Easy As Falling Off A Bike
by Angharad
part:323

After waking followed by ablutions and breakfast, I phoned the local police. "Exactly, for what do you need me to attend the station?"

"We need a statement Miss Watts."

"I thought I'd made one to the officers who attended."

"Barely,"

"I don't think I could add to it."

"We'd be grateful if you could pop in and make a new one."

"All right, I'll call in."

"Thank you."

I dutifully turned up at the cop shop and was shown into an interview room. A couple of moments later a young woman detective constable showed up.

"Miss Watts?"

"Yes."

"I'm DC Stephanie Murdoch, thanks for coming, I wonder if you could answer a few questions for me."

"I'll try, can I ask what the purpose of this, is?"

"Yes, of course you can. The person we arrested in your garden was one Martin Hickman. He apparently claimed he knew you and that you'd asked him to look for something in the garden, then locked him out and called us."

"That is not true. I met him once before when he pretended to be a Marlene Hickman and came in dressed as a woman. He also claimed to want an interview with me about the mammal survey the university is spearheading. But what he wanted was personal stuff. Our secretary was present nearly all the time and was there when I threw him out for misrepresentation."

"Stalking is a strange activity, the perpetrator develops an obsession about someone, usually a celebrity but not always, and has a relationship with them in their head which they imagine to be real. They often think the victim is as obsessed with them as they are with the victim. Why do you think, Hickman was stalking you and why the fancy dress at the interview?"

"I don't honestly know why, unless he saw me on a tv programme I did for a Bristol station, or the clip on Youtube."

"You put a clip on Youtube?"

"No I did not, one of our technicians did of me juggling with a dormouse..."

"That goes down your jumper, I've seen that one, it's very funny."

"That depends upon one's viewpoint. From mine it wasn't, to have a dormouse pee in an expensive blouse is not at all funny. Little bugger did the same again yesterday."

Stephanie laughed and showed a set of almost pristine, white teeth. "Is it an occupational hazard?"

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself." I shrugged.

We chatted on a bit longer and it was obvious that what Hickman was saying was very different to my story. "He said you encouraged him to cross dress."

"I have only met him once and he was already cross dressed, and I have a witness, Pippa our secretary. As for the garden nonsense, I have another witness, Tom, my professor and landlord."

"We may need to speak to them."

"Have you charged Hickman with anything?"

"Not yet, he's been released on bail, pending further enquiries."

"But he was hiding in Tom's garden, I only saw him because I have an image intensifier."

"What would you need one of those for?"

"Seeing dormice at night."

"Oh!"

"Yes, they're largely crepuscular or nocturnal, so tracking them means we have to be able to see them."

"I see," she smiled.

"You would with an image intensifier."

After a little while, another copper, a young uniformed officer took a statement, then went off and typed it, and I signed it when she brought it back. "You know that Hickman has a history of mental illness?"

"No we guessed at it. Thankls for coming in, we'll notify you of any outcome."

I thanked them and left. Surely no one believed his cock and bull story? I sincerely hoped not. Struck me as unfortunate, that if you tell the truth no one believes you, tell the most enormous whoppers and everyone does. So much for shaming the devil!

I drove on to work and Tom looked at his watch, "Afternoon shift?"

"I have just got away from the police station."

"Pippa, call the police tell them we have their fugitive here," said Tom with a twinkle in his eye.

"Shall I ask them to count the inmates of the asylum, in case one is missing?" she replied.

"Gee thanks you lot, I'm surprised I haven't got a complex working with you two."

"Nah, you're too simple to have a complex."

"Thank you Dr Fraud," I answered back, "besides, I'm too Jung!"

"Oh very good, excellent in fact, for an escaped loony." Somedays I could happily murder my boss!