Victorianna Pentangelo stood on a hill overlooking Lake Ewuana. She trembled at the thought of what she was about to do. Looking down at her right hand, she felt the weight of the gun pulling at her; beckoning in a way. She breathed a deep sigh and put the gun to her right temple. As she did, she said a quick prayer, seeking forgiveness for the unforgiveable...

Beyond These Shores

Previously...

"Help that poor boy find hope?" Nothing demanding in her tone; rather a plea backed by a lifetime of faith in someone greater than herself. She hadn't meant for this to get so personal. Nevertheless, her eyes welled up with unexpected tears as she put her head on the bed and cried.

Beyond these shores
Into the darkness
Beyond these shores
This boat may sail
And if this is the way
Then there will be
A path across this sea

Rianna sat on a large flat stone that rested on a bluff that overlooked Klamath Lake. While the ‘bay’ seemed huge and promised adventure and such, it really didn’t go anywhere other than a few miles north. No shore from which to depart; it certainly seemed fitting as she felt she was going nowhere fast, as the old saying goes. Routines can be fun or not so much; life is what you make it, right?

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed direct to ICU, bypassing the operator.

“Nancy? Rianna…yes…that boy…oh…the young man we brought in the other day? Yeah… I figured they’d keep him for a few days. So young…yes…uh huh….too young!” She paused and looked back over the lake.

“Nancy? Could you say…Yep I know it’s against regs…You will? Thanks…you’re a dear.” She closed the phone and sighed. What kind of pain causes that much loss of hope? She knew that pain. Probably right at the same age when she came out to her family.

Years before…

”Dear God in heaven, Vic…what the hell?” The oath was more out of habit than out of any remote semblance of reverence. Joey looked at his baby brother with an almost disdain, leaving their mother to literally throw up her hands in resignation.

Words spoken; not in haste, but with measured patience as Joseph Junior had been almost looking forward to this moment. Words that would not soon be regretted and then only with too much sadness and pain even if the gulf between her and her family was healed.

A few weeks later…

Victorianna Pentangelo stood on a hill overlooking Lake Ewuana. She trembled at the thought of what she was about to do. Looking down at her right hand, she felt the weight of the gun pulling at her; beckoning in a way. She breathed a deep sigh and put the gun to her right temple. As she did, she said a quick prayer, seeking forgiveness for the unforgiveable. As she prayed, she squeezed the trigger; the pull seemed too much for her index finger, but she persisted. Her struggle with the trigger threw everything off and the gun went off as the bullet sped harmlessly past her ear through a lock of her hair; embedding itself in a pine tree.

“I…I forgive you,' she said, stressing the word 'you.' The emphasis wasn’t lost on Joey as he smiled at Rianna through grieving tears that also promised healing. She hugged him again; this time filled with hope instead of fear. It was going to be alright.

The present…Sky Lakes Medical Center…

“I’ve got the car parked right by the exit; I’ll go get it while you’re saying your goodbyes,” Keeva touched Chris lightly on the arm. He turned and sighed.

“I’m not ready for this.” He looked down at himself and shook his head.

“It’s just a step, hon. You’ll be okay. Listen…” She paused. The last thing she wanted to do was send mixed signals.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to, Chris. But it’s very much alright if you do want to, right?”

She moved her head as her eyes darted back and forth; indicating the clothing that cause so much anxiety. He…rather, she was wearing plain jeans and a top, but Chris’ shape was somewhat enhanced by a lightly padded bra that hid beneath the shirt. Boots and a dark green cardigan completed her outfit; so what if the sweater buttoned on the ‘boy’s side.’

“You look just fine, and really, if it’s too much at once, just take the bra off and put your jeans cuff outside the boot and no one will know the difference.”

She smiled at her step-child and shrugged her shoulders. Thankfully, Chris’ Dad had taken his child’s request to heart and had stayed away; at least for the discharge. Keeva hoped he would follow through and honor Chris’ wishes. The erstwhile girl looked nervously down the corridor toward the elevator.

“It’s okay. Really. We can order in for dinner later and you won’t have to go anywhere if you’d rather stay home.”

Home…how she had managed to gain ‘custody’ of Chris amazed her, since she wasn’t even related to the girl except by marriage. Chris was an adult, and as such could live anywhere she chose. That Chris trusted Keeva over her Dad spoke volumes and gave her strength and hope to believe the best for Chris. Believing the best for herself came a bit harder, but so long as she was keeping things together for her step-child….step-daughter? Things could be a lot worse.

“I’ve reached out to some folks that might be of help to you; you don’t have to meet any of them or even talk with them if you’re not ready. And you’ve got an appointment tomorrow with Dr. Ragazza, okay?” She pulled the cardigan closed and smiled.

“There…nobody can tell either way, so just relax for a few while I get the car.” She waved bye to the nurses at the station before walking to the elevator. As the elevator door opened, she had to step back as a woman about her age stepped out; looking very anxious.

“I’m so sorry…please excuse me,” Keeva said as she stepped aside. Riana Pentangelo nodded.

“Oh, gosh…my bad.” She noted the woman’s face and kind expression and said,

“I would be happy to,” which was followed quickly by a very hot, red face and a slight turn of the head. Keeva noticed the EMT patch on Riana’s shirt.

“Oh…” She read the name tag and began to blush as well.

“You’re the woman I talked to…from the support group. And you...you saved her.” She said it loud enough that both of them turned to note if the nurses had heard the exchange. They hadn’t. Rianna struggled to ignore the last statement. The young man...woman...had been saved, but not by any earthly intervention. She stumbled over the next few words.

“Yes. I’m glad I caught you before you left. And before you ask; yes...I have a friend who works here and she called me this morning.” Riana turned slightly and saw Chris being ushered to a waiting wheel chair; regulations are regulations, and being discharged demanded the escort. Riana and Keeva turned at the same time; Keeva to her left and Riana to her right, causing the two to collide as they attempted to walk back toward Chris. A moment later they were both on the floor, laughing. The soft, sweet laugh of the Irishwoman blended nicely with the hearty alto of the Italian; a mixture that wasn’t lost on either of them.

“Maybe you two need the wheelchair more than me?” Chris said with a smile; the first real smile since her admission days before.

“Don’t mind me; I was chewing gum when I got out of the elevator.” Riana said. The joke went over Chris’ head but Keeva laughed again. The two helped each other up and stood face-to-face. Sizing up, they used to call it. Only two reasons for sizing someone up, many might say. Either they were looking for weaknesses in preparation for a fight or, at least a rivalry. Or perhaps they were looking at each other to see how things ‘fit’ with how they felt. At least for Riana. Keeva wasn’t looking for any attachments, and besides, she was as straight as they come. The moment dissipated quickly as Chris spoke.

“Do you think we could go out for lunch?” A big step to be sure; even if her gender might seem ambiguous to the casual on-looker, the idea of stepping out for the first time as a young woman, if only underneath so to speak, was a huge step for her.

“Actually, I was hoping to find you here. I’d love to take you...both to lunch.” She looked at Chris, but Riana’s attention, at least in spirit, was on the attractive woman who stood next to her.

“I’m okay if Chris doesn’t mind.” Keeva looked at her step-child….was that even any way to describe her love for Chris. She nodded at the girl and Chris nodded back. Keeva turned to Riana and said,

“My daughter and I will be happy to take lunch with you.” She was about to add ‘thank you’ when Chris put her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp. Tears quickly welled in her eyes and she shook her head in disbelief.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. Did I say something to upset you? I’m sorry if I spoke for both of us. We can go home for now.”

Chris shook her head no; unable for the moment to speak what was on her heart. Keeva was going to continue but Riana put her hand out in caution; actually grabbing Keeva’s wrist with a soft grip. She recognized the look on Chris’ face because it was the very same look she had when her brother finally and lovingly accepted her. A moment later her take on Chris’ expression was confirmed.

“It…you called me your daughter.” She stammered; alternately sobbing and laughing in quick succession.

“You…you called me YOUR daughter!” A moment like this demanded a ‘group’ hug, but Riana held back; actually nudging Keeva toward Chris. Healthy, robust, and relieved sobs seemed to fill the corridor, but really they were barely heard over the loud beep and an innocuous announcement about some hospital function later that day. The two held each other and in those few seconds a family was being knit together.

The moment wasn’t lost on Riana. She stood back and watched the two as they faced each other, alternately laughing and crying. And Riana knew one thing if she knew anything at all. She would give all of her worldly possessions and then some if she could be a part of that family as she promptly and almost inexplicably fell in love with Keeva O’Bannon.

And if I sail beyond
The farthest ocean
Or lose myself in depths below
Wherever I may go
Your love surrounds me
For you have been before
Beyond these shores

Next: Vision of Naran

Beyond These Shores
Words and music and
performance by Iona
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_mR-dNAJ38