Easy As Falling For A Quack
by Angharad
part:370

Stella came back about half an hour later, she was so smug, I was tempted to annoy her. I resisted the temptation.

"You still awake?" she said returning to my cubicle.

"Looks like," my words part echoing through the vents in the steamed-up oxygen mask. "You look full of yourself, so I assume he asked you out."

"Yes, and there is no need to be such a wet blanket about it."

"Sorry, but even with Simon's ingenuity and my classic good looks, there is nowhere I can think of that would allow us to turn up in a hospital bed, except an operating theatre or mortuary."

"Quite." She looked as if she was remembering her own close call with ending up in the latter.

"When's the date?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"What date?"

"With Dr Kildare."

"It's Kelly, Dr Kelly."

"I was close. So is he from the Isle of Man, if so does he know Mark Cavendish?"

"He's vaguely Irish, or his uncle is and presumably so is his mother."

"That's no good, how am I supposed to meet Mark Cavendish?"

"Why don't you write to him? You never know, the next time he's cycling around the hospital car park, he might pop in."

"Nah, he'll be off doing the Giro D'Italia and then the TdF."

"In which case you'll have to wait until you're well and then you can go and watch him race somewhere, I'm sure my darling brother would take you."

"I wonder if they'll let me home soon?"

"I think they usually move you to high dependency and then a normal ward before discharging you."

"Couldn't they just dump me into a wheelchair and push me home, hey, Sis, couldn't you do that?"

"No I couldn't, besides I can be here when Padraig comes to see you."

"Who's he?"

"My new friend and your doctor."

"Oh, the dishy doc?"

"Yes, he is rather dishy, isn't he?"

"If you like that sort of thing."

"What sort of thing?"

"He's round-shouldered."

"He rides a bike, what d'you expect?"

"Oh well, he's probably all right then."

"He races for a Gosport club."

"Can't be all bad then, can he? Even Arrogant Armstrong raises money for cancer charities."

"Why don't you like Armstrong?"

"I think six TdFs in succession, is a bit above what I'd expect from Superman."

"He was never caught doping was he?"

"No, he was never caught."

"Are you implying he did?"

"I'm not implying anything, Stella, he was never caught doping, let's leave it at that."

"Padraig wouldn't dope anyhow."

"How do you know that you only met him an hour ago?"

"I can tell, female intuition and all that."

I shook my head at her. It wasn't a good idea, it sent up my blood pressure and that set off some sort of alarm on a machine. Kirsty came running in.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"Nothing, we were talking about Lance Armstrong."

"Who's he, a rock star or an actor?"

"He's a cyclist."

"So what are you talking about him for, can't he afford a car?"

"He probably has several, he's a millionaire."

"So, perhaps he's an environmentalist."

"I don't know, but he's from Texas."

"Oh, so how do you know him?"

"I don't personally, neither does Stella. The closest I've been to him, is probably a few hundred yards away at the start of the TdF in London last year."

"TdF? What's that?"

"The Tour de France," said Stella concerned that this nurse knew less about cycling than she did.

"Oh that stupid bike race, can't be arsed with that, gi'mme a football match any day."

"What where the levels of skill are so minimal, several premiership players have knuckles that drag on the ground when they walk. That football?"

"We have a premiership club here, so watch it!"

"It's their players I was referring to." This was a lie, but I was beginning to enjoy sparking people off, seeing as I couldn't stay awake enough to read or watch telly."

"What, you live here and don't watch football? How could you?"

"Easily. If you hadn't noticed, we have HMS Victory here too, but I'm not in the Royal Navy."

"So you like cycling?"

"Yes," Stella and I harmonised.

"You need to speak with Padraig, he likes bikes. Oh, but you did, didn't you." She smirked and left.

"I'm beginning to remember why I don't like nurses."

"Stella, you are a nurse, so stop talking nonsense."

"I used to be a nurse, not any more."

"I hope you still have your registration up to date."

"Why?"

"Because in six months you'll regret this and want to go back to curing people, and so forth."

"I don't think so." She shook her head as if to clear it.

"You need some sleep girl," I said loudly, she almost jumped out of her skin.

"Yeah, maybe you're right, I do need some sleep."

"Yeah, so do I, so clear off."

She hugged and we kissed sort of, it wasn't so much an air kiss, as an oxygen fly past. I knew I was tired and just a few moments after she left, I zonked for two whole hours.