---

---

---

---

A Sequel to You Are You
http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/51302/you-are-you

---

---

And in the end the words won't matter
'Cause in the end nothing stays the same
And in the end dreams just scatter and fall like rain

---

---

Previously, at Zebb’s Grill, Orchard Park, New York….

“We had to do something, Chris.” She spoke his name; not as an endearment but in appeal to who he was inside. The man she married. The man she thought she knew.

“And?” The word was softer; accompanied by a par on her husband’s wrist.
Chris shook his head once again and just looked away.

“He….he’s not my son….” Chris spoke the words in a monotone once again, leaving Gina worried and confused until she saw the tears in her husband’s eyes. Sadness mixed with his own confused shame over his behavior. He smiled weakly; not in protest but in that surrender of the good to embrace the best.

“I’m so sorry. I was so fucking wrong.” He sighed. Chelsea returned with two more ales and a basket of dinner rolls. Gina winced at her husband’s words and turned; shrugging in apology. The girl smiled.

“I’ll be over there,” she said, pointing in the direction of the kitchen.

“I’ll bring your entrée’s in a bit, okay?” She walked off, leaving them to an uncomfortable silence.

“You ….” Gina began to speak, but halted in fear that this was just like every other apology Chris had ever uttered.

“I was over there…. The kids I was with were barely older than the twins. A kid…. Eighteen if he was a day…. Got his arm blown off…I lost it…I held him while he just…?”

Chris shuddered; too much in the moment for his own sake but right where he needed to be, so to speak, for the sake of his family.

“All I could think of…. This is so crazy. He had three days to go and….”

Chris looked away and gasped; the expression on his face was sadness mixed with wonder.

“The kid looked just like Chr…Hailey… Like one of them.” Gina’s eyes widened; first angry but then in surprised relief.

“At first it was like if I didn’t know any better I would have sworn… “ He paused; looking at Hailey’s image on the photo in the table.

“I found out that the kid was…. Going to…transition? Is that what they call it?” I felt so foolish and ashamed. Trying to make sense of it and…him…of …of her? And there I am standing in the midst of fucking chaos trying to help out when I can’t even help my own children…. I am such a fucking failure, Gina. You’re doing all the heavy lifting and I’m over there…. So I asked and they gave me this,” he pointed to himself.

“I can’t make up for what I gave away, Gee…. But life’s too short to keep giving away what I’ve been blessed… who I’ve been blessed with….” His voice trailed off but his soft sobs were enough to the girl to place their food on the table without a word. She touched Gina on the shoulder gently before retreating once again.

Gina glanced at the ale before taking a long swig from her water. She patted Chris on the wrist and spoke.

“What…what are you saying?” She hoped she knew already, but also feared her husband would revoke the promise his words seem to hold. He looked up; red-eyed already as tears fell off his chin. He smiled; weak not from the moment but from finally giving into the father he had always been intended to be.

“She…..she’s my daughter.” He shook his head and lowered his gaze; sobbing unashamedly. Gina kissed her index finger and touched his lips.

“I love you so much.”

I wasted, wasted love for you
Trading out for something new
Well, it's hard to change the way you lose
If you think you've never won
'Cause all we are we are
All we are we are
And every day is a start of something beautiful

At the Edwards home, a short while later…

“How is Hailey?” Mefus asked as she handed Cristyn a mug of cocoa.

“Gary is sitting with her. I think knowing that he’s there for her helps. You know?”

“Like maybe there’s hope for their Dad?” Danny asked as he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

“What about tomorrow, Aunt Mefus,” Dylan asked nervously.

“I think this is the best way to go.” Mefus nodded absent-mindedly at her own words. Dylan sighed.

“I’m so scared.” The girl stifled a sob.

“I know, sweetie. But …and it’s easy for me to say…. But as long as I’ve known your mom and dad they’ve always wanted the best for you and your brothers.”

“It’s what they think is best that’s the problem, Mom.” Cristyn said. Danny shook his head in sad agreement.

“My brother has fashioned a lifetime out of ‘he meant well,’ and it’s a real…. But he’s a good man. And your mom….”

“Gwen needs to just speak for Dylan for a change.” Mefus insisted.

“Well, now’s the time, hon. From your mouth to God’s ears.”

“It’s Andy’s ears that worry me,” Mefus said. She winced as she looked over at her niece. Dylan smiled and nodded; evoking a sigh of relief from Danny.

Meanwhile, in Cristyn’s bedroom….

“I’m scared.” The words echoed Dylan’s but they were uttered by Gary and not Hailey. She had calmed down enough to recall her mother’s support and her promise to encourage the new relationship the whole family was beginning to experience with the new older sister. Something inside seemed to prompt her to echo that encouragement.

“You’re not afraid of what your friends will say, right?” Hailey stared at her brother. He shook his head only slightly.

RIGHT?

“I’m….it’s not them…it’s….”

“You need to say something…. For me…for her…. And for yourself.”

“What if…..”

“I’m seeing Daddy for the first time and I’m so scared, Gar…. But I’ll die if I don’t ….this is who I am, Gar…. You know that. So you know …. You have to say something.”

For the first time in a long while Hailey felt like the stronger twin, but really they shared strength to strength all the time. By now she had composed herself, and her tears were not about her…not for her. And Gary was about as big a mess as any boy his age who is scared and confused and in no man’s land. He bit his lip; trying not to cry was something he usually did well but, as Aragorn might say, ‘it was not that day.’

“I’m hungry. I didn’t really eat much and I need to.” Hailey didn’t wait for a response and she didn’t add the last thing she was thinking as she left; though it was a struggle not to say it out loud.

I’ll say you want to talk…

Meanwhile, at the restaurant….

“So what do we do now, Chris?”

“I guess we just keep doing what you’ve already been doing. I can only hope she can forgive me…. That they all forgive me…. “ he looked away and repeated.

“That she can forgive me.”

“They wouldn’t miss you if they didn’t love you, Chris. They will and she will, okay?”

“Oh….okay.” He took a swig of water and ignored the barely touched bottle of ale.

“Let’s go home.’ Gina said, handing Chris the keys.

Back at the Edwards’ home…

Danny glanced back and forth between Dylan and Cristyn; had they always looked so much alike? He smiled and took a deep breath; all the while hoping that his brother and sister-in-law would accept the invitation to the most intriguing family dinner they might ever attend. He tapped the pre-set on the phone.

“Andy? Yeah….About tomorrow? Why don’t you come for dinner?“ Danny put his hand over the phone and nodded to Dylan.

“Righr …yeah….Mefus just picked up a roast…yeah…. Hugh and Davy, too? Three is perfect. Dinner at four. Yeah…okay….love you, too” He smiled at Dylan and shook his head as he placed the receiver on the cradle. As he walked over to his niece, he recalled a line from a favorite movie and laughed.

“What’s so funny, oh light of my life?” Mefus asked.

“Just a line from Princess Bride? ‘I’ll take a miracle?’” Mefus laughed softly and Dylan swallowed hard before saying at last, “Have fun stormin’ the transgender castle,” which, while nervous still gave everyone a much-needed laugh.

“Dylan?” She turned to see Hailey standing behind her.

“Gary has something he needs to tell you… you guys were all a big help to me just now and I think he needs to tell you something too?” As she spoke, Cristyn arched her left eyebrow in both recognition and on behalf of her own conspiracy. Dylan took a few steps down the hall before hesitating. She turned without word; her expression and posture instead asking ‘Are you sure?’

“Go ahead, Cuz.” Cristyn said. As Dylan continued down the hall, Cristyn walked to Hailey and grabbed her hand before waving to Danny.

“Mom? Dad? Hailey and I have something we need to tell you.” A look of fear crossed Hailey’s face. Danny and Mefus looked at each other and then to their daughter and their daughter’s best friend. Danny nodded at Cristyn and smiled kindly as only a father can. And true to form, Hailey burst into tears and ran; but this time happily into the arms of her girlfriend’s parents…

A short while later…

“Uh…. Ga….Gary?” Dylan stood nervously in the doorway of her cousin’s bedroom. She shook at the sight of the boy sitting on the bed. Her tremors were almost imperceptible, though, and the glow of the hallway light behind her seemed to give her an angelic appearance… A picture which did nothing to diminish the anxious look on the boy’s face.

“Oh….hi,” he said almost nonchalantly despite the hornets crashing hard inside his stomach. He looked at the girl and noticed she was wearing lip gloss; pink and shiny and altogether unexpected and provocative; at least to him. To be truthful on her behalf, it was just a bit of balm to deal with very dry lips borne out of nervous chewing. She was overwhelmed already by the fear of showing herself finally to her parents and brothers. But it was exponentially compounded by the first (and last) crush she would ever have.

“Your sis says you wanted to….to tell me?” Her voice broke as he stood up. He turned away; almost looking at the wall behind him for a secret passageway of escape. A boy shouldn’t like boys…. Right? Had he more time alone he would certainly conclude that wasn’t true; his mom and dad raised him better than that at the very least. But he didn’t have any more time alone to think about the girl in the doorway. He went to speak but all he could do was stammer,

“Uh…uh….”

“It’s okay. I can…. I’ll just…..” She went to back away but her feet got tangled and she fell down; banging her head hard on the door jamb. She looked at him and began to cry. And Gary did what any boy who is confused with a newly sorted-out attraction to one girl in particular would do. He ran to her and offered his hand; smiling nervously. She shook her head no even as she accepted his offer; rising a bit unsteadily to her feet.

Down the hall, Danny had heard the soft thunk of Dylan’s head against the hallway carpet and went to respond but his wife grabbed his arm.

“I think he’s got it covered,” Mefus said; pointing to the two down the hall. He nodded and smiled.

“You…you okay?” Gary asked nervously. Dylan looked at him and did what any girl with a crush would do in that circumstance. She cried harder, but instead of pulling away she leaned on his shoulder. If they had been just a wee bit older, the moment would have not only demanded but strongly pushed them into a kiss.

But a hug by a boy who sees you as who you are and who is also nice enough to rub your back and say kind things that only girls might appreciate? She was just fine even as she sobbed in his arms. And her aunt looked upward and breathed out a thank you before turning attention back to the drama unfolding in front of her….

At the Venturini home around nine-ish….

Mom? Daddy……” Bonnie walked in the front door; almost gleeful in anticipation. Two figures lay asleep on the couch. As much as she wanted to her father for a welcome home hug, the scene was just too precious to disturb. She turned and went to walk down the hall, but Gina had already nudged Chris awake, and the two quickly ran to Bonnie.

“Hi….” Was all Chris could get out before he pulled her into a hug; crying like the prodigal he had become.

“I love, you Daddy…It…it’s okay.” The child became a parent for the moment as she and her mother held Chris close. Too many lifetimes ago with too many departures and too much pain and horror for even one hundred men to bear; accompanied by guilt and shame wrought by his own choices and pride.

“It’s okay, honey…let it go.” Gina said softly as she and Bonnie led him into the kitchen. Bonnie put on the kettle as Gina eased Chris into a kitchen chair at the table. He looked over at his youngest before resting his head on Gina’s arm as he sobbed hard enough to shake the table. It wasn’t nearly the welcome Gina had planned for her husband, but it was exactly what he needed. She stood up and draped her body over his, weeping tears of joy and relief that seemed to comfort him.

And Bonnie also wept, but softly; relieved for herself and her mother and her brother. But anxious and sad for what might play out when her father finally met her sister for the first time.

Meanwhile, at the Edwards home….

Cristyn stood just a wee bit to the side and back of Hailey; an almost imperceptible tremor in her hands likely from the worry over her mother’s ‘now what?’ look. Danny waved to gain his wife’s attention; her eyes darting back and forth between her daughter and Hailey. She turned and spoke.

“Oh…sorry…. No prob, honey,’ she said as she waved back to her husband.

“Mom….Momm…meee?” Cristyn shook more; evoking a hug from Hailey, who in turn shook her head in question as she stared at her best friend’s parents. Danny stepped over and grabbed his wife’s hands while shooting a welcoming smile to both girls.

“Now there’s a surprise,” Danny said. Mefus looked at him and tried to glare but soon began to giggle.

“Now there, oh husband of mine. Plain it’s always been mewn cariad. I think I would have really been surprised if they didn’t have the same love they had when we didn’t know Hailey was… Hailey?” She giggled a bit before motioning the girls closer.

“Children…. fynd ag ef yn araf.” Hailey’s eyes widened in worry until Danny noticed and spoke.

“Not ‘no,’ sweet girl. Take it slow.”

“Take....it...slow?” Both girls spoke in unison. Danny and Mefus nodded; also in unison, and accompanied by two equally blessing smiles.

“Oh, Mommy.....” Cristyn gasped.

“Honey? We trusted you when you were....when you were Christopher. Why would we not trust.. Why would we not love you now?" Danny stepped closer and pulled his daughter’s girlfriend into a hug.

‘Now for a way to explain this all.....” Mefus nterjected; her motherly tears intersersed with continued relieved laughter. Danny looked heavenward and sighed a silent prayer....

“Are you ...are you okay? I’m sorry....” Gary sat on the bed across from Dylan, who was sitting in the desk chair by the door; her head resting against the wall. She looked at him and down at herself as if she owed him an explanation.

“I’m sorry.” She echoed.

“Why.... you were surprised. And I haven’t exactly been nice to you. I don’t blame you....it’s my fault.’

“No.... I .... I don’t want to be like this all the time,” Dylan said. She looked down at herself again in a needless reproach.

“I’m sorry you feel....like that all the time....” Gary stammered. Looked away even as he added in correction,

“You don’t feel like anyone will..... like how I treated Hailey at first and even you at the camp when we met. That no one would accept you? That... oh fuck,” he continued.

“I just want....” she started but stopped in mid-sentence with a gasp.

“I .... accept who you are, Dylan and.... I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.... since it .... since I hurt you. I.... oh fuck,” he repeated. She winced; not at the words, but at the never-hoped-for sentiment. She put her head down only to feel an unfamiliar touch on her cheek. More brother to sister at that point, but leaving room for both to look forward to the possibilty of more. She raised her head to find him smiling. He leaned closer and gave her a Galadriel-like kiss on the forehead. And she did exactly what she did only minutes before; falling into his arms in now relieved tears....

I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you and all along,
You were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything
That I need just to make it, but I can see that...
Lord knows I failed you time and again,
But you and me are alright

To be continued....

All We Are - Reprise
words and music by
Marshall Altman and the performer,
Matt Nathanson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRwjdJVyHkA

All We Are- Reprise
words and music by
Tim Myers and Ryan Redder
Performed by
One Republic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F6GZEHyvzSE