Easy As Calling For A Light.
by: Bonzi (It's her turn to sleep tonight)
part:355

As I made my way to the lecture room I felt very unhappy about the interview with Keith. It shook up too many feelings, I thought I had put to bed. I was a woman now, not anything else, just a woman and I didn't need to be reminded of my past. It was historical fact, nothing more. Once I got my gender recognition certificate, and my new birth certificate, it would be case closed.

I felt a bit guilty, when someone asks for help, surely one is obliged to help. Even though I didn't really feel it, there was some sort of kinship amongst all gender variant people. Maybe he felt exactly the same as I had done but was unable to do anything about it-until now? I'd had to escape from home before I could start my own pupation and emerge from the chrysalis. Without the help of Stella and Tom and then Simon, I'd still be sat in my bedsit worrying about when or how I would do it.

My lesson was less than my usual performance and I set them an assignment and finished early. I went to see Tom. Fortunately, he was free.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I said looking at him in astonishment.

"My girl, you looked triumphant earlier on, now you look as if you lost on penalties?"

"I need to talk, if you have a minute?"

"For you, I have a whole sixty seconds, come into my boudoir," he ushered me into his room. "What's the prob?"

"I've had a student come to me for advice on changing sex."

His eyes widened, "Well you probably know more about it than I do. So what's the problem?"

"I'm not sure, I think there are people who would be better qualified to deal with it."

"In a professional sense, but they don't have the tee shirt, like you do."

I actually giggled at that remark and it's implication, 'been there, done that, got the tee shirt!'

"What's so funny?"

"You are, I love your turn of phrase, sometimes."

"You should love it all the time, support your local professor," he winked at me. "Look, I have another interminable meeting in a few minutes and I will be short of a luncheon companion, so how about we postpone this for..." he looked at his watch, "...and hour and a half?"

"Okay, it'll give me time to organise my thoughts."

"Fraid not, I have a pile of correspondence from various government agencies which needs a reply drafted, here," he dumped a large folder in my hands.

"How come I always get to do the dirty work?" I protested.

"Because Pippa can't, it needs a scientist to answer some of it, but they're all busy, so we have to use you."

"Huh, you cheeky sod, what sort of answer is that?"

"All you're going to get, be a good girl and get stuck in, here, you can use my desk and if you ask nicely enough, Pippa might make you a cup of tea. See you later." he picked up his battered brief case and left.

I spent the next hour sipping tea and answering queries from Natural England about granting licences to various groups to possibly handle or disturb dormice, which are protected species in the UK.

In terms of feeding my ego, they seemed to think, I was an authority on the subject. Then, compared to Tom, I was. I did one regarding bats and then dealt with a query about badgers and TB in cattle. I was not in favour of a cull, nor was the evidence which tended to suggest badgers were occasional vectors, but poor animal husbandry was the cause. Not a lot of comfort to the poor cows they slaughter or the farmers who lose money because of it.

Then a letter which completely concentrated my mind, someone had seen a pine marten in the forests of Northumbria and wrote to tell us about it.

'...I was walking in the area which is primarily pine forest, counting red squirrels, which are regular inhabitants although not numerous, when I spotted a russet coloured creature rush up a tree and pursue a squirrel over a period of one or two minutes.

I could not believe that anything could actually dash through the trees faster than the acrobatic Sciurus vulgaris, but this creature did, pursuing the unfortunate squirrel and finally catching and killing it.

I then explored the area more carefully and discovered what looked like latrines, which had musty smelling droppings, some of which I enclose in the jar. I'd be grateful if you could confirm tht they are pine marten and not badger.'

"Lucky sausage," I said as Pippa entered the room.

"Who is?"

"This guy, he saw a pine marten catch a tufty."

"What's a tufty?"

"A red squirrel!" I looked astonished at her ignorance.

"Don't look at me like that, Catherine Watts, how am I supposed to know, you lot talk in code half the time. What is that?" She screwed up her nose at the contents of the small jar I was examining.

"What does it look like?"

"Sh..poo," she said standing back as I offered it to her, "ugh, keep it away from me."

"It is poo, hopefully pine marten poo, which we can use to add to the DNA data base."

"I thought that only applied to paedophiles and things."

"Duh! Cambridge University, has been keeping a data base of genetic material of British mammals for years. We can use it to check on new races when we think we've found one. If ever we need to captive breed things, we can ensure a good genetic mix. One of the sources of DNA, is good old fashioned shit, which we'll share with them, as the old chap was kind enough to supply a grid reference for it's location."

"It gives new meaning to getting shit in the post, I suppose, sorry I can't share your enthusiasm." She left shutting the door behind her.

I photocopied the letter and gave it and the sample to Neal, who just loves to play with poo, maybe I should rephrase that, he has an interest in the dietary habits of creatures, and their menus.

I had just clicked my way back to the office when Tom came back from his meeting. "I don't know how you walk in those things? he said regarding my shoes. Then added, Well you certainly look happier."

"I've just given Neal some poo to analyse."

"Oh good, he'll enjoy that." He looked at me, "The pine marten?"

I nodded.

"You reminded him to send some to Cambridge?"

"Of course, I'm not..."

"Just a pretty face, I think we all know that. Right, Pippa, I'm going to lunch and so is Cathy, we have some things to discuss. See you at two-ish, damn, I have to see the auditor then, don't I?"

"Fraid so," replied his secretary.

"Oh shit!"

"No, I took that to Neal," I said smirking.

"Watch it Missy, or you'll end up buying your own lunch!" He threw back at me.