---

---

Previously…

At Paul’s home…

“Relax. I promise I won’t act like a doctor; my shrink outfit is in the cleaners anyway. And being a Brunetti, I bet you love Chicken Parm as much as your brother.” She walked over to the table and sat down; pointing to the chair across from her. He walked slow over and took a seat.

“Besides, Paul wanted you and me to get to know each other. Being his best man, we wanted you to know exactly what you’re standing up for.” She half smiled and took another swig of her ale as the oven beeped; signaling that their food was ready and their conversation was just about ready to get interesting.

---

A while later…

“So what’s the big deal?” Pete said as he finished the ale he had been nursing all through dinner.

“You’re getting married to my brother and he wants me as his best man. Gotta be better than his first marriage, right?” He laughed nervously and cringed when the words sank in.

“Paul and I already talked about his first marriage. Lana is completely fine with everything and Paul and she talk all the time. They did share a few years together and too much sorrow, right?”

Pete sighed at the word ‘sorrow.’ A still-born birth and the following complications did nothing to help an already shaky marriage, but over the years life had been kind enough to nurture forgiveness and reconciliation. Lana was happily remarried and both she and Paul could now recall all the good memorie they shared.

“I heard she and her husband adopted.” Pete remarked; again wincing at his own words. His expression betrayed him, he thought, but Annie smiled warmly.

“I know that look of question. It’s okay. I can’t have children, Pete. Paul and I have talked about adopting, too.”

Annie looked away. While the sorrow of being barren was something she shared with Paul’s ex, the circumstances were entirely too painful to ignore, which meant even more considering what she and Paul had decided they needed to tell Pete. And she felt it was important for her to talk with Pete one-to-one. The trust and hope she wished to foster in the family coming from who she was, and not what. She half-frowned; knowing that her next few words, no matter how carefully chosen, would either make or break the entire Brunetti home. She offered up a silent prayer while Pete finished his ale. He looked at her sideways, almost expecting something huge. It was huge…. Bigger than huge.

“I’ve known Paul for about five years. The beginning of our relationship was strictly professional. I met him as part of my practicum when I was finishing my master’s and he was seeking support through the school for some of his personal issues. I felt I couldn’t help him, and he ended up getting support at a group at VCU instead. And the following year we ran into each other at an art showing in Richmond. He was wandering around and literally knocked me off my feet by walking into me while I was talking with a friend at the gallery.” She laughed softly; her voice seemed almost husky but it was soothing at the same time.

“So it was love at first sight unseen?” Pete interjected.

“Yes,” she laughed.

“The reason I had disqualified myself from working with him in the first place was that I was immediately attracted to him, and I wanted to be fair to him and to myself. So I was...so glad we reconnected. He’s quite a guy.” She sighed; almost that ‘Isn’t he cute’ kind of sigh you might hear from a pre-teen.

“So after you met him again….like it was almost planned,” Pete said, and Annie blushed.

“Oh…shit…no. Not that you planned it…more like someone else?” Pete pointed up and she nodded.

“I believe with all my heart that it was completely providential that we met up again…..” She looked away; measuring her next few words.

“Especially with what I had to tell him about myself….” She looked back at Pete. Her eyes had filled with tears. She knew that everything between Paul would be just fine no matter what the next few moments held, but she desperately hoped and prayed….even to the point of praying the entire morning before Pete’s visit…that what she would say would not be lost or in vain. She took a deep breath and spoke.

“I love your brother, and I would never do anything to hurt him or anyone he holds dear.” Pete’s eyes began to widen in expectation.

“But my love has to be centered in who I am, no matter what others may think of me or your brother. Do you know what I mean?” Pete shook his head slightly.’

“Sort of. You want us…me and the boys….and Cara and….Petey….uh…” He stammered but continued.

“You want us to know you for who you are…. “Annie nodded.

“My name wasn’t always Nomhara…it’s sort of a play on words…. Nomhara is like saying my name is from Eaghra….my mother’s side is from Sligo in Ireland.”

“Like a nom de plume?”

“Sort of. I had to change my name for my family’s sake, so to speak, because they couldn’t deal with who I had become after I left home. We’ve made up….mostly, but the name stuck. And I like my first name anyway. Annie. Anne…from the Hebrew for grace. Something I treasure so much because of people like Paul…and I hope like you?’

“I don’t understand… why would ….of course I’d like you. Paul loves you, Annie.”

“Paul knows everything about me, Pete. That my family name is Inngeson. My mother was born in Strandhill back in Ireland. She’s a Sheridan. My dad is from Duluth. They had two kids… both …” Annie bit her lip and tears welled in her eyes as she said at last,

“Boys….”

---

At Aubrey’s house…

“You still okay?” Jason put his head down. Aubrey smiled and opened the door wider.

“Yes. Are you?”

“Uh….” He pouted but continued; perhaps a little too emphatic.

“I wouldn’t be standing here…” He stared at the girl. She stopped the motion of the door and shook her head.

“I’m sorry if being my friend is so difficult for you, Jason. Maybe you’d better go. She started to close the door and he put his hand up, but pulled it back and spoke instead.

“No….please…Aubrey?” It was the first time he’d uttered her name, and it felt odd and good at the same time for them both. It wasn’t a comfortable good, but good none the less.

“What….Jason?” She said it softly; her voice almost cracking with sad anticipation. He frowned, and she knew immediately it wasn’t for her sake but for his that he frowned. She opened the door wider once again and he stepped in.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to …what to say…. I want to be….”

“You want to be my friend? I want you to be my friend, but there’s so much between us. Stuff that you …you can’t deal with in your own family. I don’t want to be hurt.” Aubrey shook her head and turned away. He reached out and touched her hand. The first time he had extended anything remotely intimate other than in a familial sense. She shuddered.

“I …. I know that Kim is a girl.” Aubrey recoiled at the words. What did that mean to her? What did anything mean anymore? Life was already confusing and disappointing on a day to day basis.

“I….I know….” Jason shook his head; embarrassed that he was embarrassed. Why was life so complicated? He looked down and noticed the girl was wearing dark pink leggings. What the hell did that mean? Why couldn’t she just be a boy? Boys were easy. Girls were impossible as friends. His gaze drifted upward. He noticed that she seemed shorter than before. Had he grown? Maybe in some ways, but he was still perplexed.

“You know what, Jason?” She didn’t mean to snap at him, but her words were entirely curt and almost dismissive. He sighed, feeling defeated.

“I’m sorry….I didn’t mean to be….mean. You’re my friend, and that means however you can be my friend. I’m so sorry.” She went to continue but her words were cut short as he leaned closer and kissed her on the cheek.

“I know you’re a girl. And I gotta figure out what that means, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned to hop on his skateboard, forgetting that he had been replacing the bearings and had left it home. His face grew a bright red and he smiled weakly.

“Okay….” She sighed even as the tears spilled off her cheek onto his shoes. He backed away and turned, and in a moment was running down the block as fast as his feet could carry him. Aubrey watched him run around the corner and closed the door before he had even disappeared. She was almost okay enough to regroup, but she put her hand on her cheek; feeling what felt like the mix of her own tears and the moistness of his lips and she walked over to the couch. A moment later she was sitting down with a pillow covering her face as she cried; hard and confused and happy and sad and finally at a peace she had never enjoyed in her life.

---

Paul’s….

“So you’re adopted. Then you’ll have… that experience when you and Paul adopt?” He looked at her and sighed; the tension lifted….at least from his perspective. Annie shook her head even as tears spilled freely. She had fought guilt and shame for so long when she was younger that it was sometimes easy to forget they hang around like Job’s comforters; looking for ways to accuse even someone as innocent as her. She took a deep breath.

“No, Pete. My parents had two boys. My brother Nels….he’s two years younger than me and we only just began speaking recently after a very long dry spell…”

“I don’t get it.”

“I said…told you that I knew…how hard this whole thing with Kim was for you and your family. I know firsthand exactly how Kim feels because I went through it.”

“You’re joking, right?” Pete wasn’t convinced at all, and his words were more to try to convince himself he was wrong. She shook her head.

“I was born thirty-one years ago in Minneapolis. The first born of Anders and Maureen Inngeson… Anders Lars Inngeson, Junior.” She turned away, failing to stem the flow of tears. It was her story to own and even with the ghosts plaguing her at that very moment, she felt no shame; only fear that she had ruined whatever chance the family had for happiness. Pete would come to hate her and Paul the way he seemed to hate his own daughter, and the Brunetti’s would never know any joy or peace. But her efforts, such as they were, became like water on already aerated soil, so to speak. The germ of peace had already been planted by a gardener with much more skill at seeing good grow out of bad.

“Annie?” Pete practically whispered as he gently touched her arm. She turned to find his expression matching her own as tears fell from his chin onto the table. He squeezed her arm and then patted it softly.

“I’m….. ashamed of myself. I am so sorry it has come to this.” She winced, misunderstanding his meaning.

“I don’t know how to explain this other than to tell you and maybe you’ll understand? You telling me about yourself. I ….” Pete began to cry and it was Annie’s turn to comfort. She grabbed his hand and squeezed as if to say ‘I do… I want to know….”

“I….. Until you told me about ….it was like I couldn’t see a future for ….for her…for Kim….. I’m so sorry.” He apologized again, leaving Annie puzzled.

“When I was a kid, I had heard about my Uncle Vinnie and how he was treated....the whole dago, wop....thing. And then hearing the words...at school, you know. Nobody would ever say it to me, but they said it to other kids. 'Fucking dago.... spic... all the words ..... fag? All those words. Even though I never had anybody say it to my face it made me angry, and it made me feel like my Uncle…only he got beat up for it….” Annie nodded, trying to make sense of it all until he smiled.

“I couldn’t see how it was hurting Kim….just how much it hurt her until you told me how you…. That your parents did to you what I’ve done to my ….my daughter. I am so sorry,” he said at last and then began to sob. Annie got up and walked around the table. She stood behind Pete’s chair and hugged him.

“I know you’re sorry. I know….” She spoke softly and repeated herself.

“I know.” Pete nodded and as his tears abated he looked into her eyes. Bright, focused, and forgiving. And at her nod, she squeezed his shoulder; leaving him with an unsaid but very clear message. He smiled at her and spoke.

“And now I have someone else who needs to hear that.”

“Yes, Pete….. yes,” Annie said and helped him to his feet.

---

Rita’s office, Monday afternoon…

Cara and Kim sat on the couch across from Rita. The pair was a contrast in body language as Kim sat against the arm in a self-hug as she stared at her shoes. Cara appeared relaxed and even well-rested. Rita smiled at them both but turned her attention Kim.

“Did Kim tell you what we talked about last time?” Rita asked; her gaze going back and forth between Cara and Kim.

“Oh…about….’There’s my girl?’ I feel like I could…I should do more.” Cara sighed.

“Mom…you….every day you build me up…” the girl sighed.

“And every day….” Cara echoed the sigh.

“Every day someone or something tears you down? Is that about right, Kim?” The girl nodded without a word. Rita nodded in return.

“So when Jason and you talked? It’s hard to believe?”

“Uh…. I guess.”

“It’s hard to trust even after such good news, isn’t it?”

“I…. I don’t know what to think.” Kim continued to look away.

“How do you feel, Kim? What’s going on inside?” Rita glanced over at Cara and nodded.

“You were so excited when I got home from Richmond, baby. What’s wrong?”

“Me, Mom! Me!” She reached up and pulled her green Tam off and pulled at the wig underneath; throwing it onto the coffee table in the middle of the room.

“Oh, honey.” She put her hand on Kim’s shoulder. The girl went to pull away, but stopped in mid-move.

“What if….” She turned to Rita; her eyes pleading.

“If he does a ‘take back?’ What do you think?” Rita didn’t have to remind Kim regarding feelings. The girl was already on the verge of tears.

“I…. I want to … trust …. But what if he doesn’t”

“It’s scary to think that he might just go back to how he treated you the day before…. You know what I mean? That before the other day he did what? What did he call you? Who were you to Jason?”

“Petey…. My brother …. I….” She bit her lip at the thought. She shook her head.

“And who are you to him now? What name did he use?”

“Kim….he called me Kim.” She started to cry. Even the thought of her name seemed to ease the fear. She looked again at Rita, as if to verify her belief.

“It feels like he accepts you?” Rita tilted her head in quiet question. Kim nodded and wiped her face with her sleeve.

“And when you feel how things are, do you feel safe? Do you feel more secure when you recall how Jason looked at you?” Kim’s face grew warm and the tears came freely, but she looked much more relaxed.

“And when you remember how Jason smiled and called you Kim, do you believe he believes in you?”

“Ye….yes?”

“Kim, sweetie? You don’t have to feel or think anything unless it’s from inside you. How you feel and believe.

“I…. When I think about his smile….I….” She struggled to talk, but she buried her face in Cara’s arm and began to weep, speaking slowly between sobs….”

“Jason loves me, Mom….he loves me. Cara looked over at Rita who just nodded and half-smiled. Cara smiled back and put her head close to Kim’s and spoke softly.

“Yes he does, baby…. Yes he does.”

The world seems different now
More like a home somehow
More like a haven for the hope I couldn't find til now

---

Brandon Middle School, the next afternoon…

“Hey Petey?” The voice was familiar but the tone was altogether foreign and confusing. Kim turned to find Benny standing a few feet away. For the first time in ages, he didn’t look angry with her.

“Benny….” She said, her voice trailing off as she lowered her head, waiting for the teasing to resume. No words were exchanged for what seemed like forever until he spoke again.

“I….I’m so sorry.” She raised her head and saw that Benny was crying; an altogether off-putting expression that felt like a scorpion feigning retreat before the inevitable stab of its stinger. He shrugged his shoulders and stepped closer. She stepped back in response

“My Mom and I moved to my Nana’s over in College Park….” His voice trailed off and his face grew a dark red. She stepped closer, feeling oddly safe with her best friend cum bully. He shook his head.

“My Pops left….Me and Mom…. She couldn’t…” He put his head down and resumed crying. She noticed that he had a dark mark on his right wrist and his other arm was in a soft cast. Her eyes widened in shock and then to sadness as she realized what he was saying. He stepped back and put his hand in front of his face, as if to ward off her sympathy. Months of anger and foolish pride fell away as she pulled him into a soft hug.

“I’m so sorry, Petey,” he said again. The words were soft and sincere, even if he still got the name wrong. She hugged him closely and kissed his cheek. Real tears from real sadness and real remorse taste the best and she felt connected to him as much as she ever had. She patted him on the back as the bully went away, replaced once again by Petey’s best friend. But when she looked into his eyes….his bless-god-so-big-like a puppy dog-eyes….and realized that while she was seeing Benny as he always should have been, Benny was looking at Kim for the very first time.

And off to the side; almost completely ignored, stood Kate and Donna. They looked at each other and smiled. The kind of smile that accompanies a relieved sigh or two.

“You think Maria can see this?” Donna asked as she began to tear up.

“I don’t think she’d have missed this for the world…. Or heaven for that matter. She’s probably smiling almost as much as you are, babe.”

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Donna blinked back more tears as Kate nodded and replied,

“Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it. And I love you so much.” She forgot herself and went to kiss Donna on the cheek. A voice came from behind. Joey Brunetti was sitting on the low wall by the school sign.

“Oh hell, Ms. Kate….everybody knows. Go ahead and kiss her.”

And she did….

One look and it's done
One look and I'm lost
Before we've even begun

Friday after school…

The car pulled into the driveway. Cara got out and her eyes blinked in disbelief; hoping against hope that they were not playing tricks on her. Kim looked up from the magazine she was reading and noticed her mother standing at the side of the car; a cautious smile seemed to grow even as she began to shake. She followed her mother’s gaze toward the house to find two people sitting on the glide rocker on the short front step while another stood close by. The woman looked familiar; she’d seen a picture of her on her Uncle Paul’s social page. And the man sitting next to her had his head down, but the characteristic slouch and self-hug she practically adopted as her own told her something wonderful was about to happen. The man standing in front of the house was her Uncle Paul. He smiled and glanced sideways to indicate the man sitting beside Annie on the glider; adding a nod of confirmation.

“DAD?” She said as she opened the car door. Annie nudged the man next to her and he raised his head Peter Vincent Brunetti (no longer ) Sr. looked up; as nervous as anyone would be in his situation, he pushed past his fears and practically jumped off the glider. Kim ran to him and he pulled her up and into a hug. She looked in his eyes and finally saw what she had been searching for her whole if altogether yet unlived life and she began to weep.

“I’m so sorry, Kim….I was so wrong. I was so wrong about everything, he repeated. She began kissing his face…all over, as if there was not enough time to show how much she loved him… how much she forgave him.

Cara walked over tentatively; her faith slowly but finally catching up to and passing her fears. She put her hand on Pete’s arm to get his attention; cautious and tentative. Kim turned to her and shook her head no… Not the I don’t believe this no, but the no that says you don’t have to worry, Mom. Cara nodded and Pete looked at her…perhaps with the same warm smile and same loving eyes she saw on the day they were married. But these eyes were also filled with some wisdom and a lot of hope; things missing for too long in the Brunetti family, but finally making a welcome return.

The moon will shine its light
Upon this very night
And in your eyes I see
This love was meant to be

One look and it's done
One look and I'm lost
Before we've even begun

---

Aubrey’s neighborhood, a few weeks later…

“So you’re going to move back to your Mom’s,” Aubrey asked as she walked down the street next to a taller looking boy; his height only helped a wee bit by his skateboard. He turned to her and spoke; a rebuke almost until his voice softened at the end.

“Not my Mom’s…. Our home. Dad is gonna sublet the other place to Uncle Paul and Annie for when they get married.” At the word married, Aubrey sighed. Even at fifteen and fairly new to so many expectations regarding any child’s future, she still remained a girl, however new to the territory.

“We’ll still be going to Brandon, but I start Tallwood in the fall.” He looked away, trying to remain steadfastly and blissfully detached. She turned to him and smiled nervously.

“I’m glad things are working out for you and your family, Jason. I hoped things would work out. I’ve been praying for you ….you AND your family since we met. She began to blush.

“Uh….thanks,” Jason grunted. He wanted to say more, but his head was shoving his heart rudely aside; at least for the moment. The two walked up to her front door. She sat on the chair off to one side of the door and he sat down on the deep wooden planter on the edge of the step.

“I’ve been so…. Mom and Dad are getting counseling and it’s so good to see them smiling at each other. And Jenna is healthy…. So when you told me about your Mom and Dad? I …. I knew how you felt….” Her voice trailed off and she began to cry. He stood up and pulled her to her feet and into a brotherly embrace.

“Aubrey? It’s gonna be okay…You prayed for me and my family…and look how it turned out. I bet your prayer had a lot to do with you and your family. I think someone is looking after you.” He blushed at his own words and pulled back slightly.

“You mean that?”

“I …I do.” He smiled weakly and went to pull away but he found that he couldn’t let go. She looked at him and put her head down even as the tears continued to fall.

“Oh fuck….” He muttered; not nearly under his breath as he had intended, but Aubrey missed it entirely. He stepped close again and began to pat her back; not at all comfortable for him even as his every touch seemed to pull out and discard whatever hurt remained in the girl. He thought of her story… her mother and sister sick for so long and a father gone for so long and especially her feeling misunderstood for so long. Something new was changing inside him; a boy growing up even if he still was shorter than he preferred.

“It’s okay, Aubrey….it’s okay.” The thought came to him to tell her not to cry but then he remembered how much he needed to cry for so long. He hadn’t meant to be that close; certainly not so soon and never in any other way than to be like a brother to her. But life has its ways of occasionally grabbing us by the arms and making us face things sooner than we had intended. And he was only just fifteen himself. He kissed her on the cheek; almost with the same intent as only a week or so before, but the kiss had other ideas.

“I’m here.” He found the words drifting out of his mouth on their own. He certainly wanted to be there for her, but in that moment…that brand new girls are nice moment he realized he was also there for him as well. He was helped along when she turned her face to look into his eyes and their lips met. She hadn’t meant to kiss him, but she went ahead against every better judgment inside her and against every lie her ghosts told her about the kind of girl she was. She found she no longer felt ashamed and she found Jason Brunetti’s lips and she kissed a boy for the very first time….the only boy Aubrey Davidson would ever kiss, for that matter.

“Hey….slow down….” Jason had meant to say stop, but something inside him didn’t want her to stop and he kissed her back. The only girl Jason Brunetti would ever kiss, for that delightful matter as well. And while there’s much more to tell about Jason and Aubrey, suffice to say that they did live mostly happy and indeed ever after.

Tell me we're ok
Tell me "you can stay"
Say "you're not a fool to let my heart go your way"

Tell me this is real
Head over heels
So glad I found
Someone just like you

More Aubrey and Jason soon…

---

Someone Just Like you
Words and music by
K’s Choice
As performed by Sarah Bettens
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou07dKQYcZw