dozen

I settled down to write some more of the scripts for the filming, I found it so difficult to pitch it at the right level. I know one should always assume the audience knows nothing, but there is a tendency to move from background to patronising. I also didn't want something like National Geographic produce, which does a recap every two seconds in case the viewer forgot what they were looking at, I find it a total turn off. No, my stuff would tell the viewers something once, if they forgot or went out to put the kettle on, they'd miss something - serve 'em right.

To try and get a feel for how long each part of the commentary would last, I began timing myself as I read it. Why they couldn't have got St David Attenborough to do it, goodness knows, why me? I'm incoherent at the best of times.

I was walking up and down an empty lab, reading my narrative out loud and I paused to check my watch. There was a sound of a handclap from behind me. I spun around and there stood by one of the benches was 'Marlene'.

"Very good Cathy, are you branching into documentaries?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh Cathy, that is no way to greet an old friend."

"You are barely an acquaintance, how dare you call yourself my friend, lurking in the garden and then telling the police a load of lies. Why are you dressed as a woman?"

"Oh Cathy, you cut me to the quick. Why are you dressed as a woman?"

"Because I am one, stupid."

"So am I, deary, so am I."

"Why are you stalking me?"

"I'm just giving us a chance to be alone."

"I don't want to be alone with you, please leave."

"You don't have to pretend, Cathy, or would you prefer I called you Charlie?"

"I'd prefer you didn't talk to me at all and just left."

"But, darling, that is so untrue. Ever since I saw your clip on the BBC and how that Simon Cameron was holding you back, I knew we were made for each other."

"If you had any regard for me at all, you'd go away and leave me in peace."

"Oh no, darling, I'm not going to leave you alone at all." He moved towards the door cutting off my retreat. "You weren't thinking of leaving were you?" So saying he produced a large knife from a capacious shoulder bag.

"Please put that away."

"Why does it frighten you?"

"Yes, someone once tried to stab me, in this very room."

"Oh dear, and what happened to them? I assume they didn't succeed."

"They were shot dead by a police marksman." I recalled the detail in a horrible flashback, Tom had been stabbed and then bang. Except I didn't see it, I was drugged. This time I was wide awake but facing a potentially more dangerous threat.

"Well that isn't going to happen is it?"

"I hope not, but I also hope you are going to put the knife away. I have told you that I don't like it."

Pippa chose a very bad time to enter the lab, Hickman grabbed her and held the knife at her throat. She screamed and fainted. He dropped her. I was trying to think of someway that I could use something in the lab to overpower him, but there was nothing. The other problem was the danger to the dormice, this was one of the bigger breeding areas.

Hickman jammed a stool so the door couldn't be opened. Things were getting more dangerous by the second. I hoped that Pippa had only fainted, maybe she'd had a heart attack?

"Can I check my collegaue, see she hasn't been hurt in falling?"

"No, but you can come and kiss me."

"No way, not while you're holding that knife."

"Would you like me to put it down?"

"Yes."

"Come and kiss me then."

"No."

"Your friend could get hurt."

"Leave her alone, she has two small children. It's me you want, you come and get me and leave her alone." I wondered if I would get a chance to put together a couple of kick-boxing moves. In which case I needed space to move, and well away from Pippa.

"Oh, I shall come and get you, Charlie."

"My name is Catherine not Charlie. If yours is really Marlene, you'd put the knife down."

"Oh mine is Marlene, alright, but I think I'll keep hold of the knife. I can feel you sweating from here."

"So, I'm frightened, when I get scared I sweat. Girls do that, didn't you know?"

"Oh I know all about being a woman, Charlie."

"Do you, Marlene, perhaps you should enlighten me then." All the time we were moving around the lab. Hickman waving the knife in a very menacing way.

I had nearly got to Pippa who I could see was struggling to sit up, she had quite a bruise starting to form on her forehead and she looked very pale. She managed to get into a kneeling position and then vomited all over the floor, the smell nearly made me chuck up too. I quickly stepped away, at least she hadn't inhaled it.

Hickman must have heard it happen but didn't see it, so when he stepped around the bench following me, I made to move away quickly and he moved quickly to shadow me. However, he didn't see the goo on the floor and his high heel skidded and slipped. He went down with an awful clatter, and I think he may have bashed his head en route. I didn't however hear the knife fall to the ground.

He groaned, "Charlie, help me for God's sake."

I moved very carefully, I heard Pippa upchuck again. He was groaning and I wondered if it was a trap or had he really hurt himself.

"Help me," he groaned and it went very quiet except for Pippa groaning and being sick again.

I stepped carefully to the end of the bench and was ready to jump back and if necessary turn and back kick. It wasn't necessary, lying in a pool of vomit and blood was my would be stalker. His hand was underneath him and so presumably was the knife, the blood was seeping out from underneath, his head was also bleeding and the wig was lying on the floor a yard from his head.

I hit the fire alarm, and pulled Pippa to a safer distance, kicking the stool away from the door. Neal, one of the technicians came running in with a fire extinguisher. "Where's the fire?" he called.

I pointed at the floor and he stopped and swore, "Oh shit! What's going on?"

"Be careful, Neal, he had a knife."

"Okay. You alright mate?" He said to Hickman, who groaned in response."

Dan came dashing in, "Get an ambulance, Dan, we have a serious bleed here, possible stab wound. Get the police too." I shouted to him.

"What about fire service, they'll be on their way."

"Oops, I hope they'll forgive me but it was a way of summoning help. Neal, help Pippa out of here will you. I'll watch our little friend."

"Well, Marlene, I told you knives were dangerous, but now you have me to yourself."

He coughed and some blood came out of his mouth, not a good sign. "I wanted a kiss, that was all." His breathing was laboured, but I couldn't do much. Firstly, I didn't know where the knife was and secondly, if it was stuck in him, which it seemed to be, any movement would increase the bleeding. The smell of the vomit was nearly enough to have me showing my breakfast as well.

Sirens sounded in the distance, "Hang in there, Marlene, help is on its way."

"Too late....Char..." there was a sigh and a gasp and it went quiet. I walked carefully amidst the various body fluids and felt for a pulse in the carotid. There wasn't one. Do I try CPR, or would that make things worse? Would it be a waste of time? Blood from the mouth indicated either a chest or abdominal wound. If I move him, it would bleed more. Shit! Where was the ambulance?

A clatter of footsteps and in dashed a copper in a firearms unit outfit. I raised my hands and nodded at the floor, he saw the body and called through his microphone the area was safe.

A paramedic came in followed by another. They examined the body and discovered the knife had stabbed Hickman in the lung, entering at a steep angle. I was ushered out as they did their stuff to try and save him.

Tom rushed towards me and I threw my arms around his neck, "What on earth happened?"

"Hickman threatened me with a knife, he slipped and fell and landed on the knife. I think he's dead."

Some more police and paramedics arrived and went into the room, students were being evacuated as the fire alarm continued to sound. Finally, a fire officer switched it off. Then realising there was nothing else he could do, he left along with two other appliances.

I gave a garbled statement to the senior police officer, who told me they would need to speak to me again later. I nodded and Tom arranged for Pippa to be taken home and for someone to cover his office. When they asked why, he told them he was taking his daughter home. With that he grabbed my arm and led me to the car then drove me home.

I didn't cry, I suppose I was too shocked. He made me a cup of sweet tea and I refused to drink it. He gave me a shot of brandy and I drank it, against my better judgement. Then he bade me lie on the couch and covered me with a blanket. To my surprise, I yawned and fell asleep.

He was sitting opposite me when I woke up, he smiled and I smiled back. "Did it happen or was it a bad dream?" I asked him.

"It happened I'm afraid and you'll have to talk to the police about it."

"It was an accident, Pippa threw up and he slipped on it and fell on his knife."

"Why was he stalking you?"

"I'm not sure, I think he had some sort of fantasy about me. Did he make it?"

"I don't know, I'll call the department." He went off to his study and I sat up then discovered I needed to pee. By the time I'd finished he'd come back. He shook his head and looked very grave.

"I take it he didn't make it."

Tom nodded. "The publicity, 'transvestite stalker dies in biology lab,' is not going to be very nice, I'm afraid."

"Thank goodness, Stella wasn't involved," I said feeling one element of relief.

"Good God, that would have been disasterous."

"We'll just have to try and ride out the publicity," I said, just how were we going to be able to start filming next week? I had no idea. This was certainly proving an interesting life, as per the Chinese curse.