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Previously...

She…she was…. Oh…Ms. Andrucci…I’m so sorry.” The girl’s eyes filled with tears as she took the picture from Donna’s hands; almost reverently as she stared at the girl’s picture. It was true that Maria did closely resemble Donna, but the photo brought home the reality that in so many ways Kim resembled Maria Andrucci as well. Donna half-smiled; an odd sense of relief that came from understanding that Kim knew she wasn’t alone in her struggle to be herself.

A short while later…

Kim sat in a chair across the desk from Donna; her arms in a self-hug with head down. Cara leaned closer and put her hand on Kim’s arm.

“It’s not your fault, baby.” Kim turned toward her mother and sighed.

“I know, Mom. It …I don’t understand why they don’t like me.”

“I think it’s because they don’t understand you, honey. I wish I knew why they were so angry.” Cara paused and Donna waited until they both looked to her; likely for the answers she could not provide.

“The boys live with their father?”

“Yes. We share custody and they visit our place,” she paused and pointed to herself and Kim.

“Not as much as they used to. I don’t push the issue since it’s been hard enough for all of the kids since the separation.

“Kim…Kim doesn’t visit their place much at all. They were okay at first, but lately they’ve been so….” Cara bit her lip and sighed.

“We’ve seen firsthand some of that, but the past few weeks it seems to have escalated. That has been very hard for Kim, but I’m at least glad to report that Kim has several close friends who support her.” Donna paused and looked out the window, recalling the scene only a short while before.

“Most of the kids, in fact, have been pretty good about it. Oh, we have some boys and even a couple of girls who feed into your sons’ bullying, but between some of our folks here and Kim’s friends, it doesn’t get out of control.” Cara frowned.

“I know, but it’s still getting to be impossible. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Kim out of school. Maybe transfer to Kempsville. I’ve even thought about home-schooling her. It just doesn’t seem fair….” Cara turned to Kim and pled.

“I’m sorry, honey. But I don’t know what to do.” Kim shook her head.

“It’s not your fault, Mom.” Her nostrils flared and tears welled up as she continued.

“It’s mine. I…. You ….” The girl leaned into her mother and began to sob. Donna sighed, wondering just what could be done to salvage the family. Kim needed to be herself, and her father and brothers sought to change that; involving as many people as they could who would be glad to join in their ignorance.

“Ms. Brunetti? I don’t know that the answer is, but it doesn’t lie in Kim being anyone but who she is. We just have to figure out how to help your sons understand that.” She would have added the need to convince their father as well, but any change of his point of view would come from someone else; a completely unexpected and, oddly enough, welcome source.

---

Avondale Apartments, Pete Brunetti’s home, that evening…

The boy sat on the couch; arms folded and head down. His brother mirrored his pose but for the baseball cap pulled down over his eyes. The two were elbowing each other when Peter slammed the book in his hand down on the pass through counter.

“What the hell were you two thinking?” He walked into the living room and stood in front of his sons, his arms folded in near mimic of the boys, but with a frustrated glare at the two.

“He started it,’ Joey said, pointing to Jason, who had yet to peek out from beneath his cap. He just shrugged his shoulders, which evoked a loud sigh from Peter.

“You have to pick and choose your battles, guys, and picking on your brother at school is the wrong place.

“I don’t get it,” Jason said, still hiding his eyes from view.

“Mom says Petey’s not a boy anymore.”

“Dammit Jason, how many times do we have to go over this. Your mom is trying to mess with your brother. Dressing him in girls’ clothes and sending him to school like that….It’s just not right. Not natural.” Jason raised his head slightly but his face was still hidden. Joey turned his face to the side and bit his lip. Lectures were never a good time to say anything, but Jason persisted.

“But Petey says it’s his idea. That Mommy didn’t really want him to do that but he ….”

“I don’t care what Petey said…he’s confused. WE just have to figure out a way to help him out.

“He said to call him Kim or Kimmy…. I don’t know why you’re so angry, Dad.”

“That’s enough,” Pete snapped. Jason stood up slowly and walked past Pete and down the hall. Only after he had entered his room did he remove the baseball cap, revealing a face still dirty from the confrontation with his sibling and the tears that left streaks in the dust on his cheeks. He walked into the bathroom and washed his face off, staring into the mirror over the sink.

“Fuck you!” He said in anger before shaking his head. As angry as he was at his father, he was even angrier at himself for the fracture that continued to grow and deepen between him and his brother. He didn’t understand what was what, but he knew he missed Petey, even if he wanted to be called a girl’s name. But what he really didn’t understand is why his father was so angry at Petey and at their Mom. Joey and he might have acted like they didn’t care, but it hurt being away from the two. Somehow things had to be better that what they were. Was every father angry at every mother? He stared at the mirror again.

“Fuck you!” He punctuated the words by grabbing the ceramic toothbrush holder and throwing it against the shower wall, shattering it.

---

A few days later

“Hey, Kimmy!” The boy stood in Kim’s way as she went to get off the bus. She put her head down and tried to push past the boy, but he stood his ground.

“You’re sick. Just fucking sick.” Benny Perez was at least consistent. He had been one of the boys in Kim’s class that fell in lockstep behind her brothers in the teasing. Some would insist he wasn’t a bully, because he hadn’t pushed or shoved her like Jason or Joey, but the words were just as intimidating and perhaps even crueler since Benny had been Petey’s best friend before Petey ‘became’ Kim over the summer.

“I’m sorry.” She kept her head down and went to push past Benny once again. He relented and she lifted her head to face him as she stepped around him. He shook his head and frowned. He might as well have said the worst insults she could have imagined. Anything would have been better than that frown, since it dismissed her. She walked down the aisle and down the steps off the school bus. And Benny was still standing, shaking his head. As much as the girl felt betrayed, Benny felt betrayed as well, since from where he stood, it was Petey Brunetti who destroyed their friendship.

---

Pete’s townhome, later that week….

“Dad? Uncle Paul called. He said something about news? He wouldn’t say what it was, but he sounded okay. He wanted to know if we can come over to his place for dinner on Sunday?” Joey said as he grabbed a Riptide Rush Gatorade out of the fridge.

“He wouldn’t say what it was? That’s your Uncle Paul. I guess we’ll just have to find out, huh?”

“But it’s Mom’s weekend,” Jason chimed in.”

“I know it is, Jason. You don’t have to remind me,” Pete snapped. He thought better of his response and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Jay… it’s not your fault your mother is so stubborn. Maybe she’ll let you come over just for Saturday.” His tone was apologetic, but his look indicated otherwise. Jason turned away and bit his lip. The constant putdowns were eating at him. He fed into his father’s resentment by continuing to tease Kim every chance he got, and he still hated himself for it. Shaking his head once, he turned and faced Pete and spoke.

“Why do you have to put Mommy down all the time?” It was as polite a plea as he could manage, but it did nothing to quell Pete’s mood.

“Come on, Jason. Dammit! She’s pulling us apart, and you know it.” Jason didn’t know what to think or whom to believe or whom to favor; the worst part of it was having to choose. He put his head down without reply. Joey walked into the living room and stood next to Pete; almost aligning himself with his father. But he shrugged his shoulders a bit as if to say ‘what else can I do?’

---

Cara’s house….that same night…

“How was school,” Cara said almost absent-mindedly as she spooned out some Mac and cheese onto Kim’s plate. She almost didn’t want to know; not because she didn’t care, but because she cared a great deal, and it was painful to hear about how poorly her daughter was being treated.

“It…it was better.” Kim took a sip of milk and picked up her fork. After a few moments of pushing her food around she placed it on the table and sighed.

“What’s wrong, honey?” The question was specific since for Kim school was always wrong in one way or another.

“Benny got his sister to …..” She shook her head and her eyes welled with tears.

“Now she won’t talk to you? I’m going to call Mrs. Perez. This has to stop.” Cara reached over to the pass-through counter and grabbed her cell phone.

“NO!..... No….” Kim put her left hand up and covered eyes.

“But honey, they can’t do that. It’s wrong!” Cara snapped at Kim, but she shuddered when she realized how loud she had been. She reached over and grabbed Kim by the arm, squeezing gently.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I just want you to be happy.”

“I’m never going to be happy, Mom….never.” She stood up quickly and ran down the hall. A loud door slam evoked another shudder from Cara followed by her own hand placed over her mouth. She looked down the hall and back again to the cell phone. It was true. There wasn’t anything that a phone call could fix. She put her hands together and laid her head down on her arms on the table.

“Dear God, please help my baby….” Was all she could manage to say before she began to weep.

---

That Sunday, at Paul Brunetti’s apartment…

“Hey guys,” a voice called from the landing of the apartment building.

“Hey, Uncle Paul!’ Joey waved and ran the short distance from the parking lot to his Uncle’s front door. The man pulled him into a hug. Jason walked slowly; almost deliberately so.

“Hey Jay,” He reached out for a hug and pulled the boy close. Jason offered no response and Paul shook his head slightly at what was becoming the boy’s answer for any affection. He patted Jason on the back as the boy slipped past him and into the apartment.

“Hi,” he heard as Pete reached the front stoop. Paul stepped down and grabbed Pete and pulled him into a hug. Pete’s response was barely much more than Jason’s other than offering a nod and a request.

“Hey, bro, got any beer?

“Separation hitting you hard, huh?”

“I’m….” Pete paused and looked at Joey, who was still standing behind Paul on the landing.

“Maybe we can talk after dinner?”

“Sure…let’s go inside.” Paul ushered Pete and Joey into the apartment. Jason had already sat down in front of the TV and was playing ‘Call of Duty.’ Joey walked over and sat down; grabbing the other control that lay in front of the console.

“Let me get you that beer, okay?” He turned and went to go into the kitchen just as a tall woman walked into the living room, two Heineken's in hand. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt that read, Hampton University. Her hair was a very dark red; cut to just below her shoulders and pulled back in a ponytail. Her face was what some might call handsome, but the freckles on her cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes caught Pete’s attention. Her expression was one of near-glee, like a child surprising an uncle or aunt with home-made birthday card.

“Here, babe.” She handed one of the beers to Paul and offered the other to Pete. He accepted it awkwardly and quickly shifted the beer as the woman wiped her right hand on her jeans before offering it to Pete, who shook it just as awkwardly.

“Oh, jeeez, Sorry.” Paul leaned close and kissed the woman on the cheek and smiled sheepishly before turning to Pete.

“I’m sorry, bro. You remember I told you I’d been dating a nice woman from Hampton? Pete, I’d like you to meet Annie…. Annie Nomhara.” She teased him with a half-stare.

“Oh, my bad. Dr. Annie Nomhara.” Paul put his head down in mock-shame. She pulled his chin up and kissed him back on the cheek.

“Uh…nice to meet you….uh…” Pete searched for words. The woman tall enough to look him in the eye, and he noted she was barefoot.

“I…this is very …I meant to tell you in a much more….well. Annie has agreed to….” Pete’s eyes widened at Paul’s words and he smiled.

“I’m…jeez, Paulie….I’m really happy for you. Well….I guess….” He stammered until Annie stepped close and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. He stepped back out of reflex and she half-smiled.

“Pete’s been going through a rough stretch. Hey…why don’t we go sit down. Dinner is almost ready, and you guys can relax while Annie and I get the food on the table. Pete nodded and walked over by the boys and sat down on the couch. He watched the two walk into the kitchen before breathing out a very frustrated sigh.

---

A short while later…

“Paul tells me you boys are in Middle School. Let me see…” Annie looked back and forth between the two.

“Now….you’re the youngest brother, so you’ve got to be Joey. You like the Carolina Panthers and you want to work for ESPN when you grown up? Joseph…Joey, right?” The boy’s eyes lit up and he nodded with a big grin.

“And you….” She turned to Jason. The boy half-frowned, evoking a squeeze of the arm from Pete. He sat up and looked at Annie and forced a smile.

“You’re the serious one. The oldest. The most responsible. You don’t really like the Panthers, but you…. You’re the Giants fan, right?” He warmed up a bit even as Pete sighed.

“Well, he didn’t get that from me,” he said almost dismissively. Cara hailed from Clifton, New Jersey, and grew up a Giants fan.

As if to provoke his father, Jason nodded almost enthusiastically.

“And you want to help people. You want to grow up to be a doctor? Jason, right?” He half-smiled and sighed.

“You’re almost fourteen and you’re going to be in Tallwood next year.” He nodded.

“I’m a doctor, but I’m not an MD. I’m a psychologist. I work with kids….:

“Yeah…I know. You work with kids who need to talk about how they feel,” Jason said just cordially enough not to be rude.

“We go see a Doctor over by Lynnhaven.” Annie nodded. She already knew of the boy’s circumstance; at least for most of the Brunetti children.

“How is that working out for you? Does talking help?” Joey nodded before reaching over for another slice of lasagna. Jason sighed with a slight shrug. Talking with Dr. Sherry was okay one-on-one, but family therapy almost always felt more painful when they were not talking, since what his mom and dad didn’t say felt hurtful.

“I know it’s not easy to talk when you’re upset.” He nodded with a frown.

“But there’s another brother. Is your brother Petey busy today?” Annie asked innocently enough. Paul coughed and Pete spoke up.

“Hey, guys. Why don’t you both walk down to Food Lion and get some ice cream.” Jason stood up immediately while Joe finished his last bite of lasagna. Pete handed Jason a twenty. The boy shoved the money in his pocket and in a moment he and Joey were out the door. Pete sighed and put his hand to his face. He massaged his cheek and temple by his left eye; seeking relief from what had become recurrent headaches.

---

“She won’t listen to reason,” Pete shook his head as he sipped a mug of coffee. Dessert was finished and the boys were outside throwing around a football from Paul’s pile of sports stuff by the front door.

“I don’t understand. What’s the problem with Petey? He always seemed to do well in school.” Paul mirrored his older brother; holding his coffee in his left hand.

“School’s only a problem because Cara has made it so. She’s….” Pete’s face reddened and his cheeks grew warm with shame; needless and sad, but still his response for something so far from shameful as to be tragic. He sighed but continued.

“You remember last year when the boys went out for Halloween?” Paul nodded and squinted in expectation. Pete had been angry at the time, and he made no effort to hide it then or now.

“Oh, come on, Pete. It was just a silly thing. They had fun.”

“Cara dressed them up ….all three of the boys as super heroes….well two of them.”

“Which two?” Annie leaned closer in attention. She could see Pete’s anger practically back in the moment.

“Arrow and Hawkeye,’ Pete said with a laugh, but his face quickly returned to disappointment. Annie nodded with a half-smile.

“Ah… DC vs. Marvel. Nice touch.”

“Well, that wasn’t the problem,” Pete practically snapped at Annie, evoking a raised eyebrow and a frown from Paul. Annie smiled at Pete.

“Sounds like something really bothered you. About?

“She got it in her head to listen to our middle boy….Petey….Junior” He said curtly, but it was obvious he wasn’t upset with either Paul or Annie.

“That show about the boy who….” He paused and practically seethed before continuing.

“The boy who is a super….dammit….the super….” He shook his head. Paul looked at Annie for some help. She didn’t want to know, in a way, since it would lead to more than anyone might be able to handle at that moment, but she asked anyway.

“The boy who is a super….heroine?” Annie cowered on the inside, but she continued to keep eye contact with Pete. He nodded without a word.

“And that bothers you a great deal. You seem upset even now.”

“Dammit. The kid doesn’t know what he wants or needs and now…son of a bitch.” He practically slammed his mug down; what little coffee was left went splashing all over the table. Annie continued to face Pete.

“I thought you and Cara had an understanding about that.” Paul shook his head.

“She’s letting him go ….he’s going to school dressed as a girl. And she enrolled him …..they’re calling him Kim. What the….dammit, Paul.”

“Petey is seeing someone as well?” Paul wiped the coffee up from the table with a dishtowel. Annie turned to Paul and shook her head.

“What the hell. That’s my son she’s screwing around with. What the hell. I don’t understand.”

“It’s hard when something so different enters our lives, Pete. I can certainly understand why you’re so upset.” Annie leaned closer in sympathy, but Pete remained distraught.

“Different? She’s messing with the kid’s head. We’re separated. We haven’t even discussed divorce, and the boys need us together, but this….this?” Paul rarely saw his brother open up, and he felt a bit lost. And it could only get worse.

---

Brandon Middle School, at the bus line the next day….

“Hey Kimmy….Nice outfit,” the boy laughed and shoved her rudely against the half-wall next to the sidewalk. She dropped her books on the ground as she fell against the hard stone that capped the wall.

“Leave him alone, Benny!” Jason stood, fists balled in anger. Benny laughed.

“Fuck you. You give him a hard time more than anybody. Who the hell are you to tell me?” He punctuated his claim by pushing Kim back against the wall again. He went to shove her once more, but ended up flat on his back as Jason slammed against him. The boy went to hit him, but a strong hand grabbed his fist.

“I think that’s enough for one day, Mr. Brunetti.” Eamon Farrell smiled warmly at the boy and helped him to his feet.

“And you too, Mr. Perez.” He offered the boy a hand, but Benny glared at Jason.

“You saw what he did, Mr. Farrell. It’s not fair.”

“No, Mr. Perez, it’s not fair….or unfair. It is, as my sainted mother might say, what it is. But if you want to go there, it certainly isn’t quite fair to shove a girl, now is it?” Benny offered no response.

“I thought not as well, Mr. Perez. Now I can’t predict the future, but seeing how they don’t like to boot you lads out of school anymore after a fight, I suppose I’ll be seein’ ye in my class for the next month or so, aye?” His accent always grew a wee bit deeper when he teased; a habit he picked up from being around several uncles who were ‘cards,’ as they used to say.

“I want to call my mom!” Benny said in protest as they were led into the school.

“I suppose the condemned man is due his phone call. What about you, Mr. Brunetti? Shall you be calling your father or shall I?”

“Go ahead. I don’t care.” Jason had come out on top, both physically and perhaps in stature, but he felt horrible. He turned back and glared at Kim; his expression saying without any doubt, ‘I hope you’re satisfied.’

Kim watched Jason disappear through the front doors of school. Only then did the moment catch up with her and she leaned back against the wall and began to cry.

No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't

To be continued...

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I Can’t Make You Love Me
Words and music by
Mike Reid and Allen Shamblin
As performed by Sarah Bettens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g7ddYRcL08